The Gender Non-binary debate.

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Discussion

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

13,030 posts

101 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
George, a situation that most CIS males have been in. You're in a changing room, and a father is out alone with his young daughter, therefore he has no option to take her in to the changing room with him.

Do you A) flaunt your package at her, giving her an infant full monty.
Or B) change as discretely as possible, ideally in a cubicle, or if not free/available facing away from her etc.

So why would CC or any other trans at any stage be any different?

Another thought (and I assure you, I'm not trying to tell you how to parent)

You don't just drop bombshells on kids, you gradually help them understand things. You'd never need to say (and I'm being deliberately OTT) 'darling, that woman used to be a man, but she still has a cock' you'd trust that the Trans shows apt discretion/ respect that there are young eyes present, leaving you to introduce such concepts along with sexualities etc at a slow pace.

My little sister is adopted, and also has Downs, so is not as sharp as your daughter (likely) is. Mum and Dad from the age of about 5 slowly introduced the subject that she's their 'adopted daughter' and that another lady gave birth to her. She's 33 now, and she fully gets the concept, has for years. There was no 'darling we need to tell you something' moment.

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Wednesday 24th April 09:23

Clockwork Cupcake

74,615 posts

273 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
I think it highly unlikely that a pre op trans girl would be in a female space, ferris wheeling their cock in your daughters face.
rofl

Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
George, a situation that most CIS males have been in. You're in a changing room, and a father is out alone with his young daughter, therefore he has no option to take her in to the changing room with him.

Do you A) flaunt your package at her, giving her an infant full monty.
Or B) change as discretely as possible, ideally in a cubicle, or if not free/available facing away from her etc.

So why would CC or any other trans at any stage be any different?
Well, quite. Exactly.

Noodle1982

2,103 posts

107 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
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jfire

5,893 posts

73 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
Clockwork Cupcake said:
This might help. wink

That's a bit like saying there shouldn't be age specific toys because a 2 year old has all the necessary physical attributes to handle a chemistry set. Or that a 12 year old will happily play with wooden blocks. Of course that would be beneath their abilities as it would be for a 12 year old girl to be stuck with only a tea set instead of a chemistry set which would be poor parenting rather than oppression by the status quo. It's great that kids can play with whatever toys they wish these days, although no one beat me for holding a doll 30 odd years ago, so I'm not sure where I've had anything forced upon me like playing football (along with netball at school but couldn't join the team as no other schools had boys) or being attracted to women.

Supercilious Sid

2,579 posts

162 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
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Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
I think it highly unlikely that a pre op trans girl would be in a female space, ferris wheeling their cock in your daughters face. More likely just getting on with the job of getting changed in a cubicle, trying to avoid attention.
Have you thought about asking women about it (the ones who were born with a uterus)?
I would try here first https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights?order=
Let us know how you get on.

Fermit and Sexy Sarah

13,030 posts

101 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
Supercilious Sid said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
I think it highly unlikely that a pre op trans girl would be in a female space, ferris wheeling their cock in your daughters face. More likely just getting on with the job of getting changed in a cubicle, trying to avoid attention.
Have you thought about asking women about it (the ones who were born with a uterus)?
I would try here first https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights?order=
Let us know how you get on.
You're linking a place which once had a lengthy thread about leaving a bowl of water by the bedside for DH (darling husband) to wash his knob in. It's hardly a place for the last word in common sense.

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875...

Their CEO has also been quite clear on their policy regarding Trans hate speach.

https://www.mumsnet.com/info/trans-rights-moderati...

Edited by Fermit and Sexy Sarah on Wednesday 24th April 10:35

jfire

5,893 posts

73 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
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George Smiley said:
Of course belittle an opinion with ridicule.

The idea women’s changing areas all have cubicles is a joke. Most gyms appear to still operate open changing areas for men and women.

Personally I don’t feel comfortable with my daughter being potentially exposed to it, any issue with that??

The whole binary debate is ok in adulthood but with young impressionable minds I believe there is a danger in confusing them to a point they question their own views on their own gender.
You don't have to give in to the societal pressure of being au fait with such issues and imparting a thorough education to your children on something that no one really understands.

