Attacked by security guard - police blaming me!

[Greendubber]

Countdown said:

bhstewie said:

La Liga said:

I was asked for my receipt a while ago. My first thought wasn’t, “What’s the best way I can escalate this and cause conflict?”

The police officer is probably trying to get it binned quickly with an RJ because she has better things to do than deal with two adults who can’t resolve a simple matter by using some degree of compromise and common sense.

Where was your partner when you were asked for the receipt you didn’t have but then she then had later on?

Easy way and hard way isn't there?

Some people always seem to choose the hard way.

I was just about to post the same thing.

How on earth do grown people get themselves into such situations?

Same here.

I think it happens when silly people interact with each other.

[The Mad Monk]

milkround said:

Went to a supermarket. Paid for my shopping on one of those self-service machines. One of them that don't give you receipts all the time and always ask if you want a receipt.

As I'm leaving security guard demands to see my receipt. Explain I don't have one - so am told very firmly come with me. At this point, I have no inclination to come with anyone so walk out. I'd paid for my shopping. I'd done nothing wrong. If he'd asked nicely it might have been different - but I take my civil liberties very seriously.

Next thing I know this security guard is grabbing me in the car park. Pushing me. Even attempts to twist my arm behind my back. Tells me I can't go anywhere. I say lets call the police - he says no and that he is security and I'll do what he says. After I'm knocked to the floor I allegedly get up and punch him in the face. I remember pushing him back but can't remember punching. I'd also been kicked by him. The man totally lost his control. He kept calling me homophobic names so I presume he thought I was gay. I genuinely think he was attacking me because he thought I was homosexual thinking about it.

At this point I get to my car - but he then grabs hold of my partner. She actually sees a receipt which in the commotion is half ripped. I drive up and he lets her go. I drove home and call the police and tell them what happened. There was a receipt I just didn't know about it at the time. Police say no one to come out etc...

All this was a good few days ago. But yesterday I got a call from a Police lady. Saying she'd tried coming to my house on Friday. I explained I worked etc. She wants me to sign something saying I apologise and I was in the wrong! I ask why he grabbed me - but she says I should have just gone with him and done what he wanted. I ask why he attacked me. She claims as a security gaurd he can do that. I ask why he didn't just call the police like I asked - and she claims that they are to busy to come out.

Now here is the stinker. She wanted me to 'apologise' and agree to not go to that store. I'm happy to not go to that store but will never apologise. She said if I didn't do a 'community resolution' she'd have to give me a caution that goes on my record. I said I'm happy to come and give a statement (with a solicitor) but she didn't want me to do this. Said she'd need to 'think about it then'. Which tells me that she knows I've done nothing wrong and is just trying to cover it up. Why else would she not want me to have a solicitor??? It's all on CCTV.

The real stinker is that I do a bit of HGV driving for that supermarket. And my partner who is a pharmacist does some locum work for them. I'm minded to sue them tbh for the assault.

So what's the best way to deal with this now? Should I call up some solicitors? Should I call up the Police and ask to speak to someone who isn't an idiot who can look at the CCTV and not jump to conclusions that security guard = right to attack? I've found out how to request all CCTV footage from the supermarket and will be doing that today.

If it happened tomorrow, what would you do differently?

[bitchstewie]

gooner1 said:

bhstewie said:

Easy way and hard way isn't there?

Some people always seem to choose the hard way.

Presumably you would have accepted a police caution then.

Think I'll reserve judgement until we've seen the CTV footage and
not be one of those who jump to conclusions.

No, I'd have acted sensibly and helped out rather than take the "walk out. I'd paid for my shopping. I'd done nothing wrong. If he'd asked nicely it might have been different - but I take my civil liberties very seriously" approach.

As I said, easy way and hard way.

[Saudade]

V1nce Fox said:

Why the hell wouldn't you get a receipt?

I always make sure I have one in my hand when walking through any shop exit or past security. It immediately removes their option to escalate anything.

This is surely basic common sense isn't it?

Environmental and efficiency reasons.

Common sense? I'd argue it's just a huge waste of resources. Even if the resource use had no impact on anyone or anything else in the entire universe, it is still faster to press "No" when the self-checkout asks if you want a receipt, so there is a selfish motivation as well.

[gooner1]

bhstewie said:

gooner1 said:

bhstewie said:

Easy way and hard way isn't there?

Some people always seem to choose the hard way.

Presumably you would have accepted a police caution then.

Think I'll reserve judgement until we've seen the CTV footage and
not be one of those who jump to conclusions.

No, I'd have acted sensibly and helped out rather than take the "walk out. I'd paid for my shopping. I'd done nothing wrong. If he'd asked nicely it might have been different - but I take my civil liberties very seriously" approach.

As I said, easy way and hard way.

And if the CTV proves the OP to be correct and the Security person acted far beyond
his remit?

[soad]

V1nce Fox said:

Why the hell wouldn't you get a receipt?

I always make sure I have one in my hand when walking through any shop exit or past security. It immediately removes their option to escalate anything.

This is surely basic common sense isn't it?

Less waste.

I never get one if paying by a card, transaction will appear on the mobile app nearly straightaway.

Plus Sainsbury's tills have fancy cameras, mounted on the actual till. Not in a ceiling like most other stores do.

[Kizmiaz]

Jonnny said:

ambuletz said:

report it as a hate crime for him calling you gay while attacking you.

This would definitely cause the most grief for the security guard/supermarket.

Totally with the OP on this. Get him fired.

[bitchstewie]

gooner1 said:

And if the CTV proves the OP to be correct and the Security person acted far beyond
his remit?

Then OP should do whatever they see fit.

