Anyone got into a fight?

[arun1uk]

rallye101 said:

Posting this as I'm rather shocked by this afternoon...just had some poor nutter trying to play " chicken" while i was trying to pull into my drive just now..
After shouting at him he made a bee line for me and as soon as I've got out of my car he came onto my drive he went mental....
Sorry but his knackers ended up in his mouth and he was puking while the police turned up....this could have been nasty if my other half had to put up with this nut nut.... turns out he just robbed my neighbours....

I live on the next road, so this pretty worrying! Hope everything sorted out ok

[GiantCardboardPlato]

ZedLeg said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

Ok you’ve all convinced me, I’m gonna start a fight at work today over people not replacing paper in the photocopier. I just wanted to deal with this problem like a man. Got any tips to make sure I prevail?

Straight in with a full pack of paper over the dome, as they're reacting to that hoof them in the balls and run away.

ok thanks. I do get the warnings about not knowing whether people are going to be equipped with sharpened biros, compasses, or paperclip daggers. But I just can't walk by something like this.

[ZedLeg]

The pack of paper can double as a shield to fend off the pointy sticks.

[csd19]

GiantCardboardPlato said:

ZedLeg said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

Ok you’ve all convinced me, I’m gonna start a fight at work today over people not replacing paper in the photocopier. I just wanted to deal with this problem like a man. Got any tips to make sure I prevail?

Straight in with a full pack of paper over the dome, as they're reacting to that hoof them in the balls and run away.

ok thanks. I do get the warnings about not knowing whether people are going to be equipped with sharpened biros, compasses, or paperclip daggers. But I just can't walk by something like this.

Are you talking about the full box of paper or a single ream?

Hit them with the ream but edge on, not large flat side.

[matchmaker]

csd19 said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

ZedLeg said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

Ok you’ve all convinced me, I’m gonna start a fight at work today over people not replacing paper in the photocopier. I just wanted to deal with this problem like a man. Got any tips to make sure I prevail?

Straight in with a full pack of paper over the dome, as they're reacting to that hoof them in the balls and run away.

ok thanks. I do get the warnings about not knowing whether people are going to be equipped with sharpened biros, compasses, or paperclip daggers. But I just can't walk by something like this.

Are you talking about the full box of paper or a single ream?

Hit them with the ream but edge on, not large flat side.

If you want to be extra 'ard use A3 paper instead of A4. That'll learn them!

[sinbaddio]

matchmaker said:

csd19 said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

ZedLeg said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

Ok you’ve all convinced me, I’m gonna start a fight at work today over people not replacing paper in the photocopier. I just wanted to deal with this problem like a man. Got any tips to make sure I prevail?

Straight in with a full pack of paper over the dome, as they're reacting to that hoof them in the balls and run away.

ok thanks. I do get the warnings about not knowing whether people are going to be equipped with sharpened biros, compasses, or paperclip daggers. But I just can't walk by something like this.

Are you talking about the full box of paper or a single ream?

Hit them with the ream but edge on, not large flat side.

If you want to be extra 'ard use A3 paper instead of A4. That'll learn them!

Bide your time 'till the toner cartridge needs replacing and go straight in with that. The cloud of black dust that covers them should stun for a short period, whilst you finish off with the ream of A4.

[timetex]

Magnum 475 said:

Any martial arts instructor will tell you: “The best fight is the one you don’t have.”

Damn right - however, it made the World Judo Championship 2022 rather boring, as everyone stood around refusing to get on the mat. In the end, they gave the gold medal to a random spectator, who never even had any intention of fighting.

[Missy Charm]

matchmaker said:

I'm 65 and never been in one and hope never to be. You just can't tell what the other person might be carrying and be willing to use. Tale from many years ago. A mate called "Colin" was making his way home from his "club" in Glasgow to East Kilbride. Mid week, fairly late train and pretty empty in the carriage apart from Colin and a teenage lass at the other end.

At an intermediate station three neds got on - obviously drunk or high on something. They immediately noticed the girl and started to harrass her. It looked like it might turn out nasty, so Colin decided to intervene and asked the neds to leave the lass alone. The immediate reaction was for one of them to pull out a big knife and threaten Colin.

The "club" Colin was coming home from was a gun club. The neds immediately lost interest when confronted with a Colt .45 automatic pistol and left at the next station. The lass was very grateful and promised to keep the matter quiet!

You mean Colin was able to remove the pistol from its case, put it together, insert the rounds in the magazine, stick that in the gun, cock the thing and point it in the time it took the chav with the knife to cross the carriage? Impressive. What did the other two do?

[donkmeister]

sinbaddio said:

matchmaker said:

csd19 said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

ZedLeg said:

GiantCardboardPlato said:

Ok you’ve all convinced me, I’m gonna start a fight at work today over people not replacing paper in the photocopier. I just wanted to deal with this problem like a man. Got any tips to make sure I prevail?

Straight in with a full pack of paper over the dome, as they're reacting to that hoof them in the balls and run away.

ok thanks. I do get the warnings about not knowing whether people are going to be equipped with sharpened biros, compasses, or paperclip daggers. But I just can't walk by something like this.

