365 days without booze... join me?

[swanseaboydan]

4 months sober for me after 37 years of fairly steady drinking - I did it by listening to the teetotal trail podcast ( Will Armstrong ) then joining his group - I couldn’t have done it without support - it worked for me.
I’m a changed man - give it a listen and see if it helps.

[HairyMaclary]

funinhounslow said:

For example a couple of years ago there was a spate of people on here buying new bikes. Spring’s just around the corner after all

I was one of those people

3 years of soberity paid for a KTM Super Adventure 1290. It's also continues to pay for amazing long weekends in Wales and the Highlands.

I think the best thing has been able to spend proper dad time with the kids. Doing fun stuff like climbing and scuba diving. Years ago I would plan the day around what pubs I could get to. Cringe!

One unexpected side affect has been my old man and brother in law going sober after seeing the benefits I had. So you never know who you'll influence for the better along the way. Anyone that takes the piss can get in the bin. I cut out loads of people who I thought had my back when I was drinking but all they were was drunk company.

1494 days Odaat

[funinhounslow]

HairyMaclary said:

funinhounslow said:

For example a couple of years ago there was a spate of people on here buying new bikes. Spring’s just around the corner after all

I was one of those people

3 years of soberity paid for a KTM Super Adventure 1290. It's also continues to pay for amazing long weekends in Wales and the Highlands.

I think the best thing has been able to spend proper dad time with the kids. Doing fun stuff like climbing and scuba diving. Years ago I would plan the day around what pubs I could get to. Cringe!

One unexpected side affect has been my old man and brother in law going sober after seeing the benefits I had. So you never know who you'll influence for the better along the way. Anyone that takes the piss can get in the bin. I cut out loads of people who I thought had my back when I was drinking but all they were was drunk company.

1494 days Odaat

I joined BSAC and learned to scuba after stopping drinking

I remember returning to Weymouth after a particularly pleasant day’s diving and looking at all the people who’d enjoyed an all day drinking session and thinking that would have been me a few years ago…

And despite me following Allen Carr’s advice not to bang on about how incredible sobriety is, two of my mates noted my positive experiences and also stopped!

[Joscal]

I started walking first and discovered a whole new world of country parks, then got an e-bike which was the best thing I’ve ever done.

Nothing better than being outdoors and the sense of achievement is irreplaceable once I finally got fit. I was obese and am actually reasonably fit now. My drinking days were work during the week then ruin weekends drinking with people who were only acquaintances as it turned out.

There’s a whole world out there!

Keep up the good work folks! There are zero negatives to not drinking, it just takes time and a few (maybe many!) wobbles but keep your eye on the prize.

[SpeedMattersNot]

Over 5 years now.

Good luck to everyone on their journey.

[Blib]

funinhounslow said:

I joined BSAC and learned to scuba after stopping drinking

I remember returning to Weymouth after a particularly pleasant day’s diving and looking at all the people who’d enjoyed an all day drinking session and thinking that would have been me a few years ago…

And despite me following Allen Carr’s advice not to bang on about how incredible sobriety is, two of my mates noted my positive experiences and also stopped!

In AA and the other Fellowships that's referred to as 'Attraction, rather than promotion'.

Just you being you, getting on with your life in a happier, more contented way, without drinking, can have a very powerful effect on those around you.

[paulguitar]

I tried to read the Alan Carr book and found him intolerable, so quit the book, rather than the beer!

I don't wish to quit drinking completely and have instead just made some adjustments. I have four alcohol-free days per week now, and don't go mad on the others.

I do get why some people quit completely, and I also see the appeal of that.

[funinhounslow]

An alternative to the Carr book is Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale - same message just written from a “younger” perspective - fewer anecdotes about the golf club annual knees up and more about going out on the lash with your mates

[Big Rod]

I almost folded on Friday night.

I trawled the local(ish) convenience stores to find some NA beer.

One had Guinness, (which I like but wasn't in the mood for), and my eyes drifted to the 'normal' beers. I almost picked up a pack of San Miguel telling myself that it wouldn't be such a heinous crime but relented and continued my search.

Finally found some Heineken in the 5th store so made my way home with four bottles.

So when I visited one of the larger supermarkets I stocked up on Peroni 0.0%.

I was a little dismayed when I asked in one of the shops if they had any and was offered gluten free Peroni.

I'm not planning on being teetotal but I'm pleased with myself that I stuck with the 'program' as I'm liking the side effects.

[JQ]

I had a rather strange trigger on Sat night. We'd finished a meal with some friends and were in a hurry as we were late for a gig. My wife had barely touched her bottle of beer and walked away from the table leaving 3/4 of it in the bottle. As soon as I spotted it my immediate thought was that I needed to finish it off, as I'd likely just paid £7 for it and it's what I'd normally do. I genuinely stopped to reach over and grab it, then realised what I was doing and that I don't drink anymore. All was fine but just caught me off guard slightly.