But they should also reflect on how to avoid getting into a totally and utterly avoidable situation in the first place.

It doesn't seem difficult.

[V1nce Fox]

soad said:

V1nce Fox said:

Why the hell wouldn't you get a receipt?

I always make sure I have one in my hand when walking through any shop exit or past security. It immediately removes their option to escalate anything.

This is surely basic common sense isn't it?

Less waste.

I never get one if paying by a card, transaction will appear on the mobile app nearly straightaway.

Plus Sainsbury's tills have fancy cameras, mounted on the actual till. Not in a ceiling like most other stores do.

I always, ALWAYS get a paper receipt if I'm somewhere with door security.

[bitchstewie]

V1nce Fox said:

I always, ALWAYS get a paper receipt if I'm somewhere with door security.

Ditto.

Particularly with the bag charge.

Mostly to avoid any awkwardness if I walk out of Boots holding something I've purchased, and then walk into Superdrug holding something that they sell.

[anonymous-user]

jamoor said:

ambuletz said:

report it as a hate crime for him calling you gay while attacking you.

Yep this will be taken extremely seriously.

I doubt they'll care that much.

[anonymous-user]

funny thing was op had a receipt, but didn't liked being spoken to firmly or aggressively..because civil liberties..

[4rephill]

milkround said:

Alucidnation said:

garyhun said:

I’m guessing that if you’d gone with him when originally asked you could have sorted this out and been on your way within minutes.

Yeah but, yeah but....

If I could go back in time... Then maybe........

There's no "maybe" about it - You handled the situation in completely the wrong way.

Had you remained calm, and simply gone with the guard to sort the whole situation out, by having the video footage reviewed, you would have got an apology from the store (assuming you genuinely had paid for all your shopping), and they may have thrown in some vouchers to spend in the store, as a part of the apology.

But you didn't do that.

Instead, you decided to take a: "FK YOU!" attitude, and walk out of the store, escalating the situation to a level it didn't need to go to.

milkround said:

.....But when someone aggressively tells you what to do then sometimes you don't think that clearly........

Depends on your attitude.

It sounds as though you're an aggressive, fiery person who takes everything personally, who, by your own admission, sometimes loses the plot when people talk to you in a manner you perceive as being aggressive.

Personally, I find it better to stay calm, diffuse the situation, and get it it all sorted out in a polite, civilised manner.

milkround said:

......Frankly, I'd done nothing wrong....

Until you decided to walk out the shop, rather than simply getting the situation sorted out calmly.

milkround said:

And I didn't appreciate either been spoken to like that or assaulted. And not showing a receipt (which the company gives you an option to not have!) doesn't mean they can attack you.

You met perceived aggression with aggression, and tried to just walk/drive away, without sorting out the situation in a calm manner, escalating the situation.

I suspect the security guard, believing you to be a shoplifter who was determined to get away, tried to restrain you, and you started throwing your arms around to get him off you - as you've previously admitted:

milkround said:

.....But when someone aggressively tells you what to do then sometimes you don't think that clearly........

My monies on, the "red mist" hit you, you weren't thinking clearly, and what you believe happened with the security guard, and what actually happened, aren't quite the same thing.

TBH, It sounds as though you have some major anger issues!

[gooner1]

bhstewie said:

gooner1 said:

And if the CTV proves the OP to be correct and the Security person acted far beyond
his remit?

Then OP should do whatever they see fit.

But they should also reflect on how to avoid getting into a totally and utterly avoidable situation in the first place.

It doesn't seem difficult.

Which is why I for one will wait until the CTV footage shows if it was in fact an avoidable
situation, and not jump to conclusions either way.

Is my approach difficult?

[bitchstewie]

gooner1 said:

Which is why I for one will wait until the CTV footage shows if it was in fact an avoidable
situation, and not jump to conclusions either way.

Is my approach difficult?

By the OP's own narrative it was 100% avoidable.

Don't just "walk out".

Situation avoided with some basic common sense.

[Rewe]

gooner1 said:

Which is why I for one will wait until the CTV footage shows if it was in fact an avoidable
situation, and not jump to conclusions either way.

Is my approach difficult?

Not difficult, but I bet you 20p we never see the footage.

[buggalugs]

bhstewie said:

No, I'd have acted sensibly and helped out rather than take the "walk out. I'd paid for my shopping. I'd done nothing wrong. If he'd asked nicely it might have been different - but I take my civil liberties very seriously" approach.

As I said, easy way and hard way.

In my book the easy way would have been for the security goon to a) be more sure of what he thought he saw to avoid bothering the innocent, b) the security guard not to be such a dick in the initial contact that he wound the OP up and didn't get cooperation, c) the security guard not escalate the incident by then having a fight with a customer in the car park... over a bag of shopping.

Oh and how about d) go review the cctv and if there was theft then give OP's mugshot and number plate to the police.

That my friend would have been the easy way.

[Zarco]

I would have karate chopped him in the neck. I know my rights.

[stinkyspanner]

kiethton said:

Thesprucegoose said:

steveo3002 said:

shouldnt get kicked round the car park for it though should he?

No but we have only heard one side of the story, op admits punching security guard in the face.

Tbh if I was being assaulted by a security guard they’d have far more than a punch in the face. Limbs break very easily and quickly, even with fairly small pressure, if applied in specific places.

'Ooh, you're hard' David Brent

[citizensm1th]

gooner1 said:

citizensm1th said:

How the fk am i supposed to know? at a guess it saves them some money

So you don't know the answer to my question, then responded to it, twice now.
And you're asking me how the fk you are supposed to know the answer to the question
I asked?

you are an argumentative at times, my first reply to you was to confirm that supermarkets do give you the choice of having a receipt or not, nothing more.