Divorce Question
Discussion
Nemophilist said:
I instigated the divorce in my situation but I wanted the the official divorce papers to be submitted by my ex as I didn’t have the mental space or money for it at the time. They could have put any amount of unreasonable reasons down and I wouldn’t have cared, I just wanted to be as divorced and away from that as possible.
I doubt me paying for the privilege of listing out all their unreasonable behaviour to go in front of a judge would have made me feel any better about it
Grounds for divorce are usually the thing that clients worry about the most but matter the least! The thing they worry about the least but probably matter the most are their pensions...I doubt me paying for the privilege of listing out all their unreasonable behaviour to go in front of a judge would have made me feel any better about it
theboss said:
Exactly.
It also begs the question of how one would actually prove it if it came to a dispute. Does the court need video footage of the act?
This is a good question and, put simply, that is probably what it would take if the other spouse will not admit it. I have been in the family law and divorce game for some time now and I have only ever had one case where we actually had video evidence of the adultery. It also begs the question of how one would actually prove it if it came to a dispute. Does the court need video footage of the act?
In that case, the husband had actually filmed himself in the family home each time with these random women. What made it even more controversial was that the parties lived in Dubai where adultery is a massive no no.
As such, husband had to tread extremely carefully given that our client, the wife, had the original video footage in her possession and could hand it to the Dubai authorities at any time.
Divorce went through in England in the end (both parties English and domiciled here) but wife had amazing leverage throughout the case and got a great financial outcome as a result. Big mistake by the husband and I suspect that the allure and excitement of the adultery and recording of it continues to haunt him to this day!
I suspect that I am unlikely to have evidence of adultery like that in another case.
madmatteo said:
This is a good question and, put simply, that is probably what it would take if the other spouse will not admit it. I have been in the family law and divorce game for some time now and I have only ever had one case where we actually had video evidence of the adultery.
In that case, the husband had actually filmed himself in the family home each time with these random women. What made it even more controversial was that the parties lived in Dubai where adultery is a massive no no.
As such, husband had to tread extremely carefully given that our client, the wife, had the original video footage in her possession and could hand it to the Dubai authorities at any time.
Divorce went through in England in the end (both parties English and domiciled here) but wife had amazing leverage throughout the case and got a great financial outcome as a result. Big mistake by the husband and I suspect that the allure and excitement of the adultery and recording of it continues to haunt him to this day!
I suspect that I am unlikely to have evidence of adultery like that in another case.
Clear where his brain was situated that day he filmed then …..In that case, the husband had actually filmed himself in the family home each time with these random women. What made it even more controversial was that the parties lived in Dubai where adultery is a massive no no.
As such, husband had to tread extremely carefully given that our client, the wife, had the original video footage in her possession and could hand it to the Dubai authorities at any time.
Divorce went through in England in the end (both parties English and domiciled here) but wife had amazing leverage throughout the case and got a great financial outcome as a result. Big mistake by the husband and I suspect that the allure and excitement of the adultery and recording of it continues to haunt him to this day!
I suspect that I am unlikely to have evidence of adultery like that in another case.
madmatteo said:
theboss said:
Exactly.
It also begs the question of how one would actually prove it if it came to a dispute. Does the court need video footage of the act?
This is a good question and, put simply, that is probably what it would take if the other spouse will not admit it. I have been in the family law and divorce game for some time now and I have only ever had one case where we actually had video evidence of the adultery. It also begs the question of how one would actually prove it if it came to a dispute. Does the court need video footage of the act?
In that case, the husband had actually filmed himself in the family home each time with these random women. What made it even more controversial was that the parties lived in Dubai where adultery is a massive no no.
As such, husband had to tread extremely carefully given that our client, the wife, had the original video footage in her possession and could hand it to the Dubai authorities at any time.
Divorce went through in England in the end (both parties English and domiciled here) but wife had amazing leverage throughout the case and got a great financial outcome as a result. Big mistake by the husband and I suspect that the allure and excitement of the adultery and recording of it continues to haunt him to this day!
I suspect that I am unlikely to have evidence of adultery like that in another case.
theboss said:
It just seems a bit archaic that one might need to rely on the burden of proof hence the more favourable (and sensible) unreasonable behaviour path and the desire to reform the process. In the unusual case you cite it was clear cut but these days I imagine a lot of people would be wary of producing any digital evidence given that they might have committed an offence in obtaining it or storing it.
Agreed, it is archaic but it remains all we have to work with right now. The answer is, and has been for some time, to make allegations of adultery in a behaviour petition rather than in an adultery petition. This then requires no admission from the other party. In fact, they can completely deny it and it should not prevent the matter proceeding through court.Ultimately, when no fault divorce finally goes live next April, most of this will fall away since the advice will almost certainly be to divorce on the basis of "no fault" unless circumstances are exceptional. It will certainly make the start of any divorce matters I deal with a little easier since far too much time (and money) is spent dealing with the basis for the divorce despite it making no meaningful difference on the outcome of any associated financial or children matters.
hyphen said:
There isn't a extradition agreement between Dubai and UK, and if he has left and returned to the UK then does it matter? Would Dubai even care about someone who has left.
That's true. However, Dubai does not usually deal with the divorces of ex-pats so most deal with them in their home countries even when they live and work in Dubai or elsewhere in the UAE. Husband in my example was English and the divorce was issued here on the basis that he is legally domiciled here (albeit habitually resident in Dubai).Ultimately, he has never returned to England and continued living and working in Dubai, as did his wife. As such, he remained at risk of wife using evidence against him with the Dubai authorities if he failed to play ball.
My understanding is that Dubai may be relaxing its laws on family matters so some of the divorces may begin to happen there but, as it stands, most UK citizens will likely continue to come back to the UK for their divorce and financial matters.
Oldred_V8S said:
QBee said:
We agreed everything at the time (early 2002) and I waited until over 5 years had passed (2007) and then asked her for a divorce so that I could remarry.
Isn't that like winning the lottery and then giving it all back?One Christmas on my own was one too many.
I have found that if you have any sense, the kind of person you marry in your 50s is very different to the kind of person you marry at 22.
In simple terms, it's far more about personality second time around (let's face it, nobody would marry me for my looks).
So this time I managed not to marry an attractive blond haired control freak.
Instead I married a kind-hearted brown eyed girl who loves cooking and hates shopping.
Apart from the fact that she snores and farts (not usually both at the same time
), what's not to like?Her only failing is not liking the TVR, but she is fine about me going to track days etc in it with my friends.
Similar situation to a friend of mine. Wife didn’t work through choice, sponged considerably during marriage, pleaded poverty and rinsed my mate in the divorce.
The kicker was, pretty much as soon as everyone was finalised she was shacked up with a wealthy older gent.
Some decent representation may save you some money, but no guarantee.
The kicker was, pretty much as soon as everyone was finalised she was shacked up with a wealthy older gent.
Some decent representation may save you some money, but no guarantee.
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