If your car could talk

[HereBeMonsters]

Octavia - "Where are you? Why am I still at this poxy garage?"

MX-5 - "Why haven't you cleaned me since September?"

205 - "Let me out of here. I haven't seen the sun since June."

[Fun Bus]

"Why are you using your indicators you 'tard? I'm a BMW you know."

[PoleDriver]

I'm not going out with you again... You keep hurting my bits!

[nicky.mattsson]

You promised to tidy me up, fix me and take good care of me. What happened?

[iva cosworth]

Spend some time and money sorting all my problems out

and give us a wash sometime

[Atom 3]

"I'm here to be thrashed"

[Doniger]

[i]"Another traffic jam? Why the hell are we on the A40 AGAIN?? Seriously, wtf! I'm a rear wheel drive convertible sports car - and speaking of which, when are you gonna take the hard top off again? It's been on for months! The sun's out for crying you loud, put a hat and some gloves on if it's cold, ya big puss-
Oh, wait for it, let's take that left up there, we can hoon down some back roads and then there's that little dual carriageway that nobody uses with the little roundabout we can slide around and YES!! REDLINE! SECOND!!!! RRAAAAAAAAGGGH!!! YEAH BABY THIRD!!!! WOOOO!! Ok roundabout ahead - BRAKEBRAKEBRAKESECOND - now pull the wheel, HARD! Now some oppo and a bootfull, RAAWP-RAWP-RAAAAAAW! BACK END OUT WOOOOOOOO!




Ok cool that was a lot of fu-
Awwww st, another traffic jam. *misfire* Jackass. I hate you."[/i]

[TheMoron]

I love it when you sponge me

[geordieracer]

You treat me like st, I do everything you ask of me and then some, you rarely show me any affection, if I was a woman I'd leave you.

[LukeBird]

Please stop thrashing me! I know where the rev limiter is, you needn't prove you do every journey!!

[skene]

wash me you !

[Wills2]

Learn to trail brake, learn to heel and toe and stop whimping out I can go a lot faster than you can!

Edited by Wills2 on Sunday 2nd January 21:38

[paolow]

why does one of you cane my arse and the other one leave me dawdling; FFS some times i think ill never get there...

[Le Mans Visitor]

"Is that the best you can do."

or

"There's a Scooby, lets go and wipe that smile off his face!"

[gamefreaks]

Volvo V70: No please, I die here Mr Fawlty.

Me: Come on! Come on! Start! Start, you vicious bd! Come on! Oh, my God! I'm warning you! If you don't start, I'll count to three! 1, 2, 3! Right! That's it! [leaving the car, he starts yelling at it] I've had enough of this! You've tried it on once too often! Right! Well, don't say I haven't warned you! I've laid it on the line for you time and time again! Right! Well, this is it! I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing! [he leaves the frame, returns holding a branch and starts thrashing the car over the bonnet]

[ewenm]

Caterham - Drive me more!
Mustang - Fix me, drive me!
Volvo - Hurdy gurdy hurdy gurdy! Well, it is Swedish...

Edited by ewenm on Sunday 2nd January 21:50

[DannyVTS]

"Hello Michael"

[mike9009]

"Hello Michael"

[WeirdNeville]

Please, just let me die.

No, not more laminate flooring! I transported the tiles last month! That cost you a rear damper! Are you trying to hurt me?!

[TomJS]

Puddenchucker said:

"Where the hell have you been?"

or

"I saw you looking at that F355!"