Anyone in Doha?
Discussion
Been asked if I’ll take a position in Doha, most likely a 3 year assignment.
For background, I’ve worked overseas most of my career but been back in the uk a couple of years now. I’m mostly enjoying being back in the uk but just got divorced which is costing me handsomely.
To stay in the uk would probably mean changing industry and taking a pay cut but 3 years in Doha would go a long way to wiping out the divorce bill and getting me back to where I was pre-divorce.
Caveat is that my son is 10 so it would limit the time I would see him if I was over there. The holiday allowance is pretty poor.
Part of me says just do it, the financial freedom is worth it and my son has been used to me working away. The other part has been enjoying regular weekends and holidays with him.
Head v heart. What say the masses?
For background, I’ve worked overseas most of my career but been back in the uk a couple of years now. I’m mostly enjoying being back in the uk but just got divorced which is costing me handsomely.
To stay in the uk would probably mean changing industry and taking a pay cut but 3 years in Doha would go a long way to wiping out the divorce bill and getting me back to where I was pre-divorce.
Caveat is that my son is 10 so it would limit the time I would see him if I was over there. The holiday allowance is pretty poor.
Part of me says just do it, the financial freedom is worth it and my son has been used to me working away. The other part has been enjoying regular weekends and holidays with him.
Head v heart. What say the masses?
9-12yrs are a hugely formative period for boys, and are perhaps the time when you have the greatest input. By the time they’re in their teens they will know better...
I largely missed my boys early years through work, until an unexpected change gave me the opportunity to be a Dad not just a father. I think it’s too late when they are well into their teens.
I wouldn’t change this for all the money in the world! On the school run today my 12yo asked me which is more important - honesty or fairness. Should he be totally honest even if it led directly to an outcome that was manifestly unfair? I am so pleased to be able to have discussions like this with him. That opportunity comes from proximity and time spent together because children are not always receptive as we all know!
I largely missed my boys early years through work, until an unexpected change gave me the opportunity to be a Dad not just a father. I think it’s too late when they are well into their teens.
I wouldn’t change this for all the money in the world! On the school run today my 12yo asked me which is more important - honesty or fairness. Should he be totally honest even if it led directly to an outcome that was manifestly unfair? I am so pleased to be able to have discussions like this with him. That opportunity comes from proximity and time spent together because children are not always receptive as we all know!
Dedders said:
Heart every time. No amount of money would be worth missing my children growing up.
Agreed. I was in a similar position 10 years ago (apart from the divorce). It was a role with Qatar Petroleum and the salary/lifestyle on offer was really good. However my wife was really not keen on upping sticks and moving to Qatar. I turned it down in the end and, looking back, i think it was the right decision. (or maybe I've just convinced myself of that
)I was in this position this time last year.
I moved to Doha in January (this Year), my family -wife and daughter stayed in the UK with the plan to move over in the summer when school finished. My daughter is 14 and has started her GCSE's. They came over twice, and I went home a few times during that period, however when it came to the move over 'for good' there were too many reservations about my daughters education and what my wife would do- I've yet to meet an Uber driver in Doha who hasn't got an MBA..
I came back in July as I had no interest in being a part time dad and husband. Plenty of expat colleagues did, and enjoyed it (maybe some too much with the large Filipino contingent there), but on the whole it wasn't for me.
Plenty of racism there, plus points are cheap petrol and cheap V8's, but you'll spend time in your expat bubble. I've done it, wouldn't do it again (and I've worked in Australia and Hong Kong previously).
I moved to Doha in January (this Year), my family -wife and daughter stayed in the UK with the plan to move over in the summer when school finished. My daughter is 14 and has started her GCSE's. They came over twice, and I went home a few times during that period, however when it came to the move over 'for good' there were too many reservations about my daughters education and what my wife would do- I've yet to meet an Uber driver in Doha who hasn't got an MBA..
I came back in July as I had no interest in being a part time dad and husband. Plenty of expat colleagues did, and enjoyed it (maybe some too much with the large Filipino contingent there), but on the whole it wasn't for me.
Plenty of racism there, plus points are cheap petrol and cheap V8's, but you'll spend time in your expat bubble. I've done it, wouldn't do it again (and I've worked in Australia and Hong Kong previously).
Didn’t mean to post and leave 😁 It’s O&G for whoever asked.
To be fair, he’s used to me working all over. I’ve previously been in Middle East and Africa (mostly rotation but also living). Even though I’m in UK now I’m 350miles away from him and driving 1000 miles a week to try and make sure I see him regularly. Once the divorce finally goes through that would be down to alternate weekends and some school holidays.
I asked him tonight what he thought and his first comment was ‘would I need jabs again to come and visit?’ (He hates jabs after getting some to come to Africa).
I’m personally in two minds. If I could negotiate some extra holiday time and him visiting it would probably work out as much as I’d get to see him in UK anyway.
To be fair, he’s used to me working all over. I’ve previously been in Middle East and Africa (mostly rotation but also living). Even though I’m in UK now I’m 350miles away from him and driving 1000 miles a week to try and make sure I see him regularly. Once the divorce finally goes through that would be down to alternate weekends and some school holidays.
I asked him tonight what he thought and his first comment was ‘would I need jabs again to come and visit?’ (He hates jabs after getting some to come to Africa).
