Rubbish cars you just bonded with

Rubbish cars you just bonded with

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RoverP6B

4,338 posts

130 months

Wednesday 7th June 2017
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God help me, it's this piece of crap.


I know, I know. E39s aren't crap. Except this one. My utter shed of an Oxford Green 520i 2.2 Touring. That photo was taken when I first got it about 8 years ago. Since then, it's lunched two clutches, one alternator and a complete engine, and now it's starting to rust. It's covered in scratches and small dents, the paint is chipped and even starting to fall off in places, the offside front corner of the bonnet doesn't seat right, the rear wiper arm broke (cheap ste plastic part) and the bearing is seized, both rear air springs collapsed in quick succession at one point, forcing me to drive home to Surrey from Didcot with effectively no rear suspension... elder son in the back was not amused! It did its best (when the original engine was dying) to choke me with oil fumes, the rubber door seals are disintegrating and various bits of interior plastic have fallen off/to bits (mainly door kick plates and the infamous E39 cupholders). But, it just doesn't matter. It's been mostly dependable (in that it's rarely left me stranded), characterful family transport, it goes sideways nicely, the straight six sounds lovely at any RPM (especially north of 6k), it's oh so refined and comfortable, I have verified its claimed 139mph V-max, got a best-ever MPG of 41 calculated over a 100+mph run to Oxford, the ride and handling are both still excellent, it's hauled any amount of crap (including at one point all four of us and a tumble dryer) and I'd be utterly lost without it. It keeps passing MoTs and the rust hasn't reached anything structural yet, so I envisage keeping it for a long while yet and hopefully treating it at some point to a proper restoration, to get it back to the condition it was in when the above photograph was taken.

Oh, and the point came in autumn 2014 when I needed another car. I'd subjected myself to five and a half years of misery chasing one problem after another with the E39. So, what did I do? I went on eBay and bought another E39, without even going to see it first. I'm in Surrey, it's in South Devon. So, my son and I bought one-way train tickets, rode the South Devon steam railway until it closed, got the last bus from the end of the line to the next village, and mentally committed to buying the car even if it turned out to be a total heap. It wasn't. It was at 99,975 miles, in beautiful nick and with new radiator, engine belts and some suspension bits. Just under 600 quid later, this 535i (eBay pic shown) was mine...


...and honestly, I can't see myself ever parting from it either. God, I love this thing. So far, nothing has gone horrendously wrong with it. Did leave me stranded once when a pressure hose popped off, but otherwise it's been totally dependable. It sounds glorious, it's so comfy, the steering (yes, recirculating ball) is even nicer than the 520i's, the handling is a little more nose-heavy but a bit of throttle soon brings it into line... no rot, though it's picked up a big scrape down the LHS sill... it's not even thirstier than the 520i, which tends to get thrashed. Usual ste plastic door kickplates, the cupholders are all broken and there's a fair bit of pixel death on the LCDs, plus I do wish it did more than 28mpg, but so what the hell, it's a V8 barge for 600 quid, it's cost me peanuts in maintenance over the last two and a half years, and I can't conceive what could suit my needs better, other than something like a Range Rover, as the E39 is a bit low-slung for this decrepit 60-year-old to get in and out of... got half an eye on an L322 with the BMW M62B44... but not even that could part me from these two old sheds. Both my sons are as barmy about them as I am too, they've let it be known in no uncertain terms that these are family heirlooms.

SilverSixer

8,202 posts

153 months

Wednesday 7th June 2017
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PurpleTurtle said:
Me old mucker SilverSixer above will love this.

In December 1998 I became the proud owner of a 'B' plate red Volvo 343 DL Variomatic - the pensioner's pensionermobile.

I was motorbike commuting at the time, couldn't afford to run a car after some bd had nicked my Metro GTa and written it off on Shepherd's Bush Green, so was freezing my tits off on a twelve mile commute with some stty cheap gloves on. Most nights I had to stop 2/3 of the way home to warm my hands on the bike engine.

