Discussion
Skeksis said:
Managed to tear mine a couple of weeks back, bled for a good 6 hours, seems fine now though.
Ended up explaining it to some women on the NHS direct line, said I needed to put it in ice water - Sod that!
Got a couple of weeks until the G/F gets back from the US so hopefully it'll have enough time to prevent a repeat performance!
Was the G/F responsible, or did you have a furious wEnded up explaining it to some women on the NHS direct line, said I needed to put it in ice water - Sod that!
Got a couple of weeks until the G/F gets back from the US so hopefully it'll have enough time to prevent a repeat performance!
k?
M400 NBL said:
Skeksis said:
Managed to tear mine a couple of weeks back, bled for a good 6 hours, seems fine now though.
Ended up explaining it to some women on the NHS direct line, said I needed to put it in ice water - Sod that!
Got a couple of weeks until the G/F gets back from the US so hopefully it'll have enough time to prevent a repeat performance!
Was the G/F responsible, or did you have a furious wEnded up explaining it to some women on the NHS direct line, said I needed to put it in ice water - Sod that!
Got a couple of weeks until the G/F gets back from the US so hopefully it'll have enough time to prevent a repeat performance!
k?M400 NBL said:
Skeksis said:
Managed to tear mine a couple of weeks back, bled for a good 6 hours, seems fine now though.
Ended up explaining it to some women on the NHS direct line, said I needed to put it in ice water - Sod that!
Got a couple of weeks until the G/F gets back from the US so hopefully it'll have enough time to prevent a repeat performance!
Was the G/F responsible, or did you have a furious wEnded up explaining it to some women on the NHS direct line, said I needed to put it in ice water - Sod that!
Got a couple of weeks until the G/F gets back from the US so hopefully it'll have enough time to prevent a repeat performance!
k?
Busted either way...
¬_¬ Nah, she did it before she went, maybe some sort of cunning plan to prevent me from having any furious times by myself while shes gone?
She met my parents for the first time a few hours after, they all knew what had happened, some form of revenge I guess!
She met my parents for the first time a few hours after, they all knew what had happened, some form of revenge I guess!
Edited by Skeksis on Friday 9th July 14:10
Skeksis said:
¬_¬ Nah, she did it before she went, maybe some sort of cunning plan to prevent me from having any furious times by myself while shes gone?
She met my parents for the first time a few hours after, they all knew what had happened, some form of revenge I guess!
What? They all knew. Did she introduce herself to your mum withShe met my parents for the first time a few hours after, they all knew what had happened, some form of revenge I guess!
Edited by Skeksis on Friday 9th July 14:10
"Hello Mrs Skeksis - I'm so very pleased to meet you. By the way, not 4 hours ago I damn near snapped your son's cock off. Claret everywhere! He won't be w
king for a good while. Canape?"Or were your trousers that special hue of crimson all over the crotch?
They called in the morning and I just told them, probably somewhat of a blunder, but I needed advice on how to get all the blood out of the bedsheets (Only moved out solo a few months back and I'm a bit useless!)
Easy going parents though, they just thought it was funny / didnt mention it in front of her at all. They thought she was really nice, so it was all good!
Easy going parents though, they just thought it was funny / didnt mention it in front of her at all. They thought she was really nice, so it was all good!
Edited by Skeksis on Friday 9th July 14:24
Skeksis said:
They called in the morning and I just told them, probably somewhat of a blunder, but I needed advice on how to get all the blood out of the bedsheets (Only moved out solo a few months back and I'm a bit useless!)
Easy going parents though, they just thought it was funny / didnt mention it in front of her at all. They thought she was really nice, so it was all good!
So on that day you snapped the banjo and your parents introduced you to a thing called the washing machine.Easy going parents though, they just thought it was funny / didnt mention it in front of her at all. They thought she was really nice, so it was all good!
Edited by Skeksis on Friday 9th July 14:24
Eventful day I would say
ah well.This happened to me a few months back, ripped it when doing something abit odd with my girlfriend but then the second time it went when i was in bed at home with the missus and there was blood everywhere. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and washed the blood off in the sink and eventually built up the courage to peel back to reveal the damage and it looked like it was completely cut in half! This led to the top of my head having pins and needles and me feeling light headed and sick, i had to step into the bath tub and lay down and ask my girlfriend to splash cold water onto me as i was about to pass out! butt naked laying in the bath covered in blood being splashed with cold water like a beached whale by my girlfriend! pathetic.
4 weeks later it turned out to be alright although i think the banjo is literally hanging on by a thread!
