So how easy is it to hydrolock a BMW?

[Eddieslofart]

Sam993 said:

I thought this thread will ruffle some feathers but I didn't realise how dense the BMW lot on here is. Starting from being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure through being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure ending on being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure. I showed this thread to my chair and it actually got the gist of it. I thought the IQ on here is going to be fairly low but I never thought it will be this fking bad. The other option is that my chair is smart, which is obviously not true.

You’ll have to forgive us Sam, it’s not often a complete and utter crunt appears in here.

So welcome. Maybe your mumma will lend you the money to pay off your cc bill ?

I could go into the science and intake locations of Hydrolocking, but you don’t really have the intelligence to understand. Do you drive a Nissan now perchance ? Universal Credit would cover the payments on one quite easily i suspect ?

[to3m]

What a strange thread.

[Sam993]

Eddieslofart said:

Sam993 said:

I thought this thread will ruffle some feathers but I didn't realise how dense the BMW lot on here is. Starting from being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure through being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure ending on being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure. I showed this thread to my chair and it actually got the gist of it. I thought the IQ on here is going to be fairly low but I never thought it will be this fking bad. The other option is that my chair is smart, which is obviously not true.

You’ll have to forgive us Sam, it’s not often a complete and utter crunt appears in here.

So welcome. Maybe your mumma will lend you the money to pay off your cc bill ?

I could go into the science and intake locations of Hydrolocking, but you don’t really have the intelligence to understand. Do you drive a Nissan now perchance ? Universal Credit would cover the payments on one quite easily i suspect ?

YES, I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR CRAYONS.

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Which of you tits is going to be the first to admit that you lack basic reading comprehension skills. I need volunteers please. I don't care which M, N or another piece of st engine hides under your bonnet. I just want you to admit that you seriously lack in the IQ department and you make up for it by writing on here like you drive your cars.

[Eddieslofart]

Much LOL ! She never stumped up for your cc bill Sam, did she? You poor boy.

[Sam993]

Eddieslofart said:

Much LOL ! She never stumped up for your cc bill Sam, did she? You poor boy.

Hi Eddies lo fart, judging by the quality of your posts and your amazingly accurate username, I take you're the Einstein of the BMW General subforum.

[to3m]

Well, I always like to be first, so let me be the first to admit that I lack basic reading comprehension skills. I was wondering why I found this thread so incomprehensible, and that must be why!

I seriously lack in the IQ department, and make up for it by writing on here like I drive my car: always using my indicators, so it's obvious to observant road users what I'm doing.

Edited by to3m on Saturday 11th August 00:59

[gooner1]

to3m said:

Well, I always like to be first, so let me be the first to admit that I lack basic reading comprehension skills. I was wondering why I found this thread so incomprehensible, and that must be why!

I seriously lack in the IQ department, and make up for it by writing on here like I drive my car: always using my indicators, so it's obvious to observant road users what I'm doing.

Edited by to3m on Saturday 11th August 00:59

Ah the old two line paragraph ploy.
Guaranteed to wind the Op up.

Only wish I'd thought of it first to be honest,but I didn't.
Therefore I shall have to console myself to being but a witness to Sam's discomfort.

[Mike335i]

Sam993 said:

YES, I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR CRAYONS.

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Which of you tits is going to be the first to admit that you lack basic reading comprehension skills. I need volunteers please. I don't care which M, N or another piece of st engine hides under your bonnet. I just want you to admit that you seriously lack in the IQ department and you make up for it by writing on here like you drive your cars.

I know you are only here to wind us up, I know we all should know better than to keep this up, but you getting worked up is comedy gold and rather than be coherent, you just start shouting insults which are just like an angry child.

But despite all that, I'm going to have to say it, you are wrong. You have been wrong throughout. There is a difference between driving through floods and driving through rain. But let's not let that get in the way of your anger.

BMW's are perfect, I'm not that keen on any 4 cylinder diesel ones to be honest, but come on, at least get the criticism right!

[Zod]

Sam993 said:

I thought this thread will ruffle some feathers but I didn't realise how dense the BMW lot on here is. Starting from being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure through being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure ending on being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure. I showed this thread to my chair and it actually got the gist of it. I thought the IQ on here is going to be fairly low but I never thought it will be this fking bad. The other option is that my chair is smart, which is obviously not true.

You really are heavily emotionally invested in this, aren’t you?

[gooner1]

"I'm butthurted I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair


With apologies to Neil Diamond.

[Sam993]

MORNING!

Mike335i said:

You have been wrong throughout. There is a difference between driving through floods and driving through rain.

That's why I said that your reading comprehension is SHOCKING.

Sam993 said:

(...) Starting from being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure through being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure ending on being unable to comprehend basic sentence structure(...)

Here's why. I was never talking about "rain" I was talking about heavy, torrential kind of rain that turned the roads into freaking rivers within less than a minute of kicking off*

Sam993 said:

I was heading down North Circular when heavens opened

Sam993 said:

Simple,
(...)
3) This BMW went through heavy (and I mean heavy) rain and it died (...) and fact that it was pissing down, (...) It might been hit by spray from another car for example.

And this picture

Sam993 said:

was used precisely to demonstrate the fact what the conditions were like roughly, with traffic causing mahoosive amounts of spray (they were a bit worse than the pic actually, I couldn't see anything through the windows at least a couple of times)

Mike335i said:

BMW's are perfect

I sincerely hope you're pulling me leg because if you're not then my god there is no hope for this world.



* rain that didn't cause any issues to any other car other than that ultimate "stopped broken down in the middle lane whilst others were able to carry on" driving maschyne. They iz soah perfekt! But they can't handle water.

[Mike335i]

Truth be told, I meant to say BMW's aren't perfect so I will give you that one, but torrential rain is still rain.

Just give in.

[Sam993]

Mike335i said:

Truth be told, I meant to say BMW's aren't perfect so I will give you that one, but torrential rain is still rain.

Just give in.

I will never give in to morons who struggle with basic logic even when it's laid out in front of them. I know it's a worldwide trend because morons are easy to control and as long as they have access to facebook, x-factor, cheap credit and they can rent used BMW's they are content - but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

[PDP76]

Mr Whippy said:

Sam993 said:

Simple,
1) BMW's have low intakes, it's a fact. They were designed this way so that the engine is able to suck cold dense air from above the ground, because this increases performance and that's what BMW owners want beyond everything else (like for example being able to drive through heavy rain without having to write off their car)
2) Many BMW's died while driving through puddles that didn't phase other cars, that's a fact.
3) This BMW went through heavy (and I mean heavy) rain and it died, unlike other cars around it. Based on facts 1 and 2 and fact that it was pissing down, the chances of it dying because of hydrolocking are pretty big. It might been hit by spray from another car for example.

Obviously this thread is tongue in cheek (apart from facts 1 and 2) so please don't get upset everybody. But also please don't come here saying that BMW's don't hydrolock easily.

Intakes are usually at top of front air dam pointing backwards behind kidney grilles.

Where are they on 320d?

Same place but as I mentioned earlier, the turbo and pipework sits really low. Waters a bh, it’ll find any weak point to get in.
Sitting the turbo and pipework that low is the weakness.

[Mr Whippy]

Thing is most of intake is often under positive pressure.
The slight chance of big negative pressure to suck in via leaks wouldn’t be enough to hydro lock any way.

If such leaks existed generally the car would likely be throwing faults or running poorly.


Hmmmm

[James_B]

Sam993 said:

Struggling to read with understanding?

Oh I see a typical PHer.

That's how these threads usually end up on here. Slam, da duh duh, da duh duh, let the fanboys be fanboys.

Heavy rain is never going to do it. Even the heaviest rain only fills a couple of,percent of the air, and any car will just pass that on through. You need to put the air intake under water to lock a cylinder.

[SlimJim16v]

I think the only way to get it through his thick skull, is to demonstrate the difference to him.

First spray him with a hose, then hold his head underwater.

[NiceCupOfTea]

I wonder if the OP would speak to a bunch of car enthusiasts at a meet the same way that he is holding forth here?

My own thoughts on the subject are that it's probably quite likely that BMW do a bit of testing on their cars before they go on sale - hot weather, cold weather, wet weather, etc.

Seem to remember that Peugeot diesels had a really low intake, a friend of mine managed to kill an old 206 (I think) in a ford many years ago.

[James_B]

Sam993 said:

How does it feel living in denial? I bet you're also going to claim that the st engine in your car doesn't suffer from uncontrolled soot build up caused by the sloppy design by the ultimate driving engineers?

I can happily say that about the engine in my car, yes. It’s something of a masterpiece, the sort of engine that we won’t see for much longer, I think.

I wonder how the engine in your car compares. Admittedly, 100bhp per litre in a normally aspirated engine is not groundbreaking nowadays, but when the engine’s over five litres it’s enough.

[4x4Tyke]

Sam993 said:

I was heading down North Circular when heavens opened and about 30 secs later I drove past a BMW 3 series stuck in the middle lane with their hazards on. Presumably it did what every performance 320d with M performance pack does when it sees rain, it hydrolocked. What a great design indeed! I'm glad I never experienced serious rain when I owned the M135i although that might have been a great way to get my money back in full thanks to the magic of GAP insurance

Unlikely to be hydrolocked, you need to fill the cylinder with enough water so that it will not compress.

My money would be water in the electronics.