The Aussie bloke I sat next to at work had this Volvo, he was returning home to Sydney. He wanted 300 quid for it, to get rid by the weekend. I offered him the 200 quid I had in savings, he took pity on me and the deal was done there and then, sight unseen. Well, I had technically seen him arrive in the car park in it, but just took him at his word that it was regularly serviced, had 11 months MOT and was just taxed for the year, that was included.

What. A. Car! Slow, heavy, thirsty, bounced around like a kangaroo on a spacehopper, was totally uncool for a 25yo bloke to be running around in but Jesus, it was warm (oh so, so warm), comfy as hell, hewn from granite, nobody but nobody ever tried to cut me up in it, could leave it anywhere without fear of it getting nicked, it never went wrong in my year of ownership. Rear end could be made to drift with accompanying whine on a sufficiently damp roundabout, much hilarity doing that whenever I could!

That year went well and I made enough to buy a new BMW on the drip. I had no need for the dear old Volvo any more, so I gave it away to my then-girlfriend's industrial placement student called Anna, a beautiful blonde who too didn't suit the car but needed wheels to visit her folks in Devon. Last I heard the old Variomatic box expired on the A303 somewhere near Stonehenge, after recovery it was given the last rites and consigned to the scrapper. I must admit to feeling a tad sad at its eventual demise, and always smile on the infrequent occasion that I see one on the road these days.

Edited by PurpleTurtle on Tuesday 6th June 18:22
bow

As you know, PT, I had a 360 - a 2-litre manual 3-door in metallic green with beige velour interior. Purchased for £150, including a year's MOT and £100 worth of VED. Essentially, a £50 motor. I commuted in it from Reading to Maidstone for a year, never went wrong. Replaced it with a Volvo 480 just because I could after a year and gave it to a friend who'd just stacked his Sierra with only 3rd party cover and lost it. He got another 6 months out of it before getting back on his financial feet automotively speaking. Was an utterly great car and has spawned a total love of the model ever since. To the extent that I bought a mint 360 GLE SEi saloon a few years ago as a hobby/fun car. Sold it one when money got a bit tighter, but loved the old thing. Would have another in a heartbeat.

PotatoSalad

601 posts

85 months

Wednesday 7th June 2017
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CDP said:
PotatoSalad said:
Decky_Q said:
I love my Fiat 126p Elegance. It is very involving as it feels like a road legal quad with 4 seats (and drum brakes), the engine is noisy with manual choke, the lights get brighter and dimmer with engine revs, its too small and the seats are fixed back, the 10" tyres have a smaller contact patch than my bicycle, 4 speed box with no rev limiter at all, there's no weight on the front so you have to use your bodyweight for spirited driving, if it slides (RWD) then its a pendulum with engine gearbox etc all at the back.

I love it, I bought it for £300 when they were out of fashion and have been offered £3k for it since and declined. This one is a keeper.
There's nothing rubbish about the 126p, it was the Mini of Eastern Europe capable of carrying a family of four plus luggage and a dog for a 2-week holiday. I've got huge respect for those things.





  • but yeah, these are a bit crap. wink
To get a family of four and a dog for a two week holiday in one of them they'd have to be midgets with a lapdog that rarely change their clothes smile

I'm just shy of six foot and when driving the 126 the driver's seat is 2" from the back seat. Certainly no room for legs. The boot in the front is tiny; it has to be as your feet are underneath it.

Huge fun but Minis and Hillman Imps have far more space.
A friend of mine got his grandfather's 126 when he passed his driving test and he'd give us a lift to high school in it (15 miles each way), no problem carrying 2+2 nearly adults. Two young kids should have plenty of room on the back seats and you can easily fit the luggage in a roof box.

I recall my missus mentioning travelling from eastern Poland to Disneyland in Paris in a car, but perhaps it was a larger 125p, I'll ask her.


