Rant about 911 Turbo ****wits

[LoonR1]

steve singh said:

If you had a half able driver in a turbo (the type that would seek out and buy a turbo) and a far more able driver in the van, then the van driver wouldn't even see them!!!!!

< because you were so polite I even put a laugh in there for you

No st Sherlock.

I was merley pointing out that it's possible that you can have an incapable driver in a fast car. I know my Mum's (now dead) partner was a muppet in every car he drove and there were some very nice ones in his fleet, she was even worse, despite driving them regularly.

[steve singh]

LoonR1 said:

steve singh said:

If you had a half able driver in a turbo (the type that would seek out and buy a turbo) and a far more able driver in the van, then the van driver wouldn't even see them!!!!!

< because you were so polite I even put a laugh in there for you

No st Sherlock.

I was merley pointing out that it's possible that you can have an incapable driver in a fast car. I know my Mum's (now dead) partner was a muppet in every car he drove and there were some very nice ones in his fleet, she was even worse, despite driving them regularly.

Remind me again why we're having such an inane discussion?

[LoonR1]

steve singh said:

LoonR1 said:

steve singh said:

If you had a half able driver in a turbo (the type that would seek out and buy a turbo) and a far more able driver in the van, then the van driver wouldn't even see them!!!!!

< because you were so polite I even put a laugh in there for you

No st Sherlock.

I was merley pointing out that it's possible that you can have an incapable driver in a fast car. I know my Mum's (now dead) partner was a muppet in every car he drove and there were some very nice ones in his fleet, she was even worse, despite driving them regularly.

Remind me again why we're having such an inane discussion?

Dunno, it was because you said that vans couldn't beat a 911 Turbo and I said it was more down to the driver, blah, blah and then we carried on for a while and here we are

[steve singh]

LoonR1 said:

steve singh said:

LoonR1 said:

steve singh said:

If you had a half able driver in a turbo (the type that would seek out and buy a turbo) and a far more able driver in the van, then the van driver wouldn't even see them!!!!!

< because you were so polite I even put a laugh in there for you

No st Sherlock.

I was merley pointing out that it's possible that you can have an incapable driver in a fast car. I know my Mum's (now dead) partner was a muppet in every car he drove and there were some very nice ones in his fleet, she was even worse, despite driving them regularly.

Remind me again why we're having such an inane discussion?

Dunno, it was because you said that vans couldn't beat a 911 Turbo and I said it was more down to the driver, blah, blah and then we carried on for a while and here we are

[mikial]

Wedg1e said:

Hey Black prince, I think I've drawn the flak away

I'm off back to Biker Banter to claim my tourer is faster than any sports bike, that usually gets a laugh

My middleweight can top that easy, last night I owned Marquez on his hack ( above ) around some twisties in downtown Cebu !!

[goldblum]

9mm said:

goldblum said:

9mm said:

goldblum said:

9mm said:

I don't think money has anything to do with it. I suspect most people just find it hilarious that anyone really believes they can outdrive a 911 turbo in a Transit Connect.

Plenty of Porches and similar around here (Cheshire) being driven poorly by oldish gentlemen. You wouldn't need a van to get by them a milk float would do the job. Hog the outside lane, never go above 20% below the legal limit, a right PITA.

That's not what I call out-driving and I don't think it was what our hero meant either.

Are you saying slower cars never get the better of faster cars? And if they do it's not because the faster car's been outdriven?

No, I'm saying that Transit Connects do not 'get the better' of 911 turbos.

No, surely you're saying a Porsche 911 turbo is a better vehicle in every respect to a transit van. Because otherwise you're saying a bad driver in a Porsche that's trying can't get beaten by an average nutter in a van that's trying. Which is, frankly, hilarious bullst.
I have to say this thread has given me a new appreciation of Porsche drivers now I understand they not only own the best cars but also possess the most talent.

[BlackPrince]

Leptons said:

Blackprince = jealous, un-funny, bell end.

I've already admitted that I am so thanks for being redundant

[BlackPrince]

slippery said:

It only became a joke once he realised was a prat he looked.

Said event did indeed happen, but I was nowhere near as woundup about it as my post made me appear. I don't really get that angry on the road to be honest, but this one time I felt mildly irked, figured try to post a humorous rant in Biker Banter as others on there do. Now I know not to submit myself to the merciless wolves of PH ever again!

[mikial]

BlackPrince said:

slippery said:

It only became a joke once he realised was a prat he looked.

Said event did indeed happen, but I was nowhere near as woundup about it as my post made me appear. I don't really get that angry on the road to be honest, but this one time I felt mildly irked, figured try to post a humorous rant in Biker Banter as others on there do. Now I know not to submit myself to the merciless wolves of PH ever again!

