Grievance

Author
Discussion

snobetter

1,161 posts

146 months

Tuesday 9th April
quotequote all
To add, on thinking about this, has it gone straight to grievance? You referred to a meeting, was this with the manager? This should have been dealt with by her manager, only then if they had grounds taken further? I struggle to see the grounds for a grievance if it followed process.

Jasandjules

69,913 posts

229 months

Tuesday 9th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
Grateful for any advice.
Who started it is the first question.

Your wife apologised so I assume she did.

What did the other person say when they "gave as good as they got".

Has anyone else in the area complained about the "dispute"?

Your wife "may" have a disability and/or certainly a reasonable excuse given her condition (she may have medication etc) which would also need to be taken into account..




Edited by Jasandjules on Tuesday 9th April 18:41

surveyor

Original Poster:

17,831 posts

184 months

Wednesday 10th April
quotequote all
Jasandjules said:
surveyor said:
Grateful for any advice.
Who started it is the first question.

Your wife apologised so I assume she did.

What did the other person say when they "gave as good as they got".

Has anyone else in the area complained about the "dispute"?

Your wife "may" have a disability and/or certainly a reasonable excuse given her condition (she may have medication etc) which would also need to be taken into account..




Edited by Jasandjules on Tuesday 9th April 18:41
1. Wife started it after colleague joined the conversation.
2. Wife cannot remember all the details. She lost it. She has been told by colleagues that she did not swear etc . Bolshy wife opinion was counted by Bolshy colleague
3. No one else has complained, albeit other members of the team have moved locations to avoid the colleague.



Forester1965

1,482 posts

3 months

Wednesday 10th April
quotequote all
Doesn't menopause (actual rather than chancing) increase the odds of a discrimination claim? In which case employer likely to run a mile from being too disciplinary?

Mont Blanc

593 posts

43 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
1. Wife started it after colleague joined the conversation.
2. Wife cannot remember all the details. She lost it. She has been told by colleagues that she did not swear etc . Bolshy wife opinion was counted by Bolshy colleague
3. No one else has complained, albeit other members of the team have moved locations to avoid the colleague.
Bit in bold.

This is quite common in my experience. The last person I dealt with genuinely couldn't remember saying some of the things she said (I believed her) and yet several witnesses confirmed independently exactly what she had said, almost identically to each other.

When people get angry, and have other issues going on, they can't often properly recall what happened.

surveyor

Original Poster:

17,831 posts

184 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
Bit of progress.

HR have declined to get involved, and say that this is a falling out between colleagues and should be dealt with informally.

Which is good news.

Bonefish Blues

26,759 posts

223 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
Good news indeed

Squadrone Rosso

2,754 posts

147 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
Nice result.

The menopause is tough. My wife is 50 and has been struggling for a while. Our GP was quite ineffective.

Here work provide BUPA so for a £150 excess, she say a dedicated Doctor who was brilliant. She’s really good now.

I hope she gets it sorted. It’s tough on husbands too. And certain colleagues lol

Jasandjules

69,913 posts

229 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
Bit of progress.

HR have declined to get involved, and say that this is a falling out between colleagues and should be dealt with informally.

Which is good news.
Good stuff, I wonder if others have noted that the other party gave as good as she got which rather nets off in the main.

geeks

9,193 posts

139 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
Bit of progress.

HR have declined to get involved, and say that this is a falling out between colleagues and should be dealt with informally.

Which is good news.
Common sense prevails! Buy your wife some flowers, make sure she gets some time to get her head on straight with HRT and stuff and then move on from it all smile

Mr.Chips

861 posts

214 months

Thursday 11th April
quotequote all
Pleased for you both OP. Good to see common sense prevailing.

Mont Blanc

593 posts

43 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
Good news! smile

Pit Pony

8,593 posts

121 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
Squadrone Rosso said:
Nice result.

The menopause is tough. My wife is 50 and has been struggling for a while. Our GP was quite ineffective.

Here work provide BUPA so for a £150 excess, she say a dedicated Doctor who was brilliant. She’s really good now.

I hope she gets it sorted. It’s tough on husbands too. And certain colleagues lol
It's hardly surprising that the menopause plus empty nest syndrome results in so many divorces. I'd like to see a new version of Shirley Valentine, written from the blokes point of view.
Most men, including me, are like a rabbit in the headlights.
Jim Royle in the Royle family was excellent "Don't worry Babs we'll get through it, don't you worry. Now. Do you want a cup of tea? Put the kettle on then"

AndyAudi

3,041 posts

222 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
Good news for her
(& good that the other “untouchable” one has had her wings clipped a bit & learned she won’t always get her own way!)

surveyor

Original Poster:

17,831 posts

184 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
Squadrone Rosso said:
Nice result.

The menopause is tough. My wife is 50 and has been struggling for a while. Our GP was quite ineffective.

Here work provide BUPA so for a £150 excess, she say a dedicated Doctor who was brilliant. She’s really good now.

I hope she gets it sorted. It’s tough on husbands too. And certain colleagues lol
My wife has been trying to see her GP all week. Tuesday morning she called then 67 times and did not get through.

She's now day 3 waiting for a call-back form the online form.

It is why she fell off HRT originally as the doctor wanted to see her before renewing the prescription but getting an appointment is next to impossible.

I guess private healthcare is an unlikely option given her NHS trust employer!

CHLEMCBH

177 posts

17 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
My wife has been trying to see her GP all week. Tuesday morning she called then 67 times and did not get through.
Unless the practice answering (?!!) system cuts her off after a certain wait period, she needs to wait on the line until answered. Hanging up calling again just gets you to the back of the queue.

surveyor

Original Poster:

17,831 posts

184 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
CHLEMCBH said:
surveyor said:
My wife has been trying to see her GP all week. Tuesday morning she called then 67 times and did not get through.
Unless the practice answering (?!!) system cuts her off after a certain wait period, she needs to wait on the line until answered. Hanging up calling again just gets you to the back of the queue.
Your assuming they have an answering system.. I believe it just shows engaged... Welcome to the North!

Sheepshanks

32,790 posts

119 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
My wife has been trying to see her GP all week. Tuesday morning she called then 67 times and did not get through.

She's now day 3 waiting for a call-back form the online form.

It is why she fell off HRT originally as the doctor wanted to see her before renewing the prescription but getting an appointment is next to impossible.

I guess private healthcare is an unlikely option given her NHS trust employer!
Could OT at work help?

Situation sounds odd though - it happens to both wife and i with blood pressure tablets. The receptionist starts off by saying we need to call at 8AM - my wife (she's better at these things than me) tells the receptionist to sort it out and she rings back with an appt. Perhaps our GP is better than I think they are!

CHLEMCBH

177 posts

17 months

Friday 12th April
quotequote all
surveyor said:
Your assuming they have an answering system.. I believe it just shows engaged... Welcome to the North!
Ah, OK. Ours has a queue and even tells you what number you are in it...usually when you ring at 0800 the number starts with a 2