Fun little cars, got a bit of a cult classic status in Poland now so people do some crazy things with them, like drop a motorbike engine for rallysprint:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdBuwzRAEAw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ztg-B6v6rQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjqEPF7y81M


And then there's this guy...

rofl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aEXIXRcPA8

Edited by PotatoSalad on Wednesday 7th June 10:59

brickiebrownie

7 posts

93 months

Wednesday 7th June 2017
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Stopgap as I was selling the wifes hatefully expensive XC60. 180,000 miles and a body state that doesn't leave much damage to do. But...., its still a big comfy Saab that will scare a Golf GTi and waft about all day. and the sat nav does full postcodes! (read it and learn Audi,BMW,Volvo.....)

CDP

7,469 posts

256 months

Thursday 8th June 2017
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sortedcossie said:
LewisR said:
1987 Ford Granada Scorpio.
All the handling of a boat. I love it. It's like an old pair of slippers that you just can't bring yourself to throw out.
Bought it for £600 about 3 years ago. Just keeping on top of the rust.
2.9 V6 just goes and goes and goes. It has electric front and rear seats. Electric sunroof, all windows and a trip computer.
No Blue Tooth though.




'80s Velour
much retro awesomeness for so few £££

That looks in tidy shape beer
I had a blue Scorpio 2.9 auto. Slow, no regards to style inside but oh so comfortable. Better on petrol than you'd expect too.

My Rover 820Si (manual) was faster, handled better and was so much more stylish.

The £80 BL Princess 2.2 was probably the pick of the three barges. Smoother ride, better engine and a more stylish interior than either of the other two. Most reliable and rust resistant of the three as well.

Actually I liked both of them.

Parts and servicing aside (which the Granny has to be best for?) I'd be happy to drive any of them.



katz

147 posts

94 months

Thursday 8th June 2017
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.


Now, this really is a pile of Crap smile Felicia combi, 1997. I bought it a year ago while looking for a replacement for the Alfa 155 that I gave to my daughter. £300. It is slow, has lots of body roll and the arches are rusting. However the 1.9 N/A diesel has only 70K, and in the 15K miles I have put on it, the car has started every morning, even after being left for a long time. Needed a cambelt so took it to my local guy, while it was there asked them to see what it would need doing for the MOT upcoming in a couple of weeks. Not a thing. No rust other than the arches, emissions are spot on, engine runs sweet for what it is. Not needed any parts, uses 1 ltr oil every 2500 miles, 60mpg. This does feel like a motor that will go on for ever. Felicia seems to be a go to banger smile

Edited by katz on Thursday 8th June 15:17

vixen71

12 posts

134 months

Thursday 8th June 2017
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2001 Citroen Xsara Picasso 2.0 Diesel

Bought new for a period of 60m commuting shared with 3 colleagues, mainly for the economy, relative comfort and space. Still have it as it's the most versatile and reliable car I've ever owned. It's now my hack and pseudo van, I don't care much if it gets a few dibs, it's cheap to run and usually doesn't need much work (which I do myself) to get through MOTs.

In the interim I've had a TVR S which I had to rebuild, wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be, a nearly new Toyota Yaris, which was the worst car I have ever owned, truly awful, lost lots on that as I just had to get rid after 8 months. A new C3 Picasso, which was great but started to make a worrying transmission noise after 4 years so was quickly part exed for a new Qashqai, which is excellent, British made and solid - although my wife hates it. All through those the boring old Picasso has gone on and on for 16 years and will remain with me until MOTs become too much of a hassle/expensive.

Definitely bonded with it, will be genuinely upset when it expires.

DailyHack

3,233 posts

113 months

Friday 9th June 2017
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Had this for 8 years (impulse buy...or, red wined one friday night induced purchase) can't seem to part with it...slow, small, unrefined, noisy, smelly but I love its little bug face....keeps passing its MOT aswell, but again there is not much to check on it! Bit dog eared if you get up close to it, suppose its 51 years old now



Edited by DailyHack on Friday 9th June 12:59

ASA569

447 posts

91 months

Saturday 10th June 2017
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Jackspistonheadsaccount said:
I've been waiting for this thread!

