Worst bodge you have seen

[Axionknight]

Found a classic Mini with a scaffolding pole clamped in place for the central part of the exhaust. Made a good noise actually :P

[J4CKO]

Another of my own, out Fiat 500 mysteriously used to stop running when hot, I did the valve clearances, new dizzy cap, leads, points, plugs etc and nothing could prevent it, the minute it got hot it stuttred, died and refused to start.

I was sat in bed pondering why it was doing this, after some weeks and tried to trace my movements back to when it started, the first occurance was a Monday when my wife went shopping in it and I relaised I had doen some jobs the Saturday before, doubted a new horn would cause it then I remembered changing the perished fuel pipe, I searched for some suitable bore tubing in my box of useful things saved from other things and found some PVC tubing, that will do I thought, er no it wont, fine when its cool, fairly rigid, but when it gets hot it goes all floppy and the fuel pump sucks it flat like a fat kid going at a fresh McDonalds Milkshake !

I bought some proper -Reinforced-, thats the key word, fuel pipe from the local motor factors, fitted it and despatched the (sceptical) wife, the car ran faultlessly (well as near as it ever got), I told her it was the fuel pipe, but neglected to mention I had already changed it


You live and, mostly, learn.

[J4CKO]

A friend who is a mechanic had a Nissan 200 come in that someone had bought with a couple of faults, most notably horrific fuel consumption, smoking and random shuddering, he test drove it and had driven them before but this was epically fast, a lot quicker than a standard one, it had the obligatory big exhaust and indiction kit but also a turbo bigger than standard. Anyway the turbo was bigger and the wastegate had been crudely welded shut.

[Crosswise]

I bought a Mini which had the A panel attached with silicone sealer and the wing riveted on. The hinge studs were welded to the shims which were in turn welded to the inner wing because it was too rusty for the nuts to hold. A hole in the sill had been filled with yet more silicone only there was nothing behind it so the guy had emptied about 2 tubes of the stuff into the cavity until there was something he could paint!

I was young and naive and thought that a Mini with an MOT for £400 less than any other for sale at the time was a bargain! It also had no rear brakes so I don't know how it had an MOT.

I'm currently working on a Bentley S1 which I found had a broken rocker shaft which had been 'fixed' by bolting a piece of angle iron to the shaft and the other end was attached to a head bolt to stop it moving.

[groomi]

My first car was a Metro unfortunately. It had a floor made from plaster of Paris and newspaper. Of the 4 bolts holding the rear subframe: 1 was missing and 2 were in the plaster/paper. Only 1 was actually fixed to anything.

Had been MOT'd earlier that week.

[Camoradi]

A friend of mine bought an Alfa 156 (2 litre twin spark) at auction. It was running very rough but he had another crash damaged vehicle with a good engine so it was ideal for his purposes (and very cheap).

When we checked it out we found that the sump had been damaged and repaired with GRP matting at one end.

When we took the sump off we found it only had three pistons and con rods in it. Bits of the fourth one had gone out through the sump.

Good try

[mekondelta]

At uni a friend had a VW camper van with a broken throttle cable. The fix? Run a new cable but through the CABIN and over his shoulder so he was controlling the throttle with his left hand and driving with the right...

[defblade]

evoivboy said:

I actually screamed a bit at that one...

[SteveinTurkey]

When I was 18 I ran a Hillman Imp, and going too fast over a hump-back bridge the sump scraped the ground. About 5 miles down the road I noticed the oil light coming on and that there was oil covering the rear window. I was able to pull into a petrol station where I did a fix on the split in the sump. I got a tin of body filler and some abrasive paper and managed to prepare the area around the split on the rear corner of the sump and apply a layer of filler. A top up with oil got me home ok and next day I was able to check the repair and assess that it was completely successful, so I painted it black to match the sump and it never leaked all the time I had the car!

