Removing cheating spouse from home - URGENT advice needed
Discussion
Reading back to your first post , Isn't she living with the new bloke, so is she entitled to any maintenance? And did the eldest move in with you or end up going too?
If possible, no matter how much you dislike her, I would attempt to do it direct without solicitors, will just be wasted money all around.
If possible, no matter how much you dislike her, I would attempt to do it direct without solicitors, will just be wasted money all around.
hyphen said:
Reading back to your first post , Isn't she living with the new bloke, so is she entitled to any maintenance? And did the eldest move in with you or end up going too?
If possible, no matter how much you dislike her, I would attempt to do it direct without solicitors, will just be wasted money all around.
A shed load has happened since then - she lived with the If possible, no matter how much you dislike her, I would attempt to do it direct without solicitors, will just be wasted money all around.
for 6 months then got kicked out - then I helped her establish her own rental - now she is back with the guy but not cohabiting. The eldest (stepson) is living between hers, mine and his grandparents (I work away from home midweek).It’s okay saying don’t use solicitors - it ultimately I aim to obtain a consent order as that’s the only thing stopping her coming for me in the future when I (hopefully) drain the NHS litigation authorities budget.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Possibly. Or alternatively because the pair of them are so feckless and vascilating in their emotions, whilst harbouring delusional ideas about children on all sides happily embracing their upheavals and spouses merely fading into irrelevance.I have a few nuclear options up my sleeve, like hard evidence of benefit fraud, not to mention the Balkan option. If it looks as though she has me over a barrel at any point it will be mutually assured destruction.
theboss said:
Possibly. Or alternatively because the pair of them are so feckless and vascilating in their emotions, whilst harbouring delusional ideas about children on all sides happily embracing their upheavals and spouses merely fading into irrelevance.
I have a few nuclear options up my sleeve, like hard evidence of benefit fraud, not to mention the Balkan option. If it looks as though she has me over a barrel at any point it will be mutually assured destruction.
I like the cut of your jib. If it’s looking like it’ll be a bloodbath; just up sticks and leave. I’d do the same thing; couldn’t face the piss takers winning. I have a few nuclear options up my sleeve, like hard evidence of benefit fraud, not to mention the Balkan option. If it looks as though she has me over a barrel at any point it will be mutually assured destruction.
LDN said:
I like the cut of your jib. If it’s looking like it’ll be a bloodbath; just up sticks and leave. I’d do the same thing; couldn’t face the piss takers winning.
It’s the last thing I want to do to my kids - but I simply refuse to spend much of the remainder of my precious working life battling with a disability every day whilst working merely to enrich her and countless other benefit mums courtesy of HMRC.I’m hoping she will see sense and wish to maintain the status quo - but it’s wishful thinking.
Rovinghawk said:
I know a lot of divorced people but I've never met the 'bad' person in the divorce, only the innocent aggrieved party.
Oh I don't know. We have some friends that divorced and the one we remained in contact with for a while was definitely the "bad" person, hence we don't speak any more. Having to hear her gloat over how she stitched up her partner was the last straw.MKnight702 said:
Rovinghawk said:
I know a lot of divorced people but I've never met the 'bad' person in the divorce, only the innocent aggrieved party.
Oh I don't know. We have some friends that divorced and the one we remained in contact with for a while was definitely the "bad" person, hence we don't speak any more. Having to hear her gloat over how she stitched up her partner was the last straw.LDN said:
I agree; there’s often a clear ‘bad’ party. It’s not always that clear but it can be.
Its unclear because in any unilateral relationship breakdown there is an aggrieved party who didn't want it to happen - they may always be susceptible to bad-mouthing the other even if it was done relatively innocently.Though I was traumatised about the breakup of my family at the time, it was the way my ex went about things which I think makes me justified in calling her out as the bad party. Cheating is one thing, in many respects its just human nature and has happened throughout all cultures and ages, but for somebody to willfully manipulate a committed partner for a long period, accusing them of delusional paranoia and insecurity whilst conducting a covert affair and refusing to engage in any sort of frank discussion, is tantamount to psychological abuse in my opinion. This is the woman who picked her own children up from school one Friday and with no advance warning took them to a new never-seen-before house with a strange new 'stepdad' figure waving at them on arrival. I'd like to try and find a teacher, social worker or child psychologist who would be happy to endorse this approach to parental separation. Then add all the scheming, false accusations, manipulation of shared childcare for financial gain, etc.
theboss said:
Its unclear because in any unilateral relationship breakdown there is an aggrieved party who didn't want it to happen - they may always be susceptible to bad-mouthing the other even if it was done relatively innocently.
