How would you deal with this employee?

[Tyre Smoke]

I have an employee who is in his mid 50's and although a bit dour is reliable. I am generally happy with his work.

Last Friday he rang up to say that his father had had a stroke and he wouldn't be in to work that evening or Saturday night. His next shift starts in an hour (4pm Monday)and I have heard nothing from him.

He was asked on Friday to keep us posted as to what was going on. We are only a small company with less than 10 employees so cover is not always straight forward. His dad lives in Yorkshire and he in Devon. After tonight he is off until Wednesday and frankly I'm not expecting him to turn up. I have tried phoning both his home phone and mobile to no avail. I have absolutely no idea what is going on, when he will be back or how his father is (or dead!).

I need to get across to him (when we eventually speak) that I should really have been kept in the picture, even if he got a relative to ring and say he wouldn't be in until/will be off until.... But it's difficult because I don't want to come over as a hard nosed uncaring boss - even if I am!! Bottom line is my business comes first before his family (to me at least) and I understand that it doesn't with him of course.

[jammy_basturd]

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

[HRG]

Unfortunately for your business you have just dropped a priority in his life.

[Tyre Smoke]

Oh, I am. I just want some advice on how to tell him that we could really have done with knowing what was going on without coming across as an uncaring tt.

[jesta1865]

me, i would take it that he wasn't coming in, rearrange the cover for him so his shift is dealt with.

leave him a couple of messages asking how his dad is and reassuring him that work is covered and not to worry.

he will get in touch as then he will feel he owes you as you have not made an issue of it.

he will also i suspect try and catch up asap when he does come back.

its how i deal with my people (don't run my own business) but i do get them coming back and catching up within a couple of days and i have 'bent over backwards' to help them.

works for me.

[Drederick Tatum]

jammy_basturd said:

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

I would go with that

[saleen836]

Drederick Tatum said:

jammy_basturd said:

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

I would go with that

Same as above, if his father's condition has detiorated the last thing on his mind I suspect is work.

[audi321]

If you believe him - Forget all your frustrations and accept people have a life outside work.

If you doubt him - Get him in when he comes back and further question him about his lack of communications, maybe a warning if you still don't believe him.

It also depends really on what this guy does for you. If he's a key worker and difficult to replace, then go easy. If he's the cleaner, give him a harder time.

[M400 NBL]

saleen836 said:

Drederick Tatum said:

jammy_basturd said:

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

I would go with that

Same as above, if his father's condition has detiorated the last thing on his mind I suspect is work.

+1 but leave him a message asking him what hospital and ward his Father is in, and send him a get well card signed by all the staff. Apart from making him and his Father happy, your employee will continue to work hard when he returns. And when he calls to give the details, he'll no doubt give you the run down of his Father's condition/outlook.

If he's at his Fathers bedside most of the day with his mobile off, chances are he'll spend a lot of time talking/responding to family when he leaves the hospital.

When he returns to work, you can go back to being a hard bd again

We have a friends and family policy at work which allows staff a certain amount of unpaid time off for emergencies. This only applies to immediate family or dependants. The result is very little sickness. Your employee could quite easily have thrown a sicky but chose to be honest with you. Unpaid leave may be an option (assuming you have a sickness pay scheme).

[This Side Down]

Tyre Smoke said:

Oh, I am. I just want some advice on how to tell him that we could really have done with knowing what was going on without coming across as an uncaring tt.

Casually bring it up in a conversation next time you see him.

Something like:

TM: "Oh, sorry to hear about your father? How is he?"
Employee: "blah blah"
TM: "We were really worried about you, we tried to contact you to see if you were OK but couldn't get through. If there is anything we can do for you, please let me know."
Employee: *bursts into tears and forever more regards you as his bestest friend*

(I may have made the last bit up).

Chances are his emotions are probably all over the place and he is most definately not thinking in the right frame of mind.

[Tyre Smoke]

Good advice there chaps. Pretty much what I was going to do anyway.

