Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 18]

[Derventio]

Slightly above thread budget but maybe could be haggled down close.

Another lovely E34 with a small (but sonorous) 6 pot. this time with added usefulness and lovely wheels. I don't think I have ever seen those wheels before. Are they Alloys or hubcaps?

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1995-BMW-E34-520i-SE-TO...

There appears to be far more E34s cropping up close to thread budget, lately.

Incidentally, When I was a teenager, still living back home with my parents,(about 1988ish) Our next door neighbour had an E30 320i Lux Touring in a dark metallic green colour. It was absolutely gorgeous and was one of the best sounding cars in our street.

**Derventio dashes off to search for E30 Tourings for sale!**

Edited by Derventio on Tuesday 23 February 08:22

Edited by Derventio on Tuesday 23 February 08:23

[harrykul]

They're e32 750i wheels. Never seen them on an e34 before.

[LetsTryAgain]

harrykul said:

They're e32 750i wheels. Never seen them on an e34 before.

Beard.

[Stuart70]

LetsTryAgain said:

harrykul said:

They're e32 750i wheels. Never seen them on an e34 before.

Beard.

Flirt.

[TyrannosauRoss Lex]

W00DY said:

mondayo said:

Not a barge but I like it, mainly because VW had a Golf and still decided to make this too.

I'm posting it because 3.6 V6 and red leather. It's just in budget.


https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202102038...

That is so st in every possible way. I get stick for some of the stuff that I post, but nothing has annoyed me more than the fact some of you like this hopeless fking skip of a car.

Maybe so, but it's better than an ancient 2 litre Granada

[McGee_22]

Just posted on WorldBoss's thread and also want to pass on my salutations.

In my barge news a small hydraulic leak on the E38 toward the end of last year was identified as a slightly crusty supply pipe to the self-levelling rear shocks - my feeble attempts to fix it just chased and exposed further and bigger leaks and more corrosion... perhaps due to the lifetime the car spent in Aberdeen...

Admitting defeat I sent it, by transporter as it was now squirting green fluid over the drive and garage, to 'The Man' with some guidance to have a look at all the fore and aft pipework and see what needs doing. Just over £3k later I had new front to back fuel, brake and hydraulic lines, new rear brake calipers and hoses, lots of new rear suspension hoses and lines, and a full service thrown in as it was 'up in the air' anyway.

Then I took it for the MoT; Reg was in a bit of mood with some other customers who were asking for a discount on the already cheap MoT and also asking if 'that includes an oil change?' - so Reg unfortunately discovered a front ball joint on the way out - he was apologetic but he is right and it's his licence and job.

It went back to 'The Man' who said, 'Really,? The front ones? I would thought the rear links were worse.' With the instructions that while it was 'up in the air' again to have a look at any suspension links and stuff needed doing I sat and waited while various parts arrived from all over Europe as BMW are starting to wind down down availability of E38 bits...

It's time in the air exposed another small leak from the hydraulic reservoir as well as a weep from the rear suspension adjustment valve - a part no longer listed or supplied by BMW whatsoever. Luckily an entrepreneurial Polish chap is refurbishing them on a supply and return basis with a 12 month warranty. The list of arms, links and ball joints that might as well be replaced was extensive...

The car is now back with me with not quite as big a bill and a return to Reg, hopefully in a better mood, is booked for Friday.

Barging has been relatively easy the last few years (except for a replacement Alpina engine - luckily one of the common as muck ones) but the last six months has been quite taxing across my little Fleet and I am hoping the money recently spent is an 'investment' rather than the tip of the iceberg.

I realise that spending c£5k on repairs to an E38 may seem like lunancy but 'The Man' has said that he gets relatively new cars in with similarly sized bills simply due to piss-poor design and piss-poor parts quality rather than simple age and corrosion like mine has suffered.

£5k has got me a serviced and refreshed E38 with an underside of shiny new bits that with garaging and reduced use should last another 10 to fifteen years, perhaps more, and whilst the barge thread provides a cornucopia of random shiny delights and potential adventures - Fridays postings with the thread contributors offerings of a TT Merc and a Supercharged FFRR as well as the mouthwatering lunancy of a manual V6 Avantime were particularly good - I am committed to keeping my old hulks rolling on and resisting further marital strife by adding to the driveway congestion.


TLDR; old E38 has rusty parts replaced - no money left for ridiculous thread purchase.

As you were - barge on.

[MorganP104]

em177 said:

Was convinced I wanted to ditch the mesh grill for an original slated one.

Now I’ve done it - not so sure. Thoughts?

If I may be so bold with a couple of suggestions.

1) I think it needs "R A N G E R O V E R" lettering on the leading edge of the bonnet to complete the look of the front end. In my opinion, the lettering is a big part of the car's imposing look, and appears a little anonymous without it.

2) Not something for now, but when the tyres need replacing, consider sticking a set of period-correct 20" Vogue wheels on, to replace the HSE-spec items your L322 currently wears (maybe shoe the HSE wheels up with full winters, and bung them in the shed, just in case).



This one's a 2005-on facelift model, but the wheels and bonnet lettering are the same.

Just my opinion chap - congrats on the car, it looks lovely.

[tobinen]

harrykul said:

They're e32 750i wheels. Never seen them on an e34 before.

Indeed. Style 3?

My favourite BMW wheels

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Derventio said:

Slightly above thread budget but maybe could be haggled down close.

Another lovely E34 with a small (but sonorous) 6 pot. this time with added usefulness and lovely wheels. I don't think I have ever seen those wheels before. Are they Alloys or hubcaps?

