worst lines in a CV . . .

[khushy]

"due to my great reputation . . ."

LOL

khushy

[sleep envy]

going through a lengthy package tender process at the moment and the companies have been requested to submit CVs of the employees they're intending to use

MD of one company has included his CV which makes some rather nasty comments about his ex-wife

wtf put in in there I've no idea

[Mr AJ]

sleep envy said:

going through a lengthy package tender process at the moment and the companies have been requested to submit CVs of the employees they're intending to use

MD of one company has included his CV which makes some rather nasty comments about his ex-wife

wtf put in in there I've no idea

I think you need to quote parts of it for us...

[Google [bot]]

A friend of mine recently reminded me of a CV writing episode at uni. Essentially in the personal part of it, I put together a series of double negatives along the lines of it being impossible to underestimate my passion for cars or similar. It was only when revising the CV after distribution that unveiled it's true meaning that I had no interest in cars whatsoever.

[nick_bbb]

Classic typo. Hobbies "Country wking"

[XG332]

We get them alot at work.

"I enjoy sight seeing from the bus"

Great.

[jammy_basturd]

I had to go candidate hunting for a position at work a few months back. One of the profiles of a lass on a job website went along the lines of, "I enjoy shopping, music and going out with my friends so I'm looking for a job that combines these activities".

[john_p]

SOCIALISING

[Gargamel]

To Be A Respected and Well Polished Chartered Financial Analyst, Who Delivers Real Service and Financial Solutions To Clients Timeously in The Financial Services Industry.

[MATTP77]

Gargamel said:

To Be A Respected and Well Polished Chartered Financial Analyst, Who Delivers Real Service and Financial Solutions To Clients Timeously in The Financial Services Industry.

Get the author of that in for an interview, slap them, and tell them never to use that amount of capital letters again.... ever.

[RichB]

Many years ago I joined my boss to interview a candidate and having run out of things to talk about my boss said, "I notice from your C/V you like painting, what sort do you do?"

"Oh, mostly just around the house," the bloke replied. Boss kept a straight face but I was in stiches!

[Great Pretender]

What kind of job requires you to put a 'personal interests' section in your CV?

[jammy_basturd]

The position I was hiring for was a developers position. One candidate included "iPhone and Blackberry apps" on his CV, those exact words. We naturally assumed this means he had some at least some development work with iPhone and BB apps, but when we pressed him on what languages he had used to develop these apps he just said 'Oh no, I haven't done any development, I've just used some iPhone and BB apps'. Well done to you sir.

[zippy3x]

On page 4 of a 9 page CV for a software developer contract.

"Well versed in the art of using 2 monitors"

[Lefty]

zippy3x said:

On page 4 of a 9 page CV for a software developer contract.

"Well versed in the art of using 2 monitors"

[Ganglandboss]

We had a CV sent to us from a recruitment consultant a while back for one of their candidates. Some of my favourite bits:

"A mature and valuable member of any team, others know him as a “man who can”."

"Has a record of substantial achievement in some demanding roles. A serious man for serious projects."

"What is he like?

Some memorable comments made by discerning colleagues:-

Puts in whatever effort is required to bring his projects to a successful conclusion.
Clever. Capable. Has lots of talents and abilities. Honourable.
Most honest man I’ve ever known. Has Technical Ability. Dynamic.
Has a tidy mind. Mr Fixit. I’d trust him with my life. Easy to work with.
Has good business sense. Has his head screwed on. Astute.
Record of running successful projects. An engineer to his fingertips."

[Jonathan27]

Great Pretender said:

What kind of job requires you to put a 'personal interests' section in your CV?

This section is generally reserved for candidates who struggle to fill two pages on their CV, when limited just to professional or academic achievements.

[Whirlwind]

Ganglandboss said:

"Has a record of substantial achievement in some demanding roles. A serious man for serious projects."

That's actually quite a good line

[ShadownINja]

Jonathan27 said:

Great Pretender said:

What kind of job requires you to put a 'personal interests' section in your CV?

This section is generally reserved for candidates who struggle to fill two pages on their CV, when limited just to professional or academic achievements.

I thought it is a useful indicator of the person when you've got 1000 other CVs to read through. If they list interests as "clubbing, shopping, drinking" then I doubt they'll make it to the front of any short-list if they are equal in skills and experience to another candidate who has a life outside of work. Of course, I accept that not everyone will be captain of the rowing club or will have summited Everest three times while wearing a blindfold and juggling swords but it still helps when you're looking for any reason to throw a few in the bin.

[ShadownINja]

Whirlwind said:

Ganglandboss said:

"Has a record of substantial achievement in some demanding roles. A serious man for serious projects."

That's actually quite a good line

It does beg the question: did you hire Chuck Norris in the end or not?