Dealing with an alcoholic. – Grandma.
Discussion
Hello. I’m now looking to PH for help as the information I’m getting from my local GP is not helping.
The story goes; it has recently come to light that my grandma likes one too many whiskies per day.
She has been drinking for possibly years but this has always been covered up by my Granddad, who has recently passed away. He obviously dealt with a great deal before being diagnosed with cancer (whether it was helped on by this stress we’ll never know) possibly including some domestic abuse.
Since he passed away, the family has spent a lot of time looking after her when we can, outside of work hours. We often turn up after work to her lying on the floor, left the cooker, doors opened but no one in, or just unwashed for multiple days.
It is becoming more dangerous and she is a danger to herself.
We have been close to the family doctor particularly during my granddads final weeks but they are well aware of my grandma’s issues too.
All they suggest is that she needs more looking after which is a struggle as all nearby family work full time. We cannot look after her 24 hours a day, which is what I feel she needs right now.
She is quite capable of walking down to the local shops and buying 2 bottles of whisky each morning.
I’m trying to research any organisations that can help? Rehab, AA, care homes etc… Surely there is some health organisation which can help with this but I just cannot find the information.
All of what I read or I’m told is that she can only get help from somewhere if she agree’s to it. There is very little chance of this happening. She thinks there is no problem but cannot remember a thing when sober.
Thank you for reading and any help.
The story goes; it has recently come to light that my grandma likes one too many whiskies per day.
She has been drinking for possibly years but this has always been covered up by my Granddad, who has recently passed away. He obviously dealt with a great deal before being diagnosed with cancer (whether it was helped on by this stress we’ll never know) possibly including some domestic abuse.
Since he passed away, the family has spent a lot of time looking after her when we can, outside of work hours. We often turn up after work to her lying on the floor, left the cooker, doors opened but no one in, or just unwashed for multiple days.
It is becoming more dangerous and she is a danger to herself.
We have been close to the family doctor particularly during my granddads final weeks but they are well aware of my grandma’s issues too.
All they suggest is that she needs more looking after which is a struggle as all nearby family work full time. We cannot look after her 24 hours a day, which is what I feel she needs right now.
She is quite capable of walking down to the local shops and buying 2 bottles of whisky each morning.
I’m trying to research any organisations that can help? Rehab, AA, care homes etc… Surely there is some health organisation which can help with this but I just cannot find the information.
All of what I read or I’m told is that she can only get help from somewhere if she agree’s to it. There is very little chance of this happening. She thinks there is no problem but cannot remember a thing when sober.
Thank you for reading and any help.
Thanks for the replies. Much appreciated. I've heard about these tablets and will follow this up but whether she'll take them is another question
I agree that she will get more help when she recognises the problem and wants help.
However she is not at that stage yet and I'm not too sure she will ever be before it kills her off.
As it stands - there is an elderly lady who is living on her own, very quickly shortening her lifespan, drinking more in a day than most of us could in a week, is an absolutely danger to herself and a nuesence to the local GP and her neighbours.
Yet - it appears there is no help she\we can get until something bad happens or she accepts the problem...
I agree that she will get more help when she recognises the problem and wants help.
However she is not at that stage yet and I'm not too sure she will ever be before it kills her off.
As it stands - there is an elderly lady who is living on her own, very quickly shortening her lifespan, drinking more in a day than most of us could in a week, is an absolutely danger to herself and a nuesence to the local GP and her neighbours.
Yet - it appears there is no help she\we can get until something bad happens or she accepts the problem...
Benjurs said:
This won't work...they won't perform any mental health assesment whilst the person is under the influence of booze or drugs...nor will they attend if you tell them that the person is drunk...and they (Mental Health team)sometimes carry breathalisers on them to determine this...
As I've previously stated she needs to get sober first....
Sorry to be harsh but that's the long and the short of it...
Harsh and hard to belive but greatful for you input.As I've previously stated she needs to get sober first....
Sorry to be harsh but that's the long and the short of it...
She's 74, mentally fine and when she has a dry spell she is relatively fit and capable. After days of drinking she quickly becomes frail and struggles to walk without help.
I'd have said its probably worse due to bereavement but it was a lesser problem before losing her husband. I personally feel she thinks theres nothing left to live for now and this passes the time. She's quite happy to talk about funeral plans and after she has gone!!
We've thought about "if it makes her happy leave her be"... but it is putting much strain on doctors, neighbours and family.
Adult social services is something I'll ask about.
I'd have said its probably worse due to bereavement but it was a lesser problem before losing her husband. I personally feel she thinks theres nothing left to live for now and this passes the time. She's quite happy to talk about funeral plans and after she has gone!!
We've thought about "if it makes her happy leave her be"... but it is putting much strain on doctors, neighbours and family.
Adult social services is something I'll ask about.
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