how to tell the wife?
Discussion
Dont ffs take advice off blokes on here about your relationship, they will tell you to man up etc etc, everyone is Gene Hunt on here but in reality, how many dont have to get some approval, it does have a lot of a sexist bias "how can a mere woman tell me what to do, i am man GRRR", but any relationship, regardless of gender is a partnership with shared resources, without knowing the specifics and how your relationship works, we cant really advise, only you know if its a good idea.
Going and just buying it is a bit stupid, some relationships work like that, usually where there is plenty of money, it resources are pooled and finite, then it pays to discuss and negotiate. Some women may see buying old and wonky cars as an endearing bit of fun "Oh he is in the garage playing with his old heap" and others may see it as a massive issue.
I bought a ca against my wifes wishes a few years back, caused a load of agro, car went tits up as well just to compound the situation, you need to use, charm, guile and bribery to get what you want, dont lose her trust over some old car, as next time her heels will be even further dug in.
I fully admit i am a pain in the arse with cars, that is who she married so will have to get used to it to a certain extent, all the bills and everything are paid, so I will be getting something half decent soon.
Going and just buying it is a bit stupid, some relationships work like that, usually where there is plenty of money, it resources are pooled and finite, then it pays to discuss and negotiate. Some women may see buying old and wonky cars as an endearing bit of fun "Oh he is in the garage playing with his old heap" and others may see it as a massive issue.
I bought a ca against my wifes wishes a few years back, caused a load of agro, car went tits up as well just to compound the situation, you need to use, charm, guile and bribery to get what you want, dont lose her trust over some old car, as next time her heels will be even further dug in.
I fully admit i am a pain in the arse with cars, that is who she married so will have to get used to it to a certain extent, all the bills and everything are paid, so I will be getting something half decent soon.
Some cars have been discussed and bought others I’ve just lusted after and then just went and bought. Some have been well received others less so. There haven’t been arguments about any of it though as she knows that’s what I do in the same way if she goes and blows an equivalent amount on a bag or a special pair of shoes or a piece of jewellery I dont say anything - it’s this latter point you need to be prepared for and accept (especially based on the value)
J4CKO said:
Dont ffs take advice off blokes on here about your relationship, they will tell you to man up etc etc, everyone is Gene Hunt on here but in reality, how many dont have to get some approval, it does have a lot of a sexist bias "how can a mere woman tell me what to do, i am man GRRR", but any relationship, regardless of gender is a partnership with shared resources, without knowing the specifics and how your relationship works, we cant really advise, only you know if its a good idea.
Going and just buying it is a bit stupid, some relationships work like that, usually where there is plenty of money, it resources are pooled and finite, then it pays to discuss and negotiate. Some women may see buying old and wonky cars as an endearing bit of fun "Oh he is in the garage playing with his old heap" and others may see it as a massive issue.
I bought a ca against my wifes wishes a few years back, caused a load of agro, car went tits up as well just to compound the situation, you need to use, charm, guile and bribery to get what you want, dont lose her trust over some old car, as next time her heels will be even further dug in.
I fully admit i am a pain in the arse with cars, that is who she married so will have to get used to it to a certain extent, all the bills and everything are paid, so I will be getting something half decent soon.
This ... it's all about negotiation and convincing, whilst i've always bought the cars I wanted to buy for better or worse - I've never just turned up with them without talking to her about it before. She soon stopped listening to the 'Savings account on wheels' argument, but I think at this point she's just come to accept that buying stupid cars is part of me and when I get obsessed with the idea of buying a car it's incredibly difficult if not impossible to get me out of that mindset ... I've lost some money and i've made some over the years (not why I buy any car but it's the only tangible way to justify it to a non-car person).... Going and just buying it is a bit stupid, some relationships work like that, usually where there is plenty of money, it resources are pooled and finite, then it pays to discuss and negotiate. Some women may see buying old and wonky cars as an endearing bit of fun "Oh he is in the garage playing with his old heap" and others may see it as a massive issue.
I bought a ca against my wifes wishes a few years back, caused a load of agro, car went tits up as well just to compound the situation, you need to use, charm, guile and bribery to get what you want, dont lose her trust over some old car, as next time her heels will be even further dug in.
I fully admit i am a pain in the arse with cars, that is who she married so will have to get used to it to a certain extent, all the bills and everything are paid, so I will be getting something half decent soon.
I'd just put some more hours in on convincing her personally.
jkh112 said:
Does she need your permission to buy a handbag ?
Unless she's buying Hermes and you are buying a shed, I'd suggest that these are hardly comparable...FWIW, I'd never drop more than a couple of grand without discussing the matter first. It's normally a formality but it seems only courteous, if nothing else.
haha some great replies on here, and yeah its more of a case of things are bit tight these days so wasting some savings on an old car seems very stupid to her at this time. partly she is right it depends if the car is in good order and if a sensible price is agreed because i wont be paying his asking price anyway as i went to look at it once and it seem a little over valued for condition.
oh she had more handbags in years we been married then cars all respect i still on my first car what a great runner its been to me i think problem is i looking at cars older then my current car lol she cant see the logic she rather me buy a big ugly suv on a finance and prob end up more broke
If by your own admission it’s overvalued I’d lean towards ‘not buy’ anyway, regardless of how she feels- it sounds like it would make a financial dent that isn’t needed at this time.
Without any more details I can only echo above, a relationship should be built on mutual trust and pooled assets - going behind someone’s back to buy anything when they expressly don’t want you to hurts on principle just as much as it does financially, if not more so.
If we’re talking a showroom mint 205 gti for £800 it’s a different story of course.
Without any more details I can only echo above, a relationship should be built on mutual trust and pooled assets - going behind someone’s back to buy anything when they expressly don’t want you to hurts on principle just as much as it does financially, if not more so.
If we’re talking a showroom mint 205 gti for £800 it’s a different story of course.
jamesters said:
haha some great replies on here, and yeah its more of a case of things are bit tight these days so wasting some savings on an old car seems very stupid to her at this time. partly she is right it depends if the car is in good order and if a sensible price is agreed because i wont be paying his asking price anyway as i went to look at it once and it seem a little over valued for condition.
Old cars generally will go tits up, its the law, well mine do anyway have spent a grand or so a shonky old TT inthe last six months to keep it going, would be scrap if I couldn't do the work.
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff