Meet 'The Chav' (EP3) and Maiden Euro-trip

[kiethton]

• Warning - long post

'The Chav' is the name affectionately given to the EP3 i purchased a few months ago, owing mainly to their image and the modifications on this one specifically.

Here it stands as i got it:



2004 (54) plate
103k miles
Full honda history (one due)
Rare leather interior
HPI clear and near perfect cosmetically (all gaps good and just stone chips)

Mods:

lowered on springs - front
cheap coilovers - rear (have all original suspension F&R)
B pipe
HID headlight upgrade

PH stickers were added shortly after purchase:





So, why did i get an EP3?

Between my girlfriend and I we were planning a holiday to Croatia, by road, combined with a city break or 2. I refused to take her 60hp fiesta owing to the tedium and after selling my 335i last year to work towards a house deposit and my 924s being a no-go for the trip owing to the number of jobs that need doing and the mileage restriction (in addition to a winter restoration) a new car was needed. I originally thought of everything from a Volvo V70 to a Saab 9-3 Vert but settled on the EP3 owing to the practicality and driving pleasure it gives over most other options at the price point (coupled to cheap insurance - £640 for me at 23! with accidents, points and mod's declared). However all wasn't rosey....in addition to the due service all wasn't well with the Chav, the clutch was shot in the normal non-slipping EP3 way so was changed and the service done at Honda (cheaper than indie's).

This brings us to the main section of the post....

The outline route was planned over a number of weeks at work:

https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=d&source=s_d&...

Other practicalities of the trip were looked into further - Vignette's for Austria & Slovenia (thanks to PH'ers for that one!). The plan was to stick to 80ish MPH following advice and for fuel preservation reasons (trip was done for <£600pp for travel and all accommodation)

Cost breakdown:

Eurotunnel - £110 return
Hotels Stuttgart (Mercure 1 night) - £44
Apartment Bol (3* - 12 nights) - £282
Hotel Vienna (Ibis - 2 nights) - £112
Petrol - TBC
Tolls - TBC

It came to the morning of leaving and we were up bright and early for the 5:50am euro-tunnel, being the Friday before LeMans there was some exotica spotted on the M20 but owing to the day and time, not too much in comparison to last year when I went down mid-morning on Thurday.



Our first overnight stop was scheduled for Stuttgart, the goal was to get there for early afternoon so I could take a look around the Porsche museum, however traffic around Stuttgart conspired against us, adding 1.5 hours with 20 miles to go....this considered we checked into our hotel, freshened up and drove into the city for dinner..... With my poor German I somehow ended up with what looked like beef/pork tripe in soup (I thought it was chunks of proper meat with potato salad )

Day 2 started well, up early and out of the hotel by 6am, however on our way to the castle the rain came in buckets and I was shortly regretting the idea to sort the near worn tyres after the summer (2.2mm when leaving) as we aquaplaned down the autobahn, slowing to 50mph owing to the conditions for about 60 miles. Shortly after this and 2 hours later we arrived at the castle, or at least the signs said we had but it was nowhere to be seen (only the konigschlosse, hotels and visitor centres in view), totally obscured by cloud cover. A few pictures in the rain later and we were on our way by 10:15.





The scenery through the alps was amazing and shortly before the Austrian border we stopped to buy the Vignettes for the day and the return leg, stopping off the motorway to find supermarkets for breakfast/lunch and petrol to save cash (just like england motorway service station petrol is extortionate, 25 cents a litre more give or take although more reasonable/comparable in Croatia itself.






Having made great time across the German A roads from the castle, through the alpine tunnels and after cutting through Slovenian A roads to Croatia we decided to stop in Zadar for dinner at about 17:30, feeling a little peckish, whilst knowing the 11pm deadline for our check-in in Bol and thinking we had plenty of time. Needless to say we arrived in Split at 21:10, as the ferry pulled out of the harbour to Supertar. What had been an hourly service had declined to the extent of next sailing being at mid-night, 1 hour after our agency reception closed....

Thankfully after a hurried phone call they agreed to stay open for us until we finally arrived at 01:20, after hooning across the islands deserted roads, covering the 35km in 25 minutes. Lesson learned though, eat when you arrive!!!!

Needless to say we had a great few weeks on the island, taking a foot trip to Split and driving up to the Krka Lake National Park. On the island the car was in it's element, content when cruising around the twisty island roads and rewarding when attacking corners/overtaking, even my girlfriend enjoyed throwing it around!







The primary concern before we left was ground clearance, with the lowered suspension and B pipe there was a mere 3" at a push, less when heavy!! Thankfully, barring Belgian motorway dips causing high speed scraping, the roads for the duration were perfect, Croatia especially, putting ours to shame. This was until we had cause to use the on-street parking in split (you have to bump up a chunky kerb, leaving the sills and exhaust scraping the ground and the front wheels struggling for traction around the tipping point when moving on/off). We also explored some lesser used occasionally potholed tarmac tracks when we went exploring in search of quieter bays...

One morning we found a road on the map, only about 20k away, that with the lie of the coastline looked to hide a nice beach/bay. All was well at first, with a nice freshly laid and deserted road, however this finished half way down the side of a hill leaving a dirt track:



Examining the gravel road from the top it didn't look too bad, fairly compact and level, so we headed down...except it got progressively worse, turning to tight hairpins and becoming less smooth as we headed down the side, at its worst decending at a c.10% gradient with no barriers. Despite a bit of grounding we were too far to stop (and had nowhere to turn) so we pressed on and were handsomely rewarded, by both the near deserted sun-trap beach and the surprise hanging to the passenger window on our return!





Unfortunately our holiday on the island came to an end and now sporting decent tan's we headed up to Vienna for a mini 2 night city break (to break up the journey, why not if your passing?) and yesterday back to the UK. Barring the heat, and me spilling a good 2l of beer all over the staircase and over the walls as we left Croatia (strap on the case snapped) it was un-eventful.

The Chav did us proud, clocking up 3,711 miles for the whole trip and averaging 38mpg on the motorway sections and 32mpg hooning around the island. It's just in need of a thorough valet now! and AC gas as it isn't as cool as it could have been!

Edited by kiethton on Wednesday 14th August 13:22

[kiethton]

Usget said:

Evoluzione said:

A good read, only spoiled by the non-explanation of what the heck a 'Vignette' is.
I Googled it, but still non the wiser as to what you acquired.....







vignettes 3rd person singular present, plural of vi·gnette
Noun
A brief evocative description, account, or episode.
Verb
Portray (someone) in the style of a vignette.

vi·gnette (vn-yt)
n.
1. A decorative design placed at the beginning or end of a book or chapter of a book or along the border of a page.
2. An unbordered picture, often a portrait, that shades off into the surrounding color at the edges.
3.
a. A short, usually descriptive literary sketch.
b. A short scene or incident, as from a movie.
tr.v. vi·gnet·ted, vi·gnet·ting, vi·gnettes
1. To soften the edges of (a picture) in vignette style.
2. To describe in a brief way.

It's like a motorway tax you have to pay in certain countries, instead of having toll roads. You have to stick a sticker in your windscreen like a tax disc. Switzerland has the same system (which seems fairly sensible to me).

Car and write-up are good OP, but was it previously owned by a serious misogynist?! Or someone just fundamentally opposed to prostitution?

Thanks all, we had an amazing time and based on our experiences my parents now look to be heading to the same place in a month or two's time and we are thinking of going back next year! (although possibly further to Dubrovnik/to Hvar for a week instead).

Yep, as said above the Vignettes are the equivalent of thier tolls, although fraustrating that the Austrian one either comes in 10 day or 1 month denominations, no 2 week option!

On the plate i have no idea, but is due to be removed shortly (i share the same opinions as Chris Harris on them TBH), the owner has retianed it, although he text me whilt i was away to say that the new paperwork is back with him for the plate to go onto his car but I'm yet to get the updated tax disc/V5 so i'm waiting for them to arrive before swapping over.

[kiethton]

r1ch said:

Nice write up, sounds like the chav served you well! I plan on doing a very similar trip in an EP3 either late this year or early 2014.

Thanks, barring the AC issue it was perfect and far more fun than my dad's E90 318d, which we origionally planned to take, would have been (if harsher on the wallet, lacking cruise control and unable to blitz autobahns as fast - noise/cruise MPG/high RPM)

If you need any help with your route/want a sounding board/anything for your trip happy to help as best as I can

[kiethton]

5potTurbo said:

It's what the road tax IS called in some countries, like where I live, not only for motorway use.

OP: Do you really "hate wes" that much you drive around announcing it to the world?

Hahaha every profession needs customers.....

In all seriousness it's the previous owners' and is in the process of being transferred off.

Just checked ask MID and it's now showing on a TT but I'm yet to receive my paperwork through so don't know what plate it'll go back onto, will be off ASAP though!

[kiethton]

Well the family, 4 sans me, were until this evening struggling for somewhere to go this summer, wanting to find anywhere to go for the last 2 weeks of August for their £2.5k budget.

They are now away for the 2 weeks doing a similar trip, to the same final desirantion. However they are going straight there with one night stop off's in Munich Messe in each leg and no detours. Even at peak, for the 4, the total including accommodation, ferry but not petrol stands at £1,300. Not bad for a 2 week peak time trip!!!

Their chariot of choice, a 2008 BMW 318d (our original thought prior to buying the chav) so petrol costs should be suitably reduced too!!!

It's catching on this....can't blame them though!!!

More gratuitous pic's attached below:

[kiethton]

simonre7 said:

Nice car and good write up.

I had the pleasure of convoying with you up towards calais although you had the expensive train option and I was on the peasant boat! I was in a black MX5 with a bag on the boot.

Oh I wondered if you were on here as we caught up, do have to admit that we were rather jealous of your lack of roof! Go anywhere nice?

[kiethton]

simonre7 said:

kiethton said:

Oh I wondered if you were on here as we caught up, do have to admit that we were rather jealous of your lack of roof! Go anywhere nice?

Haha roof down is good fun although it gets bit blowy on the motorways. We went on a massive tour france, germany, austria, italy, switerland, belgium & The Netherlands.

Those pictures you posted above look amazing. i think that may be our next road trip destination.

Sounds like a good trip, my girlfriend prefers the beaches though!

It's well worth the trip, especially before it becomes more commercialised/popular (HVAR, just across the channel already is to an extent)

[kiethton]

Just to update the thread I sold the EP3 last month, for as much as change as anything else (plus the fact it's likely I'll have to start vising sites soon and needed something more presentable)

Needless to say it will be missed but stepping into its place is:






E39 54Oi, picked up from BCA, on top of that next years trip is already in the pipeline!

https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?saddr=London+SE12+9...

The new car, nicknamed 'Meaty' by my girlfriend should be far more capable for the autobahn slogs, although far worse on fuel....

After I've got it cleaned up a bit I'll post up a few more pictures and start a dedicated thread

Roll on the summer!

[kiethton]

shakotan said:

kiethton said:

Well the family, 4 sans me, were until this evening struggling for somewhere to go this summer, wanting to find anywhere to go for the last 2 weeks of August for their £2.5k budget.

They are now away for the 2 weeks doing a similar trip, to the same final desirantion. However they are going straight there with one night stop off's in Munich Messe in each leg and no detours. Even at peak, for the 4, the total including accommodation, ferry but not petrol stands at £1,300. Not bad for a 2 week peak time trip!!!

Their chariot of choice, a 2008 BMW 318d (our original thought prior to buying the chav) so petrol costs should be suitably reduced too!!!

It's catching on this....can't blame them though!!!

More gratuitous pic's attached below:

Whereabouts in Croatia is this? Looks great.

The top one is at the Krka lakes national Park, the last 4 are all on the island of Brac (40 min ferry from Split)

Picture 2 - Quiet bay near the town of Milna (come into the town and turn left at the carpark and keep going straight)

Picture 3 - Bol Town, looking west from the middle (restaurants behind me)

Picture 4 - Looking over Bol and Zlatni Rat beach from Vidova Gora (the highest point of the island)

Picture 5 - Zlatni Rat beach

Its a great island and a lot less commercial than Hvar which is just across the channel (pic 4), cheap too - meal for 2 including beer and starter was normally about 200 Kuna (£22) and accommodation (studio apartment) in late June/early July next year is working out to be about £150 a week total.

[kiethton]

Max M4X WW said:

Love the 540i, I got rid of mine for a change and bought an MX-5.

If you want to make it louder, I have a rear exhaust section which has had one of the boxes removed (the sticking out one) but you could always just use it for the factory tip if you want a straight through pipe. I tried both, and should have stuck with the single silencer really as it was a bit loud combined with the auto box. Three vids here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5qCEHHgoxA

I can't see the video as I've got no reception on the mobile at work but would be very, very interested. Where are you located & how much were you after (feel free to PM me )

[kiethton]

mybrainhurts said:

kiethton said:

The top one is at the Krka lakes national Park, the last 4 are all on the island of Brac (40 min ferry from Split)

Picture 2 - Quiet bay near the town of Milna (come into the town and turn left at the carpark and keep going straight)

Picture 3 - Bol Town, looking west from the middle (restaurants behind me)

Picture 4 - Looking over Bol and Zlatni Rat beach from Vidova Gora (the highest point of the island)

Picture 5 - Zlatni Rat beach

Its a great island and a lot less commercial than Hvar which is just across the channel (pic 4), cheap too - meal for 2 including beer and starter was normally about 200 Kuna (£22) and accommodation (studio apartment) in late June/early July next year is working out to be about £150 a week total.

You're taking me back now. Did those journeys lots of times in the 60s when it was still Yugoslavia.

Pulled over in front of some locals near those waterfalls and proceeded to show them how we Brits used our magic Finilec(?) foam to seal a punctured XJ6 tyre.

It was a matter of regret that the hole was too big and the foam couldn't cope. It shot out of the hole like a foam extinguisher and Johnny foreigner thought this nutcase Brit was trying to seal it with shaving foam.

Oh, how they laughed.

The buggers....

hahahaha thats classic! I bet its changed a lot since then though - how was it then? - quiet? Such a pretty country though, shame it was off limits for quite a while although the new EU membership will only cause more tourism

[kiethton]

Borghetto said:

Enjoyed your write up - letting your girlfriend throw your car about? What are you man or mouse.

Thanks

She's a bit of a petrol head herself, always wants to come along to the sunday services/SE gatherings so all good, she's not a bad driver either (despite crashing my 540i into a concrete post on Monday....) and always wants to share the driving on a trip, always a good excuse for extra beers!

Despite previous plans we're not back next year but likely next, not because of the drive but because I've put together 2 and a bit weeks in Thailand for £620pp B&B inc flights so can't complain there!