Not to undermine your concerns but I'd like to think your presence at least ensures her safety, while adult women often feel threatened in the opposite scenario, a fear they're made to feel bigoted for expressing.

Clockwork Cupcake

74,615 posts

273 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Their CEO has also been quite clear on their policy regarding Trans hate speach.

https://www.mumsnet.com/info/trans-rights-moderati...
I have to say that is a very fair and cogent statement. Much respect to her for that.

8.4L 154

5,530 posts

254 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
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Clockwork Cupcake said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Their CEO has also been quite clear on their policy regarding Trans hate speach.

https://www.mumsnet.com/info/trans-rights-moderati...
I have to say that is a very fair and cogent statement. Much respect to her for that.
Except its not enforced in a balanced manner. Trans voices are banned regularly just for posting a trans positive message whilst many of the banned and offensive terms are regularly used by the gender critical majority population of FWR. The discussion on this thread could not take place on mumsnet for instance. Its a policy designed to fend off legal action and pacify advertisers as it was put in place at a time where there was intense advertising revenue pressures placed on mumsnet. I'm not sure it will be long before they find out its no legal defence as its regularly flouted by the frequent posters. Mumsnet is already being seen and recognised by MP's as a source of hate speech on trans issues and recent discussions about online hate speech legislation included them alongside other more traditional online hate sites.

Clockwork Cupcake

74,615 posts

273 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
8.4L 154 said:
Except its not enforced in a balanced manner. Trans voices are banned regularly just for posting a trans positive message whilst many of the banned and offensive terms are regularly used by the gender critical majority population of FWR. The discussion on this thread could not take place on mumsnet for instance. Its a policy designed to fend off legal action and pacify advertisers as it was put in place at a time where there was intense advertising revenue pressures placed on mumsnet. I'm not sure it will be long before they find out its no legal defence as its regularly flouted by the frequent posters. Mumsnet is already being seen and recognised by MP's as a source of hate speech on trans issues and recent discussions about online hate speech legislation included them alongside other more traditional online hate sites.
Fair enough. I have never visited mumsnet and have no real desire to. I have heard that it is not dissimilar to Mos Eisley Spaceport. smile

JagLover

42,453 posts

236 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
8.4L 154 said:
Except its not enforced in a balanced manner. Trans voices are banned regularly just for posting a trans positive message whilst many of the banned and offensive terms are regularly used by the gender critical majority population of FWR. The discussion on this thread could not take place on mumsnet for instance. Its a policy designed to fend off legal action and pacify advertisers as it was put in place at a time where there was intense advertising revenue pressures placed on mumsnet. I'm not sure it will be long before they find out its no legal defence as its regularly flouted by the frequent posters. Mumsnet is already being seen and recognised by MP's as a source of hate speech on trans issues and recent discussions about online hate speech legislation included them alongside other more traditional online hate sites.
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.

George Smiley

5,048 posts

82 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
JagLover said:
8.4L 154 said:
Except its not enforced in a balanced manner. Trans voices are banned regularly just for posting a trans positive message whilst many of the banned and offensive terms are regularly used by the gender critical majority population of FWR. The discussion on this thread could not take place on mumsnet for instance. Its a policy designed to fend off legal action and pacify advertisers as it was put in place at a time where there was intense advertising revenue pressures placed on mumsnet. I'm not sure it will be long before they find out its no legal defence as its regularly flouted by the frequent posters. Mumsnet is already being seen and recognised by MP's as a source of hate speech on trans issues and recent discussions about online hate speech legislation included them alongside other more traditional online hate sites.
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.
if 8.4L doesn't agree with it, it is hate.

_dobbo_

14,387 posts

249 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
JagLover said:
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.
Defending mumsnet on PH, I never thought I'd live to see the day.

Clockwork Cupcake

74,615 posts

273 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
JagLover said:
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.
In fairness, a similar criticism could be levelled against many of the threads in "News, Politics & Economics" here on PH.

Many unpleasant opinions can be dressed up in the clothes of "common sense" and "reasonableness" and "majority opinion" but that doesn't make those opinions any more pleasant.

