"New baby forces sale"
Discussion
stormy22 said:
I have never understood this 'I pay for, you pay for' crap. Husband and wife is just that. My wife and I have always had the 'This is our money, who-ever earns what, it just goes into one big pot'. Thats wha marriage and partnership is all about. If she wants something, we briefly discuss it, she gets it. If I want something, same thing happens, never a problem.
We have a joint bills account for the mortgage, etc. I transfer an amount from my current account each month. The rest of my money is mine and vice versa for her. A joint bank account for everything is 
stormy22 said:
I have never understood this 'I pay for, you pay for' crap. Husband and wife is just that. My wife and I have always had the 'This is our money, who-ever earns what, it just goes into one big pot'. Thats wha marriage and partnership is all about. If she wants something, we briefly discuss it, she gets it. If I want something, same thing happens, never a problem.
Precisely. If you've got separate bank accounts etc. then it shows a lack of commitment and trust IMO. My partner and I share a current account and we're not even married. If there's something we want, we work together to try and get it.One of the couple staying at home and looking after the kids is a full time job itself and no less important than the one that brings the money in. Both should be entitled to an equal say when it comes to finances...
...I just don't understand some people though, I'll admit that right off the bat.
Clivey said:
stormy22 said:
I have never understood this 'I pay for, you pay for' crap. Husband and wife is just that. My wife and I have always had the 'This is our money, who-ever earns what, it just goes into one big pot'. Thats wha marriage and partnership is all about. If she wants something, we briefly discuss it, she gets it. If I want something, same thing happens, never a problem.
Precisely. If you've got separate bank accounts etc. then it shows a lack of commitment and trust IMO. My partner and I share a current account and we're not even married. If there's something we want, we work together to try and get it.One of the couple staying at home and looking after the kids is a full time job itself and no less important than the one that brings the money in. Both should be entitled to an equal say when it comes to finances...
...I just don't understand some people though, I'll admit that right off the bat.
If you got dusted down, you'd have thumb prints all over your forehead
St John Smythe said:
Oh dear......
If you got dusted down, you'd have thumb prints all over your forehead
Oh?If you got dusted down, you'd have thumb prints all over your forehead
We don't have kids (or any plans along those lines). We both work at the moment but if in the future it was decided that I would be the one staying at home (which is possible), I'd still want an equal say in money matters.
As it is, I'm using the excuse of getting a dog to justify the purchase of a Land Rover (whilst keeping the BMW), so I don't feel too hard done by.
aww999 said:
aww999 - "Unfortunately, I gave up my job and she kept hers, so I have absolutely no say in the matter; and her buying an Ultima for me to play with is quite unlikely."
aww999 - hello, this is your wife here. A few points I would like to clarify.
1. You haven't got an Ultima because we already own three cars, my one and then your two - the 4litre Lexus which I pay to fill up at £130 a time (I do love it though) and the MR2. We have no room in the garage. I have not asked you to sell the MR2, but you said you wanted to. Sell it and buy an Ultima if you want, I don't care, it's your money! (How much are they??)
2. Thank you for giving up your job to help me with the baby when I had severe PND. I'm sorry it has ruined your car-owning ambitions. But as you said at the time you earned naff all anyway and hated your job so it wasn't all bad.
3. We don't have any spare money for me to buy you any more cars. I pay for everything you spend every month, however much it is. I have to nag you for you to tot it all up and give me a figure. I pay the petrol, insurance and road tax on two cars and nearly all the household bills, for some reason you want to pay for the Sky and Broadband yourself although I have offered! I pay for your part time masters at £1500 a semester, and paid several grand to put you through an OU degree before that - gladly, as it is an investment in both our futures. Because you go to lectures two days a week I am also paying £540 a month in nursery fees, plus your travel to uni, and mine to work, which as you know is extortionate. I am part time so we can split the raising of our son more equitably, but that's meant things are even more stretched. As you know, I spend very little on myself because I don't think that's right - all my spare cash goes on you, our son or the household, or cheap holidays for us both. Any money I do get goes straight into savings for the two goals WE AGREED - a better house and possibly also a better education for our son, because yours was in your own words, lousy and you are still paying for that now.
Do you honestly believe you get NO say in where the money goes, and that I am swanning around with s
tloads of cash, not giving it to you to spend on cars because I am a selfish heartless cow? Come on, FFS.
Going to bed now, can you lock up downstairs? Thanks xxx
Dear god, give the guy some privacy, can't even surf the web without the old lady checking up on him!aww999 - hello, this is your wife here. A few points I would like to clarify.
