What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
My friend was having a conversation with a group of people that included his (foreign) mother in law the other day. Whilst talking about speed limits she said that she's never been in a vehicle that had gone more than 120km/h on the road. He was too chicken to tell her that not only is she wrong, she's out by around 100km/h.
In my friends defence she does have a habit of falling asleep whilst he/his wife are driving.
In my friends defence she does have a habit of falling asleep whilst he/his wife are driving.
This dude's "friend" has been getting it right:-
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
My friend just aquired an all singing and dancing electric car. He has been reversing it close to the garage door to charge it while waiting for a proper charger to be installed.
He used the key fob to open the charging port and did not hold the boot button long enough.
The powered boot tailgate opened under power straight into the garage door taking the paint off the lip of the tailgate.
T#@t.
The garage door remains undamaged.
He used the key fob to open the charging port and did not hold the boot button long enough.
The powered boot tailgate opened under power straight into the garage door taking the paint off the lip of the tailgate.
T#@t.
The garage door remains undamaged.
My friend enjoyed a spirited drive home from the Sunday Service at Aston Martin, in his weekend and trackday toy. As he arrived home he thought to himself “that’s one of the most enjoyable Sunday drives in a long while”. He then promptly reversed into his own BMW on the driveway.
Cosmetic damage to both cars, but will require more than a bit of t-cut.
Cosmetic damage to both cars, but will require more than a bit of t-cut.
My friend decided to park outside of House of Fraser in a no parking zone until 18:00 (it was 17:45).
My friend was only in HOF buying a voucher for a work colleague who he hates.
He took no more than 5 minutes and he came out to see a horse of a woman writing out a parking ticket.
My friend decided to reverse away from the mare while she was still writing the ticket, and then proceed to leave her in a cloud of tyre smoke with the ticket in hand. My friend is displeased with the fine that will eventually come.
My friend was only in HOF buying a voucher for a work colleague who he hates.
He took no more than 5 minutes and he came out to see a horse of a woman writing out a parking ticket.
My friend decided to reverse away from the mare while she was still writing the ticket, and then proceed to leave her in a cloud of tyre smoke with the ticket in hand. My friend is displeased with the fine that will eventually come.
My friend has had a cough for a week. Seen his doctor, on the mend, all good.
Back at work... the last residual bits of cough coincides with trying to swallow tea. My friend manages to cough a mouthful of tea over his paperwork, and his keyboard... and his computer monitor, which then stopped working.
My friend had to explain to his horrified co workers and IT support why no meaningful work was done for ages while my friend cleaned up, replaced paperwork and scrounged a new computer monitor before inviting clients back into his office again, now free of the tsunami of tea that spewed forth from my friend's gob.
Fortunately the computer monitor is working again now that it's dried out overnight, and my friend has caught up with his overdue work.
My friend feels a bit of an idiot.
Back at work... the last residual bits of cough coincides with trying to swallow tea. My friend manages to cough a mouthful of tea over his paperwork, and his keyboard... and his computer monitor, which then stopped working.
My friend had to explain to his horrified co workers and IT support why no meaningful work was done for ages while my friend cleaned up, replaced paperwork and scrounged a new computer monitor before inviting clients back into his office again, now free of the tsunami of tea that spewed forth from my friend's gob.
Fortunately the computer monitor is working again now that it's dried out overnight, and my friend has caught up with his overdue work.
My friend feels a bit of an idiot.
Breadvan72 said:
It never ceases to amaze me that some members of PH claim to have actual friends. I can confirm that my friend has zero friends. That's why he comes on here a lot.
My friend finds a a lot of truth in this statement!Whilst being taught how to drive by his father my friend overtook a police car. On a zebra crossing. Mr Policeman, understandably, rather unhappy about this proceeded to rip my friends father a new one (but was kind enough not to proceed with fines/points etc). My friends father was distinctly unimpressed with my friend.
My friend bought a Subaru Tribeca from a Lithuanian "trader" failing to spot a significant oil leak. It's helping to keep the weeds down on his drive but really needs sorting.
He also sold his knackered Disco to another friend very cheap due to the borked clutch. He still hasn't summoned up the courage to call and check it was just the clutch, and nothing else major needed doing. He's had a lot on, but it's been 4 months.
My friend left work in the middle of the day for a job interview elsewhere and was so distracted that he drove into the automated bollard barrier before the light had gone green. The same barrier he drives over every single day twice with no issues and regularly mocks others who manage to idiotically hit it.
Luckily it only just caught the front and so smahed the barrier cover to bits and damaged the front lower grill but didn;t write off the car (as it has MANY other vehicles over the years) so he still made the interview (apparently didn't get the job anyway!)
Luckily it only just caught the front and so smahed the barrier cover to bits and damaged the front lower grill but didn;t write off the car (as it has MANY other vehicles over the years) so he still made the interview (apparently didn't get the job anyway!)
Breadvan72 said:
My friend caused a mahoosive traffic jam on the Westway on the eve of a bank holiday weekend by letting his forty two year old BL car conk out on the flyover bit near Paddington Green nick. He had to be rescued by no fewer than eight burly and sarcastic coppers.
The last time this happened to my friend was in the early 1980s when the dreadful VV carb on his few weeks old Ford decided to drown itself with petrol when on the front row of the grid at traffic lights. This was westwards on the A4 Crowell Road at the height of the early evening rush hour. My friend's car was also shoved off the main carriageway by coppers. My friend then had a two hour wait for the RAC to dry the engine out. My friend, understandably, was not happy.My friend (or rather his car) got on the radio traffic news one day in about 1990 when his 1970 Triumph Vitesse conked out on the Hammersmith Flyover during the morning rush. He was driving the car to a specialist garage for some work, but it broke down about half a mile from the destination.
I add that the Triumph Vitesse that went foof on Hammersmith Flyover was the same Triumph Vitesse that features in the opening post of this thread, which my friend drove into a ditch and hedge at many leptons. This was because my friend was driving like a clueless nutter, and then the brakes failed.
Some people who were having a barby nearby pushed the car out of the ditch. It left a dent in the hedge that remained visible for many years thereafter, to remind my friend what a twunt he was. After being pushed out of the ditch, my friend observed that the car appeared to be undamaged save for a dented front bumper and a broken wing mirror. So, off he went into a deeply rural area, where the car boiled over, because the radiator had been punctured during the prang. This happened miles from anywhere in the days before mobile phones. My friend had a long walk.
My friend later decided to change the radiator himself. A Vitesse has a very open and easy to work on engine bay. Changing the radiator would take a competent mechanic about an hour. It took my friend all day. It took all the skin off his knuckles, and when he had finished there were an alarming number of nuts and washers left over. He claims to have invented at least three new and remarkably filthy swear words during the experience. My friend pretty much gave up trying to fix his own cars after that.
Some people who were having a barby nearby pushed the car out of the ditch. It left a dent in the hedge that remained visible for many years thereafter, to remind my friend what a twunt he was. After being pushed out of the ditch, my friend observed that the car appeared to be undamaged save for a dented front bumper and a broken wing mirror. So, off he went into a deeply rural area, where the car boiled over, because the radiator had been punctured during the prang. This happened miles from anywhere in the days before mobile phones. My friend had a long walk.
My friend later decided to change the radiator himself. A Vitesse has a very open and easy to work on engine bay. Changing the radiator would take a competent mechanic about an hour. It took my friend all day. It took all the skin off his knuckles, and when he had finished there were an alarming number of nuts and washers left over. He claims to have invented at least three new and remarkably filthy swear words during the experience. My friend pretty much gave up trying to fix his own cars after that.
My friend has owned a selection of reasonably powerful 6 pot bmws, and despite some sideways slides antics, has never spun one. This friend has recently migrated to a dull as dishwater mk5 golf tdi due to a change circumstance.
My friend thinks it's one of the most inert and uninteresting handling cars he has driven, and in an attempt to get it to do anything other than under steer, managed to spin said golf on a dry roundabout.
My friend felt like a cock. So he tells me....
My friend thinks it's one of the most inert and uninteresting handling cars he has driven, and in an attempt to get it to do anything other than under steer, managed to spin said golf on a dry roundabout.
My friend felt like a cock. So he tells me....
rolando said:
Breadvan72 said:
My friend caused a mahoosive traffic jam on the Westway on the eve of a bank holiday weekend by letting his forty two year old BL car conk out on the flyover bit near Paddington Green nick. He had to be rescued by no fewer than eight burly and sarcastic coppers.
The last time this happened to my friend was in the early 1980s when the dreadful VV carb on his few weeks old Ford decided to drown itself with petrol when on the front row of the grid at traffic lights. This was westwards on the A4 Crowell Road at the height of the early evening rush hour. My friend's car was also shoved off the main carriageway by coppers. My friend then had a two hour wait for the RAC to dry the engine out. My friend, understandably, was not happy.In the dartford tunnel.
Before the bridge was built, so only two lanes each way.
On Boxing Day.
My friend can confirm this causes a significant impairment to traffic flow, is incredibly heavy to push out, that the air inside said tunnel is really not nice to breathe for any length of time and that encouraging beeps from traffic passing in the second lane wasn't what he needed at the time.
V12 Virgin said:
My friend decided to park outside of House of Fraser in a no parking zone until 18:00 (it was 17:45).
My friend was only in HOF buying a voucher for a work colleague who he hates.
He took no more than 5 minutes and he came out to see a horse of a woman writing out a parking ticket.
My friend decided to reverse away from the mare while she was still writing the ticket, and then proceed to leave her in a cloud of tyre smoke with the ticket in hand. My friend is displeased with the fine that will eventually come.
Yes the fine will come but sounds like it was worth it. My friend was only in HOF buying a voucher for a work colleague who he hates.
He took no more than 5 minutes and he came out to see a horse of a woman writing out a parking ticket.
My friend decided to reverse away from the mare while she was still writing the ticket, and then proceed to leave her in a cloud of tyre smoke with the ticket in hand. My friend is displeased with the fine that will eventually come.
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