[Blib]

JQ said:

I had a rather strange trigger on Sat night. We'd finished a meal with some friends and were in a hurry as we were late for a gig. My wife had barely touched her bottle of beer and walked away from the table leaving 3/4 of it in the bottle. As soon as I spotted it my immediate thought was that I needed to finish it off, as I'd likely just paid £7 for it and it's what I'd normally do. I genuinely stopped to reach over and grab it, then realised what I was doing and that I don't drink anymore. All was fine but just caught me off guard slightly.

Well, if thoughts like that didn't cross your mind when faced with that situation then you wouldn't be on this thread!



You've learnt a handy lesson for the future there.

[othername]

Sebo said:

othername said:

Is there really any need for that? I've come here asking for advice because I want to get better and the one thing you pick out from that comment was to make a sarky remark that I should drink more to fit in with folks who seem to have worse problems than myself? I always thought this was one of those PH posts immune to this kind of thing as almost everyone seems supportive and understanding

Until you’re at your rock bottom I don’t expect you’ll stop or have the willingness to stop. That was my experience.

I’m very supportive, I don’t think it’s supportive to sign off on people’s BS.

Send me a PM and I’ll call you and talk

WTF? So you're doubling down on your daft comment? I've decided this is my rock bottom as I don't want to get any worse; if you'd actually read my comment properly that'd be apparent, as it seems to be to others. Don't tar me with your own experience, we're all different. And WTF are you on about "sign off on people’s BS."? I'm here for support and information, not to be told my comments are BS. Shame there's no mute button on PH

[Roderick Spode]

Set myself a challenge to complete dry January, which I managed. My bad habit is a glass or two of red wine when cooking, which then descends into a full bottle or maybe into a second, and if the second bottle is opened it seems a shame to risk wasting it... had a few evenings where I would have loved a glass of something, but crucially never felt like I needed one. Feel much better for it too, although weight loss hasn't really happened, but maybe it will.

Well done to anyone managing a dry 2024 so far.

[Big Rod]

Roderick Spode said:

Set myself a challenge to complete dry January, which I managed. My bad habit is a glass or two of red wine when cooking, which then descends into a full bottle or maybe into a second, and if the second bottle is opened it seems a shame to risk wasting it... had a few evenings where I would have loved a glass of something, but crucially never felt like I needed one. Feel much better for it too, although weight loss hasn't really happened, but maybe it will.

Well done to anyone managing a dry 2024 so far.

I hear ya.

Cooking was a surprising trigger of mine too.

[Sebo]

othername said:

Sebo said:

othername said:

Is there really any need for that? I've come here asking for advice because I want to get better and the one thing you pick out from that comment was to make a sarky remark that I should drink more to fit in with folks who seem to have worse problems than myself? I always thought this was one of those PH posts immune to this kind of thing as almost everyone seems supportive and understanding

Until you’re at your rock bottom I don’t expect you’ll stop or have the willingness to stop. That was my experience.

I’m very supportive, I don’t think it’s supportive to sign off on people’s BS.

Send me a PM and I’ll call you and talk

WTF? So you're doubling down on your daft comment? I've decided this is my rock bottom as I don't want to get any worse; if you'd actually read my comment properly that'd be apparent, as it seems to be to others. Don't tar me with your own experience, we're all different. And WTF are you on about "sign off on people’s BS."? I'm here for support and information, not to be told my comments are BS. Shame there's no mute button on PH

But all I have is my experience I am not tarring you with it. My experience was that I wanted to die and every time I came round from the blackout drinking, the crushing disappointment that I hadn't died was so demoralising. We're not talking about a park-bench drinker here (not that that would have been better or worse), a broadly successful (by the usual western society measures) human that:

a) Could not stop drinking once I started drinking
b) Could not stay stopped - whether it was a day, a week or a few months, I always ended up back drinking

It fking baffled me why any time I had a couple of pints, I was off and running. My mates said I had no off-switch, but it was more than that.

The abject terror I had when I wasn't drinking that at some point that week, I knew I would be unable to not pick up a drink and thus the carnage that I knew upon having a drink, would ensue combined with the exhilarating feeling and arousal I felt when I was about to get a drink into me was so powerful, I loved it. Honestly, it was fking horrific - believing that I could not live either with or without a drink, it was exhausting and I just wanted to die.

If the 8 week course you mentioned was useful in helping you stop for those 8 weeks or since, you don't need to be in the same state as the other people were in the room. Not knowing the group, but presumably to be able to join that group, it only required you to have a problem with alcohol and a wish to stop drinking?

[7 5 7]

2 months nearly done, going to stop counting now - can see this being for the foreseeable, don't miss it, far too many negatives then positives for me - the 0% stuff is pretty good.

Feeling great about myself, sleep, fitness, just my whole demeanor - never drank alot in the first place but it was getting abit habitual, so really positive for me so far.

I actually went out for a meal/drinks the other week, with Mrs 757 had a 0% IPA's and tonic waters, funny seeing literally everyone else staggering about after their drinks, talking st, just really doesn't interest me anymore.

