Changing schools mid-year?

Changing schools mid-year?

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911motorsport

Original Poster:

7,251 posts

234 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
quotequote all
911 Junior (9yrs) is not a happy camper frown

Up until now he's enjoyed (tolerated) school with only the odd minor revolt here and there. I'm pretty proud of him and his last report was straight A's and he was presented with the achiever 'Award' for his year. Can't ask more of him than that, and he worked his little socks off for it yes

But since his return to school in September it's suddenly all gone horribly wrong. Despite his hard work and effort he just cannot seem to please his new teacher. He has come home in tears on several occasions now, and has told me of several incidents of this teacher shouting at him and and reprimanding him for ridiculously petty things. Today he kept in at playtime for dropping his pencil sharpener!!!

It is evident that he is quickly withdrawing from wanting to do the whole school thing and some of his behaviour tells me all is not well e.g. I found him crying in bed this morning with all his old stuffed toys around him. It became apparent that he had laid awake for a large part of the night feeling upset. He has given one of his toys the title of 'Anti Mr.****** Defence'

Based on this (and a few other concerns I have with the school) I'm thinking of getting him out of there and into somewhere a little more productive. Does anyone know if this is allowed? do-able?

GekkoRules

397 posts

223 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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fk yeah.

You can do what you want.

Bit extreme though. A word in the teacher / headteachers shell like first though?

Shay HTFC

3,588 posts

190 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Have you spoken to the teacher in question to get an overall view of what is happening and explain to him how your kid is feeling?

Moving school should not be the first port of call. There may be ways to remedy the situation.

Edited by Shay HTFC on Wednesday 4th November 17:18

james_gt3rs

4,816 posts

192 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Moving school could potentially be quite disruptive. Could you write a letter to the teacher (2 sides to the story), explaining that you're not happy.

Mc lovin

5,588 posts

222 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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First port of call would be to approach the school, before such extreme action.

monthefish

20,443 posts

232 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Shay HTFC said:
Have you spoken to the teacher in question to get an overall view of what is happening and explain to him how your kid is feeling?

Moving school should not be the first port of call. There may be ways to remedy the situation.
I would agree with the above, and then onto the head techer, then school board, if you're not getting a satisfatory result.

Make sure your kid knows you won't tolerate this from the teacher (I'm sure you've done this already), and maybe suggest he tries extra hard to keep out of any trouble whilst you sort it out, and try and get him to remember/note down any 'injustices' he spots - should be fairly easy if he really is being picked on by the teacher. The more 'firm' examples you have, the better it will be. Good luck.

Think moving school wouldn't be a sensible option at this stage, assuming Jnr is happy with the rest of it (other pupils, location etc etc)

Edited by monthefish on Wednesday 4th November 17:34

MentalSarcasm

6,083 posts

212 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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I agree that moving schools is a big change but let's not forget that even if you speak to the school about this teacher, your son still has to face him every day for the rest of the school year. And there's no guarantee that the teacher will even take it on board, he might say he'll improve and then not bother. Or swap to the other extreme and stop paying any attention to your son at all, which can also be detrimental to his work.

Have you asked your son if he wants to move schools? Does he get along okay with the other children in his class or is he a bit of a loner?

I'd definitely go and speak to the headmaster and the teacher but at the same time start looking at other schools in your area, a lot of them will include a tour round the school during the day so you can see the lessons going on and if you speak to the headteacher they'll be able to confirm that A) they have a place for him and B) that changing schools shouldn't present too much of a problem.

I suspect the biggest difficulty will be getting it all sorted before January, you don't want to move him in the middle of term, it will be far easier for him to settle if it's all sorted out so he can be there on the first day of term, ready for all the new units they'll be learning.

sday12

5,053 posts

212 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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monthefish said:
Make sure your kid knows you won't tolerate this from the teacher
Er, don't do this.

Could it be that your kid has pissed off the teacher?

Sit down man chat in order.

Deva Link

26,934 posts

246 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Is it a state or private school?

Can you get him anywhere else? Decent schools are usually packed out.

davidjpowell

17,840 posts

185 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Two sides to every story - and I bet your not getting the teachers side from your 9 year old!

If you have an issue ask for a meeting to discuss.

MrTom

868 posts

204 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Your boy shouldn't be that upset, even if he is a little terror, teacher should not make his school life horrid. You should talk to the teacher, see what his problem is.

bigdods

7,172 posts

228 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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My experience is the school wont care about this. We had something similar with my oldest. Nightmare getting him to go to school, very unhappy chappy , he went from being a star pupil one year to being bottom of the class the next.

Took a while to get it out of him, but it turns out the teacher had taken a dislike to him. She regularly called him 'stupid' (confirmed by other kids in the same class) and stuck him at a desk on his own at the back. He spent every single day in detention at every break, often for minor things. Like dropping his pencil or not sharpening it enough.

We tried letters and meetings, the head refused to see us and always sent the deputy head. In the end I wrote them an official letter withdrawing their permission to exact any form of punishment including detentions. I must have scared thjem as they did stop and he got his playtimes back. Withdrew him a few weeks after this and put him in a much better school down the road.

Its your choice as a parent, just find a better school and move the child.

For what its worth it seems we werent the only ones. To the best of my knowledge 5 other children were moved to other schools for similar reasons at around the same time. One parent went to the governers and education authority and got nowhere. THey just back each other up.

The head was eventually removed when there was a minor revolt at the feeder school with parents refusing to send their children to the school when they moved up.


OnTheOverrun

3,965 posts

178 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Moving him immediately will teach him that running away from a problem is the answer. I would explore all other avenues first and try to solve the problem with the existing school before considering a new school which may be far more traumatic than staying where he is.

johnfm

13,668 posts

251 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Why would you not want to go to the school and arrange to see the teacher and sort out what the issue is? Moving him is clearly the last resort, and if the school have no interest in meeting your concerns then move him - but it may not be that difficult to bring the teacher into line.

ninja-lewis

4,242 posts

191 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Have you also tried speaking to any of the other parents in the class to see whether their child has received similar treatment or mentioned your son's treatment to them? Might help you build up a picture of what is happening before you speak to the school.

C C

198 posts

196 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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Go into school and talk to the teacher, have you had Parents Evening yet this term? Ask teacher how they think your son is doing in their class, then explain your concerns. Does what you are saying seem to come as a surprise to the teacher? Could be a personality clash or perhaps your child has been in trouble in class or the teacher may indeed be picking on him - you won't know unless you talk to the teacher about this as well as your son. If no improvement after this chat go back to school and ask to see Head or Deputy.

Alternatively if you feel uncomfortable talking to the teacher about it go in and ask to see Head or Deputy first, they could then mediate a meeting between you and teacher to help you move on from this to help your son.

Does anyone at the school currently know how your son is feeling or is it just you at home that are aware? Schools have a number of things they can put in place to support your son, most schools have kids that go through these feelings from time to time, not unusual for a child to take a while to adjust to a new teacher occasionally especially if that new teacher is different in some way to previous teachers (first time a young child has a male teacher for example - the tone of voice is different and child thinks teacher is 'cross' when it is just they have a naturally louder voice). Lots of support can be given and most of these cases are easily fixed with the right approach - but it needs home and school to work together to make things better for your son.The school can't help your son if they don't know there is a problem.

Please don't move your son to another school without trying to resolve this.

If you try all this and the problems persist or if the senior leaders aren't helpful in resolving this then you may wish to look at moving schools. Keep in mind it can take a while for children to settle into a new school and new friendship group, even if the move has happened for all the best of reasons. Contact other local schools, enquire if they have spaces in your sons year group, make an appointment to view school and talk to someone. Probably have to make application through local authority planning and admissions but some schools run their own admissions. Mid year school transfers are not unusual.

Hope you can sort things out with current school if your son has been happy there until recently.

Just a perspective from someone who works in a school & has just got home from Parents Evening!

H_Kan

4,942 posts

200 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
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I think it is worth looking into the situation in more depth first.

In all my years at school I never saw one kid being picked on in the manner described. Yeah some kids were treated differently to myself- but there was a reason behind this.

eg. If I didn't do my homework or was late, I was usually cut some slack because on the whole I was usually on time, did my work and was a polite well behaved kid. If the kid in question was a persistant offender then they were usually treated more harshly- quite understandably.

I'm not saying that there deffo isn't anything going on here, just that from my experience, there is likely to be another side to the story/ issue at play as opposed to a teacher victimising your kid.

911motorsport

Original Poster:

7,251 posts

234 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
quotequote all
Wow! Thanks for all the helpful advice everyone, especially yours MS, Big Dods and Claire. I was looking at changing his school as a last resort, although I do already have some other concerns with the way the school is run. It is a great school in many respects but seems to do little to encourage those with more ability. I am hoping to get the little fella into Grammar school and his current school seem to almost discourage training up for the 11+?. Some of the other parents have mentioned concerns over his teaching style too. It is a good point re. the children getting to used to a male teacher however, as this is indeed the first male teacher they have had! Food for thought.

My wife has an appointment to see the teacher tomorrow and we'll go from there.

On behalf of 911 junior, Many thanks

Edited by 911motorsport on Wednesday 4th November 22:09

okgo

38,070 posts

199 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
quotequote all
davidjpowell said:
Two sides to every story - and I bet your not getting the teachers side from your 9 year old!

If you have an issue ask for a meeting to discuss.
Absoloutley.

Beliving a 9 year old over a grown adult is not reccomended, although something has clearly changed..go and have a chat with them.

911motorsport

Original Poster:

7,251 posts

234 months

Wednesday 4th November 2009
quotequote all
okgo said:
davidjpowell said:
Two sides to every story - and I bet your not getting the teachers side from your 9 year old!

If you have an issue ask for a meeting to discuss.
Absoloutley.

Beliving a 9 year old over a grown adult is not reccomended, although something has clearly changed..go and have a chat with them.
Not sure about that Okgo; I know of quite a few adults that can run rings around a 9 year old when it comes to telling lies frown