DIY Mechanics Fail Stories
Discussion
I got my hands on an old Renault 5 many moons ago, was sat in this old ladies front garden for a couple of years and she was happy to let me just take it away!
For a car that had been sat on grass, apart from needing new brakes all it wanted was a hole in the floor patching up. I'd lent my mig welder to a mate (the sort that never wants to give stuff back) so decided to braze a patch on instead. Rather than pull out all the carpets, i put a lunchbox between the floor and carpet to move it out of the way and got to work underneath. Wasn't long before the obvious happened, the lunchbox liquified due to heat and the carpet ended up back where it was and caught fire.
To top it all off, after sorting out the small fire and finishing off what i started, i got an itch on my ear. Instinctively i went to scratch the itch with the business end of the brazing rod and gave myself an unwanted piercing - no pain, just a noise like putting a match out in water and it went straight through the top of my ear.
For a car that had been sat on grass, apart from needing new brakes all it wanted was a hole in the floor patching up. I'd lent my mig welder to a mate (the sort that never wants to give stuff back) so decided to braze a patch on instead. Rather than pull out all the carpets, i put a lunchbox between the floor and carpet to move it out of the way and got to work underneath. Wasn't long before the obvious happened, the lunchbox liquified due to heat and the carpet ended up back where it was and caught fire.
To top it all off, after sorting out the small fire and finishing off what i started, i got an itch on my ear. Instinctively i went to scratch the itch with the business end of the brazing rod and gave myself an unwanted piercing - no pain, just a noise like putting a match out in water and it went straight through the top of my ear.
zedx19 said:
Weekend just gone, servicing the mrs 2004 Focus 1.6, dreaded drop links which everytime I try and change always end up rounding off the allen key. Done this so many times on my GTI-6 and the Focus suspension is near identical, so thought I'd get a decent socket attachement allen key. All was going well, until the bloody nut rounded off. Half hour of angle grinding the fook out the nut sorted it, not really a blunder, but bloody annoying! Why do they make drop links so damn hard to remove??
I've just swapped the front subframe (rust holes!) on my Dad's Focus, which obviously included undoing the ARB droplinks. They're the same as my Mk4 Astra, they have flats on the back of the tapered bits for a 17mm spanner!thepaintist said:
I spent an entire YEAR, sourcing parts and rebuilding the engine on my Renault vel satis, that had destroyed the big ends at only 75000 miles.
Job finally complete and it just would not start.
It took a further 3 weeks to discover that I had forgotten to connect the earth for the ecu...
I had a similar one with an Esc Cosworth I had in storage in a mates garage for a few months and it wouldn't start when it was going back on the road causing a few puzzled faces.......forgot I had taken the ECU away to prevent it being started & stolen !Job finally complete and it just would not start.
It took a further 3 weeks to discover that I had forgotten to connect the earth for the ecu...
This topic has really made me laugh and made me feel slightly better that I'm not alone with silly mistakes. I once had a colleague (I worked at a dealership) do some work on my 172 and he didn't tighten the front wheel nuts properly. When I did take it back and give him stick for the noise it was making he tightened them so much that next time I went to take the wheels off I twisted the end of the wrench off while standing on it.
I was once changing the N/S drive shaft on my ST as the boot had split causing dirt and a lack of grease to chew the tripod bearing up. The problem I had was the inner part of the shaft that was in the gearbox wouldn't come loose. Resulting to brute force both my brother and I had all our weight on it trying to lever it out and when it eventually let go he hit the floor (no big deal) and I head butted the inside of the wheel arch and got the track rod end pretty much in the eye. Had a near 2 inch cut under my eye for weeks, that hurt.
I also had to resort to cutting a top mount off my brother's 182 when I was fitting coilovers as the allen key rounded the top of it and no other remedy I could come up with worked. Out came the angle grinder and after cutting through a section that I just needed to push out the way didn't wait for it to cool. As I touched it, it burnt straight through the gloves I was wearing and the sizzle of my thumb didn't sound nice and hurt plenty, cue plenty of swearing.
I was once changing the N/S drive shaft on my ST as the boot had split causing dirt and a lack of grease to chew the tripod bearing up. The problem I had was the inner part of the shaft that was in the gearbox wouldn't come loose. Resulting to brute force both my brother and I had all our weight on it trying to lever it out and when it eventually let go he hit the floor (no big deal) and I head butted the inside of the wheel arch and got the track rod end pretty much in the eye. Had a near 2 inch cut under my eye for weeks, that hurt.