I appreciate many people have a tougher time giving up, and I wish you all the best of course.

[othername]

Sebo said:

But all I have is my experience I am not tarring you with it. My experience was that I wanted to die and every time I came round from the blackout drinking, the crushing disappointment that I hadn't died was so demoralising. We're not talking about a park-bench drinker here (not that that would have been better or worse), a broadly successful (by the usual western society measures) human that:

a) Could not stop drinking once I started drinking
b) Could not stay stopped - whether it was a day, a week or a few months, I always ended up back drinking

It fking baffled me why any time I had a couple of pints, I was off and running. My mates said I had no off-switch, but it was more than that.

The abject terror I had when I wasn't drinking that at some point that week, I knew I would be unable to not pick up a drink and thus the carnage that I knew upon having a drink, would ensue combined with the exhilarating feeling and arousal I felt when I was about to get a drink into me was so powerful, I loved it. Honestly, it was fking horrific - believing that I could not live either with or without a drink, it was exhausting and I just wanted to die.

If the 8 week course you mentioned was useful in helping you stop for those 8 weeks or since, you don't need to be in the same state as the other people were in the room. Not knowing the group, but presumably to be able to join that group, it only required you to have a problem with alcohol and a wish to stop drinking?

Interesting you've ignored much of what I put it my post and no explanation about calling my post BS. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Your experience sounds very extreme and not in line with where I've been with it, so I really do think perhaps some of your opinions are swayed by your different experience. But that's to be expected. I do recognize some of what you wrote about looking forward to a drink, but my emotional response isn't on the same level.

'Qualification' for the course was indeed that you had a problem and wished to stop. Not everyone was what some would describe as 'a raging alcy', indeed some had abstained for significant periods whilst others were more in my camp of serial binging and then a fair proportion couldn't get through a day without a litre of vodka. I didn't stop during that time, nor were we told/expected to, the only caveat was not to be steaming drunk at a meeting or you'd be asked to leave - a good few folks did show up drunk (because they can't function without it) and had to leave never to be seen again. It didn't help much other than being able to share things that only people who like drink too much would understand, beyond that my drinking habits didn't change much. The 1-2-1 counselling at the same place lasted 6 sessions and again wasn't much help other than setting targets and trying to reach them, I didn't get anything in the way of practical tools/processes I could use to control my drinking. So the search continues. I'm in a good place right now but very wary of how I may be 1,2,5 weeks from now so I'm using my spare time to take in as much information as I can.

[Drew106]

Well I made through January alcohol free. Had a little G&T on Saturday 3rd. So 33 days AF in total. Not far off that of my longest break periods.

I've had a couple of drinks since. G&T x2 on the Sunday, 1 glass of Pinot last night.

January was a bit of a pivotal life changing month for me. My wife had a serious accident mid-month, with unexpected complications which has left her in hospital ever since. Leaving me the sole parent (for a yet undetermined period of time) to our 19 month old son. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a fecking brick to the face.

I'm glad I already had a bit of time alcohol free up to that point as it definitely wouldn't have helped. I can't see me being able to have a few too many for some time. Silver linings I guess!

[mooseracer]

othername said:

Interesting you've ignored much of what I put it my post and no explanation about calling my post BS. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Your experience sounds very extreme and not in line with where I've been with it, so I really do think perhaps some of your opinions are swayed by your different experience. But that's to be expected. I do recognize some of what you wrote about looking forward to a drink, but my emotional response isn't on the same level.

'Qualification' for the course was indeed that you had a problem and wished to stop. Not everyone was what some would describe as 'a raging alcy', indeed some had abstained for significant periods whilst others were more in my camp of serial binging and then a fair proportion couldn't get through a day without a litre of vodka. I didn't stop during that time, nor were we told/expected to, the only caveat was not to be steaming drunk at a meeting or you'd be asked to leave - a good few folks did show up drunk (because they can't function without it) and had to leave never to be seen again. It didn't help much other than being able to share things that only people who like drink too much would understand, beyond that my drinking habits didn't change much. The 1-2-1 counselling at the same place lasted 6 sessions and again wasn't much help other than setting targets and trying to reach them, I didn't get anything in the way of practical tools/processes I could use to control my drinking. So the search continues. I'm in a good place right now but very wary of how I may be 1,2,5 weeks from now so I'm using my spare time to take in as much information as I can.

Am I understanding it correctly that you can - and do - go reasonable periods of time not drinking to excess but then when you do pickup a drink you (to coin a phrase) don't have a stop button?

[Fullook]

Drew106 said:

January was a bit of a pivotal life changing month for me. My wife had a serious accident mid-month, with unexpected complications which has left her in hospital ever since. Leaving me the sole parent (for a yet undetermined period of time) to our 19 month old son. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a fecking brick to the face.

Truly sorry to hear that - sounds horrible for your wife and for you. Sounds like you're responding well to the challenge though - good luck and keep doing the right things!