What's the best/worst car related fib you've ever heard?
Discussion
Just last week someone at the pub was telling me how his previous boss had taken him out for a spin in his chavved up motor, which had culminated in a continuous lap of a roundabout, sideways, at 130mph.
The car that can achieve such an incredible feat?
Mitsi FTO
Yes they are all FWD and have just 200bhp at most as standard. I really couldn't be bothered to argue, I just nodded and drank my pint.
The car that can achieve such an incredible feat?
Mitsi FTO
Yes they are all FWD and have just 200bhp at most as standard. I really couldn't be bothered to argue, I just nodded and drank my pint.
C2HYM said:
Hitch78 said:
Almost off topic but one of my friends once said during a beers session 'that he'd seen a dog, a newfoundland I think, that he claimed was 'as big as a citroen saxo.'
Sorry, couldn't stop laughing at this. 
Aprisa said:
Mr POD said:
I once got a Fiat 126 up to 90 mph down ROSE Hill, Near longbridge. Stopping was not fun.
Always used to test any car I had bought up Rose Hill, if it went up in top gear without pinking or smoking then it was deemed ok!It was also the main hill that all the Longbridge testers used, suprised more people were not killed there. Plenty of holes in the Rose & Crown wall though!
Nick
There's a book in Rednal Libary about the history of Austin.
In one extract Lord Austin deemed that the spec for the new Seven was that it should be able to get up Rose Hill fully laden. His house was on the other side looking out towards Bromsgrove I think. ?
Mr Gear said:
morgrp said:
the resident tosser in my office reckons his Golf 1.6 Driver (mk2) can hit 60 in 6.9seconds - He claims he has had the "ECU" tuned even though its running on a carb! oh and a bog standard engine - When I offered him a quarter mile against an R26 F1 - he politely declined - WHAT A MORON!!!
My old bike had an ECU for the ignition but carbs for the fuel/air, so that bit isn't impossible. Also, no need for MkIIs to be slow either: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-dNDnXmXAQHowever, the chances are, the guy in your post was still talking crap!
If you do, I dont blame him for not wanting to race you. It is, afterall a racing car. A very successful one. A world championship winning car. Its a bit like Linford Christie saying to me "I bet I can beat you to the shops2 whuilst I'm walking with a load of shopping...
Some bloke my dad used to know claimed to be a car enthusiast.
One day the Lambo Espada somehow cropped up in conversation. I said something along the lines of there's nothing much cooler than a four seater 70's Lambo, to which he replied:
"The Espada didn't have four seats."
"I'm sure it did, are you thinking of the Countach", I politely came back with.
"No, the Espada definitely didn't have four seats".
"Sorry, I don't mean to be a bore on this but I was reading all about the Espada only a few days ago and it definitely had four seats. It was enormous."
"I should know how many seats it had, I used to own one!" He said this in a hugely patronizing tone and then laughed and shook his head at how ignorant I was.
At this point I just had to go after him no matter how embarassing it would become.
"Would you like to bet on it?" I ventured. "I bet you a thousand pounds. No make that ten thousand pounds. No hang on, I'll bet you my house that you are wrong".
He then tried to laugh it off whilst clearly feeling more than a little uncomfortable.
"Are you saying I don't know how many seats my car had?"
"No, I'm saying you are a terrible liar and have probably never even sat in an Espada let alone owned one"
At this point my dad decided it was time for us to go.....
One day the Lambo Espada somehow cropped up in conversation. I said something along the lines of there's nothing much cooler than a four seater 70's Lambo, to which he replied:
"The Espada didn't have four seats."
"I'm sure it did, are you thinking of the Countach", I politely came back with.
"No, the Espada definitely didn't have four seats".
"Sorry, I don't mean to be a bore on this but I was reading all about the Espada only a few days ago and it definitely had four seats. It was enormous."
"I should know how many seats it had, I used to own one!" He said this in a hugely patronizing tone and then laughed and shook his head at how ignorant I was.
At this point I just had to go after him no matter how embarassing it would become.
"Would you like to bet on it?" I ventured. "I bet you a thousand pounds. No make that ten thousand pounds. No hang on, I'll bet you my house that you are wrong".
He then tried to laugh it off whilst clearly feeling more than a little uncomfortable.
"Are you saying I don't know how many seats my car had?"
"No, I'm saying you are a terrible liar and have probably never even sat in an Espada let alone owned one"
At this point my dad decided it was time for us to go.....
Maldini35 said:
Some bloke my dad used to know claimed to be a car enthusiast.
One day the Lambo Espada somehow cropped up in conversation. I said something along the lines of there's nothing much cooler than a four seater 70's Lambo, to which he replied:
"The Espada didn't have four seats."
"I'm sure it did, are you thinking of the Countach", I politely came back with.