4 weeks later it turned out to be alright although i think the banjo is literally hanging on by a thread!
MPowerMark said:
This happened to me a few months back, ripped it when doing something abit odd with my girlfriend but then the second time it went when i was in bed at home with the missus and there was blood everywhere. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and washed the blood off in the sink and eventually built up the courage to peel back to reveal the damage and it looked like it was completely cut in half! This led to the top of my head having pins and needles and me feeling light headed and sick, i had to step into the bath tub and lay down and ask my girlfriend to splash cold water onto me as i was about to pass out! butt naked laying in the bath covered in blood being splashed with cold water like a beached whale by my girlfriend! pathetic.
4 weeks later it turned out to be alright although i think the banjo is literally hanging on by a thread!
What were you doing?4 weeks later it turned out to be alright although i think the banjo is literally hanging on by a thread!
Tell us.
I did much the same three times when I was younger - first time I cried like a little girl, strangely it didn't hurt that much, but the vast quantity of blood squirting out of the old chap - a result of an extremely enthusiastic girl on top. Cue a couple of weeks off.
Second time a couple of weeks later, different girl and not enough healing time. Got the bleeding stopped, carefully/gingerley wrapped in a dry/hypoallergenic condom and away we went (figuring that spermicide/lube etc might sting a little) just a little less exuberant. In hindsight maybe not the wisest choice but she was enthusiastic, hot and filthy, would have been a sin not to, and of course extra points for dedication to the cause.
Third and last time was a result of going at it with gusto in a very petite lass (get it? got it? mmmkay) her legs over my shoulders and a misplaced thrust 50% goal 30% taint and 20% wrongun - cue major pain what looked and felt like gallons of blood, a trip to the docs and a spell of abstinence.
My advice, go see the doc and take guidance, and if you absolutely, positively have to get it away, at least for the next few weeks wrap it up and make sure there's a good bit of lube around, and some tissues and towels, just in case.
Oh, and when you're healed take the time to gently test the limits of stretch and repeat whenever you have a few spare minutes of time with ms palm, with time the banjo will become more pliable and less prone to terrifying bloodbaths.
Second time a couple of weeks later, different girl and not enough healing time. Got the bleeding stopped, carefully/gingerley wrapped in a dry/hypoallergenic condom and away we went (figuring that spermicide/lube etc might sting a little) just a little less exuberant. In hindsight maybe not the wisest choice but she was enthusiastic, hot and filthy, would have been a sin not to, and of course extra points for dedication to the cause.
Third and last time was a result of going at it with gusto in a very petite lass (get it? got it? mmmkay) her legs over my shoulders and a misplaced thrust 50% goal 30% taint and 20% wrongun - cue major pain what looked and felt like gallons of blood, a trip to the docs and a spell of abstinence.
My advice, go see the doc and take guidance, and if you absolutely, positively have to get it away, at least for the next few weeks wrap it up and make sure there's a good bit of lube around, and some tissues and towels, just in case.
Oh, and when you're healed take the time to gently test the limits of stretch and repeat whenever you have a few spare minutes of time with ms palm, with time the banjo will become more pliable and less prone to terrifying bloodbaths.
Get em sorted properly lads! Frenuloplasty is a very short operation and you'll be back at work the next day. Just thought I would give you guys an update.
I left it for a few days hoping by some kind of miracle that it would simply heal itself... it didn't, so off I trundle down to my doctors. I could not get an appointment with my GP so had to see the new one, lovely lady too. She took one look and said " we need to get this sorted don't we?".
So I am booked in for "The snip" next week. I will let you know how it goes if you really want....
I left it for a few days hoping by some kind of miracle that it would simply heal itself... it didn't, so off I trundle down to my doctors. I could not get an appointment with my GP so had to see the new one, lovely lady too. She took one look and said " we need to get this sorted don't we?".
So I am booked in for "The snip" next week. I will let you know how it goes if you really want....
VEA said:
Just thought I would give you guys an update.
I left it for a few days hoping by some kind of miracle that it would simply heal itself... it didn't, so off I trundle down to my doctors. I could not get an appointment with my GP so had to see the new one, lovely lady too. She took one look and said " we need to get this sorted don't we?".
So I am booked in for "The snip" next week. I will let you know how it goes if you really want....
They are going to cut it all off I left it for a few days hoping by some kind of miracle that it would simply heal itself... it didn't, so off I trundle down to my doctors. I could not get an appointment with my GP so had to see the new one, lovely lady too. She took one look and said " we need to get this sorted don't we?".
So I am booked in for "The snip" next week. I will let you know how it goes if you really want....
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff