The Karate Kid

[Oakey]

For those of you who were thinking there just weren't enough remakes of popular Hollywood movies these days you'll be happy to learn that The Karate Kid, an 80s favourite of many, is currently being raped hard in the ass for your future viewing pleasure.

Keeping with all things 'equal opportunity', the main character is now a black kid (Will Smiths son to be exact) and instead of being called 'Daniel' he'll go by the ever traditional moniker 'Dre'. As you can expect (going from the trailer) the film will feature lots of Rap music. Perhaps there'll even be a simultaneously released Karate Kid theme song performed by Messrs Smith and Smith Jnr. Jackie Chan will play the role of Mr Miyagi. Except he's going to be called the rather catchy 'Mr Han'.

Bizarrely the film will be set in China (that's right, the home of Kung Fu) which creates some confusion as to why a Chinaman (Chan) is teaching a black kid (Smith Jnr) Japanese martial arts. Still, let's not let minor technicalities get in the way of a good money making opportunity.

For those of you who want to see a little more of your childhood memories destroyed, please see here:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/film/...

[remedy]

Oh dear

Do they really think it's going to be better? If not, why bother?
Does Will Smith have no pride?

[Revs_Addiction]

Is he going to do the crane kick though?!

[Mr. Miyagi] If do right, no can defense! [/Mr. Miyagi]

[TheEnd]

I was just going to say Han isn't a Japanese surname.

Why not just call it something else, that way, you won't taint the original.

[becksW]

I won't be able to watch this. I loved Karate Kid. (Having Ralph Macchio as the lead helped ) Why give it the same title if they really haven't kept to the original characters etc?

[Halb]

Remakes like this are sad. They try to get around the sadness by calling it a reboot.
sadly it does not hide the hideous lack of creativity or greyness of the suits who produce this drivel.

Though I could be wrong!

[kiteless]

Han was a nasty fker...........originally:




Bruce Lee is probably ranting up there: "Haaaan. Even in new film? I still invite for tea, then [highpitch]whaaaaaaadaaaaaaaaaa[/highpitch]. And. Break. Neck."

[Mclovin]

the only film of jackies i like is drunken master.....no doubt this karate kid film is aimed at kids using gansta rap music and bad attitudes to inspire wholesome morals in the yutes of today....

[dxg]

Oakey said:

For those of you who were thinking there just weren't enough remakes of popular Hollywood movies these days you'll be happy to learn that The Karate Kid, an 80s favourite of many, is currently being raped hard in the ass for your future viewing pleasure.

If you think that's bad, forthcoming is a remake of "Arthur" with Russell Brand in Dudley Moore's role. The horror.

[Jasandjules]

I won't be watching that.

[Oakey]

Someone pointed out something on another forum that made me laugh.

In the original we see just how much of a bad ass Mr Miyagi is when he takes on the Cobra Kai lot, who are all in their late teens and considerably bigger than Miyagi.

The same scene is in the new trailer, except it's Chan taking on a bunch of ten year olds.

A middle aged man kicking the crap out of ten year olds doesn't have quite the same message as an elderly man beating up a bunch of late teens.

[snowy slopes]

All the while saying, "wax on, wax off dre san"

[Moonhawk]

snowy slopes said:

All the while saying, "wax on, wax off dre san"

I bet there is no car valeting involved either.

[RizzoTheRat]

Noooooooooooo!

Much as I love Jacki Chan, this is wrong!

[Moonhawk]

Oakey said:

A middle aged man kicking the crap out of ten year olds doesn't have quite the same message as an elderly man beating up a bunch of late teens.

Maybe that'll be a plot twist. Social services will come round and give him a slap for abusing kids. His inability to pass an eCRB check means he can no longer work with kids and Dre will have to fight in the contest without his mentor

Edited by Moonhawk on Thursday 24th December 11:20

[edfrp]

Moonhawk said:

snowy slopes said:

All the while saying, "wax on, wax off dre san"

I bet there is no car valeting involved either.

Surely he'd end up "detailing" instead, "snow foam, wash, clay on, clay off, wash, blow dry, polish on, polish off, wax on, wax off..."

Not quite so snappy a quote.

[Oakey]

snowy slopes said:

All the while saying, "wax on, wax off dre san"

Didn't you see the trailer?

It's 'Jacket On, Jacket Off" now.

[NewNameNeeded]

edfrp said:

Moonhawk said:

snowy slopes said:

All the while saying, "wax on, wax off dre san"

I bet there is no car valeting involved either.

Surely he'd end up "detailing" instead, "snow foam, wash, clay on, clay off, wash, blow dry, polish on, polish off, wax on, wax off..."

Not quite so snappy a quote.

From trailer looks to be "jacket off, jacket on Dre san"

[Animal]

Not so much Karate Kid as Kung Fu Kid surely?!

Horse stance?
Wing Chun dummy?

Will be worth watching if only for Jackie Chan's facial hair...

[deadslow]

Oakey said:

For those of you who want to see a little more of your childhood memories destroyed, please see here:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/film/...

The film may well turn out to be craap but its immensely more embarrassing to admit you read the Stun.