"No, the Espada definitely didn't have four seats".
"Sorry, I don't mean to be a bore on this but I was reading all about the Espada only a few days ago and it definitely had four seats. It was enormous."
"I should know how many seats it had, I used to own one!" He said this in a hugely patronizing tone and then laughed and shook his head at how ignorant I was.
At this point I just had to go after him no matter how embarassing it would become.
"Would you like to bet on it?" I ventured. "I bet you a thousand pounds. No make that ten thousand pounds. No hang on, I'll bet you my house that you are wrong".
He then tried to laugh it off whilst clearly feeling more than a little uncomfortable.
"Are you saying I don't know how many seats my car had?"
"No, I'm saying you are a terrible liar and have probably never even sat in an Espada let alone owned one"
At this point my dad decided it was time for us to go.....
The Espada wasn't the only 4 seat Lamborghini built in the 70's surely?One day the Lambo Espada somehow cropped up in conversation. I said something along the lines of there's nothing much cooler than a four seater 70's Lambo, to which he replied:
"The Espada didn't have four seats."
"I'm sure it did, are you thinking of the Countach", I politely came back with.
"No, the Espada definitely didn't have four seats".
"Sorry, I don't mean to be a bore on this but I was reading all about the Espada only a few days ago and it definitely had four seats. It was enormous."
"I should know how many seats it had, I used to own one!" He said this in a hugely patronizing tone and then laughed and shook his head at how ignorant I was.
At this point I just had to go after him no matter how embarassing it would become.
"Would you like to bet on it?" I ventured. "I bet you a thousand pounds. No make that ten thousand pounds. No hang on, I'll bet you my house that you are wrong".
He then tried to laugh it off whilst clearly feeling more than a little uncomfortable.
"Are you saying I don't know how many seats my car had?"
"No, I'm saying you are a terrible liar and have probably never even sat in an Espada let alone owned one"
At this point my dad decided it was time for us to go.....
williamp said:
Mr Gear said:
morgrp said:
the resident tosser in my office reckons his Golf 1.6 Driver (mk2) can hit 60 in 6.9seconds - He claims he has had the "ECU" tuned even though its running on a carb! oh and a bog standard engine - When I offered him a quarter mile against an R26 F1 - he politely declined - WHAT A MORON!!!
My old bike had an ECU for the ignition but carbs for the fuel/air, so that bit isn't impossible. Also, no need for MkIIs to be slow either: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-dNDnXmXAQHowever, the chances are, the guy in your post was still talking crap!
If you do, I dont blame him for not wanting to race you. It is, afterall a racing car. A very successful one. A world championship winning car. Its a bit like Linford Christie saying to me "I bet I can beat you to the shops2 whuilst I'm walking with a load of shopping...
tHang on, remembered some more! - My old boss Told two absolute crackers -
1) He had an old shape Range Rover Vogue - Totally standard car, and to be honest very nice too - but he told me in the model year that his was made, TVR did the engines in them and tuned them all up so his could crack 130mph....hmmm - (cue someone to tell me this was true)
2) He also once told me his boggo Triumph Stag was in a race with an AC Cobra 427 - Naturally the stag won and he got BL's finest up to around 145mph - Now, I have driven a Stag - you're looking @115mph tops - that is of course if it actually works long enough for you race someone -
1) He had an old shape Range Rover Vogue - Totally standard car, and to be honest very nice too - but he told me in the model year that his was made, TVR did the engines in them and tuned them all up so his could crack 130mph....hmmm - (cue someone to tell me this was true)
2) He also once told me his boggo Triumph Stag was in a race with an AC Cobra 427 - Naturally the stag won and he got BL's finest up to around 145mph - Now, I have driven a Stag - you're looking @115mph tops - that is of course if it actually works long enough for you race someone -
Fiddlemesticks said:
Car dealer once told me that the VW Golf Gti Mk3 8v was a lovely car to drive, just before i bought it.
lying.
lying
.
I hate it when salesmen say, "It's a lovely drive."
1) Let me be the judge of that.
2) I have a lovely drive; it has Japanese calligraphy that reads "Shadow Ninja" in rose pink brickwork on a sand brickwork background in a rose pink brick circle.
I may have told a porkie.
i worked with a guy-who always said he had a flash car but was never able to bring it into work for different reasons each week,even if it would take him 90mins on public transport and 20 to drive. Then 1 sunday he showed every one a picture of his brand new car which he had picked up the day before.It was a dark grey bmw conv.Several people siad it looked good etc,a few questions were asked-he then had to say it was not only his car but shared with his brother.A bit more pressing 'no its my cousins.'And suprise suprise after a bit more grilling it turns out it was a car he just stood next to in the street!He has since been sacked for telling lies!
i posted about this guy earlier ,just remembered this one. worked with the bloke and he constantly came up with bs ,mostly car related.
i asked him to man the phone while i went to the toilet.when i came back he was reading my car magazine which had a big feature on the then new bmw z8.oh yeah my mate has got 2 of those.one with venoms on it!
trouble was the car was so new the journos had flown out to germany to drive it
i asked him to man the phone while i went to the toilet.when i came back he was reading my car magazine which had a big feature on the then new bmw z8.oh yeah my mate has got 2 of those.one with venoms on it!
trouble was the car was so new the journos had flown out to germany to drive it
This thread is brilliant, I love the way everyone knows one of these liars... And if you don't it's you.
