Why Don't People Listen? (Rhetorical Question)
Discussion
Not a real question nor a rant, more a musing upon one of the mysteries of the human condition.
A year ago a young work colleague of Mrs F approached me. He was about to buy his first car and was seeking advice on the basis that I 'know about cars'. I wasn't that keen to be honest, it's alright thinking I have a clue if buying for myself but if I get it wrong for someone else that's (at the very least) embarassing.
He turned up with a Ford Ka that a friend of a friend was selling. Said 'friend' was really a dealer on the sly but kept denying it to the lad. The first thing I noticed about the car was the new front bumper, headlights, grille and radiator so question one was obvious. He got on the phone, asked the seller about accident history and was told there was none. Pure b
ks. We did an HPI search and shock, horror, step back in amazement it's a category 'D'. At this point I became slightly more insistent about him not buying from this shyster but he just wasn't listening.
Next day Mrs F returns from work to tell me he's bought the car. Not just bought the car but paid the full asking price which I'd demonstrated was at least 30% over book price for a car with history.
Two months later the Ka is written off by the lad pulling out into the path of a cement mixer lorry. Luckily for him the other driver seems to have had a sense of humour as once he'd ascertained there were no injuries he buggered off in his lightly scratched lorry leaving the remains of the completely mullered Ka by the side of the road.
A month later Mr F reports that the lad has bought another Ka from...guess who? We have a couple of conversations over following months during which it comes to light that among other problems the car suffers from a permanently illuminated engine management light (see what I did there?) that the 'I'm-not-a' dealer has had several attempts at extinguishing. Today he called in to seeking advice on how to sell it as he's off to college and can't afford to run it. Very quickly it became obvious what he was after, me repairing the bloody thing. In addition to the engine management light it suffers from a couple of electrical gremlins (windows and ciggy lighter), two blown bulbs, a screw in a tyre, a dead catalytic converter (the main culprit for the engine light I think) and a mysterious loss of coolant. I topped the latter off, tightened the cap and while we were standing next to it heard it hissing. I pointed out the glaringly bleeding obvious to which he responded "But the water couldn't be getting out that way, could it?"
Of course the 'I'm-not-really-a' dealer won't sort the engine management problem because it's been left to run on giving him enough wriggle room. I've fitted a couple of bulbs for the lad, told him to get a new coolant cap and a repair/replacement for the tyre and shown him where to find a cheap(ish) converter. Beyond that I'm buggered if I'll get involved not least on the basis that he never listened to me in the first place so why should I bother now?
Like I say, not a rant. Just bewilderment. The lad claims he's broke and will let the car go for relatively little because there's so much wrong with it but fails to see whose fault that is. How the hell he'll survive away from home is a mystery
A year ago a young work colleague of Mrs F approached me. He was about to buy his first car and was seeking advice on the basis that I 'know about cars'. I wasn't that keen to be honest, it's alright thinking I have a clue if buying for myself but if I get it wrong for someone else that's (at the very least) embarassing.
He turned up with a Ford Ka that a friend of a friend was selling. Said 'friend' was really a dealer on the sly but kept denying it to the lad. The first thing I noticed about the car was the new front bumper, headlights, grille and radiator so question one was obvious. He got on the phone, asked the seller about accident history and was told there was none. Pure b
ks. We did an HPI search and shock, horror, step back in amazement it's a category 'D'. At this point I became slightly more insistent about him not buying from this shyster but he just wasn't listening. Next day Mrs F returns from work to tell me he's bought the car. Not just bought the car but paid the full asking price which I'd demonstrated was at least 30% over book price for a car with history.
Two months later the Ka is written off by the lad pulling out into the path of a cement mixer lorry. Luckily for him the other driver seems to have had a sense of humour as once he'd ascertained there were no injuries he buggered off in his lightly scratched lorry leaving the remains of the completely mullered Ka by the side of the road.
A month later Mr F reports that the lad has bought another Ka from...guess who? We have a couple of conversations over following months during which it comes to light that among other problems the car suffers from a permanently illuminated engine management light (see what I did there?) that the 'I'm-not-a' dealer has had several attempts at extinguishing. Today he called in to seeking advice on how to sell it as he's off to college and can't afford to run it. Very quickly it became obvious what he was after, me repairing the bloody thing. In addition to the engine management light it suffers from a couple of electrical gremlins (windows and ciggy lighter), two blown bulbs, a screw in a tyre, a dead catalytic converter (the main culprit for the engine light I think) and a mysterious loss of coolant. I topped the latter off, tightened the cap and while we were standing next to it heard it hissing. I pointed out the glaringly bleeding obvious to which he responded "But the water couldn't be getting out that way, could it?"
