Throwing in the towel
Discussion
funkyrobot said:
Doc visit done. I scored rather highly on the mental health check. So highly in fact that the doctor wants to put me on anti depressants and sleeping tablets. I have refused, for now, and I'm being reviewed in a few weeks.
Sick note sent to manager.
Just have to finalise the resignation stuff now.
I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you approach your Dr about this. I went to my Dr's about 4 months ago for help as I am struggling with the day to day and my job but all he did was give me a leaflet with a phone number on it, he didn't do any official assessment of me and I left the appt (when he said he had basically run out of appt time to see me) feeling a bit of a time waster and just carried on as I was . I never did call that number, I thought about it but haven't been able to...Sick note sent to manager.
Just have to finalise the resignation stuff now.
bexVN said:
I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you approach your Dr about this. I went to my Dr's about 4 months ago for help as I am struggling with the day to day and my job but all he did was give me a leaflet with a phone number on it, he didn't do any official assessment of me and I left the appt (when he said he had basically run out of appt time to see me) feeling a bit of a time waster and just carried on as I was . I never did call that number, I thought about it but haven't been able to...
It sounds like your doc fobbed you off - go back and ask to see a different one if you're not happy with the one you saw. When I was in this situation many years ago I explained my situation, how it was affecting me and the 'dark thoughts' I'd had - my GP was amazing. I filled out an assessment (as funkyrobot mentioned) and scored fairly high too. I was offered phone-based counselling (Time to Talk) which I didn't get on with but I went on Citalopram for a year. It really helped me to level off and handle my situation. I came off them slowly and am pleased to say that things have been pretty great ever since so it does get better.It actually took me a long time to realise that I was living with depression - I confided in a friend what was going on and he said, "That sounds exactly like depression - ask me how I know... And get an appointment with your GP booked tomorrow." Turns out he's lived with it long-term and knew the symptoms. If I'm honest I had to overcome the 'male ego' thing a little - it took a lot to admit I wasn't coping. My friend really helped me more than he'll ever really know, he said something that's stuck with me since; your body has two 'gauges', a physical health and a mental health one. We don't ignore the physical one - we take medicines, we seek expert help, we operate, fix and repair physical issues. We tend to ignore the mental health gauge - it can't be seen, it can't really be measured, but it's crucial to everything else and there's no shame in treating depression the same way we would any physical illness - medication can help restore the chemical balance that's causing the issue and help you work though things.
Go back and push your doctor's surgery for someone to take you seriously and kudos to you (and funkyrobot) for seeking help.
Thank you for your reply Funk (and apologies OP for thread hijack!) I will take all that on board.
I know I have a lot of the warning signs for depression, I have struggled to admit that I may need external help, I don't find it easy to open up and when I finally did it didn't go as well as I had hoped. I will attempt to try again.
OP hope the resignation letter goes well, all looking good from here on in.
I know I have a lot of the warning signs for depression, I have struggled to admit that I may need external help, I don't find it easy to open up and when I finally did it didn't go as well as I had hoped. I will attempt to try again.
OP hope the resignation letter goes well, all looking good from here on in.
No worries. 
I can't really add more than Funk has. Go back and see someone else.
I was just thinking about how mental health has quite a stigma attached to it. It's something I guess that people find it hard to admit they have issues with. Especially the ego thing.
I hope the next person you see takes the time to talk to you about it properly. The chap I saw this morning was very good and gave me a lot time. You shouldnt be in and out and fobbed off.
I can't really add more than Funk has. Go back and see someone else.
I was just thinking about how mental health has quite a stigma attached to it. It's something I guess that people find it hard to admit they have issues with. Especially the ego thing.
I hope the next person you see takes the time to talk to you about it properly. The chap I saw this morning was very good and gave me a lot time. You shouldnt be in and out and fobbed off.
Another one cheering you on here.
This all is very familiar.
I left at the end of April with nothing to go to, my health and happiness had been deteriorating for quite a while which I had been putting down to stress/depression & it had got to the point I was struggling to drag myself out of bed at least 6 days a week, I had requested and had accepted a flexible working agreement going down to 4 days a week with the respective drop in hours & pay in the early part of last year but it just felt like I was having to cover the same amount of work (plus some) in the reduced time.
Saw the Dr at the start of April barely able to speak about how I was feeling without falling apart but as others have mentioned no formal assessment, but suggestion of pills either or mention of possible signing off (though was wary due to possible opinions by future employers), Dr just made the comment that I should try and reduce my stressors.
I'm still struggling with fatigue but that's related to thyroid issues i've now found out I have (likely were being masked & fed by the stress/depression most of this time) but overall i'm so much better than I was & feeling far happier in myself. I've now decided to go back and study part time from September so am looking for something part time to fit around that but nothing is cropping up yet that fits when i'm available.
Wishing you an amazing summer filled with lots of fun and outings with your family & best wishes to everyone else who has or is trying to take the step
This all is very familiar.
I left at the end of April with nothing to go to, my health and happiness had been deteriorating for quite a while which I had been putting down to stress/depression & it had got to the point I was struggling to drag myself out of bed at least 6 days a week, I had requested and had accepted a flexible working agreement going down to 4 days a week with the respective drop in hours & pay in the early part of last year but it just felt like I was having to cover the same amount of work (plus some) in the reduced time.
Saw the Dr at the start of April barely able to speak about how I was feeling without falling apart but as others have mentioned no formal assessment, but suggestion of pills either or mention of possible signing off (though was wary due to possible opinions by future employers), Dr just made the comment that I should try and reduce my stressors.
I'm still struggling with fatigue but that's related to thyroid issues i've now found out I have (likely were being masked & fed by the stress/depression most of this time) but overall i'm so much better than I was & feeling far happier in myself. I've now decided to go back and study part time from September so am looking for something part time to fit around that but nothing is cropping up yet that fits when i'm available.
Wishing you an amazing summer filled with lots of fun and outings with your family & best wishes to everyone else who has or is trying to take the step
Thanks. I hope you get better soon and everything works out ok.
Personally, I have been a lot happier since not going back. I sorted everything last week and haven't heard anything back at all. Just a grumpy 'thanks for the sick note' email. My wife kindly took my the laptop back to them. Nothing more since though.
On another note (and this isn't my concern now), but I simply need to share something that has recently happened at the old job. I didn't think it could get any worse. However, my old team are being told off for having no work to do. Yes, you heard that right. If the dev team are late, or there are loads of faults (which is common), or there is simply nothing to do (due to no work being generated by the business), my team are getting an arse kicking. Apparently, a new procedure was put in place stating that if 'general' duties are logged (the sort of thing you do when you aren't busy), you will be getting a telling off. Wow!
Personally, I have been a lot happier since not going back. I sorted everything last week and haven't heard anything back at all. Just a grumpy 'thanks for the sick note' email. My wife kindly took my the laptop back to them. Nothing more since though.
On another note (and this isn't my concern now), but I simply need to share something that has recently happened at the old job. I didn't think it could get any worse. However, my old team are being told off for having no work to do. Yes, you heard that right. If the dev team are late, or there are loads of faults (which is common), or there is simply nothing to do (due to no work being generated by the business), my team are getting an arse kicking. Apparently, a new procedure was put in place stating that if 'general' duties are logged (the sort of thing you do when you aren't busy), you will be getting a telling off. Wow!
Edited by funkyrobot on Thursday 12th July 17:07
Edited by funkyrobot on Thursday 12th July 17:08
Just a quick update. Still haven't heard anything.
Everything was sorted (well, I think it was) nearly two weeks ago and I have had no communication whatsoever from work regarding leaving etc.
I thought I would have had something by now?
Anyhow, enjoying the time off. Initial sick note finishes Thursday and I have another doc appointment booked for that morning.
Edited to add - re my old sick note. I've just noticed that I was only supposed to give my employer a copy. They demanded the original. Oh well, just another thing they have done wrong.
Everything was sorted (well, I think it was) nearly two weeks ago and I have had no communication whatsoever from work regarding leaving etc.
I thought I would have had something by now?
Anyhow, enjoying the time off. Initial sick note finishes Thursday and I have another doc appointment booked for that morning.
Edited to add - re my old sick note. I've just noticed that I was only supposed to give my employer a copy. They demanded the original. Oh well, just another thing they have done wrong.
Edited by funkyrobot on Tuesday 17th July 10:21
swerni said:
I left my place at the end of March and other than April when it didn't stop raining it's been awesome.
Some guilt / stressful moments about not working but, 95% good.
I guess September I'll rejoin the workforce, but it's been an epic summer.
We're here for a good time not a long time !
I had my first guilt moment the other day as this will be the first time I've had to pay a mortgage payment out of savings. Then I remembered stuff like being followed to the toilet, emails bSome guilt / stressful moments about not working but, 95% good.
I guess September I'll rejoin the workforce, but it's been an epic summer.
We're here for a good time not a long time !
king me for something I could no nothing about and then the thought of going back there. The guilt soon went. 
garyhun said:
Minemapper said:
Sounds like a business that is circling the drain to me, and the management aren't taking responsibility for it. Well done for getting out while you could.
Sounds about right. I’d be surprised if the other members of staff are not looking at alternatives right now.
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