I’m personally in two minds. If I could negotiate some extra holiday time and him visiting it would probably work out as much as I’d get to see him in UK anyway.
Contracts I’ve been contacted about recently have been 12/2 hitch’s. Not amazing but definitely lots of scope to sort out the bank balance being a 6 day working week and still gives a decent amount of time off throughout the year to take your lad on holiday.
If it’s based in Doha as opposed to Ras Laffan then personally I would go for it since your kid is used to the lifestyle already and will come and visit.
Get a 2 bed place in the pearl and you’re sorted. The Metro connects up Doha nicely now.
Just keep in mind that Qatar is rolling solo now and does not have any other connections to other ME regional airports so in that sense you’re stuck there for your 12 weeks.
If it’s based in Doha as opposed to Ras Laffan then personally I would go for it since your kid is used to the lifestyle already and will come and visit.
Get a 2 bed place in the pearl and you’re sorted. The Metro connects up Doha nicely now.
Just keep in mind that Qatar is rolling solo now and does not have any other connections to other ME regional airports so in that sense you’re stuck there for your 12 weeks.
I work O&G as well. I've had a similar decision to make. I went, but there is no right answer.
With any close relationship the decider to me is less about quantity more about quality. If you are travelling large distances to snatch a few hours in the UK you are not getting much quality. Will you use those couple of weeks to get some quality with your son? My son is in his early 20s now & I've spent less than half his life in the UK. What I've always done though is made sure I was about for the important things. Have I missed out on things probably... but I'd argue you will even if you stay in the Uk.
12/2 however is not a rotation I'd take (unless I was Breadvan in the Caribbean)!
With any close relationship the decider to me is less about quantity more about quality. If you are travelling large distances to snatch a few hours in the UK you are not getting much quality. Will you use those couple of weeks to get some quality with your son? My son is in his early 20s now & I've spent less than half his life in the UK. What I've always done though is made sure I was about for the important things. Have I missed out on things probably... but I'd argue you will even if you stay in the Uk.
12/2 however is not a rotation I'd take (unless I was Breadvan in the Caribbean)!
I’m currently on a 10 days on 4 days off in Europe. Which is ok. But I still miss my family.
I spent just over 5 years in Doha with my family but working in construction so home every night. I hated the place, racist, homophobic, misogynistic bullies who think they own you.
Upside was money and meeting some great people from all over the world.
I’ve spent too much time working long hours with travelling away from home and my biggest regret is missing so much of my children’s childhood.
Stay at home is my advice. Time is the only thing you can not buy.
I spent just over 5 years in Doha with my family but working in construction so home every night. I hated the place, racist, homophobic, misogynistic bullies who think they own you.
Upside was money and meeting some great people from all over the world.
I’ve spent too much time working long hours with travelling away from home and my biggest regret is missing so much of my children’s childhood.
Stay at home is my advice. Time is the only thing you can not buy.
lrdisco said:
I’m currently on a 10 days on 4 days off in Europe. Which is ok. But I still miss my family.
I spent just over 5 years in Doha with my family but working in construction so home every night. I hated the place, racist, homophobic, misogynistic bullies who think they own you.
Upside was money and meeting some great people from all over the world.
I’ve spent too much time working long hours with travelling away from home and my biggest regret is missing so much of my children’s childhood.
Stay at home is my advice. Time is the only thing you can not buy.
Sounds like quite a tainted, unbalanced generalised view imho. I could say the same for the Iraqis if I focused purely on the negatives however there are also lots of positives that include many smart, considerate, respectful and welcoming people. I spent just over 5 years in Doha with my family but working in construction so home every night. I hated the place, racist, homophobic, misogynistic bullies who think they own you.
Upside was money and meeting some great people from all over the world.
I’ve spent too much time working long hours with travelling away from home and my biggest regret is missing so much of my children’s childhood.
Stay at home is my advice. Time is the only thing you can not buy.
DoubleTime said:
Sounds like quite a tainted, unbalanced generalised view imho. I could say the same for the Iraqis if I focused purely on the negatives however there are also lots of positives that include many smart, considerate, respectful and welcoming people.
Ok positives on Doha- The standards of driving from the locals is awful. If your in an accident with one it’s always your fault as your in their country. You can not win a legal case against a local. As it’s their country.
16 children died in the Villagio fire disaster including triplets and the owner escaped justice because he had Wasta.
Workers from the Indian sub continent treat as slaves. Passports removed. Wages unpaid.
No free press. At all. See Doha news.
Homosexuality punishable with the death penalty.
Unmarried Pilipino house maids chained to the bed whilst giving birth for the crime of being unmarried.
Your employer having total control of you being able to leave the country.
The police beating workers for daring to go to Souk Wakif.
Bribery on an epic scale to have the right to host the World Cup.
Financing ISIS. Offering refuge to terrorists.
Hosting the Taliban offices. Fantastic.
Qatari man marries a British woman, she’s a citizen. Qatari woman marries a British man. He’s British eg unequal rights.
I could go on but on the whole Qatar is a dump. It has a very thin veneer of civilisation as has the whole of the Gulf. Scratch below and your back in the Middle Ages.
But I do agree that I met many great Iraqis and especially Iranians. Smart and cultured. Just keep away from Gulf Arabs.
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