Sex after having kids
Discussion
trackdemon said:
budgie smuggler said:
The section about it being "entirely normal to never feel spontaneous sexual desire in a long term relationship" blew my mind a bit. No wonder really that so many people get divorced/have affairs.
I also think that's horses
t. Why should it be that way? Do you suddenly stop fancying your partner? (In which case I'd question how much you fancied them in the first place). Sex (intimacy) is pretty high on maslow's hierarchy of needs so for that to disappear from a relationship.... well you're no longer in a relationship are you? IME it's simply not true anyway, although I suppose it depends how you define long term - nearly 7 years in my casexeny said:
trackdemon said:
budgie smuggler said:
The section about it being "entirely normal to never feel spontaneous sexual desire in a long term relationship" blew my mind a bit. No wonder really that so many people get divorced/have affairs.
I also think that's horsest. Why should it be that way? Do you suddenly stop fancying your partner? (In which case I'd question how much you fancied them in the first place). Sex (intimacy) is pretty high on maslow's hierarchy of needs so for that to disappear from a relationship.... well you're no longer in a relationship are you? IME it's simply not true anyway, although I suppose it depends how you define long term - nearly 7 years in my casexeny said:
trackdemon said:
budgie smuggler said:
The section about it being "entirely normal to never feel spontaneous sexual desire in a long term relationship" blew my mind a bit. No wonder really that so many people get divorced/have affairs.
I also think that's horsest. Why should it be that way? Do you suddenly stop fancying your partner? (In which case I'd question how much you fancied them in the first place). Sex (intimacy) is pretty high on maslow's hierarchy of needs so for that to disappear from a relationship.... well you're no longer in a relationship are you? IME it's simply not true anyway, although I suppose it depends how you define long term - nearly 7 years in my caseWell this thread is certainly enlightening,.. 
Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the fk is she like this now???"
He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six fking months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"
So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the f
k is she like this now???"He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six f
king months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
NFT said:
Well this thread is certainly enlightening,..
Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the fk is she like this now???"
He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six fking months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"
So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
I wonder if anywhere on this thread any women have posted about being sexually frustrated. There must be a few , it can’t just be men who are asking for more and getting nothing. Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the f
k is she like this now???"He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six f
king months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
GT3Manthey said:
NFT said:
Well this thread is certainly enlightening,..
Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the fk is she like this now???"
He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six fking months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"
So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
I wonder if anywhere on this thread any women have posted about being sexually frustrated. There must be a few , it can’t just be men who are asking for more and getting nothing. Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the f
k is she like this now???"He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six f
king months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
NFT said:
Well this thread is certainly enlightening,..
Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the fk is she like this now???"
He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six fking months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"
So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
I often wonder having read these threads if I am in some sort of a strange marriage where I don't have to negotiate sex, it just happens, regularly, with my wife I should probably add. Was in public toiled other week, ghastly places, but fellow in cubical was talking to himself quite upset, "Why?, Why?, 23 years and now nothing, why, we have kids, we are well off, I've got promoted, I turned Stephany down, I told her no, I'm committed, ... Why, why nothing for me, I try start and its, NO, NO not now, NO, I've never said No, Now this.. Won't give head, won't kiss intimately, its pecks on the lips and nothing more, She's not cheating, she sits at home all day or in cafes... So why. Why the f
k is she like this now???"He came out, shocked I was there, I said, perhaps give Stephany a call mate. He said "Bloody right, she's 10 years younger and that selfish cow hasn't given me anything for six months, six f
king months, I could have bought a supercar with what she's cost me, and I didn't even want kids.,"So my question is, how does one negotiate continued intimacy post kids, or license to build a harem of sexual bliss elsewhere?
I have two kids.
Bloxxcreative said:
One of my best friends was dumped from a 6 year relationship because of her needs. It works both ways. Having alot of women friends, often their conversations are no different to most groups of men.
That was my point . They are probably on Mumsnet complaining about their men !
Hi all just a quick update on this, things have got slightly better we plan to have sex once a week some weeks we will have sex the day we have planned to other weeks we won't and it will get kicked down the road until the next day and the next and the next which is incredibly frustrating for me as I head to bed all worked up for sex then nothing happens and I'm just laid in bed for hours until I'm tired enough to go to sleep.
Often we try and she says it's not working for her and I say we will try tomorrow then. Other times she says she can't because relax cause we've put it off for 4 days so I say why don't we just do it on the day planned then?
The weeks we have it we are fine and get along the weeks we don't have it she gets fed up of talking about it and it causes arguments.
The problem is between asking to actually doing it can be 4-5 days so by the time we do it we are already into the next week .