The car in question is a red 02 plate Fiat Seicento 1.1. With blue cloth interior laugh

The car was bought for £900 with only 25,000 on it, way back in 2013. My dad bought it so he didn't have to drive the Cayman through the winter, with the view for me to learn in when I turned 17. I passed within three months and drove it for a year, on my 18th it became mine and I drove it for the remaining few months until it was sold back to my parents the day I picked up an Alfa. It's relegated to tip runs as well as the odd run to work, until the day the fuel tank split and it was sidelined at about 45,000 miles and replaced with a punto, which is nowhere near as loved by me or my dad.

About two months ago I took a look at it, ordered a new fuel tank, new fan belt, and a few other bits and some scuffed kuncles and swearing later we're up and running again biggrin. Rear brakes still need sorting as if you put the handbrake on it requires pliers to take it off again laugh from there an MOT, tax and insurance and I'll be behind the squidy two pronged wheel again, trying to avoid pressing all the pedals at once laugh

Its a shed, its scratched and dented, it had 50 ish bhp 15 years ago, the steering is vauge, the gear lever is worse still, and the brakes leave a lot to be desired too, but there's something about it that just makes both me and my dad smile about it. I'd hate to see the day it has to go

There's a yellow seicento sporting on my driveway that hasn't gone anywhere under it's own power for a few years now but for some reason we just won't let it go. Every year the aim is to get it back on the road and every year something else crops up. I know we should sell it on to someone with the time to fix it but...

Davie

4,786 posts

217 months

Saturday 10th June 2017
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My beloved old Volvo V70 T5... bought for £400 two years ago to do a banger rally, came back, drove it daily, went back to Germany, drove it some more, toured the Outer Herbrides, drove it some more, threw stuff in it, stood on it, slept in it, used it as my wedding car, been numerous trips to England and has cost next to nothing in 30k. Bit tired looking now, beige interior is horrific, not very driver focused but utterly utterly brilliant car. Recently sold a Cavalier I owned for nigh on 20 years without so much as a sniffle but the thought of parting with my old V70, I'd need therapy and a hug.

siovey

1,653 posts

140 months

Saturday 10th June 2017
quotequote all
I had a mk 4 golf gt tdi a couple of years back. I expected to hate it after having to sell my m3 just prior. I quite liked it in the end. It was comfy and went well. I got rid as I got bored of it and could then afford something better. I'd definitely have another

Threadbear

58 posts

96 months

Tuesday 13th June 2017
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When I first went on the railway back in the late BR days I got a Renault 11GTD and it was truly hideous. The electric did weird st like when the heater fan was going with the wipers on, the hazard lights would occasionally flash. But it started every morning. The passenger seat was broken too. The cabling for the gearchange broke and had to be recovered by the AA but I kept it for a year and took me all over Kent. Despite being junk it had character.

CDP

7,469 posts

256 months

Wednesday 14th June 2017
quotequote all
PotatoSalad said:
A friend of mine got his grandfather's 126 when he passed his driving test and he'd give us a lift to high school in it (15 miles each way), no problem carrying 2+2 nearly adults. Two young kids should have plenty of room on the back seats and you can easily fit the luggage in a roof box.

I recall my missus mentioning travelling from eastern Poland to Disneyland in Paris in a car, but perhaps it was a larger 125p, I'll ask her.


Fun little cars, got a bit of a cult classic status in Poland now so people do some crazy things with them, like drop a motorbike engine for rallysprint:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdBuwzRAEAw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ztg-B6v6rQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjqEPF7y81M


And then there's this guy...

rofl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aEXIXRcPA8

Edited by PotatoSalad on Wednesday 7th June 10:59
Mad mice.

ChiggyWiggy

60 posts

85 months

Wednesday 14th June 2017
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jsims1 said:
After having a car written off on 2008 i was in desperate need of transport for work, got offered a 1994 Ford Mondeo 1.8 TD saloon for £300 from a work mates mother and snapped their arm off.

