That was a sh*t day!
Discussion
echo the above - Best wishes for your Son and your family,
When you are going through hell - keep going. - Winston Churchill.
Take each week, day, hour at a time. Little steps. You will need to lead your family and provide a sound foundation for them all.
PH is a great place to bounce your thoughts and we are all here to try and support and send positive thoughts as much as we can.
When you are going through hell - keep going. - Winston Churchill.
Take each week, day, hour at a time. Little steps. You will need to lead your family and provide a sound foundation for them all.
PH is a great place to bounce your thoughts and we are all here to try and support and send positive thoughts as much as we can.
Edited by superlightr on Wednesday 13th December 15:03
Nothing could have prepared me for the news my child has Hodgkin Lymphoma. Although we have been building up to this, I have maintained an inner belief that this was nothing more than a lump. Naïve? Probably - but I doubt any parent can prepare for the news your child has cancer. And nothing can prepare you for watching the bottom fall out of your childs world when they are trying to compute that information.
The doctor and specialist nurse were awesome though - and everything was pitched at the right level. He was very agitated - and as my Mrs said later - he was in effect grieving. Basically we have been told after Xmas, everything with halt for him - college needs to be put on the back burner so am going to see if they can hold his place for 12 months. Chemo for about six months, starting in the new year.
So say we are devastated is a bit of an understatement. But, he is strong and so down to earth he will take this in his stride and beat it.
I want to thank everyone for the words of support. It means so much, and with a communal love of cars, will tap into that regularly. (Even driving back today, having been through that news, he spotted a GT3 RS on the M27 and remarked how I owe him a quid!!).
Chris - the offer is amazing, thank you. He will love this, something to focus on outside of all this will be so important.
The doctor and specialist nurse were awesome though - and everything was pitched at the right level. He was very agitated - and as my Mrs said later - he was in effect grieving. Basically we have been told after Xmas, everything with halt for him - college needs to be put on the back burner so am going to see if they can hold his place for 12 months. Chemo for about six months, starting in the new year.
So say we are devastated is a bit of an understatement. But, he is strong and so down to earth he will take this in his stride and beat it.
I want to thank everyone for the words of support. It means so much, and with a communal love of cars, will tap into that regularly. (Even driving back today, having been through that news, he spotted a GT3 RS on the M27 and remarked how I owe him a quid!!).
Chris - the offer is amazing, thank you. He will love this, something to focus on outside of all this will be so important.
Matt, that is poor news and I'm sorry it wasn't something more innocent. You and your family were in my thoughts over the weekend and, like you, I was hoping for a better result.
The cancer is, I have read, one of the most treatable forms of cancer and that is something to keep focussed on.
I know you will all be going through hell at the moment - I have a boy the same age... this is miserable news and I really feel for you all. Resilience and being positive (whilst easy to say) are required, I know how easy I would find it to simply crumble - very tough.
I'm rambling.
I am not sure what possible help I could be, but if there's something, I'd do it.
Please keep this updated if you can, I know the PH team are an amazing bunch when the chips seem down.
The cancer is, I have read, one of the most treatable forms of cancer and that is something to keep focussed on.
I know you will all be going through hell at the moment - I have a boy the same age... this is miserable news and I really feel for you all. Resilience and being positive (whilst easy to say) are required, I know how easy I would find it to simply crumble - very tough.
I'm rambling.
I am not sure what possible help I could be, but if there's something, I'd do it.
Please keep this updated if you can, I know the PH team are an amazing bunch when the chips seem down.
[quote=mattyn1]Nothing could have prepared me for the news my child has Hodgkin Lymphoma. Although we have been building up to this, I have maintained an inner belief that this was nothing more than a lump. Naïve? Probably - but I doubt any parent can prepare for the news your child has cancer. And nothing can prepare you for watching the bottom fall out of your childs world when they are trying to compute that information.
The doctor and specialist nurse were awesome though - and everything was pitched at the right level. He was very agitated - and as my Mrs said later - he was in effect grieving. Basically we have been told after Xmas, everything with halt for him - college needs to be put on the back burner so am going to see if they can hold his place for 12 months. Chemo for about six months, starting in the new year.
So say we are devastated is a bit of an understatement. But, he is strong and so down to earth he will take this in his stride and beat it.