1. You haven't got an Ultima because we already own three cars, my one and then your two - the 4litre Lexus which I pay to fill up at £130 a time (I do love it though) and the MR2. We have no room in the garage. I have not asked you to sell the MR2, but you said you wanted to. Sell it and buy an Ultima if you want, I don't care, it's your money! (How much are they??)
2. Thank you for giving up your job to help me with the baby when I had severe PND. I'm sorry it has ruined your car-owning ambitions. But as you said at the time you earned naff all anyway and hated your job so it wasn't all bad.
3. We don't have any spare money for me to buy you any more cars. I pay for everything you spend every month, however much it is. I have to nag you for you to tot it all up and give me a figure. I pay the petrol, insurance and road tax on two cars and nearly all the household bills, for some reason you want to pay for the Sky and Broadband yourself although I have offered! I pay for your part time masters at £1500 a semester, and paid several grand to put you through an OU degree before that - gladly, as it is an investment in both our futures. Because you go to lectures two days a week I am also paying £540 a month in nursery fees, plus your travel to uni, and mine to work, which as you know is extortionate. I am part time so we can split the raising of our son more equitably, but that's meant things are even more stretched. As you know, I spend very little on myself because I don't think that's right - all my spare cash goes on you, our son or the household, or cheap holidays for us both. Any money I do get goes straight into savings for the two goals WE AGREED - a better house and possibly also a better education for our son, because yours was in your own words, lousy and you are still paying for that now.
Do you honestly believe you get NO say in where the money goes, and that I am swanning around with s
tloads of cash, not giving it to you to spend on cars because I am a selfish heartless cow? Come on, FFS.Going to bed now, can you lock up downstairs? Thanks xxx
Since you asked, Mrs aww999, a used Ultima is about £30,000 - £45,000, depending on spec and condition. A new one, to build yourself, is £70,000+.
sutts said:
He's almost instantly asleep in it! I think it's the 'Miltek lullaby' at work....
(and nothing to do with boring Audis!)
My Volvo's exhaust had the same effect. I definitely recommend getting a sports exhaust for the family wagon (and nothing to do with boring Audis!)
http://youtu.be/XeCwbFtW2g8
Clivey said:
Precisely. If you've got separate bank accounts etc. then it shows a lack of commitment and trust IMO. My partner and I share a current account and we're not even married. If there's something we want, we work together to try and get it.
.
This is pretty much how we are, not married but have joint accounts and have done for years. We bought a house together after all, the one stipulation was I kept the TVR.... I was going to start a new thread to ask about whether people have separate bank accounts as well..........
aww999 said:
aww999 - "Unfortunately, I gave up my job and she kept hers, so I have absolutely no say in the matter; and her buying an Ultima for me to play with is quite unlikely."
aww999 - hello, this is your wife here. A few points I would like to clarify.
1. You haven't got an Ultima because we already own three cars, my one and then your two - the 4litre Lexus which I pay to fill up at £130 a time (I do love it though) and the MR2. We have no room in the garage. I have not asked you to sell the MR2, but you said you wanted to. Sell it and buy an Ultima if you want, I don't care, it's your money! (How much are they??)
2. Thank you for giving up your job to help me with the baby when I had severe PND. I'm sorry it has ruined your car-owning ambitions. But as you said at the time you earned naff all anyway and hated your job so it wasn't all bad.
3. We don't have any spare money for me to buy you any more cars. I pay for everything you spend every month, however much it is. I have to nag you for you to tot it all up and give me a figure. I pay the petrol, insurance and road tax on two cars and nearly all the household bills, for some reason you want to pay for the Sky and Broadband yourself although I have offered! I pay for your part time masters at £1500 a semester, and paid several grand to put you through an OU degree before that - gladly, as it is an investment in both our futures. Because you go to lectures two days a week I am also paying £540 a month in nursery fees, plus your travel to uni, and mine to work, which as you know is extortionate. I am part time so we can split the raising of our son more equitably, but that's meant things are even more stretched. As you know, I spend very little on myself because I don't think that's right - all my spare cash goes on you, our son or the household, or cheap holidays for us both. Any money I do get goes straight into savings for the two goals WE AGREED - a better house and possibly also a better education for our son, because yours was in your own words, lousy and you are still paying for that now.
Do you honestly believe you get NO say in where the money goes, and that I am swanning around with stloads of cash, not giving it to you to spend on cars because I am a selfish heartless cow? Come on, FFS.
Going to bed now, can you lock up downstairs? Thanks xxx
This is why I am single, and why I don't use auto-login aww999 - hello, this is your wife here. A few points I would like to clarify.
