What has your "friend" been up to?

[anonymous-user]

My friend fell asleep on New Year's Eve and was awoken at midnight by fireworks going off near the Shard. He so rockstar.


HNY to you and your friends.

[anonymous-user]

That driver was probably uninsured.

[anonymous-user]

Usually if I have a no damage or tiny damage shunt I would be all for fuggedaboutit, but if the other driver displays anxiety not to involve insurance I might suspect a rodent.

My friend says this never happens to him because he only ever does massive pile ins into kitten nurseries that result in Wiley Coyote style splosions. He emerges holding only a charred steering wheel and hitches a lift home in a minibus full of teenage Swedish nuns. He says.

[anonymous-user]

I discount many of his stories as farragos of scurrilous untruths.

[anonymous-user]

Cray cray times, and a full day in court with four witnesses to beat up. Dry January can GTF.

Speaking for a friend...

[anonymous-user]

Free giveaway pen FTW!

Your friend has also reminded my my Surface needs a new keyboard as the inscriptions are rubbing off the keys and the material is beginning to bunch up.

[anonymous-user]

Two! Both from law firms. Lots of kit-looting at meetings and seminars. Nowadays they give out bluetooth speakers and travel adaptors and Moleskine notebooks and all sorts of stuff.

[anonymous-user]

Got to keep the bazzers wondering why solicitors can afford to buy bluetooth leaden goody bags but not pay bazzer invoices...

[anonymous-user]

Just give the fools some shiny things.

[anonymous-user]

Booze is undoubtedly a bad thing, and being booze free has much to recommend it, but I and my friend will not quite give it up.

[anonymous-user]

Good point. My friend always lays off the booze and switches to the coke and hookers at midnight when he has an early drive the next day. Er....

[anonymous-user]

Can they swab for self loathing?

[anonymous-user]

Breadvan72 said:

Can they swab for self loathing?

Yes they can. If positive you are sentenced to 10 years as a Lib Dem MP.

[anonymous-user]

My friend's first week of 2021 has been intense - lots of work and not enough fun. He gets confused by politics but watched a lot of CNN and Fox and all sorts of stuff and is now a bit nutso. He says he is going to order a very hot curry from the local curry place and watch The Karate Kid.

[anonymous-user]

He has been told so, and to that end is re watching KK first.

[anonymous-user]

If I say wax off to my friend he will misconstrue.

[anonymous-user]

My friend has a very Karate Kid forename and used to get called Daniel-san.

[anonymous-user]

My friend sofa-vegged all Saturday binge watching Cobra Kai (plus a couple of good movies). He just went on eBay and bought a 200 quid bicycle.

[anonymous-user]

Arse. Now he has to remember where he put his bike helmet. He hasn't ridden a bike in about ten years, apart from a bit in Norfolk last lockdown. He already possesses spray-on clothing from his Marathoning. Yes, we are talking "last turkey in the shop".

[anonymous-user]

Glad to hear of the recovery.

Stay off the touring cars. That **** will **** you up.