contact order - family law
Discussion
anybody able to help im at my wits end here. My gf ex husband is making our lives a misery - coming to collect the kids and parking on the grass, blasting the horn outside and calling her insulting names in front of the kids, he also came in the house a while ago and tried to assult her sexually which we went to the police about. Is there anything we can do - some type of contact order to state he would have to collect the kids away from the house maybe at a halfway point. They split 2.5 years ago and he hasnt moved on at all. Mental health nurse as well
I'd just agree on a place to meet so he can take the kids that's usually busy with people like a train station or similar.
He may have rights to his his children, but he doesn't have any rights about who he collects them from (you could take them to meet him) or where he collects them from.
He may have rights to his his children, but he doesn't have any rights about who he collects them from (you could take them to meet him) or where he collects them from.
I'd be on to the local boys in blue, seems like he's using getting the kids as an excuse to belittle and harass your g/f. Explain to them what's going on, hopefully they'll have a word which at least will put him on "warning" that knowledge of his behaviour has now come to their attention. Ultimately he could be arrested.
In terms of the children and their father. They have rights, he has responsibilities towards them. Your G/F could refuse to hand them over as no order currently in force, this will then force him to apply via the usual means, court, mediation etc. If it gets that far then your G/F can outline her concerns and hopefully something will be worked out.
If there is any chance of a close friend getting through to him then maybe get them to point out the harm he is doing not only to the kids, but his relationship with them?
In terms of the children and their father. They have rights, he has responsibilities towards them. Your G/F could refuse to hand them over as no order currently in force, this will then force him to apply via the usual means, court, mediation etc. If it gets that far then your G/F can outline her concerns and hopefully something will be worked out.
If there is any chance of a close friend getting through to him then maybe get them to point out the harm he is doing not only to the kids, but his relationship with them?
dba7108 said:
anybody able to help im at my wits end here. My gf ex husband is making our lives a misery - coming to collect the kids and parking on the grass, blasting the horn outside and calling her insulting names in front of the kids, he also came in the house a while ago and tried to assult her sexually which we went to the police about. Is there anything we can do - some type of contact order to state he would have to collect the kids away from the house maybe at a halfway point. They split 2.5 years ago and he hasnt moved on at all. Mental health nurse as well
every time he engages in ASB or criminal behaviour including the name calling etc which if it;s done in the street is S,.5 Public Order call the police it's domestic violence after all if he gets charged or cautioned make sure he notifies the NMC or if he doesn;t refer him to the NMC as the ehaviours described are in breach of The Code.
current version of the code which anything before march 2015 will be dealt with under http://www.nmc-uk.org/Publications/Standards/The-c...
new version from March
http://www.nmc-uk.org/The-revised-Code/
OP
I've had a lovely 12 month + dealing with the family court, with an ex that said all sort of unsavoury things about me, if you need any help, what your plan is i could offer you options?!
Hard evidence is all the court is interested in, so if he's being a cock, just report it to plod.
Btw i am not a lawyer, just someone who has experienced it all going through it myself & helping someone else who's going through it.
I've had a lovely 12 month + dealing with the family court, with an ex that said all sort of unsavoury things about me, if you need any help, what your plan is i could offer you options?!
Hard evidence is all the court is interested in, so if he's being a cock, just report it to plod.
Btw i am not a lawyer, just someone who has experienced it all going through it myself & helping someone else who's going through it.
OP
I've had a lovely 12 month + dealing with the family court, with an ex that said all sort of unsavoury things about me, if you need any help, what your plan is i could offer you options?!
Hard evidence is all the court is interested in, so if he's being a cock, just report it to plod.
Btw i am not a lawyer, just someone who has experienced it all going through it myself & helping someone else who's going through it.
I've had a lovely 12 month + dealing with the family court, with an ex that said all sort of unsavoury things about me, if you need any help, what your plan is i could offer you options?!
Hard evidence is all the court is interested in, so if he's being a cock, just report it to plod.
Btw i am not a lawyer, just someone who has experienced it all going through it myself & helping someone else who's going through it.
Nothing happened with police /assault as my gf didn't want to press charges which really annoyed me. As he is a nurse she said he would loose his job and not be able to pay maintenance. I witnessed it myself he had her pressed against the wall it was not nice. It is a very difficult situation. Out of interest is there a 'time' in which you can press charges against an assault?
She did start recording his phone conversations and used an app on her phone to record him when he was with her. Last year social services got involved as he had them over night and decided to take an overdose of sleeping tablets .
The police did call him and have a word but he was adamant to this day it was me calling him up as a joke.
She did start recording his phone conversations and used an app on her phone to record him when he was with her. Last year social services got involved as he had them over night and decided to take an overdose of sleeping tablets .
The police did call him and have a word but he was adamant to this day it was me calling him up as a joke.
Edited by dba7108 on Sunday 15th February 23:00
dba7108 said:
Nothing happened with police /assault as my gf didn't want to press charges which really annoyed me. As he is a nurse she said he would loose his job and not be able to pay maintenance. I witnessed it myself he had her pressed against the wall it was not nice.
Then you have a bully and you have a victim. And as the victim has shown the bully that she can't/won't stand up to him you have a really big problem. Do you need his maintenance payments to survive? Odd reason not to press charges if not.
How old are the children?
What happened when children's services were involved? was it investigated under section 17 or section 47 of the children act? What was the outcome?
Was the ex partner reported to LADO, if he works with children or adult safeguarding if he works with adults?
If everything is as reported then you partner should be entitled to legal aid as she has been the victim of domestic abuse.
If she goes and visits a local solicitor they will assess her for legal aid, I would suggest she needs a non molestation order and then a contact plan either through mediation or court directed.
In the interim I suggest she sends him a letter explaining his behaviour to her is completely unacceptable and he is not welcome at her/your house and that if he does attend the property she will call the police. future contact will need to happen away from her/your home and the children will be dropped off at grandparents/friends/uncles wherever at x time and they need to be returned at x time for them to be collected 15 minutes later.
I will say if he aggressive, sexually violent and mentally unstable is he suitable to be having unsupervised contact? based on the scant information provided perhaps a friend of his or family needs to supervise him having contact?
What happened when children's services were involved? was it investigated under section 17 or section 47 of the children act? What was the outcome?
Was the ex partner reported to LADO, if he works with children or adult safeguarding if he works with adults?
If everything is as reported then you partner should be entitled to legal aid as she has been the victim of domestic abuse.
If she goes and visits a local solicitor they will assess her for legal aid, I would suggest she needs a non molestation order and then a contact plan either through mediation or court directed.
In the interim I suggest she sends him a letter explaining his behaviour to her is completely unacceptable and he is not welcome at her/your house and that if he does attend the property she will call the police. future contact will need to happen away from her/your home and the children will be dropped off at grandparents/friends/uncles wherever at x time and they need to be returned at x time for them to be collected 15 minutes later.
I will say if he aggressive, sexually violent and mentally unstable is he suitable to be having unsupervised contact? based on the scant information provided perhaps a friend of his or family needs to supervise him having contact?
I would write him a letter (everything should be in writing), laying out suggestions for times for him to collect and return the children. Tell him he is not to enter the house without permission (change the locks?).
Keep the letter short, non-personal and to the point.
If/when you do go to court, you need to be able to show you were reasonable and EVERYTHING needs to be in writing for proof. If it's not in writing, it will be a case of he said/she said.
I went through the Family Court Mincing Machine for over 7 years, including representing myself against her legal aid funded legal team.
Keep the letter short, non-personal and to the point.
If/when you do go to court, you need to be able to show you were reasonable and EVERYTHING needs to be in writing for proof. If it's not in writing, it will be a case of he said/she said.
I went through the Family Court Mincing Machine for over 7 years, including representing myself against her legal aid funded legal team.
dba7108 said:
Nothing happened with police /assault as my gf didn't want to press charges which really annoyed me. As he is a nurse she said he would loose his job and not be able to pay maintenance. I witnessed it myself he had her pressed against the wall it was not nice. It is a very difficult situation. Out of interest is there a 'time' in which you can press charges against an assault?
She did start recording his phone conversations and used an app on her phone to record him when he was with her. Last year social services got involved as he had them over night and decided to take an overdose of sleeping tablets .
The police did call him and have a word but he was adamant to this day it was me calling him up as a joke.
I have been through a very similar situation with my wife & her ex-husband. Failing to press charges is a huge mistake. This type of behaviour from her ex will not stop. My wife has been through many years of bullying behaviour both physical & mental from her ex. Her biggest mistake in my opinion was a failure in the early stages to press charges through giving him the benefit of the doubt & the reasons you give (lose job & not pay maintenance). He WILL find a way not to pay anyhow. Subsequently he has been arrested by the police & given a caution. He was arrested on another ocassion but whilst they fully believed what had happened could not press charges through a lack of evidence. This sort of behavior needs to be stopped early on & with the full weight of law. My experience is the police have no time for this sort of behavior & see the patterns. He will get smart to ensuring that what he does not make an offence, but it will mess up your lives unless you stop it. Don;t fall foul of the law yourselves though no matter the temptation. Recording conversations without notifying the other party is an offence I believe.She did start recording his phone conversations and used an app on her phone to record him when he was with her. Last year social services got involved as he had them over night and decided to take an overdose of sleeping tablets .
The police did call him and have a word but he was adamant to this day it was me calling him up as a joke.
Edited by dba7108 on Sunday 15th February 23:00
dba7108 said:
She didn't want me to have a word and the police said I couldn't do anything. We actually fell out over this as I felt I couldn't do anything.
So when you witnessed this, did you approach him & she stopped you from doing anything?If so, why didn't you warn him that if he pulls a stunt like that again, there would be trouble?
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