The James Bond Thread
Discussion
They should really do a streaming deal with Netflix whereby they introduce the ability to steam all the past Bond films by getting NTTD as a premiere/exclusive stream.
Cinemas will never be back to fully strength, on a worldwide scale, that they appear to want to ensure maximum income. I think they are really shooting themselves in the foot with this debacle.
Cinemas will never be back to fully strength, on a worldwide scale, that they appear to want to ensure maximum income. I think they are really shooting themselves in the foot with this debacle.
Seems to me that the PH collective, stuck inside bored as it is, can write a better franchise entry. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first part of...
"No Aston left unturned"
Bond is on a bit of R+R in Salisbury after a particularly arduous recent mission involving a bit of demolition work in Wuhan, which we see as the pre-title sequence. He's motored down there in a soft top Aston with a young Taiwanese lady from WHO, on the promise of introducing her to the biggest spire in England.
Returning to the hotel having popped out for re-supply of beluga and bolly, he's stopped by a pair of Slavic coves asking way please to cathedral. He notices they have what looks like full hazmat gear in their rucksacks.
...over to you...
"No Aston left unturned"
Bond is on a bit of R+R in Salisbury after a particularly arduous recent mission involving a bit of demolition work in Wuhan, which we see as the pre-title sequence. He's motored down there in a soft top Aston with a young Taiwanese lady from WHO, on the promise of introducing her to the biggest spire in England.
Returning to the hotel having popped out for re-supply of beluga and bolly, he's stopped by a pair of Slavic coves asking way please to cathedral. He notices they have what looks like full hazmat gear in their rucksacks.
...over to you...
Newc said:
The Hypno-Toad said:
2.) Its far too pompous. The franchise seems to think that they are the only ones who can do this kind of film and I would suggest that not only Tom Cruise might have something to say about that but even the creators of the John Wick franchise might want to have a word too.
Agree with all your points and would add to this one that Jason Bourne was specifically created to show that Fleming wasn't the only person who could write Bond books, and then Tony Gilroy showed that Broccoli wasn't the only person who could make a contemporary Bond film, and in neither case does the mainstream franchise seem to have learned the lesson.nordboy said:
I honestly can’t even see cinemas being back to anywhere near capacity by April. Doubtful there’s going to be a vaccine by then and loads of people will give confined spaces like theatres and cinemas a wide berth.
Can see this being pushed to autumn next year.
bugger, should have put some money on it!!Can see this being pushed to autumn next year.
Newc said:
Seems to me that the PH collective, stuck inside bored as it is, can write a better franchise entry. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the first part of...
"No Aston left unturned"
Bond is on a bit of R+R in Salisbury after a particularly arduous recent mission involving a bit of demolition work in Wuhan, which we see as the pre-title sequence. He's motored down there in a soft top Aston with a young Taiwanese lady from WHO, on the promise of introducing her to the biggest spire in England.
Returning to the hotel having popped out for re-supply of beluga and bolly, he's stopped by a pair of Slavic coves asking way please to cathedral. He notices they have what looks like full hazmat gear in their rucksacks.
...over to you...
Bond raised a wizend hand to stroke his stubble. As the camera lingers on his Omega shinydiamondmaster Bond25 limited edition, he asks"No Aston left unturned"
Bond is on a bit of R+R in Salisbury after a particularly arduous recent mission involving a bit of demolition work in Wuhan, which we see as the pre-title sequence. He's motored down there in a soft top Aston with a young Taiwanese lady from WHO, on the promise of introducing her to the biggest spire in England.
Returning to the hotel having popped out for re-supply of beluga and bolly, he's stopped by a pair of Slavic coves asking way please to cathedral. He notices they have what looks like full hazmat gear in their rucksacks.
...over to you...
3M?
Yes. The best Hazmat suits money can buy...
Indeed. They are the new BMW 4 series of hazmat suits. I've had mine tailored in speed yellow, part of the individual range don't'cha know...
Bond reaches into his Berghaus Bond25 50litre limited edition, but stops. The penny drops and Bond reacts, although due to overly energatic editing the audience misses both the nuiance of Craigs acting as he realises his mistake, and indeed what the mistake he made was.
...over to you...
Some random jottings on a PH James Bond movie;
The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
The Hypno-Toad said:
Some random jottings on a PH James Bond movie;
The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
Very good, but you forgot the car chase where Bond folds down his rear seats for improved performance, and gets away from his pursuer by throwing a can of Red Bull at them and then cadence clutching. The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
The Hypno-Toad said:
Some random jottings on a PH James Bond movie;
The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
I wasn't expecting that...The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
Clockwork Cupcake said:
The Hypno-Toad said:
Some random jottings on a PH James Bond movie;
The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
Very good, but you forgot the car chase where Bond folds down his rear seats for improved performance, and gets away from his pursuer by throwing a can of Red Bull at them and then cadence clutching. The villain would be the chairman of a huge prestige watch company. All the rich people in the world have fallen in love with his brand and with good reason. Because what all us poor people don't know is that secretly they are teleport device which means all these powerfully built company directors don't have to worry about travelling on planes with the scum and always get to places first, simply by pressing a button on their watch that owns the room. However, the bad news is that the villain plans to randomly teleport them all into space unless they make sure he gets a job presenting Top Gear because he knows he would be the bestest presenter in the whole world. And for some reason, he hates dry cleaning shops. Haven't got a name for him yet. He would be played by Jason Plato.
The Plato villain would try to KILL BOND! NOW! by securing him to a lawn with special designed frozen sausages before releasing the honey badgers.
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Felix Leiter would be played by Jimbaux (if anyone can find him.)