[SteveinTurkey]

My brother who owned many bangers in the 50s and 60s assures me that it was common to buy a cheap car and find that the worn out noisy axle had been filled with sawdust to keep it quiet during the sale period.

[SteveinTurkey]

Not exactly a bodge but a severe owner error.

I was asked to fix the brakes on a Mini which were pulling unevenly. I drove the car and the brakes would pull to the left and right or not at all - completly horrible. I quickly discovered that the brake fluid reservior was full of engine oil - the owner's friend had topped up the brakes with oil!! I completely refurbished the system and advised the owner to not let her friend touch the car again!

[muley]

A long time ago.. ..the worst bodge I ever saw was a body repair to a mark II Jag that a friend's elder brother had just bought. It had been resprayed gold colour and looked really good. He was a bit crestfallen when we discovered the lower half of the front wings were rusty holes bashed in and covered with brown paper shiny side out!

My favourite bodge was on a friends Fiat 500 where the throttle cable snapped. We wedged the throttle wide open with a bit of cigarette packet and carried on - engine screaming it's nuts off when we changed gear.

[leafspring]

Not a terrible bodge but still... the battery in my current snotter is too small (right rating its just small) the battery clamp doesn't screw down far enough to hold it, so the previous owner has wedged a lump of wood between the clamp and battery.

It works

[MartynVRS]

My dad had an Mini where the seat base rotted away so it slid about. The solution by the MOT tester was to bolt a beer crate behind the seat. Job done, MOT passed until next year where he brought it up. Dad had to remind him he was the one who did it. MOT passed

[toppstuff]

22Rgt said:

Name will sound familiar as i changed to a gmail address and couldnt login anymore without modifying my user name. For all the non beleivers this is actually my ex role Special Air Service 21rgt going onto 22rgt until breaking my back in a helicopter accident and ending my career.
Theres many on here who will ridicule and mock and think i live in some sort of fantasy land, little i can do about that however, i just let those that like to do it carry on...

It's a bit weird though fella, really, it is.

I know a couple of genuine lads and the last thing they want to do is tell people about it. A close friend of mine who served is pretty prickly about anyone telling people. The very fact that you want the world to know, tends to suggest that it ain't true.

If it is true, then you are insecure, lack judgement and really should not feel the need to tell people about it.

If it is not true, then it is a bit sad and you need to have a word with yourself.

Either way, it is not really the done thing.

Just sayin, like...

Anyway, sorry for the hijack, lets get back to bodging..

[Mr2Mike]

defblade said:

I actually screamed a bit at that one...

So did I. The insulated handles on those scissors are only rated for 110v so using them in the UK is bad news.

[ClaphamGT3]

mekondelta said:

At uni a friend had a VW camper van with a broken throttle cable. The fix? Run a new cable but through the CABIN and over his shoulder so he was controlling the throttle with his left hand and driving with the right...

Anyone who had a 3.5 Rover SD1 would consider that a monthly event!

[M3DGE]

My Dad's terrible poo brown allegro in the 80s...rear seat supports collapsed, completely corroded away. Stuffed a couple of large logs under to hold it up...

My Suzuki SJ in 1995. Fabulous off roader and great in Scottish snow but as rusty as a rusty thing. Mechanical problem, took it to the wonderful Cherrybank garage in Perth...when bonnet shut, headlight popped out like a clown car! £90 and a four week wait to get a new one....nahhh... the old guy running the garage got a plastic mixing bowl from the pound shop, cut it to size and rivetted it in! Genius IMO..

[hedgefinder]

the track rod end dropped out (threads stripped off!!...good old ford quality) on my F150 a while back, luckily I was jut parking when it happened!
I had a ratchet strap to strap it up and hold it together to get me home...probably the worst bodge I have seen, luckily the police didnt pull me over on the short trip home..

[Stuartggray]

I once drove my Triumph 250 motorbike through Edinburgh with a Molegrip in place of the gear change lever. Had to be careful on the down change not to hit the release lever.