Ad copy - too humourous?

[Anatol]

I've put an ad together for print today, and I can't decide if it's just right, or just over the line and too tongue in cheek to give a professional impression.

Feedback on this issue gratefully received...

http://bit.ly/4rer0S

Thanks in advance,

Tol

ETA - I think I've misspelt humorous in the thread title... doh.

Edited by Anatol on Saturday 17th October 16:46

[Anatol]

The initial message was deleted from this topic on 20 October 2009 at 12:51

[TheEnd]

At first glance, it is a little confusing, but it does draw you in, so i think that is fairly successful on the whole

[CyprusCraig]

maybe something like this could be more appropiate for the top imagine as it still kind of relatice to your company. at first i thought you where a tree specialist company.

Also IMO leave out the zombie bit.

Good advert tho, interesting little bit out the box. good

Edited by CyprusCraig on Saturday 17th October 17:29

[grumbledoak]

If I was looking for bodywork I'd probably skip that- at first glance it looks like an advert for a tree surgeon! I'd change the layout so that top and left (where your eyes begin) is at least car related.

Edited by grumbledoak on Saturday 17th October 17:38

[HereBeMonsters]

The Zombie bit is a bit weak, but otherwise, quite good.

[JustinP1]

Anatol said:

I've put an ad together for print today, and I can't decide if it's just right, or just over the line and too tongue in cheek to give a professional impression.

Feedback on this issue gratefully received...

http://bit.ly/4rer0S

Thanks in advance,

Tol

ETA - I think I've misspelt humorous in the thread title... doh.

Edited by Anatol on Saturday 17th October 16:46

It is a nice concept however you will lose a lot of people in the metaphor as it is a bit abstract.

You also need to remember that an average viewer may just glance over your ad in a split second. If the concept does not match what they were looking for they will simply move on.

You could get the same effect - but make it a lot more powerful by being more direct.

By that I mean what about a photo of a car with one door or panel obviously a different colour?

[Anatol]

That's a different ad in the campaign!

http://bit.ly/13xzRv

Tol

[grumbledoak]

Anatol said:

http://bit.ly/13xzRv

Much better! First word I read is your name, and the pictures are of cars! I'd also consider having your logo top right in all the adverts to give them some consistency- it's a bit lost down there on the second photo.

[jeff m]

grumbledoak said:

If I was looking for bodywork I'd probably skip that- at first glance it looks like an advert for a tree surgeon! I'd change the layout so that top and left (where your eyes begin) is at least car related.

Edited by grumbledoak on Saturday 17th October 17:38

Tend to agree.
Your target is those with minor damage

If I were doing this from scratch (no pun intended) I would open with
"You should have got a bra"
Picture of two cars one with a bra one without and the owners looking at the stone chips.

Followed up by what you do.....

ETA Ah, I didn't see the update....much much better.

Edited by jeff m on Saturday 17th October 18:21

[Anatol]

grumbledoak said:

Much better! First word I read is your name, and the pictures are of cars! I'd also consider having your logo top right in all the adverts to give them some consistency- it's a bit lost down there on the second photo.

Preferable?

http://bit.ly/4b3xiV

Tol

[grumbledoak]

Anatol said:

http://bit.ly/4b3xiV

I'd say so. Branding does work, though possibly less than the advertising execs claim. But, keeping your logo consistently in that size and position across all the adverts certainly looks more professional.

ETA- Actually, looking back at all of the candidates, I think the right hand side and bottom 'footer' on the first advert are a good candidate to keep consistent for branding, while switching the left side content for each different advert. Bloody great images of chainsaws are not your friend, however- the cars advert is much more obvious.

Edited by grumbledoak on Saturday 17th October 18:24

[jeff m]

jeff m said:

grumbledoak said:

If I was looking for bodywork I'd probably skip that- at first glance it looks like an advert for a tree surgeon! I'd change the layout so that top and left (where your eyes begin) is at least car related.

Edited by grumbledoak on Saturday 17th October 17:38

Tend to agree.
Your target is those with minor damage

If I were doing this from scratch (no pun intended) I would open with
"You should have got a bra"
Picture of two cars one with a bra one without and the owners looking at the stone chips.

Followed up by what you do.....

Ah, I had't seen the update, much much better.

[Anatol]

grumbledoak said:

If I was looking for bodywork I'd probably skip that- at first glance it looks like an advert for a tree surgeon! I'd change the layout so that top and left (where your eyes begin) is at least car related.

More like this:

http://bit.ly/4EJ6pt

?

Unfortunately that means the logo position is inconsistent across the ads...

Edited by Anatol on Saturday 17th October 18:23

[grumbledoak]

Actually, looking back at all of the candidates, I think the right hand side and bottom 'footer' on the first advert are a good candidate to keep consistent for branding, while switching the left side content for each different advert. Bloody great images of chainsaws are not your friend, however- the cars advert is much more obvious.

[Anatol]

All very useful input.

Thanks everyone.

Tol

[Anatol]

All very useful input.

Thanks everyone.

Tol

ETA I may reserve the chainsaw ad for use in a poster in reception, or other places where readers aren't glancing through lots of ads and take a bit of time. Bus stop poster maybe.

Edited by Anatol on Saturday 17th October 18:28

[grumbledoak]

(Both typing at the same time, clearly; I'll stop editing and just post!)

The chainsaw advert is better with the logo stuff on the left, though there is still a bloody great chainsaw to confuse. The car one would work either way, but I think it looks better with the 'branding stuff' on the right.

I'd decide which edge you want to be branding and just be consistent...

Edited by grumbledoak on Saturday 17th October 21:04

[Simpo Two]

Hi Tol,

You're a bright fellow and as a result I think you're trying to be too clever. Instead, think what your target market wants. They don't want to read an enigmatic allegory or try to figure out what the chainsaw is for - in these internet days everyone has the attention span of a fruit fly.

In other words, in 5 seconds, tell them why they should ring you and not some other geezer. They will either hit 'Contact' or 'Back' (to Google)

[Anatol]

The ads are for newspaper rather than web content, but the insight is still welcome, and useful.

Thanks...

Tol