I want to thank everyone for the words of support. It means so much, and with a communal love of cars, will tap into that regularly. (Even driving back today, having been through that news, he spotted a GT3 RS on the M27 and remarked how I owe him a quid!!).
Chris - the offer is amazing, thank you. He will love this, something to focus on outside of all this will be so important.[/quote
This bit between the diagnosis and the start of treatment I would imagine will be challenging as I’m sure you would prefer just to get on with the treatment. There decision to wait until after Xmas to start treatment shows at some level that they are confident that this delay won’t be detrimental to the treatment protocol.
All the other stuff like college can be re scheduled as most colleges are simperthetic to such circumstances.
The doctor and specialist nurse were awesome though - and everything was pitched at the right level. He was very agitated - and as my Mrs said later - he was in effect grieving. Basically we have been told after Xmas, everything with halt for him - college needs to be put on the back burner so am going to see if they can hold his place for 12 months. Chemo for about six months, starting in the new year.
So say we are devastated is a bit of an understatement. But, he is strong and so down to earth he will take this in his stride and beat it.
I want to thank everyone for the words of support. It means so much, and with a communal love of cars, will tap into that regularly. (Even driving back today, having been through that news, he spotted a GT3 RS on the M27 and remarked how I owe him a quid!!).
Chris - the offer is amazing, thank you. He will love this, something to focus on outside of all this will be so important.[/quote
This bit between the diagnosis and the start of treatment I would imagine will be challenging as I’m sure you would prefer just to get on with the treatment. There decision to wait until after Xmas to start treatment shows at some level that they are confident that this delay won’t be detrimental to the treatment protocol.
All the other stuff like college can be re scheduled as most colleges are simperthetic to such circumstances.
Like many on this thread, I have a son of similar age and you are both in my thoughts; he is lucky to have so many people around him, including you.
I’ve had far too much experience of cancer in the last 2 years, but the treatments are very effective and become almost routine. It is the emotional side that can be difficult, so do keep talking to him.
I’ve had far too much experience of cancer in the last 2 years, but the treatments are very effective and become almost routine. It is the emotional side that can be difficult, so do keep talking to him.
Really sorry to hear this, s
tty news. You're going to go through some pretty grim times in the next few months. All I can say is stay focused on the outcome. Be positive and strong for your son but find an outlet, be it posting in here or pulling the car over and bawling your eyes out for ten minutes if needs be.
Focus on having a good Christmas and getting stuck into the treatment in the new year. All the best.
tty news. You're going to go through some pretty grim times in the next few months. All I can say is stay focused on the outcome. Be positive and strong for your son but find an outlet, be it posting in here or pulling the car over and bawling your eyes out for ten minutes if needs be.Focus on having a good Christmas and getting stuck into the treatment in the new year. All the best.
Not the news you were hoping for. Sorry to hear this.
It will be difficult, but perhaps don't try and find any answers on Google as you are fully aware you tend to focus too much on the worst aspect of any given conditions.
Use the consultants and medical team for advice and support. Use PH and friends and family to have a moan. But most importantly, be the support that your family need.
It will be difficult, but perhaps don't try and find any answers on Google as you are fully aware you tend to focus too much on the worst aspect of any given conditions.
Use the consultants and medical team for advice and support. Use PH and friends and family to have a moan. But most importantly, be the support that your family need.
I will say again a big thank you for all the messages wishing us well. Jack ate dinner ok tonight, but has withdrawn to his room for the evening. I want to get him out, let him know we are there to support him and not to face this alone, but also know he needs to process this properly now. He is going to college tomorrow to keep normal - I am going in to see them to make sure they keep his place open for when he returns.
For me, I am ok when I am with others. However when left alone I feel pretty broken. Helpless. I know its an old saying but if I could swap places I would. Any father would. When we see our kids struggling we interject and assist, even take over. Except I can't with this.
I will be strong though - not just for him, but my wife, my other two children and even my ex wife - his mum.
My daughter is devastated - she is only 10 and sees cancer as death - and is pretty difficult to convince otherwise. If I am truly honest, death has not entered my mind until she said it - I see this as fully recoverable and curable. The pain for me is knowing only too well the pain he is going to go through in the next few months. The thing is, he is not ill - well not visibly anyway - he has no visible symptoms apart from the lump.