Bond would drive a 12 year old black BMW 330tdi. Mapped, of course.
For the PH Bond it would be set in the tense, dangerous and high stakes arena of a new car showroom. Moneypenny would be looking to change her car and as she has heard round the office that Bond knows a bit about that sort of thing, she has brought him along to help negotiate the best possible deal.
As the salesman sits there in his best Burtons suit and Ebolex watch, you can hear a pin drop as Bond considers his options. He pulls the sleeve up of his genuine Subaru '555' Rally Jacket back to reveal his Breitling Pilots Watch with built in warning beacon, wondering if he has left enough money in his account for the next monthly payment on it & when the Masked Singer is going to start. He has already let the young lad across the desk know that "he shouldn't talk to him about PCP because they are all a rip off" and We Buy Any Car have offered Moneypenny retail for her MX-5. Plus he has a mate who works in service at Harwoods so he knows exactly how much profit the showroom has in all of its new or used cars.
The salesman tugs nervously at his collar and Primark tie.
"Are you in the trade, sir?"
Bond knew he had him. He looked at the trembling minion and delivered the coup de grace, adjusting his genuine Nero Black, Ferrari branded baseball cap for extra emphasis.
"No," he said, his rugged face breaking into a knowing smile. "I'm just an enthusiastic amateur,"
As this has been going on now for nearly three hours, Moneypenny shifts uncomfortably in her seat. She would have bought the car and been back in time to catch the end of Saturday Kitchen by now but Bond is not going let this one go. Finally, James is victorious and they agree a deal the salesman would have done at the start if they had asked for it.
But as they go to leave, the salesman makes the fatal mistake of saying "That's a nice BMW," Bond pounces at the opportunity like a shark cornering a squirrel, explaining that silver plaque on the front of the car is because the GRRC only let certain members have one of those. After his young foe has nodded blankly for the next 20 minutes at every sentence Bond says, that's when James decides to let him go, knowing that he has been victorious. He has crushed his opponent and must move on to the next challenge in his life of high adventure, making sure that everyone knows that Hamilton only wins so many races because he’s always in the best car.
By now Moneypenny has made mental note that Bond is a certain member and won't ever be getting double tops in the works car park after she's had one espresso martini too many at the next Christmas do. In fact, she's made a solemn vow to herself not even to show him any more photographs of her cats.
Gun barrel
Lots of nude women swimming across playing cards
Titles.
Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Saturday 23 January 22:44
Edited by The Hypno-Toad on Saturday 23 January 22:47
Halmyre said:
FourWheelDrift said:
The Hypno-Toad said:
M would be played by Eric Mc.
Q.I would play the pigeon that does a double take. It would need a good costume and a hell of a lot of make up but I reckon I could pull it off.
epom said:
Mistakes he knew meant trouble... this was on him, as he scanned the room through his Oakley super prism light defying X-ray tv lightweight spectacles (with built in Bose sound) he saw trouble.... trouble in the shape of Fanny Testes.
Over to you...
Bond put his fond memories of his last encounter with Fanny Testes to one side."Focus on the mission James " his inner voice spoke to him.Over to you...
Bond scanned the room and saw his prey
There he was hidden in the coener the double agent he had come to see. Walking casually over he mulled over the changing fortunes of the agent listed on file as XB7701-49 Corbyn J but known colloquially as "Magic Grandpa"
Extending his hand towards the bearded casually dressed figure of Jeremy Corbyn he was greeted with a resigned look.
"I thought I would be seeing you, I saw I had a tail when I left my house in Islington this adternoon." said Corby
"How are you Jeremy" Bond replied. " Hows semi retirement treating you" he enquired .
https://www.darkhorizons.com/bond-may-be-altered-t...
Bond's 'sponsors' are now considering asking for re-shoots as 007 normally shows off all the good stuff before its released and they are worried that it has been so long getting the film into cinemas, the gadgets will already be on the shelves before the movie is on the screens
Bond's 'sponsors' are now considering asking for re-shoots as 007 normally shows off all the good stuff before its released and they are worried that it has been so long getting the film into cinemas, the gadgets will already be on the shelves before the movie is on the screens
The Hypno-Toad said:
https://www.darkhorizons.com/bond-may-be-altered-t...
Bond's 'sponsors' are now considering asking for re-shoots as 007 normally shows off all the good stuff before its released and they are worried that it has been so long getting the film into cinemas, the gadgets will already be on the shelves before the movie is on the screens
They will have to reshoot the space hopper chase scene with electric scooters lol.Bond's 'sponsors' are now considering asking for re-shoots as 007 normally shows off all the good stuff before its released and they are worried that it has been so long getting the film into cinemas, the gadgets will already be on the shelves before the movie is on the screens
The Hypno-Toad said:
https://www.darkhorizons.com/bond-may-be-altered-t...
Bond's 'sponsors' are now considering asking for re-shoots as 007 normally shows off all the good stuff before its released and they are worried that it has been so long getting the film into cinemas, the gadgets will already be on the shelves before the movie is on the screens
What good stuff? There's two types of Bond-movie tech.Bond's 'sponsors' are now considering asking for re-shoots as 007 normally shows off all the good stuff before its released and they are worried that it has been so long getting the film into cinemas, the gadgets will already be on the shelves before the movie is on the screens
One, he'll have a phone, and a watch, and there's nothing cutting-edge about either. Adding yet another lens to a phone is like adding yet another blade to a razor; it might impress tech-geeks but it basically does sod-all for the average man in the street.
Two, he'll have something Q whipped up in his lab, and no-one's ever watched a Bond film and thought "I can't wait for that to come on the market". We don't even have the jet-pack from Thunderball on sale, and that was half a century ago.
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