Of course the 'I'm-not-really-a' dealer won't sort the engine management problem because it's been left to run on giving him enough wriggle room. I've fitted a couple of bulbs for the lad, told him to get a new coolant cap and a repair/replacement for the tyre and shown him where to find a cheap(ish) converter. Beyond that I'm buggered if I'll get involved not least on the basis that he never listened to me in the first place so why should I bother now?
Like I say, not a rant. Just bewilderment. The lad claims he's broke and will let the car go for relatively little because there's so much wrong with it but fails to see whose fault that is. How the hell he'll survive away from home is a mystery
Scarily common. I've been asked similar things. Quick cross check with the PH massive, I'm not talking bks, and pass the info on.
Some listen, some don't. The listeners are usually happy, the ignorers less so.
Recent one, girl at work discovered some website where you can swap cars, and got an offer to swap her clio (value 3k) for a fine, modified scooby (worth £2.5 on a good day). I suggested that a check of insurance and living with 20mpg might be wise.
2 weeks later, the new scooby has to go, she can't afford the £240 a month insurance or the £60 a week petrol. Hard to be sympathetic....
ks, and pass the info on.Some listen, some don't. The listeners are usually happy, the ignorers less so.
Recent one, girl at work discovered some website where you can swap cars, and got an offer to swap her clio (value 3k) for a fine, modified scooby (worth £2.5 on a good day). I suggested that a check of insurance and living with 20mpg might be wise.
2 weeks later, the new scooby has to go, she can't afford the £240 a month insurance or the £60 a week petrol. Hard to be sympathetic....
The most irritating thing about this is that they seek you out because "you know about cars" then they go with the decision they had already made before talking to you anyway.
This happens to me with PCs, phones as well as cars. I can usually spot someone who just likes the sound of their own voice but occasionally one gets through and I invest the time in researching them a solution only for them to go with something totally unsuitable which they end up moaning about thereafter.
This happens to me with PCs, phones as well as cars. I can usually spot someone who just likes the sound of their own voice but occasionally one gets through and I invest the time in researching them a solution only for them to go with something totally unsuitable which they end up moaning about thereafter.
In a positive way, we all learn by mistakes...and his mistakes of a few hundred quid now, hopefully will save him buying a dodgy car in 5 years when he's got a few grand to spend.
I remember blowing half of my student grant on a Triumph GT6 which a) Did the big ends 2 weeks after I had bought it and b) The floor was made out of an old Castrol GTX tin ... It was 1985, but I learnt so much from that experience !!
I remember blowing half of my student grant on a Triumph GT6 which a) Did the big ends 2 weeks after I had bought it and b) The floor was made out of an old Castrol GTX tin ... It was 1985, but I learnt so much from that experience !!
Mars said:
The most irritating thing about this is that they seek you out because "you know about cars" then they go with the decision they had already made before talking to you anyway.
No different to most threads on most forums then where the OP asks a question - and usually receives a long list of binary responses and bickering between respondents so sod it, they go with their original thoughts anyway. 
Zwoelf said:
Mars said:
The most irritating thing about this is that they seek you out because "you know about cars" then they go with the decision they had already made before talking to you anyway.
No different to most threads on most forums then where the OP asks a question - and usually receives a long list of binary responses and bickering between respondents so sod it, they go with their original thoughts anyway. I try not to get into car discussions with people who are not enthusiasts. Too much of what I say either go's other their head or is seemingly completely irrelevant to their choice!!
John D. said:
Zwoelf said:
Mars said:
The most irritating thing about this is that they seek you out because "you know about cars" then they go with the decision they had already made before talking to you anyway.
No different to most threads on most forums then where the OP asks a question - and usually receives a long list of binary responses and bickering between respondents so sod it, they go with their original thoughts anyway. Flat_Steve said:
I've noticed this too, I'm often asked advice about computers, cars and mobiles but without exception all they want is to hear the choice they've already made to be confirmed. They aren't actually looking for advice at all.
Oscar Wilde said:
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
I think car purchases are very emotive, even for people who aren't remotely interested in cars.
A number of my friends have totally ignored my advice and ended up losing cash. Like the guy who wanted an RX8 but decided he couldn't afford one straight away so bought a Mazda 6 as a stop-gap to save cash against my advice. He ended up losing £1500 in about 6 months before deciding he couldn't wait any longer for the RX8. It would have been far cheaper to buy the RX8 to begin with like I told him to.
The friend who spent £8,000 on an 8 year old IS200 because it was from a Lexus main dealer (therefore worth so much more), he traded in it 18 months later for £3000 to buy a brand new Citroen C1 in order to 'save money'..
The friend who didn't even tell me he was buying a car, he turned up with a Vauxhall Frontera which he had spent £2,000 on. A week later the head gasket blew and he weighed it in for scrap. If he had asked my advice I would have said 'do not buy a vauxhall Frontera'!
Don't get my started on the MPG obsessives. My mother spent a fortune on an Audi A3 TDI because it will be 'cheap to run', yes the MPG is good but its now worth about 1/3 of what she paid for it. Worse still she wants to buy something newer to save money on reapirs even though it would be fair cheaper to repair the one she has.
Then theres the people who get fleeced on servicing. My mother again. Last year she got ripped off on a set of tyres by the garage who services her car even though i told her to compare prices online. Roll-on 12 months its time for another set (she does 25k a year) so you would think she would remember my advice from last time? No. She has her MOT on a thursday and its turns out two of her tyres are borderline legal. This time she at least asks me some advice but shes doing a 600 mile round trip the following day so theres not much I can do, we are at the mercy of what the local tyre place has in stock. I do some research and make a list of 3 types of tyre she should be getting and some prices to aim for. So she returns from the tyre shop having not only bought some random tyres the bloke recommended but also paid more for them than the highly rated tyres I had listed for her. I give up!
Fair enough if people don't know much about buying/servicing cars. But it really hacks me off when people dont listen to your advice!
A number of my friends have totally ignored my advice and ended up losing cash. Like the guy who wanted an RX8 but decided he couldn't afford one straight away so bought a Mazda 6 as a stop-gap to save cash against my advice. He ended up losing £1500 in about 6 months before deciding he couldn't wait any longer for the RX8. It would have been far cheaper to buy the RX8 to begin with like I told him to.
The friend who spent £8,000 on an 8 year old IS200 because it was from a Lexus main dealer (therefore worth so much more), he traded in it 18 months later for £3000 to buy a brand new Citroen C1 in order to 'save money'..
The friend who didn't even tell me he was buying a car, he turned up with a Vauxhall Frontera which he had spent £2,000 on. A week later the head gasket blew and he weighed it in for scrap. If he had asked my advice I would have said 'do not buy a vauxhall Frontera'!
Don't get my started on the MPG obsessives. My mother spent a fortune on an Audi A3 TDI because it will be 'cheap to run', yes the MPG is good but its now worth about 1/3 of what she paid for it. Worse still she wants to buy something newer to save money on reapirs even though it would be fair cheaper to repair the one she has.
Then theres the people who get fleeced on servicing. My mother again. Last year she got ripped off on a set of tyres by the garage who services her car even though i told her to compare prices online. Roll-on 12 months its time for another set (she does 25k a year) so you would think she would remember my advice from last time? No. She has her MOT on a thursday and its turns out two of her tyres are borderline legal. This time she at least asks me some advice but shes doing a 600 mile round trip the following day so theres not much I can do, we are at the mercy of what the local tyre place has in stock. I do some research and make a list of 3 types of tyre she should be getting and some prices to aim for. So she returns from the tyre shop having not only bought some random tyres the bloke recommended but also paid more for them than the highly rated tyres I had listed for her. I give up!
Fair enough if people don't know much about buying/servicing cars. But it really hacks me off when people dont listen to your advice!
My best one recently was a question from friends of ours who were expecting twins and short of cash. Which diesel people carrier should we get up to about 3 grand max? I've been in the motor trade years so get this a lot. Pointed them towards usual suspects, all sub 3k. Next thing I know they've bought a Toyota verso thing, petrol, brand new, on finance. They'd walked into Toyota and signed up on first thing they saw.... Why bother asking? 
uncinquesei said:
My best one recently was a question from friends of ours who were expecting twins and short of cash. Which diesel people carrier should we get up to about 3 grand max? I've been in the motor trade years so get this a lot. Pointed them towards usual suspects, all sub 3k. Next thing I know they've bought a Toyota verso thing, petrol, brand new, on finance. They'd walked into Toyota and signed up on first thing they saw.... Why bother asking?
Here's how it worked:They talked to you.
You mentioned "Toyota" in all the no doubt lots of sound rationale for buying X, Y or Z within budget and perfectly suitable for their needs.
They heard a single word.
They went to that dealership (even though you're unlikely to find a sub-£3k motor at a franchised dealership)
They asked a salesperson what they should buy.
They told them what they
They bought it because this person is a professional car seller person as opposed to a mere mate who knows a bit about cars...
It's not exactly uncommon.
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