Luckily we have time to process this properly and set up the best treatment regime for him. We even talked about the dangers to fertility today - he was typically 16 and embarrassed when we talked about storing his "stuff"!!
My wife has been amazing today. Supportive enough, not too much - recognising when I wanted to be alone. She is a nurse so knows about this sort of stuff and is ready to guide us. She has a great relationship with Jack - but understandably he wants his mum. His mum wants him too, obviously. I want him to document his feelings in some kind of journal but he is reluctant at present.
Tomorrow is the start in beating this fker. I hope we wake fresh and determined - focussed to tackle what lies ahead. Which incidentally will start by telling other family at the weekend.
In answer to the Q about the M27 - we were at Portsmouth QA Hospital.
For me, I am ok when I am with others. However when left alone I feel pretty broken. Helpless. I know its an old saying but if I could swap places I would. Any father would. When we see our kids struggling we interject and assist, even take over. Except I can't with this.
I will be strong though - not just for him, but my wife, my other two children and even my ex wife - his mum.
My daughter is devastated - she is only 10 and sees cancer as death - and is pretty difficult to convince otherwise. If I am truly honest, death has not entered my mind until she said it - I see this as fully recoverable and curable. The pain for me is knowing only too well the pain he is going to go through in the next few months. The thing is, he is not ill - well not visibly anyway - he has no visible symptoms apart from the lump.
Luckily we have time to process this properly and set up the best treatment regime for him. We even talked about the dangers to fertility today - he was typically 16 and embarrassed when we talked about storing his "stuff"!!
My wife has been amazing today. Supportive enough, not too much - recognising when I wanted to be alone. She is a nurse so knows about this sort of stuff and is ready to guide us. She has a great relationship with Jack - but understandably he wants his mum. His mum wants him too, obviously. I want him to document his feelings in some kind of journal but he is reluctant at present.
Tomorrow is the start in beating this f
ker. I hope we wake fresh and determined - focussed to tackle what lies ahead. Which incidentally will start by telling other family at the weekend.In answer to the Q about the M27 - we were at Portsmouth QA Hospital.
That's stty news, all the best to him
On the positive my GF's uncle had it last year at 50, to such an extent he required marrow transplants on top of the radio and chemo.
Not going to lie he looked really rough for he year he was going through it but in far worse physical condition vs your son, older, and with a more developed illness he's now 90% recovered. Stay strong
tty news, all the best to himOn the positive my GF's uncle had it last year at 50, to such an extent he required marrow transplants on top of the radio and chemo.
Not going to lie he looked really rough for he year he was going through it but in far worse physical condition vs your son, older, and with a more developed illness he's now 90% recovered. Stay strong
I had a really good planning day yesterday. College seem to be doing the right thing, in assuring us they will keep Jack as fully engaged over the next few months as he wants to be. We have been advised by the Med staff that continuing college is probably not a good idea .... performance will drop off because of the chemo ..... and therefore will not be doing himself justice especially as it is such a fun and exciting course. Hopefully he will be ok to go to the Autosport Show at the NEC in January.
Also we are visiting Southampton Young Adult Centre on Monday, and seeing the senior Lymphoma consultant .... this will get the prelims done ready for when Jack starts the chemo. Whether that is before or after Xmas is still being discussed. It might be late next week.... only because they can, not because they need to, which was reassuring also.
Jack is quite down, and full in the midst of processing all this. He is withdrawn again understandably, and I am giving him space. I know teenagers don’t talk much anyway but I really wish he would open up more. Trying to reach the balance of involving him and organising him is proving difficult. I think the plan this weekend is to avoid too much discussion about it all, unless he instigates.
I have told him about VMax though and the kind offer from Chris. I don’t think he quite believes what is being offered..... we will watch Grand Tour together tonight and hopefully that will spark conversation about it. I have to say, looking at the videos on the VMax website it looks rather fun!
Thanks again for the support guys. I am pleased to report this works for me. Also, I feel able to discuss with the wife more, and even had a productive conversation with the ex wife yesterday too. This is helping my perspective hugely.
Also we are visiting Southampton Young Adult Centre on Monday, and seeing the senior Lymphoma consultant .... this will get the prelims done ready for when Jack starts the chemo. Whether that is before or after Xmas is still being discussed. It might be late next week.... only because they can, not because they need to, which was reassuring also.
