Worst bodge you have seen
Discussion
stevesingo said:
*Fletch* said:
22Rgt said:
Vw LT van with 5 pot diesel, rear cylinder had snapped conrod which had smashed a large hole in the block. Remains of rod and bigend bearing cap removed and crank sealed with a strip of rubber and jubilee clip. Piston was pushed up into the cylinder and jammed into place with some broken off feeler gauges stuffed between cyl and piston skirt. Hole in the block repaired with fibreglass mat and injector pipe removed and pump blocked off.
Kinda get the feeling you're trolling but please tell me this ones true, because that would be amazing! Ex Special Air Service 22rgt B Squadron. Sniper instructor.
Many years ago I had a new wing put on my first Mini by a mate that was a bit handy with a welder. I couldn't figure out how the headlamp bowl was supposed to fix to the wing so I fished around in my Dad's garage for the largest rawl plugs I could find, hammered them into the pre-drilled holes on the front of the wing and attached the bowl with some woodscrews and some washers.
Headlamp in and Bobs your uncle. Sailed through the next MOT too.
Actually that's a lie. It failed miserably with the MOT bloke telling me it would be quicker if he told me what was NOT wrong with it. Didn't mention the headlamp though.
Headlamp in and Bobs your uncle. Sailed through the next MOT too.
Actually that's a lie. It failed miserably with the MOT bloke telling me it would be quicker if he told me what was NOT wrong with it. Didn't mention the headlamp though.
Years ago my Capri had been stood for months on my parents' drive. So when we came to start it, (a) the mechanical - i.e. engine driven - fuel pump had allowed the fuel lines to drain back to the tank, (b) the float bowl was empty so said pump would need several mins of cranking to get fuel to the engine, and (c) the battery wouldn't even power the ignition light!
My jump leads were so crap we couldn't even turn it over from my mate's cars battery. But they were enough to power the ignition...
I borrowed the battery out of my mum's car, sat it on the passenger seat of the Capri and ran the jump leads out of the window and under the partly open bonnet to the Capri's battery. Which got the ignition and hazard lights on. Then, we towed it round the block 4 or 5 times, in 3rd gear, using my mate's car, until that mechanical fuel pump had refilled the float bowl and the Capri fired up.
Then, it was a case of "FFS don't stall it!" as I drove it under its own steam to warm up, before returning my mum's battery to her car now that the Capri's alternator was providing power to the ignition.
My jump leads were so crap we couldn't even turn it over from my mate's cars battery. But they were enough to power the ignition...
I borrowed the battery out of my mum's car, sat it on the passenger seat of the Capri and ran the jump leads out of the window and under the partly open bonnet to the Capri's battery. Which got the ignition and hazard lights on. Then, we towed it round the block 4 or 5 times, in 3rd gear, using my mate's car, until that mechanical fuel pump had refilled the float bowl and the Capri fired up.
Then, it was a case of "FFS don't stall it!" as I drove it under its own steam to warm up, before returning my mum's battery to her car now that the Capri's alternator was providing power to the ignition.
McWigglebum4th said:
stevesingo said:
*Fletch* said:
22Rgt said:
Vw LT van with 5 pot diesel, rear cylinder had snapped conrod which had smashed a large hole in the block. Remains of rod and bigend bearing cap removed and crank sealed with a strip of rubber and jubilee clip. Piston was pushed up into the cylinder and jammed into place with some broken off feeler gauges stuffed between cyl and piston skirt. Hole in the block repaired with fibreglass mat and injector pipe removed and pump blocked off.
Kinda get the feeling you're trolling but please tell me this ones true, because that would be amazing! Ex Special Air Service 22rgt B Squadron. Sniper instructor.
buzzer said:
many years ago I had a 1.3 marina that had done a lot of miles and was burning oil... It was also noisy with a lot of piston slap. I took the pistons out to replace the rings but the piston skirts were badly worn, hence the noise...
So I popped them in the lathe and with the knurling tool carefully put an inch of knurl at the bottom of the skirt. ( the indentations caused by the knurling push the surrounding metal into peaks, thus increasing the diameter of what you knurl)
when it was assembled it ran like a dream, no more burning oil, quiet... I did a few thousand miles and it was still quiet!