Are you talking about the full box of paper or a single ream?

Hit them with the ream but edge on, not large flat side.

If you want to be extra 'ard use A3 paper instead of A4. That'll learn them!

Bide your time 'till the toner cartridge needs replacing and go straight in with that. The cloud of black dust that covers them should stun for a short period, whilst you finish off with the ream of A4.

If that fails, dominate the kitchen area. The lack of caffeine and sustenance will quickly take its toll on your quarry, his tiredness will ensure an easy KO.

[matchmaker]

Missy Charm said:

matchmaker said:

I'm 65 and never been in one and hope never to be. You just can't tell what the other person might be carrying and be willing to use. Tale from many years ago. A mate called "Colin" was making his way home from his "club" in Glasgow to East Kilbride. Mid week, fairly late train and pretty empty in the carriage apart from Colin and a teenage lass at the other end.

At an intermediate station three neds got on - obviously drunk or high on something. They immediately noticed the girl and started to harrass her. It looked like it might turn out nasty, so Colin decided to intervene and asked the neds to leave the lass alone. The immediate reaction was for one of them to pull out a big knife and threaten Colin.

The "club" Colin was coming home from was a gun club. The neds immediately lost interest when confronted with a Colt .45 automatic pistol and left at the next station. The lass was very grateful and promised to keep the matter quiet!

You mean Colin was able to remove the pistol from its case, put it together, insert the rounds in the magazine, stick that in the gun, cock the thing and point it in the time it took the chav with the knife to cross the carriage? Impressive. What did the other two do?

I never said he had it disassembled in the case...

[donkmeister]

matchmaker said:

Missy Charm said:

matchmaker said:

I'm 65 and never been in one and hope never to be. You just can't tell what the other person might be carrying and be willing to use. Tale from many years ago. A mate called "Colin" was making his way home from his "club" in Glasgow to East Kilbride. Mid week, fairly late train and pretty empty in the carriage apart from Colin and a teenage lass at the other end.

At an intermediate station three neds got on - obviously drunk or high on something. They immediately noticed the girl and started to harrass her. It looked like it might turn out nasty, so Colin decided to intervene and asked the neds to leave the lass alone. The immediate reaction was for one of them to pull out a big knife and threaten Colin.

The "club" Colin was coming home from was a gun club. The neds immediately lost interest when confronted with a Colt .45 automatic pistol and left at the next station. The lass was very grateful and promised to keep the matter quiet!

You mean Colin was able to remove the pistol from its case, put it together, insert the rounds in the magazine, stick that in the gun, cock the thing and point it in the time it took the chav with the knife to cross the carriage? Impressive. What did the other two do?

I never said he had it disassembled in the case...

What firearms licence holders are supposed to do, and what they do do are very different things in my limited experience.

Citation: had a loaded shotgun pointed at me by a drunk man whose daughter I was banging. I also went to his rifle range a few times and it was full of drunk morons showing off.

[knk]

matchmaker said:

I'm 65 and never been in one and hope never to be. You just can't tell what the other person might be carrying and be willing to use. Tale from many years ago. A mate called "Colin" was making his way home from his "club" in Glasgow to East Kilbride. Mid week, fairly late train and pretty empty in the carriage apart from Colin and a teenage lass at the other end.

At an intermediate station three neds got on - obviously drunk or high on something. They immediately noticed the girl and started to harrass her. It looked like it might turn out nasty, so Colin decided to intervene and asked the neds to leave the lass alone. The immediate reaction was for one of them to pull out a big knife and threaten Colin.

The "club" Colin was coming home from was a gun club. The neds immediately lost interest when confronted with a Colt .45 automatic pistol and left at the next station. The lass was very grateful and promised to keep the matter quiet!

Of all the things that never happened this never happened the most.

[matchmaker]

knk said:

matchmaker said:

I'm 65 and never been in one and hope never to be. You just can't tell what the other person might be carrying and be willing to use. Tale from many years ago. A mate called "Colin" was making his way home from his "club" in Glasgow to East Kilbride. Mid week, fairly late train and pretty empty in the carriage apart from Colin and a teenage lass at the other end.

At an intermediate station three neds got on - obviously drunk or high on something. They immediately noticed the girl and started to harrass her. It looked like it might turn out nasty, so Colin decided to intervene and asked the neds to leave the lass alone. The immediate reaction was for one of them to pull out a big knife and threaten Colin.

The "club" Colin was coming home from was a gun club. The neds immediately lost interest when confronted with a Colt .45 automatic pistol and left at the next station. The lass was very grateful and promised to keep the matter quiet!

Of all the things that never happened this never happened the most.

[Missy Charm]

matchmaker said:

Missy Charm said:

matchmaker said:

I'm 65 and never been in one and hope never to be. You just can't tell what the other person might be carrying and be willing to use. Tale from many years ago. A mate called "Colin" was making his way home from his "club" in Glasgow to East Kilbride. Mid week, fairly late train and pretty empty in the carriage apart from Colin and a teenage lass at the other end.

At an intermediate station three neds got on - obviously drunk or high on something. They immediately noticed the girl and started to harrass her. It looked like it might turn out nasty, so Colin decided to intervene and asked the neds to leave the lass alone. The immediate reaction was for one of them to pull out a big knife and threaten Colin.

The "club" Colin was coming home from was a gun club. The neds immediately lost interest when confronted with a Colt .45 automatic pistol and left at the next station. The lass was very grateful and promised to keep the matter quiet!

You mean Colin was able to remove the pistol from its case, put it together, insert the rounds in the magazine, stick that in the gun, cock the thing and point it in the time it took the chav with the knife to cross the carriage? Impressive. What did the other two do?

I never said he had it disassembled in the case...

Where did he have it, then? It's also quite the coincidence that none of the other passengers on the 'pretty empty' train thought to pull the communication cord.

[ingenieur]

I had a mate who started a road rage incident with another bloke and got battered.

My chum who I had known from school and into adulthood was on the large side and didn't have the filter most people have for avoiding physical conflict so would get into pushing and slapping matches with people from time to time.

This event started just before a dual carriageway when some chap pulled out of a side road into the traffic in an inconsiderate sort of fashion. There was then a bit of an aggressive drive up the dual carriageway to the traffic lights wenceupon my buddy (we were actually in separate cars) got out of his car and lolloped his hefty frame up to the car of the driver he felt had wronged him.

The other guy raised his electric window, my mate tried the door handle but the car was locked. So my mate heads back to his car but as he's walking away it's clear some force is acting on him which causes him to turn around and lollop back and tap aggressively on the guys window.

He does this a couple of times and the other driver opens the door and gets out.

There's a bit of pushing and shoving but then the fists come out and the other driver batters him until he falls over and gives up. Blood spirting. Ambulance called.

Clearly the other guy knew how to fight and also had the sense not to get involved until he could no longer help himself. It lasted about 30 seconds. But I would say the lesson lasted a lifetime.

[Glenn63]

Did you mate learn from his beating? This is what the other poster meant by standing up against these people, hopefully next time you mate will think twice about getting all enraged.
Most people act like this due to zero comeback on themselves which makes them feel extra tough so they do it more and more as no one will call them out on their actions.

[ingenieur]

Glenn63 said:

Did you mate learn from his beating? This is what the other poster meant by standing up against these people, hopefully next time you mate will think twice about getting all enraged.
Most people act like this due to zero comeback on themselves which makes them feel extra tough so they do it more and more as no one will call them out on their actions.

I would say so. If not the pain and having an overnight stay at the hospital then potentially the embarrassment of getting battered in front of an audience of people in the traffic queue being so keen to get something started in the first place.

[Glenn63]

ingenieur said:

Glenn63 said:

Did you mate learn from his beating? This is what the other poster meant by standing up against these people, hopefully next time you mate will think twice about getting all enraged.
Most people act like this due to zero comeback on themselves which makes them feel extra tough so they do it more and more as no one will call them out on their actions.

I would say so. If not the pain and having an overnight stay at the hospital then potentially the embarrassment of getting battered in front of an audience of people in the traffic queue being so keen to get something started in the first place.

There was a great video from a dash cam in queue of traffic where a man steams over to hgv all aggressive with his hard man walk, opens the truck door to receive a boot to face. Quickly walks back to his car, I imagine the embarrassment was worse than the boot!

[anonymous-user]

Glenn63 said:

There was a great video from a dash cam in queue of traffic where a man steams over to hgv all aggressive with his hard man walk, opens the truck door to receive a boot to face. Quickly walks back to his car, I imagine the embarrassment was worse than the boot!

I saw a funny dash cam video a few months ago, where some absolute chav starts giving another driver a load of abuse out of the window, then gets out and strides towards them in stationary city traffic acting hard, so the victim, who is in a really small car like Saxo or Hyundai i10 or something like that, gets out as well, and he is absolutely bloody massive Looks like an olympic rower or something, but you just couldn't tell how big he was at all sat inside his car. The chav quickly changes strategy and hurls abuse from a distance before retreating

[ILikeCake]

Well, since this thread is a carbon copy of one from a couple of years ago... I'll copy paste mine...

1984.

Moved to a new town in the states and started a new school. Met a girl at a beach party and was going fine until her ex boyfriend turned up and started hassling her. I stepped in, managed to get one sucker punch in but turned out he knew karate and he battered me.

That kicked off weeks of him and his gang bullying me, including pushing me off my bike. I got my revenge at a fancy dress dance by soaking him with a hose and legging it. Only him and his gang caught up to me by my apartment block and knocking me senseless. Fortunately the japanese janitor stepped in and saw them off.

I then struck up a friendship with the janitor and he started teaching me karate. Ultimately I challenged the bully to compete in a karate tournament. We met in the final, where despite being injured in a previous round I managed to win.

The bd has recently moved back into town and hasn't changed a bit.