What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
Riley Blue said:
My friend reports that he once had a phone call while he was in Kent visiting his parents, the phone call being from his live in lady friend who had just left her office in Derbyshire and who suggested her house keys were not in her pocket but most likely in the pocket of her friend in Kent visiting his parents.
Toddington Services was their rendezvous, my friend tells me.
Toddington?!! Toddington Services was their rendezvous, my friend tells me.
Edited by Riley Blue on Wednesday 21st October 06:24
Crikey, your friend knows how to show a girl a good time...
Even by the lame standards of M1 services, that must rank as the number one s
thole.psi310398 said:
Riley Blue said:
My friend reports that he once had a phone call while he was in Kent visiting his parents, the phone call being from his live in lady friend who had just left her office in Derbyshire and who suggested her house keys were not in her pocket but most likely in the pocket of her friend in Kent visiting his parents.
Toddington Services was their rendezvous, my friend tells me.
Toddington?!! Toddington Services was their rendezvous, my friend tells me.
Edited by Riley Blue on Wednesday 21st October 06:24
Crikey, your friend knows how to show a girl a good time...
Even by the lame standards of M1 services, that must rank as the number one s
thole.My friend also left early and locked the front door to keep the family safe. Unfortunately on the keyring was the workhorse's key so it went nowhere, while my friend enjoyed the blandness of some hire car or other.
Ooops.
Edited by surveyor on Wednesday 21st October 17:22
psi310398 said:
Riley Blue said:
My friend reports that he once had a phone call while he was in Kent visiting his parents, the phone call being from his live in lady friend who had just left her office in Derbyshire and who suggested her house keys were not in her pocket but most likely in the pocket of her friend in Kent visiting his parents.
Toddington Services was their rendezvous, my friend tells me.
Toddington?!! Toddington Services was their rendezvous, my friend tells me.
Edited by Riley Blue on Wednesday 21st October 06:24
Crikey, your friend knows how to show a girl a good time...
Even by the lame standards of M1 services, that must rank as the number one s
thole.She gave
Having recently fitted a modified gear selector to his obnoxious French hatchback, my friend subsequently discovered that the car no longer engaged in reverse, nor had any sort of gate, so he was able to move the lever from first to fifth without making a U shaped movement. Not ideal.
Subsequent investigations revealed that it was not the fault of the one man band supplier who made the shifter mods, but in fact my friend had forgotten to clip a gear cable back to a bracket. It only took two removal and refits of a battery, battery tray, ecu, air box and selector mechanism to discover this.
Reverse was rediscovered after disassembly of the gear stick surround. Turn out its impossible to find reverse in the left and up position when your car has reverse in the right and down position. My friend blames a blank aftermarket gearknob and the fact he's not driven the car since February.
My friend can be a colossal fktrumpet sometimes.
Subsequent investigations revealed that it was not the fault of the one man band supplier who made the shifter mods, but in fact my friend had forgotten to clip a gear cable back to a bracket. It only took two removal and refits of a battery, battery tray, ecu, air box and selector mechanism to discover this.
Reverse was rediscovered after disassembly of the gear stick surround. Turn out its impossible to find reverse in the left and up position when your car has reverse in the right and down position. My friend blames a blank aftermarket gearknob and the fact he's not driven the car since February.
My friend can be a colossal f
ktrumpet sometimes. Another friend of mine used to be big into his motorbikes when he was younger and after passing his test, graduated from a 125 to a Yamaha 350LC that had been tuned by a certain legendary two stroke tuner of the late 80's. Said friend's Yamaha was lethal, it had a powerband of about 1500rpm and was flat as a pancake below and above that range, so made for an occasional interesting ride. Three times it tried to kill him and almost succeeded the last time.
Picture the scene, my friend is having a playful weekend hoon, the weather is average, the roads are dry but it had rained a lot before this particular day and so there were one or two dicey spots but overall quite good conditions. The road my friend was on was more or less straight bar a small section but then ended in a double 45 degree left bend at the end of this straight.
