Stupid things non petrolheads say....

[Flibble]

You'd hope someone with enough knowledge to even attempt an oil change would know enough to not run water through it...

[iva cosworth]

MartG said:

Just read the after race bits on the F1 thread and thankfully Bieber didn't do interviews.

Benedict Cumberbatch didn't get much luvin' either....

Whoever suggested Bieber do F1 interviews on Facetwit is ..

[iva cosworth]

A certain columnist [SK] in Classic Car magasine has written about a hyper car that is produced in

Wokingham......

He actually IS probably a petrolhead but anyway....

[Gypsum Fantastic]

Today, walking in the car park leaving work;

Co-worker: What's that big red thing sticking out of your tyre!?

Me: What!?

Co-worker: [Pointing at my wheel] That.

Me: ...that's a brake caliper.


Second time I have had this conversation.

[Vipers]

Cliftonite said:

To top up a hot engine with cold water, trickle it into the radiator while the engine is running.

They have caps!

[BHC]

AngryPartsBloke said:

hotchy said:

PAUL RUN said:

my mums always a good one for "non petrolhead sayings"
.
"saw a lovely car the other day you'd like"
.
"oh yes what was it..."
.
"A BLUE ONE"
.
.
.

Yea i get that alot.

So n So has a lovely new car

What kind?

A sporty red one...

which then turns out to be a standard clio etc lol

I got that all the time when i did parts for a big VX/Renualt dealer. When asked what model they required parts for a lot of the Retial customers would reply with "Oh, it's a red one" etc. I thought when I moved into the marine indsutry i would no longer have to deal with it.

I was wrong.

If anything it happens more often now.

"What engine have you got sir?"

"Oh it's the Blue one"

All of our engines are painted blue....

Mine was more simple. My ex-fiancee and I were discussing driving to Scotland for a weekend away.

I asked "Which car would you like to take?"
She replied "The blue one!"
"So which of my two blue cars would that be?"

I had a blue Discovery and a blue Rover 75.

[snoopy25]

Many years ago at work one of the girls had run out of petrol and was late coming into work.

As she relayed the story the part that will always stick with me is....

'I bought one of those cans for petrol and i only filled it up to just under half way as it was 5 litres and my engine is only a 1.6..............

I was the only one in the office that burst into laughter..........

[DickyC]

iva cosworth]A certain columnist [SK said:

in Classic Car magasine has written about a hyper car that is produced in

Wokingham......

He actually IS probably a petrolhead but anyway....

Was produced?

Not super?

[blueg33]

I have just had the annual

"Ooh your are off to LeMans next week, do you think you will win this year?"

Why do people think that everyone that goes to Lemans is competing in the race!

[Dr Jekyll]

blueg33 said:

I have just had the annual

"Ooh your are off to LeMans next week, do you think you will win this year?"

Why do people think that everyone that goes to Lemans is competing in the race!

Perhaps because spectators often cover their cars with stickers.

[shoestring7]

Facebook Updates from a (female) friend yesterday:

8.52am Damn. Got a puncture and there's no jack in the car. Stupid Audi


11.17am AA man found it. While he was loosening the wheel nuts, I discovered a hidden compartment in the boot. Containing the jack.


SS7

[VladD]

shoestring7 said:

Facebook Updates from a (female) friend yesterday:

8.52am Damn. Got a puncture and there's no jack in the car. Stupid Audi


11.17am AA man found it. While he was loosening the wheel nuts, I discovered a hidden compartment in the boot. Containing the jack.


SS7

I hope you posted a suitable reply.

[shoestring7]

VladD said:

shoestring7 said:

Facebook Updates from a (female) friend yesterday:

8.52am Damn. Got a puncture and there's no jack in the car. Stupid Audi


11.17am AA man found it. While he was loosening the wheel nuts, I discovered a hidden compartment in the boot. Containing the jack.


SS7

I hope you posted a suitable reply.

There is no suitable reply.

SS7

[scarble]

How about "You daft cow, it's not a hidden compartment, 95% of cars have the jack there."?

[VladD]

shoestring7 said:

VladD said:

shoestring7 said:

Facebook Updates from a (female) friend yesterday:

8.52am Damn. Got a puncture and there's no jack in the car. Stupid Audi


11.17am AA man found it. While he was loosening the wheel nuts, I discovered a hidden compartment in the boot. Containing the jack.


SS7

I hope you posted a suitable reply.

There is no suitable reply.

SS7

Surely the traditional RTFM would have done nicely.

[iva cosworth]

VladD said:

shoestring7 said:

VladD said:

shoestring7 said:

Facebook Updates from a (female) friend yesterday:

8.52am Damn. Got a puncture and there's no jack in the car. Stupid Audi


11.17am AA man found it. While he was loosening the wheel nuts, I discovered a hidden compartment in the boot. Containing the jack.


SS7

I hope you posted a suitable reply.

There is no suitable reply.

SS7

Surely the traditional RTFM would have done nicely.

But that is also in a secret compartment called a glovebox....

[busta]

If she didn't know where to find the jack, where on earth did she think she was going to get the spare wheel from?

[Fantuzzi]

busta said:

If she didn't know where to find the jack, where on earth did she think she was going to get the spare wheel from?

AA man...

snoopy25 said:

Many years ago at work one of the girls had run out of petrol and was late coming into work.

As she relayed the story the part that will always stick with me is....

'I bought one of those cans for petrol and i only filled it up to just under half way as it was 5 litres and my engine is only a 1.6..............

I was the only one in the office that burst into laughter..........

Seriously, surely they must have looked at the litres when they fill up and see that it is over 1.6 litres?

Its surprising how many people don't know the basics. And even more surprising the people that haven't fking googled this st if they don't know!


My friend once referred to people at a round about 'cutting him up', the people were coming from his right, he must have forgotten that little rule...

He was a truly terrible driver, 45 fking every where, almost killed us by suddenly turning into Jeremy Clarkson after we were stuck behind a truck for about 5 minutes (4 minutes and 59 secs he was happy as larry but suddenly at 5...) then tried to overtake with a micra, on a hill, with an approaching corner, in a car with two passengers. Cue lots of cars coming 'suddenly' and my friend and I having kittens and shouting.

[Halmyre]

shoestring7 said:

Facebook Updates from a (female) friend yesterday:

8.52am Damn. Got a puncture and there's no jack in the car. Stupid Audi


11.17am AA man found it. While he was loosening the wheel nuts, I discovered a hidden compartment in the boot. Containing the jack.


SS7

You think that's stupid? Gene Hackman didn't even know what the rocker panels were in 'The French Connection'. What a maroon!

Spookily, speaking of which:

iva cosworth said:

But that is also in a secret compartment called a glovebox....

As in Police Squad's parody of the French Connection scene.

[Evangelion]

blueg33 said:

I have just had the annual

"Ooh your are off to LeMans next week, do you think you will win this year?"

Why do people think that everyone that goes to Lemans is competing in the race!

That's nothing, I've frequently returned from trackdays and got people asking if I'd won ...