Jack is quite down, and full in the midst of processing all this. He is withdrawn again understandably, and I am giving him space. I know teenagers don’t talk much anyway but I really wish he would open up more. Trying to reach the balance of involving him and organising him is proving difficult. I think the plan this weekend is to avoid too much discussion about it all, unless he instigates.
I have told him about VMax though and the kind offer from Chris. I don’t think he quite believes what is being offered..... we will watch Grand Tour together tonight and hopefully that will spark conversation about it. I have to say, looking at the videos on the VMax website it looks rather fun!
Thanks again for the support guys. I am pleased to report this works for me. Also, I feel able to discuss with the wife more, and even had a productive conversation with the ex wife yesterday too. This is helping my perspective hugely.
mattyn1 said:
I had a really good planning day yesterday. College seem to be doing the right thing, in assuring us they will keep Jack as fully engaged over the next few months as he wants to be. We have been advised by the Med staff that continuing college is probably not a good idea .... performance will drop off because of the chemo ..... and therefore will not be doing himself justice especially as it is such a fun and exciting course. Hopefully he will be ok to go to the Autosport Show at the NEC in January.
Also we are visiting Southampton Young Adult Centre on Monday, and seeing the senior Lymphoma consultant .... this will get the prelims done ready for when Jack starts the chemo. Whether that is before or after Xmas is still being discussed. It might be late next week.... only because they can, not because they need to, which was reassuring also.
Jack is quite down, and full in the midst of processing all this. He is withdrawn again understandably, and I am giving him space. I know teenagers don’t talk much anyway but I really wish he would open up more. Trying to reach the balance of involving him and organising him is proving difficult. I think the plan this weekend is to avoid too much discussion about it all, unless he instigates.
I have told him about VMax though and the kind offer from Chris. I don’t think he quite believes what is being offered..... we will watch Grand Tour together tonight and hopefully that will spark conversation about it. I have to say, looking at the videos on the VMax website it looks rather fun!
Thanks again for the support guys. I am pleased to report this works for me. Also, I feel able to discuss with the wife more, and even had a productive conversation with the ex wife yesterday too. This is helping my perspective hugely.
Its understandable but your all still in the process phase, as men we try to get on with things, organise and fix as a way of avoiding the emotion that comes with this situation. Your son at some level will be aware of the multiple losses that he faces, starting college with his peer group, his independence, his autonomy and many more. Just gently remind him your available to him when he's ready to talk about some of these issues. Also we are visiting Southampton Young Adult Centre on Monday, and seeing the senior Lymphoma consultant .... this will get the prelims done ready for when Jack starts the chemo. Whether that is before or after Xmas is still being discussed. It might be late next week.... only because they can, not because they need to, which was reassuring also.
Jack is quite down, and full in the midst of processing all this. He is withdrawn again understandably, and I am giving him space. I know teenagers don’t talk much anyway but I really wish he would open up more. Trying to reach the balance of involving him and organising him is proving difficult. I think the plan this weekend is to avoid too much discussion about it all, unless he instigates.
I have told him about VMax though and the kind offer from Chris. I don’t think he quite believes what is being offered..... we will watch Grand Tour together tonight and hopefully that will spark conversation about it. I have to say, looking at the videos on the VMax website it looks rather fun!
Thanks again for the support guys. I am pleased to report this works for me. Also, I feel able to discuss with the wife more, and even had a productive conversation with the ex wife yesterday too. This is helping my perspective hugely.
Here goes, not mentioned this on here before...
June 2016, I was diagnosed with Burkitt’s Leukaemia, but after 2 weeks, they decided to treat me as if I had Burkitt’s lymphoma.
I have to add this is a non Hodgkin’s, and I don’t know the difference, as I never did any research, I’m not sure research is your friend... it’s now 10 times as bad as when your nan used to get the book out!
I asked the M27 question as I’m Southampton, and was in the General, it’s just over a mile from my house, and their lymphomia team is the best in the country (what a lucky fker I am). I was an inpatient, do you know wether your son will be admitted at all? I was in for 3 months... it flew by!
Treatment wise, they hit me as hard as they hit anybody with lymphomia, I didn’t find it over invasive, other than picking up a bug or 2, and ending up in intensive care. Don’t be too alarmed about that, as it’s quite routine to transfer patients on chemo to ICU!