To the left of this bend is fields that are road level but to the right, there was a hedge and then about a 25 ft drop to the field below.
All good so far? Great.
My friend came up on this double bend a bit quicker than normal, but wasn't duly concerned, tipped into the first and went to roll on the throttle to exit the second. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was not concentrating but my friend opened the quick action throttle about yay too much and the power came rushing in and a tyre already on it's edge and it lost it's battle with grip.
Friend ended up sliding towards the hedge and dumped up against the kerb - which hurt apparently - but the bike went through the hedge and disappeared to end it's days destroyed in the field below.
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
My friend doesn't have much luck with motorbikes.
Picture the scene, my friend is having a playful weekend hoon, the weather is average, the roads are dry but it had rained a lot before this particular day and so there were one or two dicey spots but overall quite good conditions. The road my friend was on was more or less straight bar a small section but then ended in a double 45 degree left bend at the end of this straight.
To the left of this bend is fields that are road level but to the right, there was a hedge and then about a 25 ft drop to the field below.
All good so far? Great.
My friend came up on this double bend a bit quicker than normal, but wasn't duly concerned, tipped into the first and went to roll on the throttle to exit the second. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was not concentrating but my friend opened the quick action throttle about yay too much and the power came rushing in and a tyre already on it's edge and it lost it's battle with grip.
Friend ended up sliding towards the hedge and dumped up against the kerb - which hurt apparently - but the bike went through the hedge and disappeared to end it's days destroyed in the field below.
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
My friend doesn't have much luck with motorbikes.
notslopes said:
Another friend of mine used to be big into his motorbikes when he was younger and after passing his test, graduated from a 125 to a Yamaha 350LC that had been tuned by a certain legendary two stroke tuner of the late 80's. Said friend's Yamaha was lethal, it had a powerband of about 1500rpm and was flat as a pancake below and above that range, so made for an occasional interesting ride. Three times it tried to kill him and almost succeeded the last time.
Picture the scene, my friend is having a playful weekend hoon, the weather is average, the roads are dry but it had rained a lot before this particular day and so there were one or two dicey spots but overall quite good conditions. The road my friend was on was more or less straight bar a small section but then ended in a double 45 degree left bend at the end of this straight.
To the left of this bend is fields that are road level but to the right, there was a hedge and then about a 25 ft drop to the field below.
All good so far? Great.
My friend came up on this double bend a bit quicker than normal, but wasn't duly concerned, tipped into the first and went to roll on the throttle to exit the second. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was not concentrating but my friend opened the quick action throttle about yay too much and the power came rushing in and a tyre already on it's edge and it lost it's battle with grip.
Friend ended up sliding towards the hedge and dumped up against the kerb - which hurt apparently - but the bike went through the hedge and disappeared to end it's days destroyed in the field below.
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
My friend doesn't have much luck with motorbikes.
Stan Stephens ? My friend had a YPVS with his stage 3 tune and expansion pipes. Also had a JMC swingarm amongst other goodies. Power band was between 9000 - 11500 so pretty frantic.Picture the scene, my friend is having a playful weekend hoon, the weather is average, the roads are dry but it had rained a lot before this particular day and so there were one or two dicey spots but overall quite good conditions. The road my friend was on was more or less straight bar a small section but then ended in a double 45 degree left bend at the end of this straight.
To the left of this bend is fields that are road level but to the right, there was a hedge and then about a 25 ft drop to the field below.
All good so far? Great.
My friend came up on this double bend a bit quicker than normal, but wasn't duly concerned, tipped into the first and went to roll on the throttle to exit the second. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was not concentrating but my friend opened the quick action throttle about yay too much and the power came rushing in and a tyre already on it's edge and it lost it's battle with grip.
Friend ended up sliding towards the hedge and dumped up against the kerb - which hurt apparently - but the bike went through the hedge and disappeared to end it's days destroyed in the field below.
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
My friend doesn't have much luck with motorbikes.
My friend got pulled over on the Old Kent Road at 6am on a Sunday morning after making good use of the said power band. The very nice policeman reckoned he had to do between 80 - 90 to catch up. He also suggested the No Fear sticker on the tank should read No Brains instead. After a very long lecture he let my friend off with a caution. My friend should have learnt his lesson after this, but the numerous visits to Mr Stephens for engine rebuilds would prove otherwise.
Red9zero said:
notslopes said:
Another friend of mine used to be big into his motorbikes when he was younger and after passing his test, graduated from a 125 to a Yamaha 350LC that had been tuned by a certain legendary two stroke tuner of the late 80's. Said friend's Yamaha was lethal, it had a powerband of about 1500rpm and was flat as a pancake below and above that range, so made for an occasional interesting ride. Three times it tried to kill him and almost succeeded the last time.
Picture the scene, my friend is having a playful weekend hoon, the weather is average, the roads are dry but it had rained a lot before this particular day and so there were one or two dicey spots but overall quite good conditions. The road my friend was on was more or less straight bar a small section but then ended in a double 45 degree left bend at the end of this straight.
To the left of this bend is fields that are road level but to the right, there was a hedge and then about a 25 ft drop to the field below.
All good so far? Great.
My friend came up on this double bend a bit quicker than normal, but wasn't duly concerned, tipped into the first and went to roll on the throttle to exit the second. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was not concentrating but my friend opened the quick action throttle about yay too much and the power came rushing in and a tyre already on it's edge and it lost it's battle with grip.
Friend ended up sliding towards the hedge and dumped up against the kerb - which hurt apparently - but the bike went through the hedge and disappeared to end it's days destroyed in the field below.
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
My friend doesn't have much luck with motorbikes.
Stan Stephens ? My friend had a YPVS with his stage 3 tune and expansion pipes. Also had a JMC swingarm amongst other goodies. Power band was between 9000 - 11500 so pretty frantic.Picture the scene, my friend is having a playful weekend hoon, the weather is average, the roads are dry but it had rained a lot before this particular day and so there were one or two dicey spots but overall quite good conditions. The road my friend was on was more or less straight bar a small section but then ended in a double 45 degree left bend at the end of this straight.
To the left of this bend is fields that are road level but to the right, there was a hedge and then about a 25 ft drop to the field below.
All good so far? Great.
My friend came up on this double bend a bit quicker than normal, but wasn't duly concerned, tipped into the first and went to roll on the throttle to exit the second. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was not concentrating but my friend opened the quick action throttle about yay too much and the power came rushing in and a tyre already on it's edge and it lost it's battle with grip.
Friend ended up sliding towards the hedge and dumped up against the kerb - which hurt apparently - but the bike went through the hedge and disappeared to end it's days destroyed in the field below.
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
My friend doesn't have much luck with motorbikes.
My friend got pulled over on the Old Kent Road at 6am on a Sunday morning after making good use of the said power band. The very nice policeman reckoned he had to do between 80 - 90 to catch up. He also suggested the No Fear sticker on the tank should read No Brains instead. After a very long lecture he let my friend off with a caution. My friend should have learnt his lesson after this, but the numerous visits to Mr Stephens for engine rebuilds would prove otherwise.
My friends 350LC was along similar lines, metmatchex swinging arm, swarbrick pipes, clip ons, rearsets etc. My friend never got pulled on that bike, surprising considering he used to wear a Simpson Bandit when they were still illegal.
My friend gave up on bikes after scaring himself stupid on an original edition Fireblade.
My friend didn't learn, as he spent silly amounts of money an an Audi Quattro too.
Another one of my friends went to Donington Park back in the day when Honda UK used to do an open day type thing, you went there and provided you had the required documentation, you could drive/ride the vehicle of your choice.