8.4L 154

5,530 posts

254 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
JagLover said:
8.4L 154 said:
Except its not enforced in a balanced manner. Trans voices are banned regularly just for posting a trans positive message whilst many of the banned and offensive terms are regularly used by the gender critical majority population of FWR. The discussion on this thread could not take place on mumsnet for instance. Its a policy designed to fend off legal action and pacify advertisers as it was put in place at a time where there was intense advertising revenue pressures placed on mumsnet. I'm not sure it will be long before they find out its no legal defence as its regularly flouted by the frequent posters. Mumsnet is already being seen and recognised by MP's as a source of hate speech on trans issues and recent discussions about online hate speech legislation included them alongside other more traditional online hate sites.
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.
When MP's are referencing it as such. When NSPCC pull out of Q&A sessions because of an overwhelming number of trans hostile questions, when they orchestrate campaigns against NSPCC, Comic relief, and start an organ donation boycott then i think its a safe bet there is something amiss in that particular section of mumsnet at least. People are taking notice. Important people in government are taking notice. Advertisers are taking notice. At least one major one pulled out last year and that info came from JR herself

George Smiley

5,048 posts

82 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
Clockwork Cupcake said:
JagLover said:
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.
In fairness, a similar criticism could be levelled against many of the threads in "News, Politics & Economics" here on PH.

Many unpleasant opinions can be dressed up in the clothes of "common sense" and "reasonableness" and "majority opinion" but that doesn't make those opinions any more pleasant.
Sometimes the right option isn’t the pleasant option.

Androgynous

214 posts

74 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
George Smiley said:
JagLover said:
8.4L 154 said:
Except its not enforced in a balanced manner. Trans voices are banned regularly just for posting a trans positive message whilst many of the banned and offensive terms are regularly used by the gender critical majority population of FWR. The discussion on this thread could not take place on mumsnet for instance. Its a policy designed to fend off legal action and pacify advertisers as it was put in place at a time where there was intense advertising revenue pressures placed on mumsnet. I'm not sure it will be long before they find out its no legal defence as its regularly flouted by the frequent posters. Mumsnet is already being seen and recognised by MP's as a source of hate speech on trans issues and recent discussions about online hate speech legislation included them alongside other more traditional online hate sites.
Mumsnet is usually seen as the voice of middle class mums. If you are describing it as a nest of hate speech perhaps you need to question how much is hate and how much is basic common sense and the protection of women.
if 8.4L doesn't agree with it, it is hate.
It's most likely an opinion 8.4 (what's your name BTW, I assume you're not Dave any more?) disagrees with and feels attacked. This is helpful...

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe

_dobbo_

14,387 posts

249 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
George Smiley said:
Sometimes the right option isn’t the pleasant option.
Based on your contributions to this thread you're not remotely qualified to decide what is "right".

Clockwork Cupcake

74,615 posts

273 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
George Smiley said:
Sometimes the right option isn’t the pleasant option.
And very often unpleasant opinions are not right.

I struggle to see how bigotry and intolerance are ever right.

But I'll continue to argue that I should be treated with respect and tolerance, and you (and those aligned with you) can continue to argue that I shouldn't. History will show which of us is on the right side, just like it did with the Civil Rights Movement, the Gay Rights Movement, etc. Opinions that seemed perfectly reasonable and "right" back then would very much not be today. And perhaps the same will be true of transphobia in the future.


Noodle1982

2,103 posts

107 months

Wednesday 24th April 2019
quotequote all
Clockwork Cupcake said:
And very often unpleasant opinions are not right.

I struggle to see how bigotry and intolerance are ever right.

But I'll continue to argue that I should be treated with respect and tolerance, and you (and those aligned with you) can continue to argue that I shouldn't. History will show which of us is on the right side, just like it did with the Civil Rights Movement, the Gay Rights Movement, etc. Opinions that seemed perfectly reasonable and "right" back then would very much not be today. And perhaps the same will be true of transphobia in the future.
What is the end goal for the trans community?

As far as I know they have the same rights as everyone else in the country. What else do they want?