One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3
Discussion
Can someone please explain to me why people feel it necessary to crawl up a slip road at 45-50mph then suddenly accelerate upto 75 once you get on the motorway????? This is a fairly normal occurrence every morning when I head onto the M27, this morning it was a Citroen Berlingo van, we came to the point where you can join the motorway at a needles width over 50, he then just carries on onto the mway, causing the artic who was bearing down on him to indicate and pull into lane 2 all in one motion, and then he took off like a scalded cat upto over 70, leaving the artic in lane 2 with me on his inside!!!!! What goes on in a head where this is seen as acceptable!!!
Bobberoo99 said:
Can someone please explain to me why people feel it necessary to crawl up a slip road at 45-50mph then suddenly accelerate upto 75 once you get on the motorway????? This is a fairly normal occurrence every morning when I head onto the M27, this morning it was a Citroen Berlingo van, we came to the point where you can join the motorway at a needles width over 50, he then just carries on onto the mway, causing the artic who was bearing down on him to indicate and pull into lane 2 all in one motion, and then he took off like a scalded cat upto over 70, leaving the artic in lane 2 with me on his inside!!!!! What goes on in a head where this is seen as acceptable!!!
A lot of people seem to trundle about not thinking about much. The slip road is a 'funny little road' to their subconscious Homer Simpson.Then they wake up and it's 's
t - i'm on a motorway!'Bobberoo99 said:
Can someone please explain to me why people feel it necessary to crawl up a slip road at 45-50mph then suddenly accelerate upto 75 once you get on the motorway????? This is a fairly normal occurrence every morning when I head onto the M27, this morning it was a Citroen Berlingo van, we came to the point where you can join the motorway at a needles width over 50, he then just carries on onto the mway, causing the artic who was bearing down on him to indicate and pull into lane 2 all in one motion, and then he took off like a scalded cat upto over 70, leaving the artic in lane 2 with me on his inside!!!!! What goes on in a head where this is seen as acceptable!!!
I see this all the time. My trick (which probably would be worthy of this thread) is to sit behind them at 30mph, let them build up a gap, then gun it up the slip road, merging onto the motorway at 70.99dndd said:
Bobberoo99 said:
Can someone please explain to me why people feel it necessary to crawl up a slip road at 45-50mph then suddenly accelerate upto 75 once you get on the motorway????? This is a fairly normal occurrence every morning when I head onto the M27, this morning it was a Citroen Berlingo van, we came to the point where you can join the motorway at a needles width over 50, he then just carries on onto the mway, causing the artic who was bearing down on him to indicate and pull into lane 2 all in one motion, and then he took off like a scalded cat upto over 70, leaving the artic in lane 2 with me on his inside!!!!! What goes on in a head where this is seen as acceptable!!!
I see this all the time. My trick (which probably would be worthy of this thread) is to sit behind them at 30mph, let them build up a gap, then gun it up the slip road, merging onto the motorway at 70.
I had some Knob in a 'Hymmermobile' mobile home getting shirty with me on the A417 (or is it the A419?) near Swindon yesterday. It was busy. Busier in lane 2 than in lane 1 so me moving over wasn't an option, before anyone suggests that!
I was in lane 1 at about 60 mph. Mobile home muppet was crawling up the slip road. I eased off the gas, trying to make a space for him, and the car ahead of him, to get off the slip road ahead of me. The car ahead took full advantage, but mobile home muppet kept on slowing down to match my speed, and it looked like he was determined to get into lane 1 alongside me. I wasn't having that, so to avoid conflict I hit the gas again and created a larger gap behind me, into which he got out no problem. Then, to keep a safe distance from the car ahead, I eased back a little. The chap in the mobile home then got within about a metre of the rear of my car, and flashed his high-beams at me before pulling out into lane 2 causing following traffic to brake. I don't know for sure, but I think he was a complete arsehat. Clues included, but not limited to: the speed-matching on the slip road; the pulling out without checking it was clear; the lack of dipped headlamps or sidelights even though we were well past sunset at this point; the tailgating. I wasn't the only "victim" of the tailgating either. He tried it on a couple of other cars before we reached the M4 roundabout too.