I need to get a colleague who is also a PH'er to tell some stories of a guy at our place who left just before I started.
Apprently though one day a group of my coleagues were discussing man mounted helicopter packs... to which he butted in...
"well all the back mounted helipcopter packs I flew blah blah blah"
Unbelievable
I need to get a colleague who is also a PH'er to tell some stories of a guy at our place who left just before I started.
Apprently though one day a group of my coleagues were discussing man mounted helicopter packs... to which he butted in...
"well all the back mounted helipcopter packs I flew blah blah blah"
Unbelievable
coleo said:
Someone I know who owns an E36 316i and truely believes it would embarrass alot of cars.
I had one of those, whilst you'd never call it quick, I bet it could run rings around the cars a lot of people in "that peer group" would drive. Remember, it'd be mostly up against 50-80BHP 1.1 hatchbacks and the like. With RWD, 100HP and a sorted chassis it'd do pretty well.Grew up with and used to work with a lad who thought he could get away with the following:
Rebadged E30 BMW 316 as a 325i and claimed the carb was actually the fuel injection
Rebadged a 735i as a 740i, turned up having had the car "looked at" so it now only had 200 miles on the clock, was in the middle of his bullst when I opened the bonnet and asked why his V8 BMW had a straight 6 in it!
Turned up one afternoon in a Karma kit car (looked like a Dino if you'd never seen a Dino!)and told me it was one of 12 racing ones made by the factory and one of two with a 4 cylinder engine at the front!
A few years later we'd both started actively trading cars and one day I showed him a copy of Classic and Sports car with a pretty decent looking Bugatti Type 37 lookalike kit car..........a month later he turns up in a "Bugatti Type 37" and spends a couple of hours trying to convince me that it isn’t the one in the magazine but a real one with an MGB engine in, yet it must be real as all the numbers match, would have helped if the number stamps weren’t still sitting on a workbench!
Funny thing was that his father used to have a genuine 37 and had kept a chassis plate for it (which was screwed to the firewall with drywall screws!) Allegedly the car was re-registered with the DVLA as a Bugatti and used to scam a semi decent reg plate off an old retention certificate his father had before vanishing in a warehouse fire!
I wasn’t staggeringly surprised when 5 or 6 years ago he was in the press having been found guilty of fraud
Rebadged E30 BMW 316 as a 325i and claimed the carb was actually the fuel injection
Rebadged a 735i as a 740i, turned up having had the car "looked at" so it now only had 200 miles on the clock, was in the middle of his bulls
t when I opened the bonnet and asked why his V8 BMW had a straight 6 in it!Turned up one afternoon in a Karma kit car (looked like a Dino if you'd never seen a Dino!)and told me it was one of 12 racing ones made by the factory and one of two with a 4 cylinder engine at the front!
A few years later we'd both started actively trading cars and one day I showed him a copy of Classic and Sports car with a pretty decent looking Bugatti Type 37 lookalike kit car..........a month later he turns up in a "Bugatti Type 37" and spends a couple of hours trying to convince me that it isn’t the one in the magazine but a real one with an MGB engine in, yet it must be real as all the numbers match, would have helped if the number stamps weren’t still sitting on a workbench!
Funny thing was that his father used to have a genuine 37 and had kept a chassis plate for it (which was screwed to the firewall with drywall screws!) Allegedly the car was re-registered with the DVLA as a Bugatti and used to scam a semi decent reg plate off an old retention certificate his father had before vanishing in a warehouse fire!
I wasn’t staggeringly surprised when 5 or 6 years ago he was in the press having been found guilty of fraud
Edited by AndrewW-G on Tuesday 30th September 19:43
I found a megga lease deal on a Citroen C Crosser last week (£160pm for a 2.2hdi) so I send the other half out to test drive it as she will be the main user.
Citroen Salesman "we have brought this car out at the wrong time"
Wife "Why"
Citroen Salesman "no one is buying them"
Wife comes home and tells me she wants somthing smaller.... Well Done Mr Salesman....
Citroen Salesman "we have brought this car out at the wrong time"
Wife "Why"
Citroen Salesman "no one is buying them"
Wife comes home and tells me she wants somthing smaller.... Well Done Mr Salesman....
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