One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4

[WarrenB]

Demelitia said:

Liquid Knight said:

thebigmacmoomin said:

People who ask on a Facebook page.

Pretty much.

‘Anyone got any recommendations for what to do when I need to start walking? Is it left foot after right, or is it right again?’

'Can someone google me the number for the hairdressers on Manchester Road please?'

[torx_whisperer]

[Toaster Pilot]

torx_whisperer said:

Urgh. Pure knobbery. (Although asking “do you still have this” or “is this still available” isn’t far behind!)

[markyb_lcy]

Toaster Pilot said:

Urgh. Pure knobbery. (Although asking “do you still have this” or “is this still available” isn’t far behind!)

Is it?

A lot of people who sell stuff (gumtree and elsewhere) don’t take ads down after sale. It’s my default first question when buying anything on sites such as that. Around half of stuff I enquire about generally is already sold.

[torx_whisperer]

markyb_lcy said:

Toaster Pilot said:

Urgh. Pure knobbery. (Although asking “do you still have this” or “is this still available” isn’t far behind!)

Is it?

A lot of people who sell stuff (gumtree and elsewhere) don’t take ads down after sale. It’s my default first question when buying anything on sites such as that. Around half of stuff I enquire about generally is already sold.

Agree - it's annoying when you are selling and within 5 minutes of listing the first lazy so and so just hits 'is it available'. If the item has clearly been for sale a long while it's completely legitimate.

[InitialDave]

Toaster Pilot said:

Urgh. Pure knobbery. (Although asking “do you still have this” or “is this still available” isn’t far behind!)

It's the default message you get using the "make an enquiry" button on some sites.

[Pericoloso]

The 3 drivers earlier who crapped themselves when we all caught up with a HETO ,Highways England,Shogun on the motorway bimbling at 68.

I just shot past the lot of them whilst they slowed to 60 for no reason whatsoever.
I was doing "about70" Occifer.
The Qashqai gets special mention as it stopped MLM ing for the first time in about 30 minutes.

[donkmeister]

Blown2CV said:

jdizz said:

Graveworm said:

Blown2CV said:

go on you're going to have to explain this one... are you saying the driver should have predicted there would be more than one or something?

"Where there is one their may be more" is a commentary cliche, but still not a bad mantra.

Was going to say this too. I live in the rural parts of southern England, and if a deer runs out in front of me 9 time out of 10, its followed by 1 or more.

you can't really call someone a knob for not being a countryfile checked shirt wearer on the way to stick his arm up a cow's arse.

Apologies for being late to the party... I certainly won't join in with the jeering and derision however prior to acquiring my penchant for chewing on straw I lived in London in the 90s and early 00s and had deer run out in such a fashion whilst driving through Bushy Park and Richmond Park (arguably and inarguably, respectively, both in London). I have had the same from foxes in Knightsbridge, Kensington and Bayswater (I assumed they live in Hyde Park).
Wildlife exists in the London Metropolis, so it surely exists in the smaller cities and towns too. If not then swap "rudeboys innit" for wildlife and I'm sure they run unpredictably after one another.

[HTP99]

Pericoloso said:

The 3 drivers earlier who crapped themselves when we all caught up with a HETO ,Highways England,Shogun on the motorway bimbling at 68.

I just shot past the lot of them whilst they slowed to 60 for no reason whatsoever.
I was doing "about70" Occifer.
The Qashqai gets special mention as it stopped MLM ing for the first time in about 30 minutes.

This sort of thing does make me chuckle, I've even seen people crawl past ambulances on motorways......idiots!

[nonsequitur]

HTP99 said:

Pericoloso said:

The 3 drivers earlier who crapped themselves when we all caught up with a HETO ,Highways England,Shogun on the motorway bimbling at 68.

I just shot past the lot of them whilst they slowed to 60 for no reason whatsoever.
I was doing "about70" Occifer.
The Qashqai gets special mention as it stopped MLM ing for the first time in about 30 minutes.

This sort of thing does make me chuckle, I've even seen people crawl past ambulances on motorways......idiots!

Maybe it's just respect and caution for the emergency servies, and rightly so.

[mikey k]

HTP99 said:

Pericoloso said:

The 3 drivers earlier who crapped themselves when we all caught up with a HETO ,Highways England,Shogun on the motorway bimbling at 68.

I just shot past the lot of them whilst they slowed to 60 for no reason whatsoever.
I was doing "about70" Occifer.
The Qashqai gets special mention as it stopped MLM ing for the first time in about 30 minutes.

This sort of thing does make me chuckle, I've even seen people crawl past ambulances on motorways......idiots!

Yep frustrating
Battenburg does seem to wake up the idiots, whether it's HETO, Ambulance, Highways Maintenance, Wide Load Escort, Recovery or Dyno Rod

[nonsequitur]

mikey k said:

Yep frustrating
Battenburg does seem to wake up the idiots, whether it's HETO, Ambulance, Highways Maintenance, Wide Load Escort, Recovery or Dyno Rod

See above.

[Pica-Pica]

nonsequitur said:

mikey k said:

Yep frustrating
Battenburg does seem to wake up the idiots, whether it's HETO, Ambulance, Highways Maintenance, Wide Load Escort, Recovery or Dyno Rod

See above.

We had one yesterday, the writing on the rear bumper was D O C T O R
Made no difference to its tailgaters. My CC was set at 75, so no hindrance to me.

[yellowjack]

uncleluck said:

nonsequitur said:

Having viewed several dash-cam you tube videos, I note that most of the poor / carp driving takes place on the approach to, on, and exiting roundabouts.
Also, many of the dash-cam drivers demonstrate dreadful motoring while blaming all around them.

Seems to be the norm on roundabouts. The only road rage I’ve had in recent years is off others is because they can’t drive on roundabouts and blame me for using the road markings correctly. Lots of roundabouts here where people just ignore the markings and the biggest issue is they just don’t look around them, they seem to be just looking at where they want to go and will cross lanes without looking wandering into other lanes and getting spooked when they see another car. I see it so much here just watching people in front and these people just don’t realise the only thing stopping them having hundreds of accidents is other people being observant.

Absolute rubbish!

The PistonHeads Posse of Professional Pricks will be along shortly to stroke their collective beard and tell you that if you notice lots of poor driving then it is YOU who are the poor driver "because common denominator, innit, Bruvv". I get told that all of the time. According to some of the gormless boy racers and midlife crises on here, I'm a one-man pandemic of on-road aholery.

Alternatively, you could actually be like me, and be someone who cares about driving and tries to drive well. Which is how you get to see lots of these incidents unfold in front of you, yet somehow you're observant enough to avoid getting directly involved. I had one yesterday, on my daily trip to the recycling centre (I'm hacking into a garden that hasn't seen a pair of shears in what looks like years). A Range Rover is approaching a large roundabout with three marked lanes on it. The approach is signed too, and marked with paint. Mr RR is in lane 1, I'm in lane 2, and lane 1 is marked for left and straight over, lane 2 marked for straight over only (lane 2 of second exit) and lane 3 is marked for right turn (3rd exit). Mr RR enters the roundabout with his left hand indicator winking away, and I'm heading for the straight ahead exit, expecting him to turn off into the first exit (left). But no. Which worries me, because he's clearly not capable of indicating correctly to convey his intention. He could be going anywhere now, but as I ease off the gas, and he draws alongside I notice he's in deep conversation (hands free, which is a bonus, but not really paying attention to his surroundings). Alarm bells ring at this point, and sure enough, he reaches the 2nd exit (where he should now exit onto the left hand lane of a dual carriageway) and his wheels start to point toward me. I brake, firmly enough but not an emergency stop by any stretch. He sails past both lanes of that exit, crosses in front of me, and continues around the roundabout in the outermost lane, and cuts up a driver who was correctly heading for the 3rd exit from a lane 3 entry. I'd not beeped at him, because the last thing I wanted was him braking to a stop in front of me, but the lane 3 driver did hit the horn quite forcefully. He was rewarded with a raised middle finger on the hand that appeared from the open window of the vaping smog filled RR. Which was nice.

Further into my journey home, I saw a Waitrose lorry making a right turn (3rd exit) at a smaller roundabout. So he'd correctly signalled right, but positioned his lorry in the left hand lane on approach so as to get his trailer around the turn without bouncing it off the built-up centre island. So far, so good. I stayed well back so the lorry driver could see I knew what he was doing and that I'd give him space to do it. It was my intention to follow him around in the same direction. Obviously I left too much space, though, because there was a queue behind me, and a white van darted out of it, used the left-hand lane to "undertake" me, and then dived back into lane 2 ahead of me and tried to cut up between the turning lorry and the roundabout structure. And when, entirely as I'd predicted, the trailer of said lorry cut the corner, the flangewangler in the van leaned on his horn, and ended up having to reverse because there was insufficient space to force his way through even though the lorry had stopped moving. Clearly, though, simply by witnessing these two acts of fkwittery, it makes me some kind of terrible driver. I'm honestly a menace on the roads, and probably ought to ban myself for the greater good...

