DIY Mechanics Fail Stories
Discussion
*Al* said:
Drained the fuel tank of my daughters 04 Clio, she'd put contaminated petrol in. I used some garden hose to syphon the remaining fuel and swallowed a mouthful of 95 octane, not a nice experience as i also vomited my recently eaten dinner. I could taste and burp petrol for over a day, not nice. 
Have a few times been tempted to try and light my burps but always bottled out haha
Late 80`s working in a main dealer and one of the mechanics, lets call him mark bought a speed boat.
We wanted to try the outboard so Friday night at closing time we bolt the outboard to a skip with the leg in a bin full of water and try turning it over of a battery.
I didnt start and was turning over very slow so get the starter / charger from the garage and connect it to the battery try a few more times still no start.
the foreman now comes over, lets call him Paul. Paul turns up the amps to full on the charger and off we go again.
Meanwhile in the workshop they are cleaning the floors so have the ramps up in the air.
Suddenly the battery explodes with shards of plastic and hot battery acid hitting us all but Paul got it full in the face and eyes. His first reaction is to run to the toilets but runs straight into one of the ramp arms, falls down then gets up and starts running again now with a broken nose, blood and battery acid and straight into another ramp arm at head height.
Looked like kestone cops
We managed to catch him and water him off with a hose but considering how serious it was we were laughing too much. we were lucky to have not killed somebody.
We wanted to try the outboard so Friday night at closing time we bolt the outboard to a skip with the leg in a bin full of water and try turning it over of a battery.
I didnt start and was turning over very slow so get the starter / charger from the garage and connect it to the battery try a few more times still no start.
the foreman now comes over, lets call him Paul. Paul turns up the amps to full on the charger and off we go again.
Meanwhile in the workshop they are cleaning the floors so have the ramps up in the air.
Suddenly the battery explodes with shards of plastic and hot battery acid hitting us all but Paul got it full in the face and eyes. His first reaction is to run to the toilets but runs straight into one of the ramp arms, falls down then gets up and starts running again now with a broken nose, blood and battery acid and straight into another ramp arm at head height.
Looked like kestone cops
We managed to catch him and water him off with a hose but considering how serious it was we were laughing too much. we were lucky to have not killed somebody.
The Black Flash said:
Ah, I've been there 
. Grinding with goggles on, took them off to look, then "just needs a tiny touch more" which I of course did without the goggles. Cue shards in eye, and a similar trip to A&E for the needle treatment.
"Now don't move your eye" said the Dr as the needle approached. "That would be really bad". He'd turned my eyelid inside out so I couldn't blink, but it's incredibly hard not to look away. Not a great way to spend an hour!
Also been there, except I had to wait until the next day to see the specialist. She also used the light at an angle which was much more tolerable than the nurse in A&E who shone it directly in.. Grinding with goggles on, took them off to look, then "just needs a tiny touch more" which I of course did without the goggles. Cue shards in eye, and a similar trip to A&E for the needle treatment."Now don't move your eye" said the Dr as the needle approached. "That would be really bad". He'd turned my eyelid inside out so I couldn't blink, but it's incredibly hard not to look away. Not a great way to spend an hour!
You will feel a tapping sensation on your eyeball!
Never again.
Zoobeef said:
Inman999 don't you have something to contribute here? 
All I have to say is a plastic steamed pudding bowl is not sufficient to contain the power steering fluid when you remove the return pipe and start the engine. Needless to say as I sat in the driving seat watching a stream of PSF that could be measured in litres per second coat everything under the bonnet, I had a new appreciation for the flowrate of power steering pumps. Couldn't turn the engine off fast enough. I can confirm that slow cooked PSF stinks.
inman999 said:
Zoobeef said:
Inman999 don't you have something to contribute here?
All I have to say is a plastic steamed pudding bowl is not sufficient to contain the power steering fluid when you remove the return pipe and start the engine. Needless to say as I sat in the driving seat watching a stream of PSF that could be measured in litres per second coat everything under the bonnet, I had a new appreciation for the flowrate of power steering pumps. Couldn't turn the engine off fast enough. I can confirm that slow cooked PSF stinks.
I'd never admit to either of these to people I know but...
After one of the lights in my Astra's multi-function display stopped working, I decided that replacing it on a dark evening was the sensible thing to do. Once I'd removed half the interior (unnecessarily) to access it, I could already feel the rage starting to build. The final straw came when I couldn't work out how to remove the clip holding it in, so I ended up yanking it so hard in frustration that I tore the screen clean out and had to buy a whole new unit. To add insult to injury, my Dad then demonstrated with annoying ease how the clip *should* have been removed.
My second embarrassing incident came when I was trying to remove some vile limo black window tints fitted by the previous owner from my newly purchased Saxo snotter. I couldn't for the life of me lift the corner of the film to start peeling it off the rear window, so in my infinite wisdom resorted to heat. Not wanting to take the sensible route of maybe borrowing the girlfriend's hairdryer, I went in guns a blazing with the nearest source of heat at the time - a blow torch. My logic was that if I kept it far enough away, I wouldn't do the window any harm. My assumption was proved wrong when I heard a massive crack and a large shard of the window fell to the floor. Luckily it came off in one piece, and I superglued it in place until I found a new one.