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1995-BMW-E34-520i-SE-TO...

6 grand. That's beyond crack-pipe. We have entered the twilight zone of complete madness.

[LetsTryAgain]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

6 grand. That's beyond crack-pipe. We have entered the twilight zone of complete madness.

I paid £450 for an E34 520iT about 4 years ago.
Gave it a full service and a new radiator, drove it fully loaded from N Yorks down to Euro Tunnel, all the way through France, all the way through Spain to Gibraltar.
Drove it around Gibraltar for a year and the then gave it to my bosses daughter to smoke around in.

Should have kept it based on that advert.

[Martin30]

d_a_n1979 said:

OEM roof bars too, quite rare, so good to have them with the car if any keen cyclists want luxo barge to ferry them around in

This reminds me I have a set of OEM BMW roof bars going spare. I bought them when dinosaurs ruled the world for my E32, still in great condition. According to BMW's instructions, these fit E32, E34 saloon, E34 touring (mounting on rain channel) and E38.

Free to any threadist who can collect from Cirencester, or I can post at cost.

Also have a lovely E30 brochure from the days when brochures were substantial, not QR code links to a page giving you 87 wheel choices. Likely to appeal to the same sort of deviant/threadist like myself who would want the roof bars - also free.

Martin.

[tobinen]

Good prompt Martin. I'll be after some roof bars for an E39 Touring with factory rails if any bargista has some he no longer needs.

[cornershop]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Derventio said:

Slightly above thread budget but maybe could be haggled down close.

Another lovely E34 with a small (but sonorous) 6 pot. this time with added usefulness and lovely wheels. I don't think I have ever seen those wheels before. Are they Alloys or hubcaps?

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1995-BMW-E34-520i-SE-TO...

6 grand. That's beyond crack-pipe. We have entered the twilight zone of complete madness.

That was sub £5k a few weeks ago at the same dealer

[MorganP104]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Derventio said:

Slightly above thread budget but maybe could be haggled down close.

Another lovely E34 with a small (but sonorous) 6 pot. this time with added usefulness and lovely wheels. I don't think I have ever seen those wheels before. Are they Alloys or hubcaps?

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1995-BMW-E34-520i-SE-TO...

6 grand. That's beyond crack-pipe. We have entered the twilight zone of complete madness.

Something's been bothering me for a while about the rise in prices of used cars. At first I thought it was the Covid-effect, but that's well understood, and not the thing that's been nagging at me. Then I thought it could be to do with new registrations going down, meaning there are less used vehicles for sale. But no, it's not that either.

Then it hit me - that smokers of crack have such excellent taste in cars (drug-induced Geralding aside).

[TommoAE86]

Martin30 said:

Also have a lovely E30 brochure from the days when brochures were substantial, not QR code links to a page giving you 87 wheel choices. Likely to appeal to the same sort of deviant/threadist like myself who would want the roof bars - also free.

Martin.

Nothing wrong with a (collection of) brochures, I've bought examples from the last 20 years of Crown models - the Majesta one (the top wafting Crown, unlike my slightly yobbish Athlete) is a hardback tomb of lovely pictures and lists of features (like reclining rear seats ).

[5 In a Row]

mondayo said:

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202102098...

All the colours. Presumably this will appeal to someone...

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202102098...

I don't know if my eyesight was upset after looking at this but for some unfathomable reason I clicked on the ad out of morbid curiosity to see if that was a wrap or actually a sign that MB had a sense of humour, however for some inexplicable reason it appears to me that the colour isn't mentioned in the advert at all.
As I said, it could just be some form of retinal damage (not helped by the suspicious baby nappy colour of the interior either).
Did I just miss it?

[bolidemichael]

TommoAE86 said:

Martin30 said:

Also have a lovely E30 brochure from the days when brochures were substantial, not QR code links to a page giving you 87 wheel choices. Likely to appeal to the same sort of deviant/threadist like myself who would want the roof bars - also free.

Martin.

Nothing wrong with a (collection of) brochures, I've bought examples from the last 20 years of Crown models - the Majesta one (the top wafting Crown, unlike my slightly yobbish Athlete) is a hardback tomb of lovely pictures and lists of features (like reclining rear seats ).

Does the E30 brochure contain info on the M-Tech 2 Sport? If so, happy to pay p&p.

[Martin30]

bolidemichael said:

Does the E30 brochure contain info on the M-Tech 2 Sport? If so, happy to pay p&p.

Sorry, no, it is all pre-facelift. Brochure says printed 1986, and all the cars are D-reg.

Martin.

[Macron]

"I am willing to trade for some nice guitars". Not sure we've had that before...

https://www.gumtree.com/p/bmw/bmw-e34-530i-auto-19...

[W00DY]

TyrannosauRoss Lex said:

W00DY said:

mondayo said:

Not a barge but I like it, mainly because VW had a Golf and still decided to make this too.

I'm posting it because 3.6 V6 and red leather. It's just in budget.


https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202102038...

That is so st in every possible way. I get stick for some of the stuff that I post, but nothing has annoyed me more than the fact some of you like this hopeless fking skip of a car.

Maybe so, but it's better than an ancient 2 litre Granada

The Granada sold quickly and will likely be a decent investment filled with retro charm and uncomplicated mechanicals. The Eos will make you miserable and lonely and then it will break.

Its only redeeming feature is the reminder that people are fickle and the stupid SUV/Faux SUV craze will pass and be resigned to history alongside these hateful CC stboxes.

Edited by W00DY on Tuesday 23 February 10:23