This friend didn't have a licence then but his older brother did, so off they went in the new for that year Accord -my friend thinks - and his older brother used to drive like a maniac. Cue the guy from Honda in the passenger seat knocking the auto gearbox lever down a gear when ever said older brother shifted up a gear while hooning said Accord, or whatever it was, round the circuit.
This resulted in my friend and his older brother being the only two people ever asked to leave one of these events
This friend didn't have a licence then but his older brother did, so off they went in the new for that year Accord -my friend thinks - and his older brother used to drive like a maniac. Cue the guy from Honda in the passenger seat knocking the auto gearbox lever down a gear when ever said older brother shifted up a gear while hooning said Accord, or whatever it was, round the circuit.
This resulted in my friend and his older brother being the only two people ever asked to leave one of these events
notslopes said:
Stuff....Yamaha 350LC....More stuff
My friend also had one of those. The only twostroke he ever loved. It wasn't the power band that caused its eventual demise though. It was a cheap aftermarket replacement brake disc which shattered after less than 100 miles use. Sigh...
notslopes said:
To add insult to injury, said friend hobbled up the road to the phonebox, put his last pennies in to call his dad to explain the situation and where he was, said father said "oh well, you'll learn" and put the phone down. My friend had to hobble the 7 miles back home.
Top Dad !I have done similar things when the under 10s decide to climb up trees too high.
Shouts of "It will really hurt a lot if you fall out of this tree that high up" really
gets them to assess risk.
Additional shouts of "The food in hospital is terrible" for the hard cases.
Eventually, they learnt to assess risk for themselves and were a lot less trouble.
Jon, I gave up NPE earlier this year and I am much the happier for it. It is a bleak place. The negativity, spite, and sheer lack of human decency routinely on display there is quite a thing. Better to (1) talk about cars and motorbikes, and (2) tell tall tales in here.
My friend's latest tall tale involves him banging the paintwork on a car that had survived unmarked and original since 1978 on a barn door whilst getting the car out for a hoon. He almost added insult injury by failing in his usually meticulous checks on fluid levels in cars and hooning the same car until the low oil pressure light came on. He had also not long before transferred the can of 20 50 from the boot of that car to another old wreck. He had to knock on the door of a rural home and beg a can of oil from some bloke in his jammies, who kindly rummaged in his greenhouse and produced an ancient and cobwebby can of Asda oil that had enough left in it to get my friend back to base. Today my friend will swing by the same locale and drop off a bottle of wine for Jim Jams guy.
My friend's latest tall tale involves him banging the paintwork on a car that had survived unmarked and original since 1978 on a barn door whilst getting the car out for a hoon. He almost added insult injury by failing in his usually meticulous checks on fluid levels in cars and hooning the same car until the low oil pressure light came on. He had also not long before transferred the can of 20 50 from the boot of that car to another old wreck. He had to knock on the door of a rural home and beg a can of oil from some bloke in his jammies, who kindly rummaged in his greenhouse and produced an ancient and cobwebby can of Asda oil that had enough left in it to get my friend back to base. Today my friend will swing by the same locale and drop off a bottle of wine for Jim Jams guy.
My friend was frustrated at poor mobile signal via EE in his home, so yesterday wanted to try a sim card from a different operator in his brand new Samsung Galaxy. The numpty used the supplied pointy tool to release the sim card tray, but it wasn't budging. So my friend grew even more frustrated and pushed really hard, still to no avail. Then he spotted an almost identical hole nearby and realised he'd been viciously poking the speaker.
PS: empty San Pellegrino plastic bottles with the bottom cut off with the knife in that multi-tool that you bought on a whim at a motorway station make good oil funnels. The car in question still possesses its original (and colour matched) 1978 Italian tool kit, but that kit doesn't have a blade in it.
1970s tool porn is a thing of my friend's. He recommends the very full toolkits from Jaguar XJs of that period. He is a perv.
1970s tool porn is a thing of my friend's. He recommends the very full toolkits from Jaguar XJs of that period. He is a perv.
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