1. You haven't got an Ultima because we already own three cars, my one and then your two - the 4litre Lexus which I pay to fill up at £130 a time (I do love it though) and the MR2. We have no room in the garage. I have not asked you to sell the MR2, but you said you wanted to. Sell it and buy an Ultima if you want, I don't care, it's your money! (How much are they??)
2. Thank you for giving up your job to help me with the baby when I had severe PND. I'm sorry it has ruined your car-owning ambitions. But as you said at the time you earned naff all anyway and hated your job so it wasn't all bad.
3. We don't have any spare money for me to buy you any more cars. I pay for everything you spend every month, however much it is. I have to nag you for you to tot it all up and give me a figure. I pay the petrol, insurance and road tax on two cars and nearly all the household bills, for some reason you want to pay for the Sky and Broadband yourself although I have offered! I pay for your part time masters at £1500 a semester, and paid several grand to put you through an OU degree before that - gladly, as it is an investment in both our futures. Because you go to lectures two days a week I am also paying £540 a month in nursery fees, plus your travel to uni, and mine to work, which as you know is extortionate. I am part time so we can split the raising of our son more equitably, but that's meant things are even more stretched. As you know, I spend very little on myself because I don't think that's right - all my spare cash goes on you, our son or the household, or cheap holidays for us both. Any money I do get goes straight into savings for the two goals WE AGREED - a better house and possibly also a better education for our son, because yours was in your own words, lousy and you are still paying for that now.
Do you honestly believe you get NO say in where the money goes, and that I am swanning around with s
tloads of cash, not giving it to you to spend on cars because I am a selfish heartless cow? Come on, FFS.Going to bed now, can you lock up downstairs? Thanks xxx
RedAlfa said:
Clivey said:
Precisely. If you've got separate bank accounts etc. then it shows a lack of commitment and trust IMO.
It gets very interesting when the two parties split up ... the bank account gets "emptied" out of sheer spite!Mike
Rushmore said:
The guy should be very happy - and very quiet - that his wife acts as an ATM on two legs and keeps the system going while he is going back to uni again.
Hmmm, I left school with 9 GCSE's all pretty average scores when I was 16. I have worked constantly in various jobs since then... for 22 years. Whilst working I did a B-Tec Business & Finance. 4 NVQ's in Business and Management. NVQ Assessors award. HNC in Childhood & Youth Studies. BA Childhood,Youth and Psychology. A level Law, Art Therapy, Autism, physical disengagement and Bereavement specialist training and a TESOL Diploma. (plus various work courses)...all whilst working to earn money, as well as being in the TA, and an Army Cadet Instructor and platoon commander.OK, at times it was hard but I did it...and I'm no genius. It CAN be done. Training, earn money, get what car you like!
Edited by stormy22 on Sunday 30th December 10:10
My other half has had to use the 205 everything fitted. Once babies. Was forward facing we moved car seat to passenger seat. She loves this as she can see everything. However. Just bought a 405 to run over winters so I can get the small jobs done on the 205. Never understood people who sell using baby as an excuse.
However I think it also comes from the fact that all her friends insist on having mpv with one kid!
However I think it also comes from the fact that all her friends insist on having mpv with one kid!
S10GTA said:
Priorities.
I sold the GTA because I couldn't justify the running costs with a little person to feed. 2 more days to go till arrival day (hopefully)
I sold the GTA because I couldn't justify the running costs with a little person to feed. 2 more days to go till arrival day (hopefully)
fking hell, how much do they eat?! I thought it was a couple of pots of mushy carrots and a suck on a tit, now I find out it's more crippling than £1.40/l of V-Power!xRIEx said:
S10GTA said:
Priorities.
I sold the GTA because I couldn't justify the running costs with a little person to feed. 2 more days to go till arrival day (hopefully)
I sold the GTA because I couldn't justify the running costs with a little person to feed. 2 more days to go till arrival day (hopefully)
fking hell, how much do they eat?! I thought it was a couple of pots of mushy carrots and a suck on a tit, now I find out it's more crippling than £1.40/l of V-Power!S10GTA said:
xRIEx said:
S10GTA said:
Priorities.
I sold the GTA because I couldn't justify the running costs with a little person to feed. 2 more days to go till arrival day (hopefully)
I sold the GTA because I couldn't justify the running costs with a little person to feed. 2 more days to go till arrival day (hopefully)
fking hell, how much do they eat?! I thought it was a couple of pots of mushy carrots and a suck on a tit, now I find out it's more crippling than £1.40/l of V-Power!h who didn’t work and did next to nothing with the children…but that’s another story lol. That would be the only good reason for selling a loved car, losing a big monthly paycheck if someone has to give up work to take care of the baby and losing half or a percentage of the household income.
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