Hero to Zero

Author
Discussion

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

60 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Who would like to share their stories of pushing that little bit too hard in their pride and joy resulting in a embarrassing faux pas and a call to the insurance company.

Starting off back when 17 years of age I decided after watching many rally video's about the Swedish Snow rally, I would be able to take my Vauxhall Nova 1.2 Signature up into the local forest in heavy snow to have some fun and test my amazing car control. "Well at least in my head that is"

So off I went pretending to take the dog for a walk zipping about the forest having the best fun ever. Ok I was not being stupid and slowing down when getting near corners in case someone happened to be coming the other way but I was in control.

Unfortunately after going up and down the same track around 10-15 times I had started to leave the snow in a more ice like condition and during my last effort before actually taking the poor dog for its walk I hit a very shiny patch of ice and veered down a bank just missing a huge rock.

This was me totally stuck with no chance of escape but the dog did look delighted we had stopped.

When I exited the car my non locking fuel cap was allowing the nearly full tank of fuel to just pour out the cap but thankfully the car only had a very small dent.

As no mobile phones back then I then did take the dog for it's walk to the nearest house around 4 miles away and called for assistance from the local garage.

I am positive the man with the recovery vehicle knew that my excuse that I was trying to find the dog and a dear jumped out was the biggest load of bull he had every heard but kindly recovered the stricken Nova and stupid driver.

Anyway lesson learned and very lucky no insurance companies had to be called.

Anyone else care to share their moments of madness or just a simple mistake?







Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 29th July 16:19

buckline

377 posts

169 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Once driving my little brother home along an A road i knew quite well, i thought it would be a good idea to show off to him, so i turned the ignition off and handed him the keys. It was all fun and games for about a second until i needed to correct my steering ever so slightly and of course the steering wheel locked.

Momentarily stting myself i managed to wrestle the key back into the ignition and got the wheel unlocked before an impending right hander with a telegraph pole then a wall to help me stop. We were about a second away from disaster, it was a Pug 106 Zest Two and we wouldn't have stood a chance.

It still sticks with me as one of the most stupid things I've ever done behind the wheel.

Prizam

2,428 posts

147 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
In my late teens, early 20’s. Driving to see my girlfriend, going along a lengthy 50mph country road. Almost dead straight for around 5 miles. Sat behind a row of cars, that in turn were sat behind an old boy driving an old shape Suzuki Swift.. at precisely 35mph.

After about 5 minutes of this, and seeing that absolutely everyone in the queue of traffic was too much of a pansy to overtake the old boy, I got fed-up. And a heroic overtake ensued.
2nd gear and the beast of a 2.0 twin spark jumped in to live. “Fun starts at 3,000 rpm”!

1, 2, 3 … 6, 7… 8 cars passed and I was now doing probably about double the speed limit. Wowahh cowboy.

Suitably satisfied with my manoeuvre (It IS legal to speed when overtaking, right?) I got off the gas, sat in 5th gear whilst going up a genital incline on a straight and let the speedo settle back at 50mph.

A clear road ahead, Barbie girl on the radio and the thought that my girlfriend would let me fondle her had me in a good mood. The road approached its first corner in several miles. It started to rain. A LOT.

I entered the sweeping right to left hander with spots of rain hitting the windscreen. Then, suddenly the car was in a deluge of water. Hitting the wipers revealed a stationary queue of traffic in front of me. A buss coming the other way and the pulsing feeling of nothing but ABS through the break peddle.

In a split second decision, in an attempt not to plough in to a line of stationary traffic at 50, I went for the verge. Then, slightly inadvertently a rather large concrete bollard. Followed by another, and another. And then what looked like a tree. But turned out to be something less substantial. Followed by a brick wall. And out the other side before coming to a halt.

As I sat there, flames licking up what was left of the windscreen, I thought I had best get out. The car in shape now resembled a banana after a sustained monkey attack. As such, the driver’s door needed quite some persuasion to open. And when it did, I bolted, tripped and slithered out of the driver’s door on my face.

Now, airbags hurt. A lot! But not nearly as much as my pride did as the old boy drove past at 2mph gurning out the window at me. And everyone else who I had overtaken gave me the coffee bean salute.
The only person who stopped is the guy, who’s life presumably flashed before his eyes as he sat helpless in the queue of traffic watching a fireball of an Alfa narrowly avoid him and flash past.
In what seemed like moments, the cops arrived. Followed by an ambulance. All of the emergency services were good, the cops didn’t treat me like number 1 criminal. And once they found I did have tax, mot and insurance. And most importantly, was not drunk. They sent me on my way to hospital.

The biggest annoyance in all of this, is the accident was not related to my genuinely heroic overtake of a load of zombie wombles, nor my previous excessive speed. But everyone will think so. “Speed kills, don’t overtake” etc…

No insurance claimed – paid for the damage out of my own pocket. Worked out cheaper
No charges – Coppers didn’t find me at fault for anything
News - it was in the papers
Car – purchased a faster one… but with more airbags.
The holdup – A broken down tractor caused the queuing traffic.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

60 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Prizam said:
No insurance claimed – paid for the damage out of my own pocket. Worked out cheaper
No charges – Coppers didn’t find me at fault for anything
News - it was in the papers
Car – purchased a faster one… but with more airbags.
The holdup – A broken down tractor caused the queuing traffic.