You’re main enemy though, is anxiety, if you can keep your son on top of that, you’ll be fine! Easier said than done, I know.
Has your son... or yourself shared this on FB? You should, the love and support will be immeasurable, and another tool to help you through. As will some physical strength, is he fit, try to keep him exercising, I used to walk up and down the stairs in hospital... I used to go out for 2 mike walks... but shhhhh
I’m going to be honest with you, and blow my own trumpet... I went through it like superman, I had every belief in myself, and the team treating me, I just got on with it (be enthusiastic about starting the treatment, it’s not a hurdle, it’s a cure!) my dad would come in in the early days, and say something like “let’s hope they can do something for you” or “you’re in the right place”... “shut up talking like that dad, I’ll be ok!”!
I’ve been clear for over a year now.
I actually look on it a positive experience, an achievement!
Just get yourselfs positive, and kick it’s fking arse!
My weirdest experience? Doing triangular sts for a week or so
June 2016, I was diagnosed with Burkitt’s Leukaemia, but after 2 weeks, they decided to treat me as if I had Burkitt’s lymphoma.
I have to add this is a non Hodgkin’s, and I don’t know the difference, as I never did any research, I’m not sure research is your friend... it’s now 10 times as bad as when your nan used to get the book out!
I asked the M27 question as I’m Southampton, and was in the General, it’s just over a mile from my house, and their lymphomia team is the best in the country (what a lucky f
ker I am). I was an inpatient, do you know wether your son will be admitted at all? I was in for 3 months... it flew by!Treatment wise, they hit me as hard as they hit anybody with lymphomia, I didn’t find it over invasive, other than picking up a bug or 2, and ending up in intensive care. Don’t be too alarmed about that, as it’s quite routine to transfer patients on chemo to ICU!
You’re main enemy though, is anxiety, if you can keep your son on top of that, you’ll be fine! Easier said than done, I know.
Has your son... or yourself shared this on FB? You should, the love and support will be immeasurable, and another tool to help you through. As will some physical strength, is he fit, try to keep him exercising, I used to walk up and down the stairs in hospital... I used to go out for 2 mike walks... but shhhhh
I’m going to be honest with you, and blow my own trumpet... I went through it like superman, I had every belief in myself, and the team treating me, I just got on with it (be enthusiastic about starting the treatment, it’s not a hurdle, it’s a cure!) my dad would come in in the early days, and say something like “let’s hope they can do something for you” or “you’re in the right place”... “shut up talking like that dad, I’ll be ok!”!
I’ve been clear for over a year now.
I actually look on it a positive experience, an achievement!
Just get yourselfs positive, and kick it’s f
king arse!My weirdest experience? Doing triangular s
ts for a week or so Hi all.
Apologies for breaking off comms for a few days but things have progressed quite quickly. We are currently in Southampton Genera in the TYA. Chemo starts this afternoon .... Jack is still the most positive and focussed person I have ever met... determined fully to just get this done as quickly as possible.
The nurse arrived ten minutes ago to fit the first cannular ready for the treatment.... and all of a sudden I broke down.... completely unexpected asmspirits so far have been positive and high. I guess the enormity of it all and sudden realisation of the reality..... I feel a bit of a tt not keeping not together but Christ this is hard enough for me...... for Jack it must be unbearable.
All family told at the weekend, and that went better than expected. My sister was obviously devastated and Jack has now received a barrage of texts and messages wishing him well.
Anyway we start today on the six month road.....
Apologies for breaking off comms for a few days but things have progressed quite quickly. We are currently in Southampton Genera in the TYA. Chemo starts this afternoon .... Jack is still the most positive and focussed person I have ever met... determined fully to just get this done as quickly as possible.
The nurse arrived ten minutes ago to fit the first cannular ready for the treatment.... and all of a sudden I broke down.... completely unexpected asmspirits so far have been positive and high. I guess the enormity of it all and sudden realisation of the reality..... I feel a bit of a t
t not keeping not together but Christ this is hard enough for me...... for Jack it must be unbearable.All family told at the weekend, and that went better than expected. My sister was obviously devastated and Jack has now received a barrage of texts and messages wishing him well.
Anyway we start today on the six month road.....
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