Just so Black Prince , many humourless driving gods are a mere whisker away waiting to pounce with their superior knowledge on all things . You've been called many things but replied as you saw fit without rancor. Keep posting what you want , when you want and don't let the sicophantic wolves in waiting get to you.

[jamieduff1981]

Wedg1e said:

Petrolhead95 said:

...then they notice that some bellend in a van has a hard on while keeping up with them, and then they floor it away from said van.

Read it again. I said they can drive fast in a straight line but not round curves. I never claimed the van could stay with them; I have on several occasions late-braked and overtaken them though. Just a fact, sorry if the small-penised ones don't like it.

This whole penis-size thing seems to be the key to your self esteem.

If a Porsche 996 Turbo owner turns out to have a bigger penis than you, would you just need to admit defeat and accept that someone else has made a better success of their life than you have? Did your wife run off with someone with more money than you or what?

[slippery]

jamieduff1981 said:

This whole penis-size thing seems to be the key to your self esteem.

If a Porsche 996 Turbo owner turns out to have a bigger penis than you, would you just need to admit defeat and accept that someone else has made a better success of their life than you have? Did your wife run off with someone with more money than you or what?

[keegs111]

jamieduff1981 said:

Wedg1e said:

Petrolhead95 said:

...then they notice that some bellend in a van has a hard on while keeping up with them, and then they floor it away from said van.

Read it again. I said they can drive fast in a straight line but not round curves. I never claimed the van could stay with them; I have on several occasions late-braked and overtaken them though. Just a fact, sorry if the small-penised ones don't like it.

This whole penis-size thing seems to be the key to your self esteem.

If a Porsche 996 Turbo owner turns out to have a bigger penis than you, would you just need to admit defeat and accept that someone else has made a better success of their life than you have? Did your wife run off with someone with more money than you or what?

Wife got nailed by a 911 driver! :-)

[CHN]

keegs111 said:

Wife got nailed by a 911 driver! :-)

with a small penis

[LoonR1]

jamieduff1981 said:

This whole penis-size thing seems to be the key to your self esteem.

If a Porsche 996 Turbo owner turns out to have a bigger penis than you, would you just need to admit defeat and accept that someone else has made a better success of their life than you have? Did your wife run off with someone with more money than you or what?

Do you define success purely by the car you drive?

There are many more measures than this, few of which revolve exclusively around the money you earn.

[jamieduff1981]

LoonR1 said:

jamieduff1981 said:

This whole penis-size thing seems to be the key to your self esteem.

If a Porsche 996 Turbo owner turns out to have a bigger penis than you, would you just need to admit defeat and accept that someone else has made a better success of their life than you have? Did your wife run off with someone with more money than you or what?

Do you define success purely by the car you drive?

There are many more measures than this, few of which revolve exclusively around the money you earn.

Look in my garage. Hardly. Cars are not what I choose to spend money on. You very rarely see wealthy men falling back on the old "must have a small cock" cliche though, however ostentatious or otherwise those people are. That's more the reserve of the less wealthy, relying on the one thing he hopes he doesn't have to prove.

[CHN]

LoonR1 said:

Do you define success purely by the car you drive?

There are many more measures than this, few of which revolve exclusively around the money you earn.

I agree, but its only just as daft as defining the size of one's manhood by the car that they drive.

[Coolbanana]

Well, I reckon Sabine Schmitz would beat me easily in a race around the Nurburgring - she in a Transit and me in my 911 (non-turbo).

So logic dictates that a decent driver who really knows his Transit could possibly take a numpty driver in a 911 (i.e. worse than even me!) given that Sabine would consider me one compared to her driving prowess.

For the record though: the best part of owning a Porsche (or any sports car imo) is for their cornering ability and I do tend to take corners much faster than many drivers even when I'm in a far slower car so the 911 is glorious. Straight line speed doesn't do much for me - albeit I do like to accelerate as fast as possible on an open road.

I don't do racing against others though and keep my speed thrills between myself and a nice twisty, open road.

[LoonR1]

CHN said:

I agree, but its only just as daft as defining the size of one's manhood by the car that they drive.

Bizarrely it seems to prompt a reaction though, does make you wonder if there's some truth to it.

[jamieduff1981]

LoonR1 said:

CHN said:

I agree, but its only just as daft as defining the size of one's manhood by the car that they drive.

Bizarrely it seems to prompt a reaction though, does make you wonder if there's some truth to it.

Wonder or hope?

[bqf]

Pistonheads should have a 'crap threads we keep forever' section, so that if anyone else thinks about posting drivel, they can read the worst of it before hitting 'submit'.

Worst thread on PH ever this one, and there have been some absolute Barry Crockers