Why are car keys so ugly?

[AH33]

alock said:

It's the size that annoys me. How does one key take up half the total volume of my bunch of keys. The other half can open my house & office, store 128GB of data, and be used to strip/rebuild an entire computer as well as open beer?



It should be no larger than my Victorinox Rambler penknife.

Does the end of the key on the left have a rude word on it?

[outspan]

I thought i was being an arrogant prick for feeling bad my M3 fob is no different than any other E9X BMW but seems many agree a this is a key part of the car ownership experience (no pun intended).

My self esteem just rose 3 points.

Key is still boring though

[kambites]

Draexin said:

K series Elise key and key fob are spectacularly hidious...

They are particularly bad. There are aftermarket options though:

http://www.elise-shop.com/nukey-kit-cobra-remote-c...

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Integrated-custom-FOB-ke...

Not cheap, though.

[spookly]

brushwood69 said:

Fitted most early fords!

Spot on. I once opened a knackered ford boot lid lock on an escort with the corner of a piece of metal sheet when my friend locked his keys in the car.... I'm still not sure how he managed that.

[ORD]

Dale487 said:

Theophany said:

Love that.

The current Porsche ones are a bit marmite.

I think the Porsche key's design makes it colour sensitive - some of the c£300 optional colour coded keys I seen look great & others look terrible (I do like the leather pouch they come in though)

Still much much worse than the actual KEYS that you got in the previous generation. All key fobs are utterly naff.

[j90gta]

AMGJocky said:

I've never really thought much about car keys.

Do really love the McLaren keys though!

Beam me up Scotty

[cybertrophic]

Agent XXX said:

The R33 GT-R key was as gorgeous and unfussy as the car was ugly and complex.

Simple, elegant, meaningful.

I love that key - so elegant. Titanium, too, I believe. I still need an R33 GTR in my life. Preferably in white or Midnight Purple...

[motoroller]

This one for me

[k-ink]

alock said:

It's the size that annoys me. How does one key take up half the total volume of my bunch of keys. The other half can open my house & office, store 128GB of data, and be used to strip/rebuild an entire computer as well as open beer?



It should be no larger than my Victorinox Rambler penknife.

I'm with you. There is simply no need for it. Look at all the tech which can be crammed into an iPod shuffle, or a watch. A digital key need not be that much thicker than a regular key. They must assume people want a daft hunk of crap to carry around. Also making it a flip key immediately makes it six times thicker for no benefit as well.

[kambites]

k-ink said:

I'm with you. There is simply no need for it. Look at all the tech which can be crammed into an iPod shuffle, or a watch. A digital keey need not be any thicker than a regular key. They must assume people want a daft hunk of crap to carry around.

And then they have the cheek to charge several hundred pounds for a replacement.

[k-ink]

Indeed. A small lump of metal, a watch battery and a hideous plastic box does not cost more than a tenner. Even if you stick a lump of crystal on the end and edge it in metal it wont be more than £30.

[Zod]

k-ink said:

Indeed. A small lump of metal, a watch battery and a hideous plastic box does not cost more than a tenner. Even if you stick a lump of crystal on the end and edge it in metal it wont be more than £30.

Try £700. Apart from the pretty shell and the nice lump of sapphire glass, there's almost nothing to it, other than a simple off the shelf RF unit.

[cybertrophic]

Jeenyus161 said:

You should be able to configure the key to match the car - this may just be my ocd coming out though. What do people think about finger print scanners? still have your start/stop button and an iphone style fingerprint recognition for entry.

I think Mercedes toyed with finger print scanners on the door handle, the issue was that you then needed it to read for a pulse/body temperature in order to prevent a carjacker hacking your finger off and driving the car away. It got very complicated very quickly and thus was abandoned.

[kambites]

You couldn't use finger print scanners as an only solution anyway; how would the MoT centre start the car to test it?

RFID is the sensible solution but there's no reason for the things to be anywhere near as big and cumbersome as they are.

[IceBoy]

Gad-Westy said:

johnnnnnnyy said:

Because most will be taken from the parts bin of their 'mother companies' and adapted, as per Aston Key (Ford).

In Aston's case, I understand they also rebranded it an 'Emotional Control Unit'. Keys are for plebs!

My favourite emotional control unit:

You have my key! LOL
IceBoy

[joshleb]

Renault contactless key wasn't the best.

Thin and flat, but just too big to fit into a wallet, but that in turn made it very bulky on a key ring.

Failed on both practical uses

[outspan]

joshleb said:

Renault contactless key wasn't the best.

Thin and flat, but just too big to fit into a wallet, but that in turn made it very bulky on a key ring.

Failed on both practical uses

+1

Plus, slides under everything being so flat, becomes near impossible to recover. Worst case in point: passenger chair of a Lotus Elise. Needs emergency brake stops to slip it back out.

[veccy208]

I find this works on most classic/pre 90s cars. Find it saves me on fuel, tax, insurance and wear and tear as I mostly use random cars i find on a quiet street.

[lewisco]

Dale487 said:

Volvo C30 - the worst looking key in the world?

Only made worse when it opens an Aston instead of a Volvo as previously mentioned. This is mine.

Also the key to the Westfield, which uses the MX-5 donor key.

[dlockhart]

joshleb said:

Renault contactless key wasn't the best.

Thin and flat, but just too big to fit into a wallet, but that in turn made it very bulky on a key ring.

Failed on both practical uses

I had the misfortune to hire a megan estate with these returned it at 8pm but the key was too big to fit into the Out-of-Hours key return box at the car rental. I had to get up and return the key before 8 am the next morning. I wasn't very happy about that.