Now I've had a few more years practice, I like to think my DIY skills have progressed, but I get the feeling it's only a matter of time before I lose patience something similar happens again.
Just remembered another one.
Aged 16 I became the proud owner of a Motor Jikov MJ50 czech moped. This tractor company decided to expand into bikes for two or three years before thinking better of it.
Anyway this hateful bicycle tyred 50cc moped would only go 37mph causing much displeasure to other road users, so I decided to try and derestrict it. I had been told by a friend of my stepfather that removing the spring from the carb would allow the float to open fully, thus allowing more petrol through (made sense to me at the time).
Of course, said carb spring was the float return spring, so after starting the bike, with it revving its tits off I thought "this sounds much better", hopped on, put it into gear and shot off down the road at permanent WOT .
This combined with the fact that the two stroke tank leaked oil directly onto the back wheel ensured for an interesting couple of first corners, with a skinny teenager hanging on for dear life.
Aged 16 I became the proud owner of a Motor Jikov MJ50 czech moped. This tractor company decided to expand into bikes for two or three years before thinking better of it.
Anyway this hateful bicycle tyred 50cc moped would only go 37mph causing much displeasure to other road users, so I decided to try and derestrict it. I had been told by a friend of my stepfather that removing the spring from the carb would allow the float to open fully, thus allowing more petrol through (made sense to me at the time).
Of course, said carb spring was the float return spring, so after starting the bike, with it revving its tits off I thought "this sounds much better", hopped on, put it into gear and shot off down the road at permanent WOT .
This combined with the fact that the two stroke tank leaked oil directly onto the back wheel ensured for an interesting couple of first corners, with a skinny teenager hanging on for dear life.
Faust66 said:
10 bonus man points are hereby awarded for covering up your mistake.
'When working on a car - no matter how big or small the job - at least once you MUST get confused about righty tighty/lefty losey...' I reckon this text may be the fabled missing page from all Haynes manuals.
I’ve told this story before on PH, but what the hell;
While back I was doing a basic service on my Amazon. As I was putting a new set of plugs in, a couple of foxy lasses from the student house at the end of the road walked by and said “we like your car”. “Hmmmm” thinks I, “not gonna pass this opportunity up”.
So, I was having a bit of a chat with them as I continued working – obviously I was being my usual charming and debonair self, stating that I was restoring the car, it’s a lot of work but it’s worth it blah blah blah.
Unfortunately as I was tightening the sparkplug in number 4 cylinder (near the battery) I was distracted somewhat by their skimpy attire and the metal handle of my socket driver made contact with the positive terminal of the battery with the predictable FZZZZZZZ! and large spark.
I jumped backwards about 3 feet banging my head on the bonnet and almost landed on my arse, whilst swearing profusely the whole time.
Sadly, the nice young ladies have never stopped by for a chat again.
What made it worse was that my neighbour (ex mechanic) witnessed the whole sorry incident and mentions it on a regular basis. b
d.
i love this story, guaranteed LOL'When working on a car - no matter how big or small the job - at least once you MUST get confused about righty tighty/lefty losey...' I reckon this text may be the fabled missing page from all Haynes manuals.
I’ve told this story before on PH, but what the hell;
While back I was doing a basic service on my Amazon. As I was putting a new set of plugs in, a couple of foxy lasses from the student house at the end of the road walked by and said “we like your car”. “Hmmmm” thinks I, “not gonna pass this opportunity up”.
So, I was having a bit of a chat with them as I continued working – obviously I was being my usual charming and debonair self, stating that I was restoring the car, it’s a lot of work but it’s worth it blah blah blah.
Unfortunately as I was tightening the sparkplug in number 4 cylinder (near the battery) I was distracted somewhat by their skimpy attire and the metal handle of my socket driver made contact with the positive terminal of the battery with the predictable FZZZZZZZ! and large spark.
I jumped backwards about 3 feet banging my head on the bonnet and almost landed on my arse, whilst swearing profusely the whole time.
Sadly, the nice young ladies have never stopped by for a chat again.
What made it worse was that my neighbour (ex mechanic) witnessed the whole sorry incident and mentions it on a regular basis. b
d.I did that thing over the weekend where you take something apart, put it back together after fixing whatever you were fixing (in my case re-attaching the speedo cable that'd fallen off) and be left with 3 spare screws and a bit of fluff. Been over every screw I took out, checked for rogue holes, nothing. Dont know where they're supposed to go so threw them in the glovebox
Getragdogleg said:
No it won't, not to a reverse light switch it won't. I suspect it sparked a tiny bit and that spooked her, there is no way you would feel 12v from a reverse light circuit.
You absolutely CAN feel 12 volts, especially if you have moist skin. It's a very mild tingle, certainly nothing that could be described as a shock however.Gassing Station | Home Mechanics | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff