New Fifth Gear 2018
Discussion
Currently watching delayed by an hour and this weeks "modification" is fitting brake discs on the rear of a bog standard Puma & using a mobile G-Force app to show how "great" his improvement is 
Maybe the segment should have been about sorting out the rust that was setting in very nicely on both rear arches and had even been covered over with some, sort of body coloured, Duck tape in an effort to hide it in some shots
It seems Jimmy needs to learn how to wear his harness properly too, as wearing it loose & on the piss in a few shots to camera seems like a great idea for safety - especially in a stripped out piece of tin can like that Puma
Maybe the segment should have been about sorting out the rust that was setting in very nicely on both rear arches and had even been covered over with some, sort of body coloured, Duck tape in an effort to hide it in some shots
It seems Jimmy needs to learn how to wear his harness properly too, as wearing it loose & on the piss in a few shots to camera seems like a great idea for safety - especially in a stripped out piece of tin can like that Puma
Edited by AlexRS2782 on Thursday 27th September 22:55
That was more boring than boredom itself. Audi S5 Vs Kia Stinger in a lap round the track where the far more expensive car won. No depth to it at all.
Dacia Duster as rated by morons. Imagine, if you will, a woman with a Hyundai SUV describing herself as a badge snob... Even a man who thought it cost double still wasn't impressed when told it was only 13k. This is what leasing does to you.
The caravan Vs camper was very dull. Johnny has this uninteresting monotone that would make a nuclear war sound pedestrian. I'd hate to be trapped in a pub with him.
The Puma mod, aimed at who? Young lads with oily hands who fancy watching two old blokes in a caravan? JC fans will be mortified the caravan didn't even get scraped. The answer, incidentally and sorry to spoil your excitement is buying or rent a static caravan. Given both were £60k, it was not exactly aimed at a broad audience.
The Nexo hydrogen fuel cell car could have been interesting Ronnie Sullivan is also as boring as shopping.
Dacia Duster as rated by morons. Imagine, if you will, a woman with a Hyundai SUV describing herself as a badge snob... Even a man who thought it cost double still wasn't impressed when told it was only 13k. This is what leasing does to you.
The caravan Vs camper was very dull. Johnny has this uninteresting monotone that would make a nuclear war sound pedestrian. I'd hate to be trapped in a pub with him.
The Puma mod, aimed at who? Young lads with oily hands who fancy watching two old blokes in a caravan? JC fans will be mortified the caravan didn't even get scraped. The answer, incidentally and sorry to spoil your excitement is buying or rent a static caravan. Given both were £60k, it was not exactly aimed at a broad audience.
The Nexo hydrogen fuel cell car could have been interesting Ronnie Sullivan is also as boring as shopping.
cerb4.5lee said:
It wasn't a great episode this week, I usually really enjoy it but it was poor for sure.
Yep.Only highlights for me were the Nexo getting confused and giving up trying the park when Ronnie was showing the remote parking trick to Judd Trump and Liang Wenbo.....
And Jimmy De Ville wearing a So-Cal Speed Shop T-shirt during the Dacia filming sequence. That will make John Reid smile.
I want to like it and some of the features are genuinely interesting, but I struggle to watch one without using fast-forward.
Genuinely interesting stuff like features on old classics or events or stuff we've not seen (KIA test facility) are good.
The rating thing out of 10 is weak but factual, therefore should stay. Same as genuine car reviews.
But Tiff and Plato caning it around a track is just pointless. Maybe I'm getting old; but it's fine once in a while when they're in a genuine performance car but seeing them basically abuse a couple of SUV's around Anglesey for no relevant purpose at all is snooze-worthy.
Genuinely interesting stuff like features on old classics or events or stuff we've not seen (KIA test facility) are good.
The rating thing out of 10 is weak but factual, therefore should stay. Same as genuine car reviews.
But Tiff and Plato caning it around a track is just pointless. Maybe I'm getting old; but it's fine once in a while when they're in a genuine performance car but seeing them basically abuse a couple of SUV's around Anglesey for no relevant purpose at all is snooze-worthy.
AppleJuice said:
No custard 
E60 M5 though
with W210 E55 AMG and C5 RS6 in a 'cheap and will rape your wallet super-saloon for £10k' segment
W205 C63S vs Giulia QV (Tiff v Plato)
Johnny adds a bit of Fully Charged with some London cabbies and a new Black Cab
There is a very unlucky PH who has a readers car thread call “E60 M5 wallet raper “ or similar 3 months in its remapped the big end bearings changed etc but the other weeks it went bang and only today on inspection the engine and oil it’s full of bits of metal so engine is ruined. E60 M5 though
with W210 E55 AMG and C5 RS6 in a 'cheap W205 C63S vs Giulia QV (Tiff v Plato)
Johnny adds a bit of Fully Charged with some London cabbies and a new Black Cab
Edited by AppleJuice on Thursday 6th September 22:04
Spotted one of those blinged up SVR's when i was shopping earlier today. They're even uglier up close compared to the shots on TV.