I've seen bearing surfaces grit blasted so they grip the outside of the bearing a bit tighter.So I popped them in the lathe and with the knurling tool carefully put an inch of knurl at the bottom of the skirt. ( the indentations caused by the knurling push the surrounding metal into peaks, thus increasing the diameter of what you knurl)
when it was assembled it ran like a dream, no more burning oil, quiet... I did a few thousand miles and it was still quiet!
My dad used to own a rather dilapidated Austin 1800. The battery failed, and , being on a tight budget he managed to procure a truck battery which was waaaay too big to go in it's rightful place in the engine bay.
His fix was to secure it in the boot, earth it there and run a live cable made of welding cable to the battery connection in the engine bay (all made off and insulated properly there).
All was good until one day the cable rubbed through the insulation on the "chassis", rubbed on the underside of the car and caught fire.......good job his mate was following him and saw the firework show underneath....
His fix was to secure it in the boot, earth it there and run a live cable made of welding cable to the battery connection in the engine bay (all made off and insulated properly there).
All was good until one day the cable rubbed through the insulation on the "chassis", rubbed on the underside of the car and caught fire.......good job his mate was following him and saw the firework show underneath....
*Fletch* said:
22Rgt said:
Vw LT van with 5 pot diesel, rear cylinder had snapped conrod which had smashed a large hole in the block. Remains of rod and bigend bearing cap removed and crank sealed with a strip of rubber and jubilee clip. Piston was pushed up into the cylinder and jammed into place with some broken off feeler gauges stuffed between cyl and piston skirt. Hole in the block repaired with fibreglass mat and injector pipe removed and pump blocked off.
Kinda get the feeling you're trolling but please tell me this ones true, because that would be amazing! AdeTuono said:
McWigglebum4th said:
stevesingo said:
*Fletch* said:
22Rgt said:
Vw LT van with 5 pot diesel, rear cylinder had snapped conrod which had smashed a large hole in the block. Remains of rod and bigend bearing cap removed and crank sealed with a strip of rubber and jubilee clip. Piston was pushed up into the cylinder and jammed into place with some broken off feeler gauges stuffed between cyl and piston skirt. Hole in the block repaired with fibreglass mat and injector pipe removed and pump blocked off.
Kinda get the feeling you're trolling but please tell me this ones true, because that would be amazing! Ex Special Air Service 22rgt B Squadron. Sniper instructor.
TWINS
McWigglebum4th said:
stevesingo said:
*Fletch* said:
22Rgt said:
Vw LT van with 5 pot diesel, rear cylinder had snapped conrod which had smashed a large hole in the block. Remains of rod and bigend bearing cap removed and crank sealed with a strip of rubber and jubilee clip. Piston was pushed up into the cylinder and jammed into place with some broken off feeler gauges stuffed between cyl and piston skirt. Hole in the block repaired with fibreglass mat and injector pipe removed and pump blocked off.
Kinda get the feeling you're trolling but please tell me this ones true, because that would be amazing! Ex Special Air Service 22rgt B Squadron. Sniper instructor.
Theres many on here who will ridicule and mock and think i live in some sort of fantasy land, little i can do about that however, i just let those that like to do it carry on...
So you lied in your profile, which clearly states you are
22Rgt-profile said:
Ex Special Air Service 22rgt B Squadron. Sniper instructor
Now you are saying 22Rgt said:
For all the non beleivers this is actually my ex role Special Air Service 21rgt going onto 22rgt until breaking my back in a helicopter accident and ending my career.
So why should anyone believe anything you say?Jesus H Christ. Another interesting thread ruined by a load of pointless and mind-numbingly tedious b
hing over whether or not someone is telling porkies! Who gives a toss?
Let's get back to bodges, shall we?
In my teens I bought a Punto on which the welded joint between the middle exhaust section and the back box failed due to rust, resulting in the back box dropping and dragging on the floor. My temporary roadside fix consisted of lashing the back box to the rear axle beam with speaker wire, which worked so well it stayed that way for about 8 months
hing over whether or not someone is telling porkies! Who gives a toss? Let's get back to bodges, shall we?