I often find myself agreeing with her on things just to increase the chance of having planned sex that night then when that doesn't happen it's adds to the frustration.
Some weeks are fine and I feel happy like we are actually getting somewhere then the next week it's back to arguing about it.
Often we try and she says it's not working for her and I say we will try tomorrow then. Other times she says she can't because relax cause we've put it off for 4 days so I say why don't we just do it on the day planned then?
The weeks we have it we are fine and get along the weeks we don't have it she gets fed up of talking about it and it causes arguments.
The problem is between asking to actually doing it can be 4-5 days so by the time we do it we are already into the next week .
I often find myself agreeing with her on things just to increase the chance of having planned sex that night then when that doesn't happen it's adds to the frustration.
Some weeks are fine and I feel happy like we are actually getting somewhere then the next week it's back to arguing about it.
GT3Manthey said:
AyBee said:
Nothing says romance like pre-planned sex!
With young kids in tow that’s sometimes how it has to be. It might not end up happening but you can’t just abandon the 1yr old for a bunk up half way through its Farley’s Rusks !
CraigNewmarket said:
Hi all just a quick update on this, things have got slightly better we plan to have sex once a week some weeks we will have sex the day we have planned to other weeks we won't and it will get kicked down the road until the next day and the next and the next which is incredibly frustrating for me as I head to bed all worked up for sex then nothing happens and I'm just laid in bed for hours until I'm tired enough to go to sleep.
Often we try and she says it's not working for her and I say we will try tomorrow then. Other times she says she can't because relax cause we've put it off for 4 days so I say why don't we just do it on the day planned then?
The weeks we have it we are fine and get along the weeks we don't have it she gets fed up of talking about it and it causes arguments.
The problem is between asking to actually doing it can be 4-5 days so by the time we do it we are already into the next week .
I still think you're behaving like a child anticipating being given a present by a parent and getting beside yourself with excitement, only to tantrum when it's delayed.Often we try and she says it's not working for her and I say we will try tomorrow then. Other times she says she can't because relax cause we've put it off for 4 days so I say why don't we just do it on the day planned then?
The weeks we have it we are fine and get along the weeks we don't have it she gets fed up of talking about it and it causes arguments.
The problem is between asking to actually doing it can be 4-5 days so by the time we do it we are already into the next week .
If you've put it off for whatever reason, maybe just let it roll until the next week? If she can't relax, it's probably because you're humping her leg hassling her, trying to get her to agree to it.
Seek help for your urges or find another partner with a long term sex drive which matches yours.
Muzzer79 said:
I still think you're behaving like a child anticipating being given a present by a parent and getting beside yourself with excitement, only to tantrum when it's delayed.
If you've put it off for whatever reason, maybe just let it roll until the next week? If she can't relax, it's probably because you're humping her leg hassling her, trying to get her to agree to it.
Seek help for your urges or find another partner with a long term sex drive which matches yours.
She did have the same sex drive it was never a problem before how do you know what someone's sex drive will be 5/10 years into the future? If you've put it off for whatever reason, maybe just let it roll until the next week? If she can't relax, it's probably because you're humping her leg hassling her, trying to get her to agree to it.
Seek help for your urges or find another partner with a long term sex drive which matches yours.
I don't tantrum I'm the one who says lets just leave it till tomorrow.
It's OK saying put it off until next week but it impacts our whole homelife daily, I think why should I put effort in if she doesn't for 30 mins a week. Like I said I find myself agreeing with her to do things even though I don't want just to not put her in a negative mood.
Edited by CraigNewmarket on Tuesday 21st November 17:03
CraigNewmarket said:
Muzzer79 said:
I still think you're behaving like a child anticipating being given a present by a parent and getting beside yourself with excitement, only to tantrum when it's delayed.
If you've put it off for whatever reason, maybe just let it roll until the next week? If she can't relax, it's probably because you're humping her leg hassling her, trying to get her to agree to it.
Seek help for your urges or find another partner with a long term sex drive which matches yours.
She did have the same sex drive it was never a problem before how do you know what someone's sex drive will be 5/10 years into the future? If you've put it off for whatever reason, maybe just let it roll until the next week? If she can't relax, it's probably because you're humping her leg hassling her, trying to get her to agree to it.
Seek help for your urges or find another partner with a long term sex drive which matches yours.
I don't tantrum I'm the one who says lets just leave it till tomorrow.
It's OK saying put it off until next week but it impacts our whole homelife daily and future financial planning and housing plans, I think why should I put effort in if she doesn't for 30 mins a week. Like I said I find myself agreeing with her to do things even though I don't want just to not put her in a negative mood.
Edited by CraigNewmarket on Tuesday 21st November 17:03
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