It had 180k on the clock, the turbo either didn't work or was seriously under powered and it was winter and the heating didn't work but despite all its flaws, it was quite possibly the most comfy car I've ever driven, never asked for anything spent on it and cost peanuts to fuel. Best £300 motor ever. Period.
Better £200 motor:


ChiggyWiggy

60 posts

85 months

Wednesday 14th June 2017
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A900ss said:
1.2 diesel eco version


My wife's car and I took it on a Euro road trip last year to the Alps when I was in between jobs. Loved it.

Did a similar road trip this year in a Merc C Class and just didn't connect with the trip in the same way. The crapness of the Ibiza made it feel like I was driving rather than being driven.
Sometimes you just need a stbox for the mountain trips:


ChiggyWiggy

60 posts

85 months

Wednesday 14th June 2017
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JD2329 said:
2000 (W) Nissan Primera 2.0 CVT, bought with 195000 on the clock for £225.
Gave it all the rubbish trips plus quite a few long journeys.
Everything worked - even the air con!

Not as good a drivers car as the P10 I had before, but its stoical nature worked its way under your skin, it would always come back for more. And you could leave it absolutely anywhere worry free, even unlocked (by accident) once in London.

Ended up lasting three years until 220000 miles when the starter went and a leaky sump was making rather a mess of the driveway. Scrapped for £140.
Won't see its like again.
My first car was a 140k £600 P10... but the eGT.. Some saw it as a taxi, but I knew different


CDP

7,469 posts

256 months

Wednesday 14th June 2017
quotequote all
ChiggyWiggy said:
A900ss said:
1.2 diesel eco version


My wife's car and I took it on a Euro road trip last year to the Alps when I was in between jobs. Loved it.

Did a similar road trip this year in a Merc C Class and just didn't connect with the trip in the same way. The crapness of the Ibiza made it feel like I was driving rather than being driven.
Sometimes you just need a stbox for the mountain trips:

Sorry but that's not a rubbish car.

TONKA2

168 posts

119 months

Wednesday 14th June 2017
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Klippie said:
In 2004 I was in between good cars at the time and needed transport ASAP trawling through the local classified ad's I spotted a 2001 Blue Skoda Felicia 1.9D (no turbo) 27k miles from new up for £1750, I went for a look it was no oil painting but it was all there managed to haggle down to £1500...after a few weeks driving around I loved it, basic car, solidly put together, did over 50mpg, furnace for a heater, I even got my money back when I sold it.

Looked like this...

I blew my FTO up and rang my trader mate in desperate need of transport. He told me he had a cheap snotter but I wouldn't want it. It was a red faded to pink 1.3 Felicia. I gave him £80 as an emergency put me on and ended up running it for three years. Brilliant little car that I absolutely loved!

Byker28i

61,066 posts

219 months

Thursday 15th June 2017
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a renault Espace mk2


Loved that car even though it was like a greenhouse in hot weather (no aircon). Versatile (seats out it was a van), 30mpg on a run, reasonable performance as it was light with it's 2.0 petrol engine
We'd take two seats out for the holidays in france, big roofbox, fill it with wine etc for the trip home. I was upset when my wife dropped it down a ditch, even more upset when she accepted the offer of a tractor driver to drag it out, then drove it home with the front full of mud until it overheated and died.

Morningside

24,111 posts

231 months

Thursday 15th June 2017
quotequote all
Byker28i said:
a renault Espace mk2


Loved that car even though it was like a greenhouse in hot weather (no aircon). Versatile (seats out it was a van), 30mpg on a run, reasonable performance as it was light with it's 2.0 petrol engine
We'd take two seats out for the holidays in france, big roofbox, fill it with wine etc for the trip home. I was upset when my wife dropped it down a ditch, even more upset when she accepted the offer of a tractor driver to drag it out, then drove it home with the front full of mud until it overheated and died.
They are such a lovely soft ride.