[Deranged Rover]

yellowjack said:

Absolute rubbish!

The PistonHeads Posse of Professional Pricks will be along shortly to stroke their collective beard and tell you that if you notice lots of poor driving then it is YOU who are the poor driver "because common denominator, innit, Bruvv". I get told that all of the time. According to some of the gormless boy racers and midlife crises on here, I'm a one-man pandemic of on-road aholery.

Alternatively, you could actually be like me, and be someone who cares about driving and tries to drive well. Which is how you get to see lots of these incidents unfold in front of you, yet somehow you're observant enough to avoid getting directly involved. I had one yesterday, on my daily trip to the recycling centre (I'm hacking into a garden that hasn't seen a pair of shears in what looks like years). A Range Rover is approaching a large roundabout with three marked lanes on it. The approach is signed too, and marked with paint. Mr RR is in lane 1, I'm in lane 2, and lane 1 is marked for left and straight over, lane 2 marked for straight over only (lane 2 of second exit) and lane 3 is marked for right turn (3rd exit). Mr RR enters the roundabout with his left hand indicator winking away, and I'm heading for the straight ahead exit, expecting him to turn off into the first exit (left). But no. Which worries me, because he's clearly not capable of indicating correctly to convey his intention. He could be going anywhere now, but as I ease off the gas, and he draws alongside I notice he's in deep conversation (hands free, which is a bonus, but not really paying attention to his surroundings). Alarm bells ring at this point, and sure enough, he reaches the 2nd exit (where he should now exit onto the left hand lane of a dual carriageway) and his wheels start to point toward me. I brake, firmly enough but not an emergency stop by any stretch. He sails past both lanes of that exit, crosses in front of me, and continues around the roundabout in the outermost lane, and cuts up a driver who was correctly heading for the 3rd exit from a lane 3 entry. I'd not beeped at him, because the last thing I wanted was him braking to a stop in front of me, but the lane 3 driver did hit the horn quite forcefully. He was rewarded with a raised middle finger on the hand that appeared from the open window of the vaping smog filled RR. Which was nice.

Further into my journey home, I saw a Waitrose lorry making a right turn (3rd exit) at a smaller roundabout. So he'd correctly signalled right, but positioned his lorry in the left hand lane on approach so as to get his trailer around the turn without bouncing it off the built-up centre island. So far, so good. I stayed well back so the lorry driver could see I knew what he was doing and that I'd give him space to do it. It was my intention to follow him around in the same direction. Obviously I left too much space, though, because there was a queue behind me, and a white van darted out of it, used the left-hand lane to "undertake" me, and then dived back into lane 2 ahead of me and tried to cut up between the turning lorry and the roundabout structure. And when, entirely as I'd predicted, the trailer of said lorry cut the corner, the flangewangler in the van leaned on his horn, and ended up having to reverse because there was insufficient space to force his way through even though the lorry had stopped moving. Clearly, though, simply by witnessing these two acts of fkwittery, it makes me some kind of terrible driver. I'm honestly a menace on the roads, and probably ought to ban myself for the greater good...

You don't mention yourself indicating in any of this. so it's clearly all your fault.

[Gameface]

Olas.

(Apparently...)

[yellowjack]

Deranged Rover said:

yellowjack said:

Absolute rubbish!

The PistonHeads Posse of Professional Pricks will be along shortly to stroke their collective beard and tell you that if you notice lots of poor driving then it is YOU who are the poor driver "because common denominator, innit, Bruvv". I get told that all of the time. According to some of the gormless boy racers and midlife crises on here, I'm a one-man pandemic of on-road aholery.