I also had to resort to cutting a top mount off my brother's 182 when I was fitting coilovers as the allen key rounded the top of it and no other remedy I could come up with worked. Out came the angle grinder and after cutting through a section that I just needed to push out the way didn't wait for it to cool. As I touched it, it burnt straight through the gloves I was wearing and the sizzle of my thumb didn't sound nice and hurt plenty, cue plenty of swearing.
Bitofbully said:
Howard- said:
CDP said:
My dad had to replace the steering box on his '64 VW camper.
The suppliers had given him a LHD unit by mistake.
It fitted but turning the wheel left made the van go right....
LOL I missed this The suppliers had given him a LHD unit by mistake.
It fitted but turning the wheel left made the van go right....
Imagine living with it for a while, then trying to sell it.
"So there's something you should bear in mind when driving it..."
Imagine left hand box is a mirror image of right hand.
Turn steering wheel to left, steering arm moves forwards, wheels turn left.
Turn box through 180 degrees (when viewed from above) and fit on RHS, turn wheel to left, arm goes back, wheels go right.
I don't know anything specific about VW steering boxes, but that's the general idea on how it could occur.
The steering box the wrong way round reminded me of 2 things about Morris J vans that were suggested by club members.
1 The camshaft is gear driven off the crank (1 gear on crank, 1 on cam) and the fibre timing gears are very rare, someone asked why we didn't identify a chain and gears from something more easily sourced. (Think about it.... the cam would rotate the opposite direction.)
2. The diff is offset and very low ratio which makes long distances hard work so a taller diff would be useful. Someone said he was going to use a Land Rover axle which has the offset the other way and flip it over. Don't know if he ever tried it, but he wouldn't beleive that it would give 1 forward and 3 reverse gears. (Yes, it takes a bit of getting your head round, but it is true!)
1 The camshaft is gear driven off the crank (1 gear on crank, 1 on cam) and the fibre timing gears are very rare, someone asked why we didn't identify a chain and gears from something more easily sourced. (Think about it.... the cam would rotate the opposite direction.)
2. The diff is offset and very low ratio which makes long distances hard work so a taller diff would be useful. Someone said he was going to use a Land Rover axle which has the offset the other way and flip it over. Don't know if he ever tried it, but he wouldn't beleive that it would give 1 forward and 3 reverse gears. (Yes, it takes a bit of getting your head round, but it is true!)
I was having some running problems with my MKII Golf GTI trackcar so I decided to reset the timing and go from there. First step was to make sure that lead one lined up on the dizzy when number piston was at TDC as I couldn't be sure I could trust my timing marks on the pulleys. The engine is quite modified with vernier pulleys etc.
So what's the best way of finding TDC? Yup, pull the plug out of number 1, rock the car in gear with something down the plug hole and you can see TDC. I chose a chopstick to stick down the hole as it was soft so wouldn't do any damage if it scraped about on the walls. It snapped. It left about an inch of itself in number 1 bore. It was an utter ball ache to get it out without removing the head.
To top it off it was one of the wifes chopsticks she had got from an expensive eatery as part of her 18th birthday celebrations and so had sentimental value, she went sentimental that's for sure.
Still, car ran great afterwards so it wasn't all bad.
Nick
So what's the best way of finding TDC? Yup, pull the plug out of number 1, rock the car in gear with something down the plug hole and you can see TDC. I chose a chopstick to stick down the hole as it was soft so wouldn't do any damage if it scraped about on the walls. It snapped. It left about an inch of itself in number 1 bore. It was an utter ball ache to get it out without removing the head.
To top it off it was one of the wifes chopsticks she had got from an expensive eatery as part of her 18th birthday celebrations and so had sentimental value, she went sentimental that's for sure.
Still, car ran great afterwards so it wasn't all bad.
Nick
Using the wrong tools..
Time to fit some new and better seats. 8 bolts and a few connectors.. will be done in 20 minutes. Just fitted some different seats to a mates car and that involved modifying the rails fairly significantly to get everything to fit, so this should be a piece of cake.
Open shiny new socket set, smallest 10mm socket is too big, no problem I'll get the spanners. 8mm seems to fit perfectly, although there is something rather odd about this bolt head.
Off down to Halfrauds to get an 8mm socket. After the never-ending quest to find someone who actually has a key to open the cabinet, they only have an 8mm long reach. Fine, it'll do.
Being impatient, straight out to the car, pop it on, yes it fits. Think to myself this is a little tough, most bolts don't require this much effort.. bolt comes out, right I'm on my way.