Plus the owner had clearly set the exhaust to full on anus mode as they drove out of Waitrose rasping the crap out of it - i don't think anyone was massively impressed tbh.
Also, another quality Wheeler Dealer segment.
Let's fit an LSD to a BMW Z3 and then prove how great the modification is by getting someone to leave some black tyre marks on the workshop floor
Similar to the Puma last week - the £££ on the LSD may have been better spent elsewhere on that Z, based on one shot of the exhaust that looked like it was slightly holed / rusted through in at least 1 area
Plus the owner had clearly set the exhaust to full on anus mode as they drove out of Waitrose rasping the crap out of it - i don't think anyone was massively impressed tbh.
Also, another quality Wheeler Dealer segment.
Let's fit an LSD to a BMW Z3 and then prove how great the modification is by getting someone to leave some black tyre marks on the workshop floor
Similar to the Puma last week - the £££ on the LSD may have been better spent elsewhere on that Z, based on one shot of the exhaust that looked like it was slightly holed / rusted through in at least 1 area
Shaoxter said:
Enjoyed yesterday's episode!
Surprised how much quicker the GT3RS was (on a damp track as well).
The sports car comparison was a bit odd, they had a bottom of the range SLK, non-S Boxster and top of the range Z4M (which you definitely can't get for £8k).
At least the Z4M was clean. It always bugs me that the used cars they feature are always a bit grubby. VBH did say the Z4M would need to be higher mileage to be the same price as the others though.Surprised how much quicker the GT3RS was (on a damp track as well).
The sports car comparison was a bit odd, they had a bottom of the range SLK, non-S Boxster and top of the range Z4M (which you definitely can't get for £8k).
Also, Jimmy DeVille criticising the styling of the Vauxhall. I guess he has short term memory loss and has forgotten about the abominations that Goblin Works turned out.
Shaoxter said:
Enjoyed yesterday's episode!
Surprised how much quicker the GT3RS was (on a damp track as well).
The sports car comparison was a bit odd, they had a bottom of the range SLK, non-S Boxster and top of the range Z4M (which you definitely can't get for £8k).
Yes, I agree, that wasn't a bad episode at all. Surprised how much quicker the GT3RS was (on a damp track as well).
The sports car comparison was a bit odd, they had a bottom of the range SLK, non-S Boxster and top of the range Z4M (which you definitely can't get for £8k).
The one jarring point was their adverse criticism of the Insignia GSi - why not INSIST on the petrol variant, what the F*** were Vauxhall thinking of, giving a diesel automatic GSi to 5th Gear to rip apart. I hope someone in the PR department is having his arse kicked.
The Porsche vs GTR was never going to end well for the GTR, from the appreciating price of the Porsche to it's iconic status, it was on a hammering to nothing. A standard GTR would have had a key price advantage and possibly optional carbon brakes, if they do them.
Regardless, I wouldn't be seen dead in either. The 911 was loud,brash, gaudy, embarrassingly bewinged and did the rollcage need to be so shouty and green - looked like a builder's yard. I realise other colours are available but i would choose a little more plush, a little more restraint and carbon brakes - because let's be fair, the carbon brakes won the track test. Not sure why they didn't have the same driver doing the two laps o afford consistency, albeit they are quite close in terms of ability.
Vicky's trio were OK but finding a Z4M was never going to be realistic so they should have stuck with a Z4 - the winner would have been the same.
The Polo GTI vs Cooper S was a bit pointless, given the Fiesta ST is almost certainly going to be the one to beat.
As for the back street garage suspension swop, dear god, not even a mention of getting the tracking and alignment reset, after lowering, before the tyres wore out. Worthwile mod but FFS who has a pry bar that big in their garage (questionable overkill IMHO)? When I changed the Mustang suspension, spring compressors were perfectly adequate and more realistic.
I've met VBH and Tiff a few times and thought they were both really nice. Tiff taking me out for a few laps in an M3 was great. I've chatted with Johnny online and I like his passion for old, eclectic cars. I don't really like Potato though. Mind you, I'd have a whole team of Potatoes over that melt from Goblin Worst Garage any day! I just don't know why he even has a section in the show? I assume he's banging one of the production team? It certainly can't be down to his knowledge of car modification!
Nice harness fitment in the 280Z!
Nice harness fitment in the 280Z!
I enjoyed this episode too, helped by the fact that I've got a Cooper S currently and also had a Z4M previously. Always nice to see a car you've had on the telly for me.
I've always loved the R35 GTR...yet for some reason the Nismo version has never done anything for me, the fact that it looks at tad Halfords and costs what it does doesn't help much I think.
I've always loved the R35 GTR...yet for some reason the Nismo version has never done anything for me, the fact that it looks at tad Halfords and costs what it does doesn't help much I think.
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