Wednesday 20th November 2013

Mercedes S-Class? First class! PH Blog

The ultimate accessory for your new S-Class? Someone to drive it for you!

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Confessions Of A Chauffeur. Sounds like something rather more racy than the reality for the long suffering but thoroughly decent chap Barry Mercedes supplied us with an S400 Hybrid for the last couple of days. In an amusing twist on the conventional press loan and in response to the trends in this sector of the market Mercedes reckoned a couple of days being driven and a couple driving yourself is the best way to assess the new Spitzenklasse.

S-Class looks on as Dan gets his feet muddy

Who's to argue, even if Confessions Of A Chauffeur actually involved a hunt around the less salubrious used car lots in the Hemel Hempstead area in search of a Shed-price shopping trolley for Mrs T? And celebration of a first birthday for Trent junior and subsequent trip to soft play in Milton Keynes.

Which probably isn't the kind of glamorous high net worth 'lifestyle' Mercedes marketing wonks have in mind for the new S-Class. But one it fits into rather nicely as it turns out.

Now, we know the new S-Class could - technically - drive itself. But petty matters of legislation and fear of machines taking over mean Barry isn't out of a job yet. Turning up keen as mustard with an immaculate S-Class complete with mood lighting, pillows and Mercedes' active nifty air freshener system he probably wasn't expecting his first driving assignment to be to a muddy field near Bovingdon filled with used cars slowly sinking into the mire and a couple of Polish blokes with fags in the corner of their mouths doing something possibly unspeakable to an old Jag XJ. The Fiesta they dragged out of the clag wasn't quite The One, the old two-tone W114 'stricht acht' in the corner of the field a more appealing prospect even with the moss on the windows.

Sod the Fiesta, THAT's proper Shed motoring

At this stage you're probably (rightly) wondering why I'm not living the PH dream to the letter and spending my own Shed budget on something more appropriate. Like an old S-Class perhaps. I won't bore you but having come within a whisker of sneaking another Clio 172 onto the fleet the lack of doors was rumbled at the last minute and back into the classifieds for a Fiesta I went.

And so to be wafted up the M1 to Northampton for a look at another, the S-Class standing out like a sore thumb and perhaps not providing me with the strongest bargaining chip. Bless him, the chap selling the Ford couldn't quite understand why a scraggy man in a chauffeur driven S-Class would be in the market for his thousand pound snotter but a deal was struck and newly purchased Fiesta followed in the wake of the Merc to soft play.

How to kill your negotiating power in one move

Carpets encrusted with mud, crevasses in silky rouched leather filled with remains of a one-year-old's cheese sandwiches, the S-Class left its first day with the Trents in something of a sorry state. But a politely bemused and artfully diplomatic Barry claimed he'd rather enjoyed an 'unusual' day of chauffeuring.

His assignment for the following day was much more on-message, your undeserving editor requiring dropping off at Heathrow for my trip to the LA show. Being chauffeured on your regular commute is a rather bizarre experience but if the western stretch of the M25 could be made pleasant the S-Class made a good fist of it.

And what of the S-Class itself? I've spent a lot of time in them over the years, though usually in Barry's seat. We'll have to await word from young Matt on what it's like there but from the back the traditional luxurious sobriety of Mercedes of old has been replaced by a more glamorous and overtly stylised atmosphere. Much has been made of the ride in the new car but I have to confess it felt a little more pendulous than I'd expected. But I'm nit-picking. It was a lovely place to spend time and an amusing insight into the mindset of the increasing number of buyers in this market who'd never consider sitting up front.

In-built soft play surely for next S-Class?

We'll see what Matt has to say about that in due course... In the meantime I'm bracing myself for the onslaught of abuse for my failure to live up to the Shed dream by buying a Fiesta. I might be needing Barry back after all, and in an armoured version this time.

 

Dan

[rohrl]

Hi Dan I don't know if I'm missing a running joke here or something but the S in S-Class stands for Sonder, meaning special. Spitzen means to prick up (your ears) or to pucker up (lips).