But the main question is did you get a sympathy shag out of it?

Hackney

6,989 posts

214 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Why did you go all the way to Finland to watch rally videos?

herewego

8,814 posts

219 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Prizam said:
No insurance claimed – paid for the damage out of my own pocket. Worked out cheaper
No charges – Coppers didn’t find me at fault for anything
News - it was in the papers
Car – purchased a faster one… but with more airbags.
The holdup – A broken down tractor caused the queuing traffic.
I slightly get the impression you think the tractor was to blame. I hope I'm wrong.

Trevatanus

11,207 posts

156 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
buckline said:
Once driving my little brother home along an A road i knew quite well, i thought it would be a good idea to show off to him, so i turned the ignition off and handed him the keys. It was all fun and games for about a second until i needed to correct my steering ever so slightly and of course the steering wheel locked.

Momentarily stting myself i managed to wrestle the key back into the ignition and got the wheel unlocked before an impending right hander with a telegraph pole then a wall to help me stop. We were about a second away from disaster, it was a Pug 106 Zest Two and we wouldn't have stood a chance.

It still sticks with me as one of the most stupid things I've ever done behind the wheel.
Reminds me of my now departed friend Simon, who had an XR3i for about 3 months before it was repossessed.
Driving along Chiswick High Street, one friend in the front, me in the back.
Turned to his passenger, asked him to get his cigarettes out of the glove compartment.
Glove compartment was locked and needed a key. The ignition key. Simon removed the key and handed it to his passenger to allow him to open it. A split second later and, as above, the steering locked and we mounted the pavement!

phil_cardiff

7,250 posts

214 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
I tried a 'Scandinavian flick' into a sharp right hander in a Cavalier. It didn't end well. Even managed to rip one of the tyres from the rim of the steel wheels.

I was on my way to a field trip about 50 miles from where I lived, having never been there before. I've now bought a house in the area and drive the corner every day. I'm more careful now but not a month goes by without me seeing a poor soul stuck in the field at the same corner.


Timbo_S2

569 posts

269 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Ooooh, 1999. It was snowey, and I'd picked up my brand new A3 1.8T Quattro earlier that month. Full car, roads I knew well, 4 wheel drifts. Wonderful.

Until I found at the bottom of a steep drive, the occupants had gritted their driveway. And carried on onto the road. round the corner I glided, all four wheels spinning. Until they all hooked up and I launched myself at a wall.

New bumper and a brickie for the day required.

Prizam

2,428 posts

147 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
herewego said:
Prizam said:
No insurance claimed – paid for the damage out of my own pocket. Worked out cheaper
No charges – Coppers didn’t find me at fault for anything
News - it was in the papers
Car – purchased a faster one… but with more airbags.
The holdup – A broken down tractor caused the queuing traffic.
I slightly get the impression you think the tractor was to blame. I hope I'm wrong.
Yes, stupid tractor for breaking down in an inconvenient place. How dare he.

LordGrover

33,674 posts

218 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Prizam said:
...
Suitably satisfied with my manoeuvre (It IS legal to speed when overtaking, right?) I got off the gas, sat in 5th gear whilst going up a genital incline on a straight and let the speedo settle back at 50mph.
...
yikes

buckline

377 posts

169 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Trevatanus said:
Reminds me of my now departed friend Simon, who had an XR3i for about 3 months before it was repossessed.
Driving along Chiswick High Street, one friend in the front, me in the back.
Turned to his passenger, asked him to get his cigarettes out of the glove compartment.
Glove compartment was locked and needed a key. The ignition key. Simon removed the key and handed it to his passenger to allow him to open it. A split second later and, as above, the steering locked and we mounted the pavement!
Glad I wasn't the only eejit out there.

DibblyDobbler

11,324 posts

203 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Back in the day I had an Impreza Turbo - loved that car. Came out of the house one morning to about 1cm of snow - guy over the road is getting into his Passat at the same time. I call over to him - 'Watch yourself mate, I've got four wheel drive!' Doing about 15mph at the end of our road I attempt a Scandinavian flick to set it up for the 90 degree right hander... yes you guessed it, terminal understeer into the kerb. Nearside wheel, suspension etc all knackered - manage to limp back to my driveway just in time to see my mate and his wife and kids ALL pointing and pissing themselves laughing as they drove off.

bks paperbag Lesson learned though!

SuperchargedVR6

3,138 posts

226 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Prizam said:
In my late teens, early 20’s. Driving to see my girlfriend, going along a lengthy 50mph country road. Almost dead straight for around 5 miles. Sat behind a row of cars, that in turn were sat behind an old boy driving an old shape Suzuki Swift.. at precisely 35mph.

After about 5 minutes of this, and seeing that absolutely everyone in the queue of traffic was too much of a pansy to overtake the old boy, I got fed-up. And a heroic overtake ensued.
2nd gear and the beast of a 2.0 twin spark jumped in to live. “Fun starts at 3,000 rpm”!

1, 2, 3 … 6, 7… 8 cars passed and I was now doing probably about double the speed limit. Wowahh cowboy.

Suitably satisfied with my manoeuvre (It IS legal to speed when overtaking, right?) I got off the gas, sat in 5th gear whilst going up a genital incline on a straight and let the speedo settle back at 50mph.

A clear road ahead, Barbie girl on the radio and the thought that my girlfriend would let me fondle her had me in a good mood. The road approached its first corner in several miles. It started to rain. A LOT.

I entered the sweeping right to left hander with spots of rain hitting the windscreen. Then, suddenly the car was in a deluge of water. Hitting the wipers revealed a stationary queue of traffic in front of me. A buss coming the other way and the pulsing feeling of nothing but ABS through the break peddle.

In a split second decision, in an attempt not to plough in to a line of stationary traffic at 50, I went for the verge. Then, slightly inadvertently a rather large concrete bollard. Followed by another, and another. And then what looked like a tree. But turned out to be something less substantial. Followed by a brick wall. And out the other side before coming to a halt.

As I sat there, flames licking up what was left of the windscreen, I thought I had best get out. The car in shape now resembled a banana after a sustained monkey attack. As such, the driver’s door needed quite some persuasion to open. And when it did, I bolted, tripped and slithered out of the driver’s door on my face.

Now, airbags hurt. A lot! But not nearly as much as my pride did as the old boy drove past at 2mph gurning out the window at me. And everyone else who I had overtaken gave me the coffee bean salute.
The only person who stopped is the guy, who’s life presumably flashed before his eyes as he sat helpless in the queue of traffic watching a fireball of an Alfa narrowly avoid him and flash past.
In what seemed like moments, the cops arrived. Followed by an ambulance. All of the emergency services were good, the cops didn’t treat me like number 1 criminal. And once they found I did have tax, mot and insurance. And most importantly, was not drunk. They sent me on my way to hospital.

The biggest annoyance in all of this, is the accident was not related to my genuinely heroic overtake of a load of zombie wombles, nor my previous excessive speed. But everyone will think so. “Speed kills, don’t overtake” etc…

No insurance claimed – paid for the damage out of my own pocket. Worked out cheaper
No charges – Coppers didn’t find me at fault for anything
News - it was in the papers
Car – purchased a faster one… but with more airbags.
The holdup – A broken down tractor caused the queuing traffic.
Great story! laugh at the bold bits!

Adz The Rat

14,889 posts

215 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
When I was 19 I had a MK1 Golf with full GTI styling and interior, sadly it was a wheezy 1.3 lump under the bonnet.

A group of used to practise handbrake turns and j-turns on the local playing fields, the grass allowing them to slide around easy with no damage.

One weekend when we were meeting up to go camping, I decided to show off my new j-turn skills on the road outside my friends house. So reverse was engaged, I shot up the road backwards, applied some lock and it felt slow motion as the car gripped and it just rolled over onto its roof.

Of course, as we were going camping, the car was loaded up with beer, which was now spraying all the interior and me.

We quickly pushed it back on its wheels, kicked the windscreen out and hid it in my mums garage.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

60 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Spumfry said:

But the main question is did you get a sympathy shag out of it?
PMSL.



anonymous-user

Original Poster:

60 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Hackney said:
Why did you go all the way to Finland to watch rally videos?
PMSL.

It really does read like that.

Nice spot smile

Theophany

1,069 posts

136 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
buckline said:
It still sticks with me as one of the most stupid things I've ever done behind the wheel.
One of? There's more?? eek

Calza

2,042 posts

121 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Adz The Rat said:
When I was 19 I had a MK1 Golf with full GTI styling and interior, sadly it was a wheezy 1.3 lump under the bonnet.

A group of used to practise handbrake turns and j-turns on the local playing fields, the grass allowing them to slide around easy with no damage.

One weekend when we were meeting up to go camping, I decided to show off my new j-turn skills on the road outside my friends house. So reverse was engaged, I shot up the road backwards, applied some lock and it felt slow motion as the car gripped and it just rolled over onto its roof.

Of course, as we were going camping, the car was loaded up with beer, which was now spraying all the interior and me.

We quickly pushed it back on its wheels, kicked the windscreen out and hid it in my mums garage.
Timbo_S2 said:
Ooooh, 1999. It was snowey, and I'd picked up my brand new A3 1.8T Quattro earlier that month. Full car, roads I knew well, 4 wheel drifts. Wonderful.

Until I found at the bottom of a steep drive, the occupants had gritted their driveway. And carried on onto the road. round the corner I glided, all four wheels spinning. Until they all hooked up and I launched myself at a wall.

New bumper and a brickie for the day required.
Both of these stories just paint the most fantastic mental images as I recreate them. Thank you roflrofl

Alex

9,975 posts

290 months

Friday 29th July 2016
quotequote all
Once, I was driving my next door neighbour's 9 year old son home in my Griff. Thought I would impress him with a bit of opposite lock turning into our road. Got into a bit of a tank slapper, over-corrected and went over the fence onto the cricket pitch. It's still the stuff of legend in our village...