Following on from the maternity leave thread

[groucho]

On TV this morning, the court of human rights are talking about paternity leave and it look like the onus of paying for this is going to fall on the employer. How the fk can will small businesses operate with all the extra expense?

I'd just employ transsexuals.

[DSM2]

Don't you realise that it is vital to continue to encourage population growth, probably the single biggest threat to the environment and the planet, in order to maintain a pretence of crisis, thereby justifying the existence of our decrepit governments around the world?

Edited by DSM2 on Tuesday 20th October 08:16

[pmanson]

My wife gave birth to our first child on Sunday 11th October having been in hospital since the previous Wednesday. I came back to work on Tuesday 13th October.

In total I took 4 days annual leave as she wanted me to be with her while she was in hosptial (that and I was knackered from getting home at 3am etc).

I'm not sure what I would do if I was at home tbh, Amy is breastfeeding so I can't do feeds (at the moment) so I try to do other jobs like tidying up/helping with dinner etc.

My sleep patterns are fecked but that will improve i'm sure, the plan is for me to take a longer Christmas break and enjoy some time together as a family then.

[parakitaMol.]

groucho said:

I'd just employ transsexuals.

Dress down Fridays will be a scream!

[AndrewW-G]

IMHO the problems seem to stem from a government who rather that incentivise businesses who take a positive moral stance, insist on punishing businesses for any and all transgressions.

Like many other small business owners, whilst I should be able to look at CV's and pick the best candidate based on their suitability for the job, I'm now looking at them and asking who is likely to give me the least grief and disruption. That my businesses are all in male dominated sectors makes this a little easier

An idea for Cameron would be to introduce tax breaks not on for married couples, but also for businesses that actively support the family life of their employees e.g. tax breaks on funding infrastructure costs to allow more people to work from home, grants to help with the additional costs of employing two people who job share etc etc etc

[The Hypno-Toad]

fesuvious said:

We are a small business, we pay the maximum we can afford to our staff in salaries. This being because good staff are worth retaining. If I then had to fund someone's maternity leave, well, that money will have to be found......It wont be coming from company profits.........

Or, to put it another way, read whats written above; I predict many women between the ages of 22 and 36 will, unless exceptionally highly qualified seriously struggle to find work.

Ah but you've forgotten the golden rule.

<dons flame suit, prepares to run and hide in a very deep dark hole>
If the boss is sweet on you, you can get away with anything you want.

Now I don't mean prostitution (he quickly adds.) but what I do mean is flirty. The idea is that you tease the boss just enough at the start to think you might sleep with him but after awhile he gets the idea that's its not going to happen. However, it now turns into "Daddy" issues for him and he now wants to protect you like a daughter from the big bad world. He therefore becomes sweet on you.
Think I'm kidding?

a.) "I'm leaving,"
"Don't go,"
"Well they've offered me more money and because I know everything I know you can't afford to give me a raise,"
"Well what we'll do is we'll create a non-job for you, tell the staff you are now a directors assistant as well as head of marketing & are doing twice the workload. Pay you for two jobs but you'll only be doing the one as the director involved works on a site 29 miles away and you go there once a year,"
"Thank you,"
"That's okay. We can't have someone with your lovely brown eyes and firm young brea..... I mean office skills going somewhere else can we? Daddy, I mean the company has to protect its little pumpkin, I mean best workers,"
Two months later.......
"I'm pregnant. Off now on leave. Don't forget to work out my increased benefit on my two jobs!"

Seen that happen at two of my workplaces in exactly the same way, like they were following a script.

b.) The female member of staff who gets paid £26000 a year for....... nothing. Was a PA to one of the directors, worked part-time, took holidays when she wanted,,had the run of the place basically. And no one ever saw her actually do a stroke of work. She just seemed to sit chatting in the bosses office all day surfing on the net. When she left at four o'clock, the boss would sit at his window and give her a little wave as she left. Bless.
Why the other directors of this company didn't say anything I have no idea. Maybe something to do with her long blonde hair, blue eyes and girly giggle I guess.
Same company laid off 54 people this year, imposed pay cuts on the rest of the staff and the sales staff have not had a basic payrise in 6 years. This young lady has just placed her twin children in a public junior school.....

Some women are pretty.
A lot of bosses are between 40-55 and have 'issues' about no longer being able to attract women.
Some bosses of the same age have never had a daughter and have 'daddy issues' (which is more than a little creepy.)
Some women in the work place exploit this.
Some women in the work place get away with a lot more than their male counterparts do.

If that makes me a jealous sexist pig, then oink, oink. I know that there are plenty of women out there who make positive contributions to the companies they work for but I've worked my balls off for every company I've worked for & it does make me a little angry when I see people getting paid more than me for doing half the work and for basically having a nice rack.

[bunyarra]

Not being odd or anything, but I struggle to figure out when employers became so utterly responsible for so many aspects of employees lives?

If I want to work - I do
If I do not want to work, I don't
Having kids ... my choice/problem

When the heck did it become the fault of the employer?

Is my responsibility not limited to working hours and to the staff welfare during those hours? If the govt. wishes to regulate private lives then they should take the responsibility for it and not hive it off onto small business struggling with existing.

<sigh> Perhaps Maggie has something after all <shudder>

[parakitaMol.]

bunyarra said:

When the heck did it become the fault of the employer?

At precisely imbecile past plankton.

That's when.

[CobolMan]

groucho said:

I'd just employ transsexuals.

Would they be eligible for maternity and paternity leave then?