2nd bolt.. ah here it comes, push a bit harder.. *slip*. b
ks. Walk back into Halfrauds to explain my predicament knowing that I have been a muppet in thinking I was going to get away with using the wrong type of socket. Back to the cabinet to find this star shaped socket (E10) which looks remarkably like it will fit the bolt head perfectly.. oops.
Fortunately hadn't stripped the head completely and hammering the socket on straightened the splines and off it came. 20 minute job = 2 hour job
Time to fit some new and better seats. 8 bolts and a few connectors.. will be done in 20 minutes. Just fitted some different seats to a mates car and that involved modifying the rails fairly significantly to get everything to fit, so this should be a piece of cake.
Open shiny new socket set, smallest 10mm socket is too big, no problem I'll get the spanners. 8mm seems to fit perfectly, although there is something rather odd about this bolt head.
Off down to Halfrauds to get an 8mm socket. After the never-ending quest to find someone who actually has a key to open the cabinet, they only have an 8mm long reach. Fine, it'll do.
Being impatient, straight out to the car, pop it on, yes it fits. Think to myself this is a little tough, most bolts don't require this much effort.. bolt comes out, right I'm on my way.
2nd bolt.. ah here it comes, push a bit harder.. *slip*. b
ks. Walk back into Halfrauds to explain my predicament knowing that I have been a muppet in thinking I was going to get away with using the wrong type of socket. Back to the cabinet to find this star shaped socket (E10) which looks remarkably like it will fit the bolt head perfectly.. oops.Fortunately hadn't stripped the head completely and hammering the socket on straightened the splines and off it came. 20 minute job = 2 hour job
Not sure I should be telling this one. Quite embarrassing really!
I decided to do a DIY service on my Passat (2001 1.8T). Having done many services on many cars I thought it was going to be really straightforward. After doing the filters and the plugs, I turned my attention to the oil.
The first warning sign was that the sump bolt wasn't anything like the one I'd be given by the motor factors. Instead of having 6 sides, it was circular. Oh well, I'll get the mole grips out...
Got the oil drained and went to put the new bolt in, but it didn't fit - warning sign number two. The idiot must have given me the wrong bolt. I re-used the weird circular thing.
I then put in all 4.5 litres of oil into the oil filler and waited a bit for the new level to show on the dipstick. It was way over the maximum - warning sign number three. I somehow rationalised this by telling myself that it takes a while for the oil to drain down into the sump, and I'll check again later.
I then drove the car to a friend's house, noting a weird whining sound that seemed to be getting louder. It sounded like the gearbox, so I rang my friendly indy and booked it in. On arrival I told him the problem, and what I'd done on the service. He had a Passat on a ramp at the time and asked me to show him which bolt I'd undone.
Yes Matt, that's in fact the gearbox drain plug.
st.
Yep, I'd drained the gearbox of all oil and now had 9 litres of oil in the engine. Luckily I'd not done enough miles for the engine or gearbox to be completely knackered, but it did whine very quietly after that.
It turns out on the Passat, the longitudinal engine means that the engine sump plug is right near the front, and the gearbox plug is in roughly the same place as where you'd find it on a car with a transverse engine.
I'm generally a pretty good DIY mechanic, having done engine swaps, suspension, brakes etc. I really don't know why I was so stupid that time!
I decided to do a DIY service on my Passat (2001 1.8T). Having done many services on many cars I thought it was going to be really straightforward. After doing the filters and the plugs, I turned my attention to the oil.
The first warning sign was that the sump bolt wasn't anything like the one I'd be given by the motor factors. Instead of having 6 sides, it was circular. Oh well, I'll get the mole grips out...
Got the oil drained and went to put the new bolt in, but it didn't fit - warning sign number two. The idiot must have given me the wrong bolt. I re-used the weird circular thing.
I then put in all 4.5 litres of oil into the oil filler and waited a bit for the new level to show on the dipstick. It was way over the maximum - warning sign number three. I somehow rationalised this by telling myself that it takes a while for the oil to drain down into the sump, and I'll check again later.
I then drove the car to a friend's house, noting a weird whining sound that seemed to be getting louder. It sounded like the gearbox, so I rang my friendly indy and booked it in. On arrival I told him the problem, and what I'd done on the service. He had a Passat on a ramp at the time and asked me to show him which bolt I'd undone.
Yes Matt, that's in fact the gearbox drain plug.
s
t.Yep, I'd drained the gearbox of all oil and now had 9 litres of oil in the engine. Luckily I'd not done enough miles for the engine or gearbox to be completely knackered, but it did whine very quietly after that.
It turns out on the Passat, the longitudinal engine means that the engine sump plug is right near the front, and the gearbox plug is in roughly the same place as where you'd find it on a car with a transverse engine.
I'm generally a pretty good DIY mechanic, having done engine swaps, suspension, brakes etc. I really don't know why I was so stupid that time!
doogz said:
You're a pretty good DIY mechanic, yet you never noticed your sump plug wasn't actually in a sump. Or even on the engine.
Poor show.
Yup. Guilty as charged. As I said, I genuinely don't know what the hell I was thinking. Probably over confidence i.e. I know where the sump plug is so I won't even bother looking at it properly.Poor show.
Haven't done anything even remotely as stupid before or after. Well, for now at least
I'm quite lucky, I've never attempted too much therefore havent done anything too stupid - unlike my dad 
I seem to remember him discovering that testing your fan belt tension is best done with the engine stopped, I seem to remember that costing him several brokem fingers... Now I know where the Reg Prescott character came from.
When lying under the car and unable to move quickly, ensure the sump plug is back in (or at least threaded) before asking someone to pour the new oil in - though seeing him come out with a beard full of green oil was pretty funny at the time.
I've seen him to drop a spanner into a spinning fan propelling it into the radiator, and slam the bonnet down in a fit of rage leaving a hammer shaped bulge from below.
Now I know why I always put my cars into a garage for any work
I seem to remember him discovering that testing your fan belt tension is best done with the engine stopped, I seem to remember that costing him several brokem fingers... Now I know where the Reg Prescott character came from.
When lying under the car and unable to move quickly, ensure the sump plug is back in (or at least threaded) before asking someone to pour the new oil in - though seeing him come out with a beard full of green oil was pretty funny at the time.
I've seen him to drop a spanner into a spinning fan propelling it into the radiator, and slam the bonnet down in a fit of rage leaving a hammer shaped bulge from below.
Now I know why I always put my cars into a garage for any work
I used to build complex rc model rally cars as a kid back in the 80s. They were a lot harder to set up than the modern kits available now. Anyway I made a few errors assembling those, which meant stripping them right back down and starting all over again. That was tiresome and bad enough on a small scale, so I decided not to work on real sized cars which are way more complex. That was a good decision I think after reading this thread! 
Had a 3-litre Capri with 7 1/2-inch banded chrome Rostyles many years ago. Had a puncture one day - (on the way to a funeral, dressed in suit and white shirt!). Discovered the spare in the car was a standard 5 1/2-inch Ghia alloy but it had plenty of air in it so I quickly fitted it without too much mess.
Went to funeral. Afterwards, on way to hotel following the limo containing the bereaved family (and with loads of other cars in line behind) I went round a corner at about 30mph and the Capri just leant over and slid to a stop right across both sides of the road with a terrible scraping noise. Was trying to work out what had happened when I saw a rear-wheel rolling off up the road.
I'd used the wheel-nuts for the steel wheels instead of special alloy-wheel nuts with collars necessary for an alloy-wheel, and the nuts had pulled right through the bolt-holes in the Ghia alloy.
Went to funeral. Afterwards, on way to hotel following the limo containing the bereaved family (and with loads of other cars in line behind) I went round a corner at about 30mph and the Capri just leant over and slid to a stop right across both sides of the road with a terrible scraping noise. Was trying to work out what had happened when I saw a rear-wheel rolling off up the road.
I'd used the wheel-nuts for the steel wheels instead of special alloy-wheel nuts with collars necessary for an alloy-wheel, and the nuts had pulled right through the bolt-holes in the Ghia alloy.
Only one that I have done. Had just got back from picking up my first set of alloys for my first car. Got 3 of them on fine no problem at all, come round to the last one to change, front right. Place the jack under the jacking point and pump it enough just so that it has contact and then set about cracking off the wheel bolts, for some reason I get distracted and forget to jack the car up and carry on taking the wheel bolts out. Remove the first 2 like the car was in the air but the other 2 start to get harder to undo but I get one out, carry on with the last one when all of a sudden there is a loud bang and the car rocks, yep the wheel has jammed itself between the floor and the top of the brake disc, st!. Jack the car up and wiggle the wheel free to reveal, luckily, no damage apart from the top of the disc is scraped and also the inside of the wheel.
t!. Jack the car up and wiggle the wheel free to reveal, luckily, no damage apart from the top of the disc is scraped and also the inside of the wheel.Gassing Station | Home Mechanics | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff