What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
My friend was drilling a hole in a wall for an extractor vent using one of those core drill bit sets and an SDS drill. Remarkably, that phase passed without incident. However, when he had finished, the core thingy was so firmly tightened onto the shaft that it wouldn’t undo. Unperturbed, he fixed the spline into his vice and applied a great deal of force to the core using his largest adjustable spanner.
This was very effective, both at releasing the stuck core but also, due to a disappointing lack of foresight, in allowing him to punch himself hard in the face.
My friend’s black eye is secured and his head ache is brewing nicely.
This was very effective, both at releasing the stuck core but also, due to a disappointing lack of foresight, in allowing him to punch himself hard in the face.
My friend’s black eye is secured and his head ache is brewing nicely.
basherX said:
My friend was drilling a hole in a wall for an extractor vent using one of those core drill bit sets and an SDS drill. Remarkably, that phase passed without incident. However, when he had finished, the core thingy was so firmly tightened onto the shaft that it wouldn’t undo. Unperturbed, he fixed the spline into his vice and applied a great deal of force to the core using his largest adjustable spanner.
This was very effective, both at releasing the stuck core but also, due to a disappointing lack of foresight, in allowing him to punch himself hard in the face.
My friend’s black eye is secured and his head ache is brewing nicely.
My friend is a heartless bThis was very effective, both at releasing the stuck core but also, due to a disappointing lack of foresight, in allowing him to punch himself hard in the face.
My friend’s black eye is secured and his head ache is brewing nicely.
d and wishes to see a picture solely for his own amusement - he has looked up "empathy" in the dictionary, but still doesn't get it.JonChalk said:
basherX said:
My friend was drilling a hole in a wall for an extractor vent using one of those core drill bit sets and an SDS drill. Remarkably, that phase passed without incident. However, when he had finished, the core thingy was so firmly tightened onto the shaft that it wouldn’t undo. Unperturbed, he fixed the spline into his vice and applied a great deal of force to the core using his largest adjustable spanner.
This was very effective, both at releasing the stuck core but also, due to a disappointing lack of foresight, in allowing him to punch himself hard in the face.
My friend’s black eye is secured and his head ache is brewing nicely.
My friend is a heartless bThis was very effective, both at releasing the stuck core but also, due to a disappointing lack of foresight, in allowing him to punch himself hard in the face.
My friend’s black eye is secured and his head ache is brewing nicely.
d and wishes to see a picture solely for his own amusement - he has looked up "empathy" in the dictionary, but still doesn't get it.t and syphilis 
Slow said:
RazerSauber said:
My friend was driving home the other night after a meeting with his partner. He saw a car behind him get overtaken at speed and suspected he was going to encounter the same fate. It was a small village and he decided to not put his foot down. He was overtaken at speed. The overtaking car had to dodge a car coming the other way. The oncoming car had familiar blue and yellow stickers which complemented a snazzy blue bar on the roof. My friend chuckled. The oncoming car did nothing. My friend got angry.
Probably knows he wouldnt have a chance to catch/do anything by the time he turns around.
M22s said:
My friend started playing guitar again 2months ago, after an 11 year break. In that time he has gone from 1 guitar, to 4. He hasn’t told his wife about the 4th and has already consulted a family solicitor in preparation for her noticing.
My friend has found that, much like watches and whiskeys, their spouse can't really tell the difference between guitars on a cursory inspection. He assures me that the trick is to keep the number on display the same, but quietly rotate them with new purchases and he stores the excess where SWMBO dare not venture, like the garage or loft.My friend is going to sort out a kink in a minute or two. Then he's going to fit a stronger return spring.
He tells me regretfully this is on the throttle cable of his Trabant and carburettor. He says it's nothing to do with his wife.
My friend and his wife are going to have a date night tonight in their caravan. The caravan is inside his works unit. They are going to get a takeaway pizza or something and probably 'Netflix and chill'. He can't wait. It's not even a special occasion!