Alternatively, you could actually be like me, and be someone who cares about driving and tries to drive well. Which is how you get to see lots of these incidents unfold in front of you, yet somehow you're observant enough to avoid getting directly involved. I had one yesterday, on my daily trip to the recycling centre (I'm hacking into a garden that hasn't seen a pair of shears in what looks like years). A Range Rover is approaching a large roundabout with three marked lanes on it. The approach is signed too, and marked with paint. Mr RR is in lane 1, I'm in lane 2, and lane 1 is marked for left and straight over, lane 2 marked for straight over only (lane 2 of second exit) and lane 3 is marked for right turn (3rd exit). Mr RR enters the roundabout with his left hand indicator winking away, and I'm heading for the straight ahead exit, expecting him to turn off into the first exit (left). But no. Which worries me, because he's clearly not capable of indicating correctly to convey his intention. He could be going anywhere now, but as I ease off the gas, and he draws alongside I notice he's in deep conversation (hands free, which is a bonus, but not really paying attention to his surroundings). Alarm bells ring at this point, and sure enough, he reaches the 2nd exit (where he should now exit onto the left hand lane of a dual carriageway) and his wheels start to point toward me. I brake, firmly enough but not an emergency stop by any stretch. He sails past both lanes of that exit, crosses in front of me, and continues around the roundabout in the outermost lane, and cuts up a driver who was correctly heading for the 3rd exit from a lane 3 entry. I'd not beeped at him, because the last thing I wanted was him braking to a stop in front of me, but the lane 3 driver did hit the horn quite forcefully. He was rewarded with a raised middle finger on the hand that appeared from the open window of the vaping smog filled RR. Which was nice.

Further into my journey home, I saw a Waitrose lorry making a right turn (3rd exit) at a smaller roundabout. So he'd correctly signalled right, but positioned his lorry in the left hand lane on approach so as to get his trailer around the turn without bouncing it off the built-up centre island. So far, so good. I stayed well back so the lorry driver could see I knew what he was doing and that I'd give him space to do it. It was my intention to follow him around in the same direction. Obviously I left too much space, though, because there was a queue behind me, and a white van darted out of it, used the left-hand lane to "undertake" me, and then dived back into lane 2 ahead of me and tried to cut up between the turning lorry and the roundabout structure. And when, entirely as I'd predicted, the trailer of said lorry cut the corner, the flangewangler in the van leaned on his horn, and ended up having to reverse because there was insufficient space to force his way through even though the lorry had stopped moving. Clearly, though, simply by witnessing these two acts of fkwittery, it makes me some kind of terrible driver. I'm honestly a menace on the roads, and probably ought to ban myself for the greater good...

You don't mention yourself indicating in any of this. so it's clearly all your fault.

"Smilie" duly noted, and taken in the spirit it was (presumably) offered. But that's EXACTLY the type of comment (sans smilie, of course) I'm referring to when I mention the 'PistonHeads Posse of Professional Pricks'.

"They" are exactly why my posts are often so long, yet it's "They" who will then moan that it was all too much for them to read. Presumably because there are too many sentences and not enough illustrations of Dick & Jane, so they can't understand the text...

[Monkeylegend]

yellowjack said:

I'm more than happy to park it, though, and let our differences lie...

[yellowjack]

Monkeylegend said:

yellowjack said:

I'm more than happy to park it, though, and let our differences lie...

I was feeling rather more generous when I wrote that. Then I woke up this morning and there wasn't a right side of the bed, so...


Besides which, I wrote it to try to avoid dragging the thread down into a personal squabble, and I'm guessing it was meant more for a particular individual, or individuals than "that" group as a whole. They'll know who they are, because the cap fits and they pass it around between them, while they're off "quoting" my PH posts on that 'other site' that they think I don't know about, where they all get around in a circle-jerk and chuckle about how clever they are. I've got a log-in on 'that' site too, but it's gone unused since the first time I logged in because I can't be arsed with chasing round the internet stalking other folk to have a "fight" that turns out to be a pixel filled non-event. I mean, if you really want to go around playing on-line stalker, you can probably find dozens, maybe hundreds of instances where I said one thing, then weeks or months later I completely contradicted myself. It's called real life, where people's opinions can, and do, change based on the evidence available to then at the time, the prevailing wind, or even whether or not it rained on their laundry and put them in a foul mood.

And no. For the record, I was not, nor have I ever claimed to have been, on the balcony during the Iranian Embassy siege. I don't even know what colour the boathouse is in Herr-ford...

[jet_noise]

yellowjack said:

Absolute rubbish!

The PistonHeads Posse of Professional Pricks...

<snip reasoned unsweary rant>

...and ended up having to reverse because there was insufficient space to force his way through even though the lorry had stopped moving.

Are you familiar with Sniff Petrol's "ask a total prick from an internet forum" pieces?

Driving deity dispenses karma. Satisfying.