Thanks

[Tallbut Buxomly]

M400 NBL said:

saleen836 said:

Drederick Tatum said:

jammy_basturd said:

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

I would go with that

Same as above, if his father's condition has detiorated the last thing on his mind I suspect is work.

+1 but leave him a message asking him what hospital and ward his Father is in, and send him a get well card signed by all the staff. Apart from making him and his Father happy, your employee will continue to work hard when he returns. And when he calls to give the details, he'll no doubt give you the run down of his Father's condition/outlook.

If he's at his Fathers bedside most of the day with his mobile off, chances are he'll spend a lot of time talking/responding to family when he leaves the hospital.

When he returns to work, you can go back to being a hard bd again

We have a friends and family policy at work which allows staff a certain amount of unpaid time off for emergencies. This only applies to immediate family or dependants. The result is very little sickness. Your employee could quite easily have thrown a sicky but chose to be honest with you. Unpaid leave may be an option (assuming you have a sickness pay scheme).

Be carefull of this. As nice a gesture as it is if you ask he may feel you dont trust him and are simply trying to check his excuse is valid so play it very carefully.

I would leave a message on his mobile. Prioritise the phraseing so.
A: Ask how his dad is.
B: ask if there is anything you/the company can do to help
C: ask him to let you know what his plans are in terms of when he thinks he'll be back at work and to keep you updated as best as possible so you can arrange cover as best as possible.
D: ask which hospital and ward his dad is in (if you feel brave enough) and then send a card signed by staff and yourself.

[Somewhatfoolish]

Tallbut Buxomly said:

M400 NBL said:

saleen836 said:

Drederick Tatum said:

jammy_basturd said:

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

I would go with that

Same as above, if his father's condition has detiorated the last thing on his mind I suspect is work.

+1 but leave him a message asking him what hospital and ward his Father is in, and send him a get well card signed by all the staff. Apart from making him and his Father happy, your employee will continue to work hard when he returns. And when he calls to give the details, he'll no doubt give you the run down of his Father's condition/outlook.

If he's at his Fathers bedside most of the day with his mobile off, chances are he'll spend a lot of time talking/responding to family when he leaves the hospital.

When he returns to work, you can go back to being a hard bd again

We have a friends and family policy at work which allows staff a certain amount of unpaid time off for emergencies. This only applies to immediate family or dependants. The result is very little sickness. Your employee could quite easily have thrown a sicky but chose to be honest with you. Unpaid leave may be an option (assuming you have a sickness pay scheme).

Be carefull of this. As nice a gesture as it is if you ask he may feel you dont trust him and are simply trying to check his excuse is valid so play it very carefully.

I would leave a message on his mobile. Prioritise the phraseing so.
A: Ask how his dad is.
B: ask if there is anything you/the company can do to help
C: ask him to let you know what his plans are in terms of when he thinks he'll be back at work and to keep you updated as best as possible so you can arrange cover as best as possible.
D: ask which hospital and ward his dad is in (if you feel brave enough) and then send a card signed by staff and yourself.

The card idea is going to really fk up if his dad's dead

[ianqv]

Cut him some slack this time.
But if he is a no show for his next shift, post him his P45!!!

[spikeyhead]

ianqv said:

Cut him some slack this time.
But if he is a no show for his next shift, post him his P45!!!

You've never visited your father on his deathbed. Come back here when you have and have jsut been sacked because you were more focused on hoping your father pulls through and supporting the rest of the family than you were about making another 28 widgets.

Some things are more important than work, for me, my health comes first, that of my family second, work comes some way below that.

[ianqv]

Actually I have been in some pretty crap situations.... (not that it has anything to do with anything here) but the world keeps on spinning and life goes on.
It only takes SECONDS to send a text saying... I won't be in until further notice!
Thats all the poor guy who is trying to run his business is asking! A perfectly reasonable request IMO.

If ever my staff went AWOL (normally young girls having Boyfriend issues) I would txt, call, write - if no response, they would be SACKED!
It always made me laugh that they would forget to call, but ALWAYS remember to collect their wage packet! - funny that!

[nonplussed]

ianqv said:

Actually I have been in some pretty crap situations.... (not that it has anything to do with anything here) but the world keeps on spinning and life goes on.
It only takes SECONDS to send a text saying... I won't be in until further notice!
Thats all the poor guy who is trying to run his business is asking! A perfectly reasonable request IMO.

If ever my staff went AWOL (normally young girls having Boyfriend issues) I would txt, call, write - if no response, they would be SACKED!
It always made me laugh that they would forget to call, but ALWAYS remember to collect their wage packet! - funny that!

I have to say I agree with this. No matter what the home situation is, sending a text message takes only seconds, job done. The guy owes this to his employer or should expect to be looking for another job. Once that is done I fully agree with cutting him some slack etc., but not being in touch at all is no acceptable.

[Tyre Smoke]

nonplussed said:

ianqv said:

Actually I have been in some pretty crap situations.... (not that it has anything to do with anything here) but the world keeps on spinning and life goes on.
It only takes SECONDS to send a text saying... I won't be in until further notice!
Thats all the poor guy who is trying to run his business is asking! A perfectly reasonable request IMO.

If ever my staff went AWOL (normally young girls having Boyfriend issues) I would txt, call, write - if no response, they would be SACKED!
It always made me laugh that they would forget to call, but ALWAYS remember to collect their wage packet! - funny that!

Which is what my wife said. She is from a very family orientated (Irish) background and thought he was being unreasonable not to contact us at all. It's not like he is even close to his father. By all accounts he hadn't spoken for years until they made up last year - even then it is polite indifference apparently. Also don't forget this bloke is mid 50's and his dad is 90 something, so it's hardly going to be a major shock to him if he does/did die.

I think a polite, caring but meant rebuke for not contacting us when we do eventually speak is in order.

I have to say I agree with this. No matter what the home situation is, sending a text message takes only seconds, job done. The guy owes this to his employer or should expect to be looking for another job. Once that is done I fully agree with cutting him some slack etc., but not being in touch at all is no acceptable.

[SGirl]

nonplussed said:

ianqv said:

Actually I have been in some pretty crap situations.... (not that it has anything to do with anything here) but the world keeps on spinning and life goes on.
It only takes SECONDS to send a text saying... I won't be in until further notice!
Thats all the poor guy who is trying to run his business is asking! A perfectly reasonable request IMO.

If ever my staff went AWOL (normally young girls having Boyfriend issues) I would txt, call, write - if no response, they would be SACKED!
It always made me laugh that they would forget to call, but ALWAYS remember to collect their wage packet! - funny that!

I have to say I agree with this. No matter what the home situation is, sending a text message takes only seconds, job done. The guy owes this to his employer or should expect to be looking for another job. Once that is done I fully agree with cutting him some slack etc., but not being in touch at all is no acceptable.

But if the guy is sitting in ITU, with his dad possibly about to expire at any moment? You can't use mobiles in ITUs. And quite rightly, he'd be reluctant to leave his dad's bedside in case his dad passes away in the 20 seconds he's gone out to send the text. (Or the 2 minutes it'd take to make the call, in case the OP's office is anything like my old one!)

He should have been in touch, I agree. But I can see why he hasn't been. I'm with the "cut him some slack" crew above.

Work isn't the top priority for most employees. Their families are.

[Soovy]

Drederick Tatum said:

jammy_basturd said:

If he's always been reliable then cut him some slack during these difficult times.

I would go with that

+10000

If he's reliable normally one suspects that something very bad has happened.

Leave him be, and when he's back if (a) his father is dead then never speak of the issue and (b) if his father is OK put your proverbial arm round him and ask nicely that he just keeps in touch next time.


Not a big deal this. One suspects the worst.