He tells me regretfully this is on the throttle cable of his Trabant and carburettor. He says it's nothing to do with his wife.
My friend and his wife are going to have a date night tonight in their caravan. The caravan is inside his works unit. They are going to get a takeaway pizza or something and probably 'Netflix and chill'. He can't wait. It's not even a special occasion!
My friend has gone from being quite pleased with insurance settlement for camera equipment and is now facing the Spanish Inquisition (after not expecting it obviously) from present wife as to how he managed to have £9k worth of camera equipment in the first place including such comments as “3 cameras, why?” And “£270 for a bag?”
he isn’t entirely sure how to respond but it will probably involve a proportion of payout being directed to aforementioned inquisitor as a bribe of some sort
he isn’t entirely sure how to respond but it will probably involve a proportion of payout being directed to aforementioned inquisitor as a bribe of some sort
CobolMan said:
My friend would also enquire as to how many handbags and pairs of shoes his good lady wife possesses. My friend would then duck to avoid being hit by one of the aforesaid items being launched at his head 
Luckily it appears my friend isn’t as insane as your friend and wouldn’t contemplate that suggestionEven though my friends wife’s insurance settlement for bags/shoes/clothes is exponentially greater than his camera one
These lockdowns seem to last forever - don't they.
My friend, although elderly has a full head of hair (you inherit from your maternal grandfather, but I expect you all knew that) he decided to give himself a haircut, so he bought an electric clipper set from the South American river people. Plugged in, away he went, sheep shearing like mad (he tells me). The results were so so, when he realised that the clippers didn't have a 'battery' function - they could only be used if plugged into the mains.
He couldn't send them back, there was hair and lubricating oil in every crevice.......
Some time later walking through a high street chain of chemists named after an item of footwear, he saw a set of clippers which were were battery/mains. Before he realised - he tells me - he had bought said clippers, taken them home, sneaked upstairs and given himself another haircut with clippers No. 2.
He has now hidden clippers No. 1 behind the desk.
What should he do? Confess all at an appropriate time? When would that be? Say nothing - keep schtum and the clippers No. 1 will be found when he and his wife are gone and the house clearance people are doing the house clearance?
What would you do?
My friend, although elderly has a full head of hair (you inherit from your maternal grandfather, but I expect you all knew that) he decided to give himself a haircut, so he bought an electric clipper set from the South American river people. Plugged in, away he went, sheep shearing like mad (he tells me). The results were so so, when he realised that the clippers didn't have a 'battery' function - they could only be used if plugged into the mains.
He couldn't send them back, there was hair and lubricating oil in every crevice.......
Some time later walking through a high street chain of chemists named after an item of footwear, he saw a set of clippers which were were battery/mains. Before he realised - he tells me - he had bought said clippers, taken them home, sneaked upstairs and given himself another haircut with clippers No. 2.
He has now hidden clippers No. 1 behind the desk.
What should he do? Confess all at an appropriate time? When would that be? Say nothing - keep schtum and the clippers No. 1 will be found when he and his wife are gone and the house clearance people are doing the house clearance?
What would you do?
My friend likes women's shoes very much (although not to wear himself, as he does not have the ankles for that). He thinks that his true destiny may have been to be a designer of women's shoes, and he has wasted his life by not pursuing that destiny. He enjoys going shopping with women for shoes and clothes, and has been told by more than one woman that he has a good eye. Having said that, there are limits. He lived with a shoe-enthusiast woman in the late 80s, and took to calling the hall of their flat "Imelda Marcos Alley" because of the large number of shoes that were arranged along both sides of the quite long hall.
The Mad Monk said:
These lockdowns seem to last forever - don't they.
My friend, although elderly has a full head of hair (you inherit from your maternal grandfather, but I expect you all knew that) he decided to give himself a haircut, so he bought an electric clipper set from the South American river people. Plugged in, away he went, sheep shearing like mad (he tells me). The results were so so, when he realised that the clippers didn't have a 'battery' function - they could only be used if plugged into the mains.