The way '99dndd' deals with these idiots is the same as my method too, when you're stuck behind them on a slip road. Hold back, slow down, let them get to the end of the slip road while keeping as much of it available to you as possible. Then, when you're sure they are well clear and there is plenty of room to commit to accelerating, boot it up to the same speed as the traffic on the motorway and look for a gap into which you can safely insert your car. Never, ever get "involved" with them by tooting, or flashing your lights, etc, or by trying to overtake on the slip road. They will ALWAYS find some ingenious way in which to make life even more difficult for you, so they are best left alone until you can make a swift overtake and leave them behind. Either that, or as already pointed out, they will take off like the proverbial "scalded cat" as soon as they are on the motorway and you'll hopefully never see them again anyway...
Men who rock up for fuel, stty (usually some rap, drum and base or similar) music blaring at a ridiculous level and then leave the music blaring with either their windows or door open whilst filling up and then off they trot to pay; music still blaring.
No you arent cool, you are a knob!
tty (usually some rap, drum and base or similar) music blaring at a ridiculous level and then leave the music blaring with either their windows or door open whilst filling up and then off they trot to pay; music still blaring. No you arent cool, you are a knob!
99dndd said:
I see this all the time. My trick (which probably would be worthy of this thread) is to sit behind them at 30mph, let them build up a gap, then gun it up the slip road, merging onto the motorway at 70.
My Mrs did this some time back and the numpty in front decided to stop on the end of the slip and wait for big enough gap 
HTP99 said:
Men who rock up for fuel, stty (usually some rap, drum and base or similar) music blaring at a ridiculous level and then leave the music blaring with either their windows or door open whilst filling up and then off they trot to pay; music still blaring.
No you arent cool, you are a knob!
Also, little old ladies who rock up for fuel, confuse the brake with the accelerator and come within a few inches of crushing you between their stty (usually some rap, drum and base or similar) music blaring at a ridiculous level and then leave the music blaring with either their windows or door open whilst filling up and then off they trot to pay; music still blaring. No you arent cool, you are a knob!
tty Honda and your car. No, you aren't safe to be driving, you are an elderly knob.
The complete and utter cretin who straight lined the exit of the Segensworth round about onto the stretch of dual carriageway heading for Fareham at 5.45 this morning, you sir, are an absolute FKING menace, unless you drive with your eyes shut then there is no way you didn't see me on the inside of you as we both came through the lights onto the exit of the round about, you decided to straight line the first part of the round about as you obviously can't be arsed with steering at that time of the morning, you managed to weave into the centre lane at the lights which we were both slowing for, side by side, and then what???? Did you just stop functioning???? Did you have a seizure??? Are you so FKING stupid that your incapable of driving at that time of the morning???? The only reason I didn't end up stuffed in the side of your car is because i have really good brakes and caught you out of the corner of my eye!!!!!! KNOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KING menace, unless you drive with your eyes shut then there is no way you didn't see me on the inside of you as we both came through the lights onto the exit of the round about, you decided to straight line the first part of the round about as you obviously can't be arsed with steering at that time of the morning, you managed to weave into the centre lane at the lights which we were both slowing for, side by side, and then what???? Did you just stop functioning???? Did you have a seizure??? Are you so FKING stupid that your incapable of driving at that time of the morning???? The only reason I didn't end up stuffed in the side of your car is because i have really good brakes and caught you out of the corner of my eye!!!!!! KNOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!Spumfry said:
HTP99 said:
Men who rock up for fuel, stty (usually some rap, drum and base or similar) music blaring at a ridiculous level and then leave the music blaring with either their windows or door open whilst filling up and then off they trot to pay; music still blaring.
No you arent cool, you are a knob!
Also, little old ladies who rock up for fuel, confuse the brake with the accelerator and come within a few inches of crushing you between their stty (usually some rap, drum and base or similar) music blaring at a ridiculous level and then leave the music blaring with either their windows or door open whilst filling up and then off they trot to pay; music still blaring. No you arent cool, you are a knob!
tty Honda and your car. No, you aren't safe to be driving, you are an elderly knob.
Triumph Man said:
Knobs who sit in the entrance of the filling station, blocking everyone else from entering and causing a tailback on the entrance road. Pick a bloody pump and be done with it! I must admit it gives me great satisfaction in driving around them when I can.
If there's a queue for the 'correct side pump for your car' I used to just drive to the other side and pull the hose over the top of my car and fill up. It was a 2005 Corsa so I didn't care. But since driving new cars, I don't do this anymore. The hoses are covered in all sorts of grit and st and make a mess of the paint. I do however close the gap.Triumph Man said:
Knobs who sit in the entrance of the filling station, blocking everyone else from entering and causing a tailback on the entrance road. Pick a bloody pump and be done with it! I must admit it gives me great satisfaction in driving around them when I can.
Morrisons fuel forecourt in Farnborough on Saturday morning, and the cretins were out in force.Fair enough, in a LWB Transit-type van you're pretty much stuck with the "correct side" pumps, but for three of them to queue up one behind the other, when there are three 'islands' to choose from, was a bit knobbish.
I managed to squeeze past, onto a queue for a "wrong side" island, and was filling up quite happily when the lady in the shop opened up the tannoy to ask drivers to move forward into shorter queues for other pumps because traffic was tailing back onto the road outside, obstructing through-traffic.
After I'd filled up I went in to pay and she looked out again, and visibly shrugged/sighed, as no-one had taken any notice of her request and the queue was still backed up in one long line for the middle 'island' despite there being three empty spaces at other pumps...
Jonno02 said:
Triumph Man said:
Knobs who sit in the entrance of the filling station, blocking everyone else from entering and causing a tailback on the entrance road. Pick a bloody pump and be done with it! I must admit it gives me great satisfaction in driving around them when I can.
If there's a queue for the 'correct side pump for your car' I used to just drive to the other side and pull the hose over the top of my car and fill up. It was a 2005 Corsa so I didn't care. But since driving new cars, I don't do this anymore. The hoses are covered in all sorts of grit and st and make a mess of the paint. I do however close the gap.Blue RS4 full of throbbers last night, I was in the right hand lane (straight on) they were in the left lane (left turn only) approaching a roundabout. They were indicating left and edging forward aggressively when I came alongside. Traffic was in my favour so I got a cars length in front of them. This did not please the aforementioned throbbers.
Entered the roundabout and they floored it, and went straight on, I slammed on the brakes, coming to a stop on the roundabout, to avoid having the front of my car taken off.
They also stopped, windows down, gesturing out the window at me. I just pointed to my dashcam and gave them a thumbs up.
They eventually moved off and proceeded to do some digital driving, I held back, which I think annoyed them even more as I wasn't "up for it" (Ignis Sport vs RS4, really?)
Came to the next roundabout and they were watching to see where I was going. Nothing behind me, so I feigned going straight on, and hooked it left. I could see their brake lights come on after the roundabout, possibly considering a U turn, until the person behind them tooted and gave them a new target.
People in Aberdeen, beware a Blue RS4 with personalised plate beginning with RS and a custom SS exhaust.
Entered the roundabout and they floored it, and went straight on, I slammed on the brakes, coming to a stop on the roundabout, to avoid having the front of my car taken off.
They also stopped, windows down, gesturing out the window at me. I just pointed to my dashcam and gave them a thumbs up.
They eventually moved off and proceeded to do some digital driving, I held back, which I think annoyed them even more as I wasn't "up for it" (Ignis Sport vs RS4, really?)
Came to the next roundabout and they were watching to see where I was going. Nothing behind me, so I feigned going straight on, and hooked it left. I could see their brake lights come on after the roundabout, possibly considering a U turn, until the person behind them tooted and gave them a new target.
People in Aberdeen, beware a Blue RS4 with personalised plate beginning with RS and a custom SS exhaust.
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