In my teens I bought a Punto on which the welded joint between the middle exhaust section and the back box failed due to rust, resulting in the back box dropping and dragging on the floor. My temporary roadside fix consisted of lashing the back box to the rear axle beam with speaker wire, which worked so well it stayed that way for about 8 months
Quite98elise said:
*Fletch* said:
22Rgt said:
Vw LT van with 5 pot diesel, rear cylinder had snapped conrod which had smashed a large hole in the block. Remains of rod and bigend bearing cap removed and crank sealed with a strip of rubber and jubilee clip. Piston was pushed up into the cylinder and jammed into place with some broken off feeler gauges stuffed between cyl and piston skirt. Hole in the block repaired with fibreglass mat and injector pipe removed and pump blocked off.
Kinda get the feeling you're trolling but please tell me this ones true, because that would be amazing! Power will be down a lot (25% on a 4 pot), so the more cylinders the better.
The first time I heard of something similar was on an American V8. The person who was telling me about it claimed they didn't feel much difference!
Why is it always the Mechanics with the worst cars.
One I did years ago, probably at least 20 actually:
My Dad had bought an old (1979) automatic mini for my mum, although she refused to drive it as she couldn't get on with the automatic.
Anyway, it was MOT time, so a mate came over to help prepare it (we were both around 18 at the time). It needed new front brake shoes, plus a few other bits and bobs like the wheel bearing, tweaking the carb a bit for the emissions, etc.
Anyway, all went fine, but when I road tested it, the brakes were really grabby and pulled heavily to the right. We spent a good hour or two fiddling, off with the drums, re-adjust, road test, no improvement, repeat.
Eventually we ran out of time, since we'd got a pre-booked MOT that day, so nipped up the road to put it through.
Everything was alright, but the tester wasn't happy with the rolling road brake test. He got his boss over, who ran it on the rollers, then reversed out of the garage and went blasting off down the road. He jumped on the brakes and we saw the little car violently swerve to the right. The tester turned around and came back to the garage, he took his hands off the wheel as he approached us, braked and the car steered straight onto his forecourt without any steering input.
He was a bit red in the face as he got out, I happened to suggest that it might be 'pulling a bit to the side'. He went apoplectic. Absolutely apest. We got an almighty bking and were sent off to put it right.
Another couple of hours fiddling ensued. Still to no avail, then my mate hit upon an utterly genius idea. Grease!
A light coating on the right front brake shoes later and the mini was pulling up straight and true, albeit not particularly quickly.
Back to the MOT station where it sailed through the brake test. The MOT guy was looking at us with suspicion when we stated we'd 'adjusted it a bit', but he gave us the benefit of the doubt, and the all-important ticket.
My Dad had bought an old (1979) automatic mini for my mum, although she refused to drive it as she couldn't get on with the automatic.
Anyway, it was MOT time, so a mate came over to help prepare it (we were both around 18 at the time). It needed new front brake shoes, plus a few other bits and bobs like the wheel bearing, tweaking the carb a bit for the emissions, etc.
Anyway, all went fine, but when I road tested it, the brakes were really grabby and pulled heavily to the right. We spent a good hour or two fiddling, off with the drums, re-adjust, road test, no improvement, repeat.
Eventually we ran out of time, since we'd got a pre-booked MOT that day, so nipped up the road to put it through.
Everything was alright, but the tester wasn't happy with the rolling road brake test. He got his boss over, who ran it on the rollers, then reversed out of the garage and went blasting off down the road. He jumped on the brakes and we saw the little car violently swerve to the right. The tester turned around and came back to the garage, he took his hands off the wheel as he approached us, braked and the car steered straight onto his forecourt without any steering input.
He was a bit red in the face as he got out, I happened to suggest that it might be 'pulling a bit to the side'. He went apoplectic. Absolutely apes
t. We got an almighty bking and were sent off to put it right.Another couple of hours fiddling ensued. Still to no avail, then my mate hit upon an utterly genius idea. Grease!
A light coating on the right front brake shoes later and the mini was pulling up straight and true, albeit not particularly quickly.
Back to the MOT station where it sailed through the brake test. The MOT guy was looking at us with suspicion when we stated we'd 'adjusted it a bit', but he gave us the benefit of the doubt, and the all-important ticket.
remember watching FF on the telling and heard abotu this engine, a great bodge, a plate ont he block after a conrod had exited stage right,
http://www.thekentlives.com/index.php/tech/engine/...
http://www.thekentlives.com/index.php/tech/engine/...
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