He couldn't send them back, there was hair and lubricating oil in every crevice.......
Some time later walking through a high street chain of chemists named after an item of footwear, he saw a set of clippers which were were battery/mains. Before he realised - he tells me - he had bought said clippers, taken them home, sneaked upstairs and given himself another haircut with clippers No. 2.
He has now hidden clippers No. 1 behind the desk.
What should he do? Confess all at an appropriate time? When would that be? Say nothing - keep schtum and the clippers No. 1 will be found when he and his wife are gone and the house clearance people are doing the house clearance?
What would you do?
Not sure about what I’d do but my friend when consulted advised just making the first ones disappear somewhere ?My friend, although elderly has a full head of hair (you inherit from your maternal grandfather, but I expect you all knew that) he decided to give himself a haircut, so he bought an electric clipper set from the South American river people. Plugged in, away he went, sheep shearing like mad (he tells me). The results were so so, when he realised that the clippers didn't have a 'battery' function - they could only be used if plugged into the mains.
He couldn't send them back, there was hair and lubricating oil in every crevice.......
Some time later walking through a high street chain of chemists named after an item of footwear, he saw a set of clippers which were were battery/mains. Before he realised - he tells me - he had bought said clippers, taken them home, sneaked upstairs and given himself another haircut with clippers No. 2.
He has now hidden clippers No. 1 behind the desk.
What should he do? Confess all at an appropriate time? When would that be? Say nothing - keep schtum and the clippers No. 1 will be found when he and his wife are gone and the house clearance people are doing the house clearance?
What would you do?
Breadvan72 said:
My friend likes women's shoes very much (although not to wear himself, as he does not have the ankles for that). He thinks that his true destiny may have been to be a designer of women's shoes, and he has wasted his life by not pursuing that destiny. He enjoys going shopping with women for shoes and clothes, and has been told by more than one woman that he has a good eye. Having said that, there are limits. He lived with a shoe-enthusiast woman in the late 80s, and took to calling the hall of their flat "Imelda Marcos Alley" because of the large number of shoes that were arranged along both sides of the quite long hall.
By a strange happenstance my friend actually was a designer of ladies shoes, back when the earth was young and the rocks were still cooling. He relates that his mother and four sisters all wore size 4, which is coincidentally the standard size in which show samples of ladies shoes are made.
Show samples shoes, he tells me, are frequently rather like concept cars in that they never make it to production, either because of exotic design concepts or more often owing to having been made from leathers far too expensive to use in bulk production. So my friends female relatives enjoyed a very exclusive range of cobblery for a while.
My friend himself has exceptionally small feet and is obliged to wear ladies socks and slippers as gentlemen's ranges seldom encompass his size. Also, he can buy boys sport shoes which makes him happy as HMG do not take a cut in VAT for kids footwear.
He reports that ladies ski socks come in colours that would make a lesser man's eyes bleed, but he has learned to enjoy them.
Breadvan72 said:
My friend likes women's shoes very much (although not to wear himself, as he does not have the ankles for that). He thinks that his true destiny may have been to be a designer of women's shoes, and he has wasted his life by not pursuing that destiny. He enjoys going shopping with women for shoes and clothes, and has been told by more than one woman that he has a good eye. Having said that, there are limits. He lived with a shoe-enthusiast woman in the late 80s, and took to calling the hall of their flat "Imelda Marcos Alley" because of the large number of shoes that were arranged along both sides of the quite long hall.
My friend by contrast hates shoe shopping with his wife. She spends, on average, 90 minutes per shoe shop. Then walks out having purchased nothing, before moving to the next shoe shop. This can apparently go on all day. He tells me her personal record was nearly three hours in Loubertain’s in London, although on that occasion three pairs were purchased. He’s now considering converting a second room in the house for shoe storage, as all existing shoe space has been filled, and the easing of lockdown can only result in the purchase of more shoes.Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff