Regional / local train travel in Germany: never again
Discussion
I used to live in Germany in the early 1990s. I would travel by train a fair bit. It was invariably on time and it was always very cheap.
Anyway forward fast to this week. I had to fly to Düsseldorf and back. Due to the anticipated traffic congestion I expected on my return journey to the airport, I decided to make my onward travel plans using the train, rather than the usual hire car. I thought this would be a faster and much more comfortable experience than the stress of taking a car. Big mistake.
Firstly the Regional train from Düsseldorf airport was late. It was full due to commuters going home. It was also surprisingly expensive at the equivalent of 14 quid one way for a 48 mile journey on the regular service (not high speed Inter City Express). Return tickets were not available, so it would be the same price to come back. I had checked booking in advance for a discount. No chance.
So I climbed aboard with my suitcase and had to stand for the first part of the journey. After some passengers got off I found a seat. Adjacent to me and behind were two loud scruffy blokes swigging whiskey from a hip flask with a massive dog in tow. It wasn't a pleasant environment. I then had to change to a local train. The delay meant I missed my original connection. I waited on the platform until the next train arrived. It was only 4 coaches but smart and modern. Oddly, despite being the terminus for that line, one passenger didn't get off. It was a bloke of about 40 and I think he was asleep. Anyway he stirred from his slumbers, lurched forward and somehow managed to press the button to open the doors, before swinging around on the door hand-rail and nearly falling down the gap between carriage and platform. He was absolutely paralytic. He only just managed the couple of steps to a platform bench. It was barely 6.30pm.
Anyway I climbed aboard and waited. And waited. And waited. Then followed an announcement from the driver that the train was suffering from a technical issue and would need to be re-booted. Just like your computer. Needless to say (and just like your computer!) this achieved nothing, despite numerous attempts (lights on lights off etc.). In fact the only thing it did manage, was to lock a frantic lady in the toilet for 20 minutes until the Guard managed to free her with a manual overide key. Sure enough we were told to abandon ship and take the next train. Unfortunately this one was only 2 coaches, so choc-a-bloc again with its original passengers and all of ours combined. Quite a few of the passengers also had bikes, which blocked the way. Another dog owner got on and the animal almost savaged a young lad sat near me. Eventually I got to my destination. Very late.
The next day I had to head back and went on an alternative route. Again the Regional train started late. I had the misfortune to have Herr Stinky sit next to me with his terrible BO issues and filthy bicycle. I only had an 8 minute connection time at Düsseldorf central station for my airport train. Having picked up a couple of minutes en route, the train stopped just before the station and waited there until the exact minute that my connecting train was due to depart. I ran down the stairs and up to the platform where my connecting train would have been, but nothing. Despondent I went back into the station proper and saw what could have been my connecting train was now on a different platform and raced up to it and jumped on board. I heard an old bag muttering that the train was late and blaming everyone else. It then set off and the driver announced that the delay had been caused by people standing too close to the electric doors, so that they couldn't close. He then thanked them sarcastically for delaying the train! I then had this awful feeling that I had got on the wrong train, because it seemed to heading out the station in the same direction we had come in. The "next station" computer indication was showing a town 140 miles away! If that was right, I wasn't getting my flight home!
A few minutes later the ordeal was over as the train slowed and I saw the airport come into view. I have never been so relieved to get off a train. I will never do that again and will always be booking a hire car from now on. The whole rail experience in Germany was just awful. I think we spend so much time moaning about our own rail service, that we don't realize how much worse it is elsewhere.
Anyway forward fast to this week. I had to fly to Düsseldorf and back. Due to the anticipated traffic congestion I expected on my return journey to the airport, I decided to make my onward travel plans using the train, rather than the usual hire car. I thought this would be a faster and much more comfortable experience than the stress of taking a car. Big mistake.
Firstly the Regional train from Düsseldorf airport was late. It was full due to commuters going home. It was also surprisingly expensive at the equivalent of 14 quid one way for a 48 mile journey on the regular service (not high speed Inter City Express). Return tickets were not available, so it would be the same price to come back. I had checked booking in advance for a discount. No chance.
So I climbed aboard with my suitcase and had to stand for the first part of the journey. After some passengers got off I found a seat. Adjacent to me and behind were two loud scruffy blokes swigging whiskey from a hip flask with a massive dog in tow. It wasn't a pleasant environment. I then had to change to a local train. The delay meant I missed my original connection. I waited on the platform until the next train arrived. It was only 4 coaches but smart and modern. Oddly, despite being the terminus for that line, one passenger didn't get off. It was a bloke of about 40 and I think he was asleep. Anyway he stirred from his slumbers, lurched forward and somehow managed to press the button to open the doors, before swinging around on the door hand-rail and nearly falling down the gap between carriage and platform. He was absolutely paralytic. He only just managed the couple of steps to a platform bench. It was barely 6.30pm.
Anyway I climbed aboard and waited. And waited. And waited. Then followed an announcement from the driver that the train was suffering from a technical issue and would need to be re-booted. Just like your computer. Needless to say (and just like your computer!) this achieved nothing, despite numerous attempts (lights on lights off etc.). In fact the only thing it did manage, was to lock a frantic lady in the toilet for 20 minutes until the Guard managed to free her with a manual overide key. Sure enough we were told to abandon ship and take the next train. Unfortunately this one was only 2 coaches, so choc-a-bloc again with its original passengers and all of ours combined. Quite a few of the passengers also had bikes, which blocked the way. Another dog owner got on and the animal almost savaged a young lad sat near me. Eventually I got to my destination. Very late.
The next day I had to head back and went on an alternative route. Again the Regional train started late. I had the misfortune to have Herr Stinky sit next to me with his terrible BO issues and filthy bicycle. I only had an 8 minute connection time at Düsseldorf central station for my airport train. Having picked up a couple of minutes en route, the train stopped just before the station and waited there until the exact minute that my connecting train was due to depart. I ran down the stairs and up to the platform where my connecting train would have been, but nothing. Despondent I went back into the station proper and saw what could have been my connecting train was now on a different platform and raced up to it and jumped on board. I heard an old bag muttering that the train was late and blaming everyone else. It then set off and the driver announced that the delay had been caused by people standing too close to the electric doors, so that they couldn't close. He then thanked them sarcastically for delaying the train! I then had this awful feeling that I had got on the wrong train, because it seemed to heading out the station in the same direction we had come in. The "next station" computer indication was showing a town 140 miles away! If that was right, I wasn't getting my flight home!
A few minutes later the ordeal was over as the train slowed and I saw the airport come into view. I have never been so relieved to get off a train. I will never do that again and will always be booking a hire car from now on. The whole rail experience in Germany was just awful. I think we spend so much time moaning about our own rail service, that we don't realize how much worse it is elsewhere.
I can only speak as a tourist having used the S-Bahn and U-Bahn in the Munich area. I had no problems or complaints about the service; with a knowledge of German limited to ordering beer and sausages ( and the odd useful words like einspritz and doppelkupplunggetriebe) I had no problems traveling around - I doubt if a German would have found it so easy in rural England.
This is surprising, but I have had issues on German trains before. A few years ago one from Berlin to Warsaw broke down not too far out of Berlin and we were stuck for about an hour, with no air-con. Eventually they came round with a key to open the windows.
They must be using their experience of running UK trains, I remember FGW doing the trick of replacing a broken down train with an even smaller one that is already full.
They must be using their experience of running UK trains, I remember FGW doing the trick of replacing a broken down train with an even smaller one that is already full.
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