Removing/cutting bike from private garden fence...
Discussion
IroningMan said:
eharding said:
ApexCult said:
eharding said:
1) Buy the cheapest, most knackered bicycle you can find
2) Set about it with the heaviest implement you have available, smashing to complete buggery. Make sure the wheels are completely shagged.
3) Slash the saddle, and then set fire to it.
4) Smear the frame liberally with whatever domestic pet excrement you have to hand.
5) Chain your pride and joy discreetly at the end of the fence.
6) Observe how many people are now keen on chaining their own bicycles to your fence.
Sorry, that's outside the design brief of aiming for zero bicycles. (Even if it's my of my own creation!)2) Set about it with the heaviest implement you have available, smashing to complete buggery. Make sure the wheels are completely shagged.
3) Slash the saddle, and then set fire to it.
4) Smear the frame liberally with whatever domestic pet excrement you have to hand.
5) Chain your pride and joy discreetly at the end of the fence.
6) Observe how many people are now keen on chaining their own bicycles to your fence.
Even just an occasional appearance of your fly-blown, crap-laden carcass of a dead bicycle will put them off. They won't like coming back to collect their bikes and find your unholy stinking abomination chained directly next to it. It's a bit like a scarecrow, except for cyclists. A scareslow, as it were. You could call it Wurzel Peddleage.
Edited by eharding on Monday 28th June 22:41
But I also wouldn't put up sign saying, don't lock your bike here as there might be thieves about, that would make me want to lock it to the fence even more securely.
Bigends said:
OverSteery said:
trickywoo said:
If people keep coming back to flat tyres they will soon get the message.
I don’t think letting air out of the valve is criminal.
You may think that - but I believe it is.I don’t think letting air out of the valve is criminal.
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1988/52/secti...
Edited by OverSteery on Thursday 24th June 20:02
Edited by Gareth79 on Wednesday 30th June 11:59
eharding said:
ApexCult said:
eharding said:
1) Buy the cheapest, most knackered bicycle you can find
2) Set about it with the heaviest implement you have available, smashing to complete buggery. Make sure the wheels are completely shagged.
3) Slash the saddle, and then set fire to it.
4) Smear the frame liberally with whatever domestic pet excrement you have to hand.
5) Chain your pride and joy discreetly at the end of the fence.
6) Observe how many people are now keen on chaining their own bicycles to your fence.
Sorry, that's outside the design brief of aiming for zero bicycles. (Even if it's my of my own creation!)2) Set about it with the heaviest implement you have available, smashing to complete buggery. Make sure the wheels are completely shagged.
3) Slash the saddle, and then set fire to it.
4) Smear the frame liberally with whatever domestic pet excrement you have to hand.
5) Chain your pride and joy discreetly at the end of the fence.
6) Observe how many people are now keen on chaining their own bicycles to your fence.
Even just an occasional appearance of your fly-blown, crap-laden carcass of a dead bicycle will put them off. They won't like coming back to collect their bikes and find your unholy stinking abomination chained directly next to it. It's a bit like a scarecrow, except for cyclists. A scareslow, as it were. You could call it Wurzel Peddleage.
Edited by eharding on Monday 28th June 22:41
'Pedophile Bike Parking Only'
If anyone complains just pretend you thought a pedophile was someone who really liked pedal bikes and you were just doing your bit for the environment.
Years ago in West Hampstead someone put up a sign in a playground warning of teenage pedophiles using the park at night. The problem of teenagers drinking and shouting in the playground at night halted within days.
markjmd said:
A. Some sort of honesty box, inviting cash contributions from cycle-parkers for the painting and general upkeep of the fence (you could even add a digital option in the form of a gofundme page or whatever, if you're feeling creative).
or
Even better a QR tag to make a donation if you have bloody obvious CCTV. People will chain their bikes up, much like dropped kerbs with no wardens they get parked in front, so why not turn it around a make a bit of cash?or
NewBod said:
IroningMan said:
Piginapoke said:
Have you tried not caring?
So far the OP hasn't even tried asking people not to do it...OP clearly hates cyclists - one probably delayed his progress to the next set of traffic lights by 2 seconds once and he is now desperate for revenge as he can't ever get those precious 2 seconds back ...
jesusbuiltmycar said:
NewBod said:
IroningMan said:
Piginapoke said:
Have you tried not caring?
So far the OP hasn't even tried asking people not to do it...OP clearly hates cyclists - one probably delayed his progress to the next set of traffic lights by 2 seconds once and he is now desperate for revenge as he can't ever get those precious 2 seconds back ...
OP - has the dreaded bike locking happened yet?
Just put a sign above the bikes "Bikes, £1,000 each" they all disappear when the scrotes pass by...
One of the towns a mate lives in you can't leave a bike chained to a fence, anything that can be unbolted will be removed from the bike, the last time I visited there were a few random bike frames chained to fences, the owners obviously didn't bother unlocking to retrieve the frame.
One of the towns a mate lives in you can't leave a bike chained to a fence, anything that can be unbolted will be removed from the bike, the last time I visited there were a few random bike frames chained to fences, the owners obviously didn't bother unlocking to retrieve the frame.
DonkeyApple said:
'Pedophile Bike Parking Only'
If anyone complains just pretend you thought a pedophile was someone who really liked pedal bikes and you were just doing your bit for the environment.
Wouldn't that only work in the US? Surely most Brits would think pedophile was someone who really liked pedal bikes whereas paedophiles... If anyone complains just pretend you thought a pedophile was someone who really liked pedal bikes and you were just doing your bit for the environment.
321boost said:
not sure why i get the feeling some posters seem to have a problem with the OP having a problem with someone using THEIR fence. 
They are probably cyclists who chain their bikes to some random privately owned fence and can't use their brain to actually think it could be a problem. Edited by Tomo1971 on Saturday 3rd July 08:42
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