Though I was traumatised about the breakup of my family at the time, it was the way my ex went about things which I think makes me justified in calling her out as the bad party. Cheating is one thing, in many respects its just human nature and has happened throughout all cultures and ages, but for somebody to willfully manipulate a committed partner for a long period, accusing them of delusional paranoia and insecurity whilst conducting a covert affair and refusing to engage in any sort of frank discussion, is tantamount to psychological abuse in my opinion. This is the woman who picked her own children up from school one Friday and with no advance warning took them to a new never-seen-before house with a strange new 'stepdad' figure waving at them on arrival. I'd like to try and find a teacher, social worker or child psychologist who would be happy to endorse this approach to parental separation. Then add all the scheming, false accusations, manipulation of shared childcare for financial gain, etc.
You are 100% right. Whilst your moral compass might say that you must do this or that, with regard to children or any parental duties; there comes a point where you have to look out for yourself, most certainly. Though I was traumatised about the breakup of my family at the time, it was the way my ex went about things which I think makes me justified in calling her out as the bad party. Cheating is one thing, in many respects its just human nature and has happened throughout all cultures and ages, but for somebody to willfully manipulate a committed partner for a long period, accusing them of delusional paranoia and insecurity whilst conducting a covert affair and refusing to engage in any sort of frank discussion, is tantamount to psychological abuse in my opinion. This is the woman who picked her own children up from school one Friday and with no advance warning took them to a new never-seen-before house with a strange new 'stepdad' figure waving at them on arrival. I'd like to try and find a teacher, social worker or child psychologist who would be happy to endorse this approach to parental separation. Then add all the scheming, false accusations, manipulation of shared childcare for financial gain, etc.
So just 2 years and 3 months after the ex-wife upped and left, I did the PH unthinkable and re-married my new Serbian girlfriend. In the 10 months we have beee together she has been an absolute breath of fresh air, down to earth, shows a totally different perspective on life sans Western entitlement-complex, and is genuinely adoring towards my kids who think the world of her. Realising the relationship could only move forward by complying with immigration requirements I called a shotgun registry office appointment last month and got on with it. I’ve encountered some cynicism and expect no less here 
but I genuinely feel as though life is too short to live my life in fear of being burned again and I hold a very high degree of trust. I have also acquired a wonderful new family in the Balkans and am really enjoying regular trips and local hospitality there whilst we sort her visa.
My ex and I have still to finalise legals post-divorce but our Form E disclosures are being exchanged this week and our first hearing is next month.
She is still with the affair partner from the start of the thread and the kids seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he’s remaining “on the scene” although they apparently aren’t cohabiting again yet.
but I genuinely feel as though life is too short to live my life in fear of being burned again and I hold a very high degree of trust. I have also acquired a wonderful new family in the Balkans and am really enjoying regular trips and local hospitality there whilst we sort her visa.My ex and I have still to finalise legals post-divorce but our Form E disclosures are being exchanged this week and our first hearing is next month.
She is still with the affair partner from the start of the thread and the kids seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he’s remaining “on the scene” although they apparently aren’t cohabiting again yet.
theboss said:
So just 2 years and 3 months after the ex-wife upped and left, I did the PH unthinkable and re-married my new Serbian girlfriend. In the 10 months we have beee together she has been an absolute breath of fresh air, down to earth, shows a totally different perspective on life sans Western entitlement-complex, and is genuinely adoring towards my kids who think the world of her. Realising the relationship could only move forward by complying with immigration requirements I called a shotgun registry office appointment last month and got on with it. I’ve encountered some cynicism and expect no less here but I genuinely feel as though life is too short to live my life in fear of being burned again and I hold a very high degree of trust. I have also acquired a wonderful new family in the Balkans and am really enjoying regular trips and local hospitality there whilst we sort her visa.
My ex and I have still to finalise legals post-divorce but our Form E disclosures are being exchanged this week and our first hearing is next month.
She is still with the affair partner from the start of the thread and the kids seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he’s remaining “on the scene” although they apparently aren’t cohabiting again yet.
Mate good luck to you. You will get no bashing from me. I met another women whilst going through my divorce. We’ve been together her 10 years. Best to thing I ever did. She’s 10 years younger than me and drags my fat lazy arse in to doing all sorts of things. I’m 40+ years old and currently in Ibiza loving my life. but I genuinely feel as though life is too short to live my life in fear of being burned again and I hold a very high degree of trust. I have also acquired a wonderful new family in the Balkans and am really enjoying regular trips and local hospitality there whilst we sort her visa.My ex and I have still to finalise legals post-divorce but our Form E disclosures are being exchanged this week and our first hearing is next month.
She is still with the affair partner from the start of the thread and the kids seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he’s remaining “on the scene” although they apparently aren’t cohabiting again yet.
Again all the best and I hope it works out for you.
10 months?? Visa??
Couldn't you have just come to an agreement where you marry her, and once visa is done divorce.
Or "I've been badly burnt, we must have a prenup"
Having said that, I'm sure you know what you're doing having been through the experience with last one, and congratulations
Couldn't you have just come to an agreement where you marry her, and once visa is done divorce.
Or "I've been badly burnt, we must have a prenup"
Having said that, I'm sure you know what you're doing having been through the experience with last one, and congratulations
theboss said:
So just 2 years and 3 months after the ex-wife upped and left, I did the PH unthinkable and re-married my new Serbian girlfriend. In the 10 months we have beee together she has been an absolute breath of fresh air, down to earth, shows a totally different perspective on life sans Western entitlement-complex, and is genuinely adoring towards my kids who think the world of her. Realising the relationship could only move forward by complying with immigration requirements I called a shotgun registry office appointment last month and got on with it. I’ve encountered some cynicism and expect no less here but I genuinely feel as though life is too short to live my life in fear of being burned again and I hold a very high degree of trust. I have also acquired a wonderful new family in the Balkans and am really enjoying regular trips and local hospitality there whilst we sort her visa.
My ex and I have still to finalise legals post-divorce but our Form E disclosures are being exchanged this week and our first hearing is next month.
She is still with the affair partner from the start of the thread and the kids seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he’s remaining “on the scene” although they apparently aren’t cohabiting again yet.
Good for you. Nothing wrong with marrying someone from the Balkans despite the sneering you may encounter. They are loving, and look after themselves so can't turn your nose up at that. Better than an obese, self-entitled harpy anyway. but I genuinely feel as though life is too short to live my life in fear of being burned again and I hold a very high degree of trust. I have also acquired a wonderful new family in the Balkans and am really enjoying regular trips and local hospitality there whilst we sort her visa.My ex and I have still to finalise legals post-divorce but our Form E disclosures are being exchanged this week and our first hearing is next month.
She is still with the affair partner from the start of the thread and the kids seem to be coming to terms with the fact that he’s remaining “on the scene” although they apparently aren’t cohabiting again yet.
Mushroom12 said:
Good for you. Nothing wrong with marrying someone from the Balkans despite the sneering you may encounter. They are loving, and look after themselves so can't turn your nose up at that. Better than an obese, self-entitled harpy anyway.
I'd echo this, in that part of the world, family is all that matters, they don't care for materials possessions and social class nearly as much as western women, who are poisoned by daytime TV and toxic gossip.lyonspride said:
Mushroom12 said:
Good for you. Nothing wrong with marrying someone from the Balkans despite the sneering you may encounter. They are loving, and look after themselves so can't turn your nose up at that. Better than an obese, self-entitled harpy anyway.
I'd echo this, in that part of the world, family is all that matters, they don't care for materials possessions and social class nearly as much as western women, who are poisoned by daytime TV and toxic gossip.motco said:
lyonspride said:
Mushroom12 said:
Good for you. Nothing wrong with marrying someone from the Balkans despite the sneering you may encounter. They are loving, and look after themselves so can't turn your nose up at that. Better than an obese, self-entitled harpy anyway.
I'd echo this, in that part of the world, family is all that matters, they don't care for materials possessions and social class nearly as much as western women, who are poisoned by daytime TV and toxic gossip.Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff