Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
Sorry for your father, and your loss, K77. Sadly although I am over 20 years younger than your dad, 9 months ago I found myself in the same position of your father. It's a slow journey, relearning skills to run a household that I haven't had to use in over 30 years.
I found myself conflicted, wanting space but desiring support. Hopefully you'll find a way to give him everything he needs. Don't forget to make room for your own needs. Not going to tell you it will be easy, but you'll find a way.
I found myself conflicted, wanting space but desiring support. Hopefully you'll find a way to give him everything he needs. Don't forget to make room for your own needs. Not going to tell you it will be easy, but you'll find a way.
K77 CTR said:
K77 CTR said:
K77 CTR said:
Never expected to be posting on here but feeling so down over the last few days. Mum has ended up in hospital this week after collapsing. A CT scan has shown lesions in adrenal glands, thyroid, lung and a couple of other places. She had breast cancer last year which she had a mastectomy for and showed no spread to the lymph nodes.
She hasn't been given a diagnosis currently and just told lesions in a few places. Being medical I asked the doctor to see the CT report and now wish I hadn't. I haven't told my parents I've read it as cant face breaking them.
How do people cope with seeing their loved ones go through this. My dad is 80 years old and not doing too well himself.
Four weeks since mum ended up in hospital and got the diagnosis and now shes in a hospice and been given weeks to live. I'm exhausted trying to work, be there for mum and dad. Dad is broken and just about holding it together. Its horrible watching my mum declining day by day. She's hardly eating or drinking, has no strength and on huge amounts of morphine. My poor mum She hasn't been given a diagnosis currently and just told lesions in a few places. Being medical I asked the doctor to see the CT report and now wish I hadn't. I haven't told my parents I've read it as cant face breaking them.
How do people cope with seeing their loved ones go through this. My dad is 80 years old and not doing too well himself.
We're unfortunately dealing with secondary cancer with my Dad after prostate cancer 4 years ago and it's never cleared; he's had biopsies carried out yesterday due to some 'unknowns' on recent scans...
It's hit my Mum & Dad hard; Dad 'takes it in his stride' but you can see it's set him back and thats hard to watch; more so my Mum as she's trying to put a brave face on but it's very difficult
I really hope you can give all the support you can to your Dad; but to yourself also
Go in 1 st may for the tumour to be removed from my kidney , I’ve been ok with prostrate cancer / heart issues but not so settled with this , I think the fact I keep getting big cuddles off everyone , best wishes from nurses , consultants etc has got me over thinking it , it seems like the last rites , got me thinking this is not going to be as easy as I think , recovery time etc .
Then I’ve done something I’ve not done with any of the other illnesses, started reading up about it , and to be told I won’t be able to drive for 4/6 weeks , work for 2/3 months after driving for 47 yrs continuously, worked for 50 yrs is hard to take , get your head around
But it has to be done & hopefully it’s a good outcome, and then a few normal years rather than last 4 yrs of what seems like constant hospital / clinic etc visits , but I’ve no doubt something else will turn up .
Then I’ve done something I’ve not done with any of the other illnesses, started reading up about it , and to be told I won’t be able to drive for 4/6 weeks , work for 2/3 months after driving for 47 yrs continuously, worked for 50 yrs is hard to take , get your head around
But it has to be done & hopefully it’s a good outcome, and then a few normal years rather than last 4 yrs of what seems like constant hospital / clinic etc visits , but I’ve no doubt something else will turn up .
K77 CTR said:
Five weeks to the day that mum was admitted to hospital and we've had to say our goodbyes. She was diagnosed with disseminated cancer and unknown primary. She seemed well up until about 8 weeks ago and now she's gone. Massive shock to all of us and so horrible to watch her go through it. Now need to be there to support my 80 year old dad learn how to live a life without the strength of my mum. He's never had to run a house and no idea how to cook. Cancer can go f**k itself as its destroyed me today.
Sorry to read of your loss. Seems your mum had an agressive form like my wife.
The hospital have f
ked up the biopsy results , they came back negative. It’s debatable whether radiotherapy has worked and they’re swaying away from any further mri’s or biopsies as she’s having a rough time of it. Starts another cancer drug this week to fight what they now are presuming is secondary , months wasted in my view if this is what they have decided after all this time. K77 CTR said:
Five weeks to the day that mum was admitted to hospital and we've had to say our goodbyes. She was diagnosed with disseminated cancer and unknown primary. She seemed well up until about 8 weeks ago and now she's gone. Massive shock to all of us and so horrible to watch her go through it. Now need to be there to support my 80 year old dad learn how to live a life without the strength of my mum. He's never had to run a house and no idea how to cook. Cancer can go f**k itself as its destroyed me today.
Just brutal to read, thoughts very much with you and your DadVery sorry to hear of the updates recently, I hope things are improving for everyone as much as they can do.
It feels wrong to post positive news but it may help others in a similar situation to myself. Following a testicular cancer diagnosis in May 2022 I had the results of my 2 year MRI, X-ray and tumor markers yesterday and everything was clear, a huge relief, the anxiety leading up to this milestone was awful.
Best wishes to everyone affected in anyway by this horrible disease.
It feels wrong to post positive news but it may help others in a similar situation to myself. Following a testicular cancer diagnosis in May 2022 I had the results of my 2 year MRI, X-ray and tumor markers yesterday and everything was clear, a huge relief, the anxiety leading up to this milestone was awful.
Best wishes to everyone affected in anyway by this horrible disease.
Hodgie said:
Very sorry to hear of the updates recently, I hope things are improving for everyone as much as they can do.
It feels wrong to post positive news but it may help others in a similar situation to myself. Following a testicular cancer diagnosis in May 2022 I had the results of my 2 year MRI, X-ray and tumor markers yesterday and everything was clear, a huge relief, the anxiety leading up to this milestone was awful.
Best wishes to everyone affected in anyway by this horrible disease.
amongst all the sIt feels wrong to post positive news but it may help others in a similar situation to myself. Following a testicular cancer diagnosis in May 2022 I had the results of my 2 year MRI, X-ray and tumor markers yesterday and everything was clear, a huge relief, the anxiety leading up to this milestone was awful.
Best wishes to everyone affected in anyway by this horrible disease.
t (condolences to K77 and others), this is great news. Brilliant.
I come from a family where almost every one gets it on both sides. The difference is that my father's side gets in their eighties and my mother's side much earlier. My mother got it at 49 and died at 52, aunt at 55, Uncle at 68. On my father's side, three aunts and my father from 82 to 85 or so.
I am ok for now ( and am 75) but in general will not be astonished by such a diagnosis.
I have seen a great deal of it in my life and it is indeed a dreadful thing. Yet, I have known people who have either recovered or lived for decades in reasonable independence. I no longer see it as a death sentence like many years ago as treatments and outcomes have improved for many kinds of cancer.
I now have many friends with cancer diagnoses and they are plugging right along. When you get into your seventies its not just cancer but heart disease, diabetes,circulatory problems and lots of other stuff that starts to show up. I asked my doctor how many of his patients over seventy were on some kind of medication. "All of them", he replied
I wish everyone the very best for their recoveries.
I am ok for now ( and am 75) but in general will not be astonished by such a diagnosis.
I have seen a great deal of it in my life and it is indeed a dreadful thing. Yet, I have known people who have either recovered or lived for decades in reasonable independence. I no longer see it as a death sentence like many years ago as treatments and outcomes have improved for many kinds of cancer.
I now have many friends with cancer diagnoses and they are plugging right along. When you get into your seventies its not just cancer but heart disease, diabetes,circulatory problems and lots of other stuff that starts to show up. I asked my doctor how many of his patients over seventy were on some kind of medication. "All of them", he replied
I wish everyone the very best for their recoveries.
Thank you for all the posts sending thoughts and condolences. To you it might just be a post but to me it was nice to know there was support for me and what we were going through.
Dad has really struggled with the pressure of making decisions around the funeral and has caused some frustrations but we are trying our hardest to just let these issues go without reactions. Mum's funeral is on Monday and then I hope Dad may be able to relax a little bit.
I am really sorry to hear of others going through similar situations but also pleased to read the more positive posts. Thank you again for letting this be a place to use as an outlet, to gain support and without judgement.
Dad has really struggled with the pressure of making decisions around the funeral and has caused some frustrations but we are trying our hardest to just let these issues go without reactions. Mum's funeral is on Monday and then I hope Dad may be able to relax a little bit.
I am really sorry to hear of others going through similar situations but also pleased to read the more positive posts. Thank you again for letting this be a place to use as an outlet, to gain support and without judgement.
I’d just like to give a shout out for older women / nurses / retired nurses , 3 weeks on from op to remove tumour I’ve struggled , tried to get out & about but at times a bit much for me , the amount of old ladies , nurses / some retired who’ve come to check on me / give advice & a cuddle / two chocked me a bit , not the best with words but thanks to them all
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff