Malicious email / police involved

[sugerbear]

stuartmmcfc said:

Breadvan72 said:

Bad: coming home to find your kids watching a porno.

Worse: You're in it.

I can think of much worse. What if it was your Mum in it for starters?

I can, you get an erection.

[bitchstewie]

Meanwhile still strangley quiet on exactly what the email said.

[BlackLabel]

OP did the police tell your son that he wasn’t allowed to contact the friend in question or was it only a ‘oh we wouldn’t recommend it’ type thing? Surely your son should just be straight with the friend, apologise etc and hopefully it will stop things going any further.

Seems bizarre that anyone thought it would be a good idea to let the brother know though - surely in a scenario like this ignorance is bliss. Who would want to know (or be reminded of the fact because he probably already knew) that your middle aged sister is into this kind of thing. And knowing is one thing but to actually be forced to see the evidence?

[RB Will]

Don't know if I missed it along the way but I would be interested to know if this was a close friend, like comes to your house, go out together regularly friend. Maybe even the OP knows him in this case? Or is it a "friend" ie someone from school / college that the OPs son just knows / knows of and he is calling him a friend so he can make the claim he has that he was just trying to warn his mate.

The latter may explain why even when told who sent the email and why the victim is still saying to press charges because they are not really friends and he knows this was a piss take from a bully.

[dave7108]

It was a very close friend - he would go to the pub with him most weeks etc.

Police advised " I would advise you not to contact him at this stage as I dont think it would be welcomed"

[cbmotorsport]

RB Will said:

Don't know if I missed it along the way but I would be interested to know if this was a close friend, like comes to your house, go out together regularly friend. Maybe even the OP knows him in this case? Or is it a "friend" ie someone from school / college that the OPs son just knows / knows of and he is calling him a friend so he can make the claim he has that he was just trying to warn his mate.

The latter may explain why even when told who sent the email and why the victim is still saying to press charges because they are not really friends and he knows this was a piss take from a bully.

^ This.

OP, I suspect your Son is not friends with the brother, and he's just someone he knows. Perhaps he's not telling you the truth, and he's anonymously emailed to shame the brother by pointing out his sisters shenanigans.

[dave7108]

cbmotorsport said:

^ This.

OP, I suspect your Son is not friends with the brother, and he's just someone he knows. Perhaps he's not telling you the truth, and he's anonymously emailed to shame the brother by pointing out his sisters shenanigans.

Good friends - see each other once a week etc

[Stu08]

Something doesn't add up.

What was the screenshot that your son sent? Was it her face? Or was it a full image of the brother in questions sister - with everything on show? If the latter, I can understand the brother (his friend) feeling pissed off as that's not really needed. A simple chat without any graphics would have been sufficient.

Or......

Your son is 20, I assume the friend is the same? If you say the sister is 'middle aged' are we talking 40+ sort of middle age (i.e. a huge age gap between the brother and sister being born); or are we talking middle teens?.................that makes a huge difference.

It just seems odd for two friends; who saw each other regularly to behave in such a way. Your son for not feeling as though he could talk face to face to his close friend; and his close friend attempting to prosecute him despite the admittedly wrong way of going about telling him.

Edited by Stu08 on Thursday 26th October 12:37

[Blue Oval84]

Stu08 said:

It just seems odd for two friends; who saw each other regularly to behave in such a way. Your son for not feeling as though he could talk face to face to his close friend; and his close friend attempting to prosecute him despite the admittedly wrong way of going about telling him.

Edited by Stu08 on Thursday 26th October 12:37

I think that's the bit that seems odd to me. Maybe it's because I'm in my 30's so remember a time before being permanently online, but in this situation the last thing that would occur to me is to setup an anonymous e-mail and fire the gory details across like that.

[cbmotorsport]

dave7108 said:

Good friends - see each other once a week etc

Fair enough....but not that good if he's pressing charges.

[otolith]

Although their views may be taken into account, it isn't up to a victim of a crime whether the police/CPS charge.

[CAPP0]

cbmotorsport said:

dave7108 said:

Good friends - see each other once a week etc

Fair enough....but not that good if he's pressing charges.

Haven't read the whole thread, just the first and last pages as I suspect the content in the middle will just be the usual suspects having the usual fight in the usual paper bag, so I don't know If this has been covered:

- Does the friend (with the sister) KNOW who it is who sent the email? Or are the police just saying "we've found the person" but haven't told him who? And perhaps for some strange reason the police don't want the charges dropped? If the friend-with-the-sister knew it was his regular drinking friend and was sent with the best of intentions, would that help resolve things?

OP, if you know the friend well enough, worth you talking to him and explaining? Even by phone so as not to attract any suspicion of intimidation?

[dave7108]

He knows the friend very well but didnt want to get involved as such so did it anonymously - big mistake in hindsight.
The friend knows its him - the police have told him. the police also spoke to him and put across that it wasnt sent in malice. Police say he still wants to press charges but it isnt up to him. Police/CPS decision - in general public interest. From what I gather speaking to police is that they would rather wrap this up as it a) wasnt done in malice. b) not involving underage c) was already in the public domain, either uploaded by the girl herself or a 'customer' of a webcam site.

The girl in question - from what im led to believe doesnt know anything about this at all. The brother doesnt want her to know that everyone knows etc.

[superlightr]

dave7108 said:

He knows the friend very well but didnt want to get involved as such so did it anonymously - big mistake in hindsight.
The friend knows its him - the police have told him. the police also spoke to him and put across that it wasnt sent in malice. Police say he still wants to press charges but it isnt up to him. Police/CPS decision - in general public interest. From what I gather speaking to police is that they would rather wrap this up as it a) wasnt done in malice. b) not involving underage c) was already in the public domain, either uploaded by the girl herself or a 'customer' of a webcam site.

The girl in question - from what im led to believe doesnt know anything about this at all. The brother doesnt want her to know that everyone knows etc.

be good to hear her view on PH........

[cbmotorsport]

dave7108 said:

He knows the friend very well but didnt want to get involved as such so did it anonymously - big mistake in hindsight.
The friend knows its him - the police have told him. the police also spoke to him and put across that it wasnt sent in malice. Police say he still wants to press charges but it isnt up to him. Police/CPS decision - in general public interest. From what I gather speaking to police is that they would rather wrap this up as it a) wasnt done in malice. b) not involving underage c) was already in the public domain, either uploaded by the girl herself or a 'customer' of a webcam site.

The girl in question - from what im led to believe doesnt know anything about this at all. The brother doesnt want her to know that everyone knows etc.

Dave, I understand your loyalty to your son, and I don't wish to talk out of turn, but you seem to be accepting your sons story, and dismissing any suggestion that there's more to this. Do you have any doubts about it? Could there have been a fall out that you don't know about that happened before the incident? Some motivation for your boy to be malicious to the brother? I just can't get my head round the anonymous email thing, and the jokey script that accompanied it.

[Stu08]

dave7108 said:

He knows the friend very well but didnt want to get involved as such so did it anonymously - big mistake in hindsight.
The friend knows its him - the police have told him. the police also spoke to him and put across that it wasnt sent in malice. Police say he still wants to press charges but it isnt up to him. Police/CPS decision - in general public interest. From what I gather speaking to police is that they would rather wrap this up as it a) wasnt done in malice. b) not involving underage c) was already in the public domain, either uploaded by the girl herself or a 'customer' of a webcam site.

The girl in question - from what im led to believe doesnt know anything about this at all. The brother doesnt want her to know that everyone knows etc.

Apologies for further questions about your son.

You say it's up to police / CPS in general interest of public.......and then also say the friend wants to prosecute anyway.

Am I reading that right? I really can't understand why the friend is wanting to prosecute your son so much. Is there really nothing else that needs to be known (not for us but for you to know the whole story).

Again - not attacking your son as I don't know him.

Edited by Stu08 on Thursday 26th October 16:42

[poo at Paul's]

It's all about as odd as a bottle of fking crisps, the whole thing. You're son seems to have a very odd view of how to treat his mates, and the mate seems to be a fking oddball too. I wonder how people like this get up in a morning and dress themselves and get through the day.... when they have such a fked up view on how the a normal way to behave.

You should tell you son not to be a nob, and then call the mate up and tell him to grow a pair, the crybaby beyatch. For the police to be involved is something so fking trivial, you should all be ashamed.

[PorkInsider]

cbmotorsport said:

dave7108 said:

He knows the friend very well but didnt want to get involved as such so did it anonymously - big mistake in hindsight.
The friend knows its him - the police have told him. the police also spoke to him and put across that it wasnt sent in malice. Police say he still wants to press charges but it isnt up to him. Police/CPS decision - in general public interest. From what I gather speaking to police is that they would rather wrap this up as it a) wasnt done in malice. b) not involving underage c) was already in the public domain, either uploaded by the girl herself or a 'customer' of a webcam site.

The girl in question - from what im led to believe doesnt know anything about this at all. The brother doesnt want her to know that everyone knows etc.

Dave, I understand your loyalty to your son, and I don't wish to talk out of turn, but you seem to be accepting your sons story, and dismissing any suggestion that there's more to this. Do you have any doubts about it? Could there have been a fall out that you don't know about that happened before the incident? Some motivation for your boy to be malicious to the brother? I just can't get my head round the anonymous email thing, and the jokey script that accompanied it.

I completely agree with this.

On one hand, OP, you said that your son thought his friend should know what was going on, so sent him an email to make him aware:

"My son was sent it and thought his friend (whose sister was in the video) deserved to know what was going on. He didnt want to get involved directly but felt this needed taking down so sent"

"Son admits to sending it and says he would do it again as brother should know whats been going around."

That sounds like the actions of good friend and even though he didn't want to get involved he felt it was his duty, as a friend, to say something. Very noble...

But then you later said he sent the email anonymously, with screenshot(s) of her face and joking about it!

So what he actually did was to send an email taking the piss, not to gallantly tip his mate off that something bad was going around with regard to his sister?

[Escapegoat]

poo at Paul's said:

You should tell you son not to be a nob, and then call the mate up and tell him to grow a pair, the crybaby beyatch.

Yup, that's "PH Suggestion of the Week" right there; harassing the complainant during a police investigation. What could possibly go wrong?

[poo at Paul's]

Escapegoat said:

poo at Paul's said:

You should tell you son not to be a nob, and then call the mate up and tell him to grow a pair, the crybaby beyatch.

Yup, that's "PH Suggestion of the Week" right there; harassing the complainant during a police investigation. What could possibly go wrong?

He's a 20 something year old man ffs, not some kid . He should grow up and stop being so flipping "precious". This is of course assuming that the OP is being above board with it all, if he is, its a fking embarrassment that it's gone as far as it has.

How do these precious flowers cope in 21st century Britain? It's pathetic if you think about it! His sister gets her growler out on webcams for money. So what. if she is ok with it, why's the brother so upset about it? Instead of plod being all goodey two shoes and saying "give him space" they should knock their fking heads together. What a monumental waste of time and resource.